


The Adventures of Roy Mustang: Sex Ed Teacher

by skydark



Series: The Adventures of Roy Mustang: Sex Ed Teacher [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: M/M, Roy/Ed - Freeform, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-16
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 160,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skydark/pseuds/skydark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alchemy, the military and hormones; not a good mix in anyone's book. Especially not for teenage, height-challanged boys packing enough firepower in a single clap of their hands to level a city block. Throw an unexpected crush into the mix and stand back to watch the fireworks. The story takes you on the foibles and pitfalls of one of the most unexpected journeys in the colonel's life -- falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He stood dumbfounded outside the door of his office, looking down the hall at the two figures there. They had their backs too him. It was late, much to late for anyone to be about. How had they slipped past the guards? He was here because he’d snuck out early for a date, and come back to finish up some paperwork so Hawkeye wouldn’t riddle him with bullets or barbs in the morning.

But that did not explain why the Elric brothers were here.

 

Did they honestly think that all that clanking Alphonse’s armour made was _stealthy_?

He waited until they moved; they never once looked back in his direction. He used the clunking of Al’s armor to mask his own footsteps and then peered around the corner.

Ed was eyeing a door and then he turned to look up and down the hall. Roy Mustang ducked quickly back around the corner. He was too intrigued by their childish attempt at espionage to stop them just yet, what were they after? A bright light flashed in the hallway, signaling Ed’s alchemy. This is how he picked locks. Well, that explained why Roy had to bail them out of jail several times from afar.

That is, he had to bail Ed out of jail. For some reason Al never seemed to get caught.

 _Little did the Flame Alchemist know that in those panicked situations Al froze up and acted just what he looked like, a suit of empty armor. Leaving the nefarious short, blonde bandit that was trying to make off with him to deal with the authorities alone. It had happened so many times that there were rumors around the smaller towns about the bandit and his odd armor fetish._

He waited a few heartbeats then rounded the corner himself and moved quietly to the doorway. Ah, the records room. The one Scheizka was charged with, the off-limits records room. He knew it would only take a moment or two for the both of them to be thoroughly engrossed, so he bided his time, picked at a bit of lint on the finger of his glove. When he knew he would scare the living hell out of them by walking in, he did so.

“What brings you boys out so late?” he asked in his smooth flat tone, not raising his voice above conversation level.

Al _JUMPED_. It was amusing to see the large form leap suddenly, maybe a good foot off the ground, impressive Roy thought, and land on his equally startled elder brother, who barely had time to manage a squeak before getting pounded into the carpet. Roy stood patiently, still eyeing the ever-present lint on his gloves until they sorted themselves out and started stammering excuses, or rather in Ed’s case, counter-threats.

“What are you doing here?” Ed demanded, once he’d re-inflated the lungs that Al had tried to crush. “Isn’t it late for you to be skulking about, Colonel?” Al was more contrite, as usual.

“We’re really sorry sir!” He said in the rushed embarrassed way he always did when Ed was being – well, Ed.

 

“I have the authority to be here Fullmetal, where as you don’t, especially not in here.” Roy glanced around the room, then walked over slowly to where the boys had managed to pull down an impressive number of books in the short time they’d been here. Ed and Al both began to quickly gather the books up, shoving them back on the shelves as the Colonel approached.

“What are you looking for?” Roy asked.

“The usual stuff, what do you think? I know you’re holding out on me, you always know things before me, how do you do that? I’m the one out there busting my ass!” Ed gave him a sneer and crammed another book onto the shelf. “Since we’re not allowed in here I figure this is as good a place as any to start looking for your sources.”

Ed was bright, always very bright.

“You know I could have you both arrested,” Roy said, his tone flat, he put his hands in his pockets, “and this time you’d go along with him Alphonse.”

Ed leapt to his feet. “No! Leave Al out of it, he’s not in the military anyways!” he snarled and took a half step toward Roy, moving in front of Al, always ready to defend Al.

“But he’s breaking and entering on military property” Roy informed Ed coldly, “And that is a serious offense.” Of course he would do no such thing, but he could have sworn the armour looked paler.

“No, you can arrest me, do whatever to me, just leave Al out of it!” Ed insisted, his voice cracking a bit as it always did when he was stressed. He was never good at hiding his emotions.

 _Ed wanted the blame. Always Ed shouldered the blame_.

Roy fixed them with his dark eyes. Ed squared his shoulders, maybe he was trying to look taller, shield Al from the Colonel’s glare.

"Alphonse," Roy snapped, "you return to your dorm room. As for you," he let his black eyes met gold ones, "you come with me." And the Colonel spun on his heel and strode out of the room. "And I expect you'll be repairing that lock." He said over his shoulder.

Ed snarled at his retreating back, only to be caught off guard by a large hand settling on his shoulder.

“Sorry brother,” Al said, “but you better do as he says.”

Ed sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry I got you busted Al, don’t wait up for me, ‘kay?” He always said it, even though he knew Al couldn’t sleep. And Al always said, “Ok.”

Roy listened as a lone pair of footsteps traveled up the hall to the door of his office. It was left slightly ajar. He could tell Fullmetal coming from a mile off, the slight unevenness of his stride, due to his automail no doubt.

Ed pushed into the office, but stood in the doorway for a moment.

“Come in and close the door.” Roy said, sitting with his elbows on his desk, fingers laced.

Ed sighed, shut the door and approached the desk. He stopped a few feet shy of it and folded his arms. “Ok, so you caught us,” he said, but his voice didn’t hold much sarcasm, Ed never shirked when he did something wrong.

“Well I can’t say I’m totally shocked, the way you go after information would remind one of a starving wolf going after meat,” Roy shook his head, “but I can’t condone it either. You take far too many liberties with the long leash I allow you.”

Ed’s jaw tightened predictably. He clenched and unclenched his fist. But he would take a certain amount of abuse, Roy knew him too well. He knew Ed considered it equal trade for the wrong he had done.

“No retort,” Roy said mildly, “how unlike you. Does that mean you think I’m right?” And how uncharitable of me, Roy thought, to take advantage of a contrite Fullmetal.

Ed visibly struggled and worked his mouth before finally speaking. He was doing a remarkable job of restraining himself Roy noted. He was growing up a bit it seemed.

“I’m sorry Colonel,” Ed grated between clenched teeth, “please believe me when I say I won’t do it again.” And then Ed panted, like it had been a struggle to give that little apology speech, and Roy knew that it truly had been.

“We.” The Colonel corrected him.

Ed cocked an eyebrow.

“You and your brother, say it, WE will never do it again.” Roy leaned back in his chair.

“Fine,” Ed snapped, “we.” Well that blew that plan. Promise for himself but not for Al. Too bad the bastard Colonel saw through it.

Ed had apologized and done a fine job of it. He’d even given in to the fact that Roy knew good and well a promise for himself was not a promise for Al, but then let Roy extract it anyways.

“Are you alright?” The Colonel suddenly asked.

“Huh? Me? I’m fine.” Ed said, a bit taken aback.

“Well, Al did land on you pretty hard,” and Roy let the familiar smirk cross his lips and Ed relaxed and just like that they were back to their usual dance.

“That’s because you startled him, you didn’t have to sneak up on us like that you know!” Ed leaned forward a little in emphasis. The boy always expressed with his body. Roy found he rather enjoyed it.

“Yes I did, you should have seen the look on your face,” and the smirk slid into a cocky grin as Ed turned red and took a deep breath.

“WHO DID YOU SAY WAS SO MINISCULE HIS OWN BROTHER DIDN’T SEE HIM AND SAT ON HIM?!” Ed howled.

“Ah, “ Roy said, “that would be you.”

Ed practically leapt to the desk and slammed his hands down on it. “You’re a regular bastard Colonel Mustang” he snarled, “and when I’m not your dog anymore you better believe I’m gonna bite!”

Roy leaned forward suddenly, and they were nose to nose.

“Do you bite hard FullMetal?” Roy grinned, he just meant to tease the boy, throw him more off guard, and be entertained by another amusing display of flailing and screeching. But he wasn’t prepared for the widening of golden eyes, the flush that wasn’t anger that started on his nose and spread to his cheeks and then the rushed back pedal that landed the boy on his ass on the floor in front of his desk.

What the hell?

Roy stood. “Ed, you ok?”

Ed looked up at him for a moment, when Roy started to come around the desk, Ed scrambled to his feet.

“I’m fine!” the boy said, waving his hands back and forth.

Roy took a step forward, Ed took a step back. Roy stopped, Ed stopped. Roy tilted his head, mocked taking a step forward and Ed jumped a step back. This was interesting. What exactly was going on here? Roy liked puzzles but not mysteries. And his forte was blunt, was it not?

“FullMetal, tell me what’s wrong,” he said, looking down on the boy who was watching him with a wary look. A look a rabbit might give a fox that approached too close for it’s liking.

Ed quickly shuttered his expression and narrowed his eyes. _Shutting me out_ , Roy thought.

“Nothing, nothing is wrong, I better go,” Ed took another step back then turned toward the door.

“You can’t,” Roy said simply. Ed whipped around on him.

“You can’t keep me here you bastard!” Ed said, voice starting to rise, but then he remembered, yes…yes he could. Ed was a criminal, he had broke and entered.

The Colonel folded his arms. “Ok then, explain yourself to the guard.”

Ed hung his head. “Right,” and he let out a sigh, “you gonna walk me out?”

Roy headed back around the desk and reclaimed his seat. “When I’m ready, I came here for a reason too you know, and now I have to finish what you and your brother interrupted. Really FullMetal, sometimes you have the worst luck.”

Ed grimaced and threw himself onto one of the couches. “I’m fate’s bitch, or haven’t you figured that out yet?” Ed sneered.

Roy almost laughed, but instead he bowed his head over his paperwork.

When next he looked up, the boy was lying on the couch, on his side, mostly curled up. Roy wondered how he could be comfortable with his head pillowed on his automail arm. Then he realized Ed was asleep. He finished up the last of the documents and straightened his desk a bit. Stood and got his coat and walked over to the couch, meaning to reach down and shake Ed awake. But instead he stopped and watched him for a moment.

Ed was an enigma. Such an attitude and such a mouth on a child that looked like _this._ Heavy golden bangs lay on his cheek. His flesh hand beneath his chin, fingers curled. He had a slightly turned up nose, adding to his youthful looks, and it was rather cute and his pursed lips almost didn’t seem quite right on a boy. When his eyes were closed his lashes brushed his cheeks and when they were open they were deep amber gold, framed in the self same dark lashes. Again, not quite right on a boy. Ed must favor his mother Roy finally concluded, and Al the father. Since he’s never met either he made the assumptions he could.

Ed made a soft noise in his sleep, his brow furrowed. _Dreaming_ Roy thought, still standing there, looking down. _Wonder what he dreams of? I’m sure he’s seen enough in his short time. You think you know him, and Al, but you really don’t know them as well as you think you do Roy Mustang_ , the Colonel mused to himself. _What must it have been like, giving up your arm? Your leg? Your body? I don’t even think the brothers Elric could describe it fully….just as well, maybe in time it will fade._ With that the Colonel leaned over and placed a hand on Ed’s shoulder, to give him a gentle shake.

“FullMetal…” he began.

Ed came up screaming, he flailed out with arms and legs and toppled himself off the couch. Roy jumped back and watched Ed thrash on the floor for a moment or two before barking, “FULLMETAL!” to get his attention. That seemed to do the trick.

There are eyes no man should have, let alone a boy. Ed was lying on his back, on the floor, panting. He was looking up at Roy with such a look that the Colonel almost didn’t have the breath to speak.

But he did. “You were obviously having a nightmare,” he said first and firmly, to reassure Ed, anything to make that look go away. That worst look, that look that was eating at him. Roy almost wanted to throw his coat over the boy’s head, just to make the look go away.

Ed’s lips moved but no words came forth. _A first_ Roy mused grimly. The boy’s chest was heaving, as if he’d been running and then his tongue skated out to wet his lips. Small and pink, running over the lips that Roy had wondered about earlier. Roy slowly reached down and offered his hand. Ed stared at it for a long moment before he raised his own hand, his gloved hand, his automail hand, and put it in the Colonel’s. Another moment held suspended while they both looked at their clasped hands, then Roy pulled and Ed stood.

The metal hand in his own shook. Roy didn’t release it right away. Ed looked around in apparent bewilderment, as if trying to figure out where he was and how he’d gotten there.

“Are you alright?” The Colonel asked.

Gold eyes flashed to his dark ones, the look was still there, but it was muted, he nodded slowly, tugged on his hand. Roy released him.

“Bad dream?” Roy asked again.

Ed nodded. Roy wasn’t used to not being offered words. Edward Elric was all about words. From the first moment he’d set foot in this office, and Roy suspected to his dying breath, words would be an integral part of Ed’s life. To be denied Ed’s words was a bit unsettling. Ed noticed the scrutiny, he scowled but it was uneven and half-hearted. He tugged on the sleeves of is familiar long red coat, at the ends of his gloves.

Was he shaking?

Roy shrugged on his own coat. Trying not to be obvious about watching Edward. The boy was shaking. He reached out again slowly, put his hand on the boy’s left shoulder, so Ed could feel the warmth in the contact.

Ed jumped, looked at Roy with wide eyes but he did not pull away.

“Let’s go get some coffee” Roy suggested, “that is if you’re up to it? I’ll take you back to your dorm room if……”

“N-no” Ed interrupted, “coffee is good…fine…please…” Ed trailed off in a mix of tangled words and shaking shoulders.

Roy nodded, removed his hand then gestured for Ed to proceed him to the door.

Ed quirked an eyebrow. “It’s…it’s not a date…” he tried to joke.

 _He has trouble showing weakness._

 _We are similar creatures._

“Well I would hope not,” Roy said, and when Ed didn’t move right away, Roy touched him again, behind his left shoulder and gave him a gentle push. “If we were you’d be dressed better,” Roy teased gently.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way I dress,” Ed said, fighting to keep his voice steady , the look, Roy noted with relief, was already fading. He obligingly let the Colonel usher him, move him down the hall where the Colonel bowed his head to a puzzled guard, took him down the steps and along the walk to the car lot.

Roy started to open the passenger side door for him, but Ed grunted and batted his hand away, gave him a proper scowl.

“I’m not helpless and it’s not a date,” he grunted.

“Right,” the Colonel said with his customary smirk.

“Just drive already,” Ed said as he got in and pulled the door closed.

Driving was comfortable. A silent FullMetal Alchemist was not. Ed had his head leaned against the glass of the passenger side window. It was very late and there was no traffic. He hadn’t uttered a word since they’d left headquarters.

Roy wasn’t sure how to break the silence. Ed was hostile at the best of times and volatile at the worst. He pulled up to a stop sign and sat. After a moment, Ed looked over at him.

“After you stop you can go,” he said, “I’ve never driven one of these but I’ve seen the pictures.”

“I’m well aware of the laws of traffic FullMetal, “ Roy settled a smirk on his features to make the boy more comfortable, Ed liked to spar. “What I’m not familiar with is your silence, want to talk about it?”

Ed’s jaw set, he stared at the dashboard.

“How about you just start with one word?” Roy prompted.

“No.” Ed grated between his teeth.

“That’s one word.” Roy let the car move forward again.

“Who asked you?!” The teenage alchemist suddenly exploded, “It sure wasn’t me, I didn’t ask you to be there, or to catch us and I sure as hell didn’t ask you to be all…..” Ed flailed his hands, “…like this! Understanding and shit! I didn’t ask for coffee, I didn’t ask for any of it!”

“But how like me to offer it anyways,” Roy responded smoothly, voice silky and level, “That’s the most you’ve said in the last hour.”

“Shut up! Just shut the hell up! I don’t need your sympathy or your help or whatever else it is you’ve got going for you! “ Ed turned his head and leveled a molten golden glare at the Colonel. “I’m just fine! I’m taking care of it, ME! I’ll take care of Al too!” he stopped abruptly, as if suddenly all the motivation left him, swung his face away too look back out the passenger side window.

“Quite a nefarious little display,” Roy said, “I can appreciate you wanting to take care of the situation and your little brother. Both noteworthy causes I’m sure.” Roy pulled the car over to the curb and set it into park.

“Where are we?” Ed asked, looking over at him again.

“My place, where you can rant to your hearts content and not make a public spectacle of yourself.” The Colonel said.

Ed made a derisive snort and opened the passenger side door and slide out of the car, Roy did the same on his side. Roy walked around the car and up the walk, twisting the keys in his hands, jogging up the three short steps to his front stoop. He stopped, looked back at the car. Ed still stood beside it, one hand on the car door as if by touching the door it was holding him in place.

Roy turned and unlocked the door, opened it, then looked back at Ed again. He didn’t say anything. If the boy piped up he’d like to go back to the dorms now, well that would be alright. Roy would take him. But instead he saw Ed visibly swallow, slowly remove his hand from the car door and start up the walk. The familiar red long coat swirled around his knees and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black leather pants. He never once raised his gaze to Roy’s.

Roy stood back and let Ed enter first. The young alchemist stopped just inside the doorway, looked around. Ever wary of any unfamiliar territory. It was a good thing. Roy waited patiently. Ed turned and looked at him again, a faint blushing crossed his cheeks, and then he walked into the living room proper, which was just off the entrance foyer.

Roy took off his coat and hung it on the mirrored rack over the bench to one side of his foyer and followed suit.

“Want to hang your coat on the rack?” he asked, the young alchemist started, the slowly pulled off his coat. Roy came forward and took it from him, silencing his immediate protest. “You’re my guest Edward, it’s alright if I hang up your coat.” Roy did just that, noting the striking difference then. Ed’s bright red worse for wear duster hanging next to his serene immaculate black trench. The corner of his mouth quirked into a bit of a smile.

The boy looked decidedly uncomfortable. Not unlike the proverbial bull in a china shop, Roy decided. Roy’s furnishings were eclectic comfort. His heavy couch, wooden coffee table and large ottoman belayed his grandfather’s antique book cases, his grandmother’s library table and his mother’s phone stand which was currently being used as a lamp table next to a big comfortable leather bound chair.

Ed must have felt he needed to say something. “It..it’s a nice place.” He managed, hugging his elbows.

“It’s not much” Roy said, “But it’s home. You can sit down FullMetal, I’ll go start some coffee.” He waved toward the bookcases. “Or if you’d rather you can always browse through those. Though not as impressive as Major Armstrong’s lineage, my grandfather had a book or two that was very enlightening.” He turned abruptly and left the boy there, hoping that by giving Ed some time alone he might relax a bit in the strange surroundings. It really wasn’t like Ed to be so timid,and Roy was certain he didn’t’ like it.

He shrugged out of his uniform jacket and dropped it over the back of a small kitchen chair and unbuttoned his cuffs to roll up his sleeves. He should be grateful FullMetal was showing some restraint for once. He sometimes wondered at the marked contrast between the Elric brothers. The younger; soft spoken, polite, reserved. The elder; brash and loud and boisterous. Quick witted and sharp tempered. Easy to anger, slow to trust. All these things were Edward Elric.

Roy hoped he had sugar. He knew Ed’s aversion to milk, but had seen the boy use coffee as a vehicle to drink obscene amounts of sugar. Even Havoc, the coffee-syrup maker, had commented on Ed’s intake.

“Must be why the boss is always so hyper,” Havoc has conjectured around his ever-present cigarette.

He heard Ed before he saw him. Try as he might the boy would never be able to completely hide the footfall of his automail from the Colonel’s sharp ears. Ed peered first around the doorway of the kitchen, then eyes lighting on Roy he stepped into it.

Neither said anything right away. Roy opened a cabinet and brought down two porcelain mugs. Plain, heavy white mugs. He was a bachelor and had no need for life’s finer things. Ed looked around the plain white kitchen. He actually turned in a circle, then looked back to Roy who was opening a counter top canister.

“What?” Roy asked.

“It’s so neat,” Ed said, “and clean. I don’t know, you don’t strike me as the type to do housework I guess.” The boy shrugged.

“Good call, I don’t.” Roy said, spooning coffee into the bottom of a beat up silver stove top percolator, “Mrs. Cates comes and cleans once a week. I really only use it as a place to occasionally sleep, so I don’t have the opportunity to mess it up.”

“Unlike your office,” Ed added, which earned him a slight and wry grin from the older man.

“Well that’s what Lt. Hawkeye is for,” Roy said and capping the canister and putting it back in its place.

It earned a bit of a smile out of the blonde alchemist. “Bet she’d drill you right between the eyes if she heard you say that” Ed said, almost in a companionable tone.

It dropped to silence again. The boy shifted and the Colonel watched the coffee pot.

“Why did you bring me here?” Ed finally asked, voice uncertain and awkward in the kitchen silence.

“You seemed like you needed to talk, and you’re not very adept at controlling yourself when you’re in a passion. So, I thought it might be better if you had a limited arena in which to share your views” Roy said quietly, not looking at Ed.

Roy heard more shifting, Ed moving around the kitchen area behind him.

“…nightmares” Ed finally said quietly, “I just have nightmares, everyone does.”

“I can imagine your nightmares are a little more vivid than most,” Roy said, watching the pot start to perk, “You’ve seen a lot in a mere 15 years.”

“I’m not a kid,” came the heated boyish tenor behind him, “if that is what you’re trying to say.”

“Nothing of the sort,” Roy replied, “even though you are still a child. You don’t like to acknowledge it, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I’m not a CHILD!” Ed’s voice roared behind him rising in pitch and volume It almost, _almost_ made Roy jump.

“The things I’ve….. we’ve done… I’m NOT and neither is AL, we have as much right to be treated as adults as any I’ve ever met, and MORE than some!” Ed howled, “And I don’t need your pompous ass to tell me otherwise!”

Roy move the percolator off the heat. He slowly turned to face Ed, leaned back on the counter and folded his arms.

“So you’ve managed to achieve adulthood, I see, quite an accomplishment. But then you are the great FullMetal Alchemist, lest I forget. A man of many achievements. “ Roy said evenly. “And while I won’t begrudge you the truth that you and Al are worthy of more respect of most adults that _I_ know, I will counter that more often than not, you find yourself out of your league, and by luck or chance you always prevail. That is the prerogative of the young, you know. Don’t be so quick to give up your rite of passage from childhood.”

Ed’s lips curled upward in a nasty smirk and he gave Roy a dismissive wave of his arm. “I don’t need anymore rites of passage, thanks! I’ve had all I’ll ever need!” And he thrust forward his automail arm to show this Colonel the proof of what he said, and to make him know that it was true, that he’d left childhood behind and he wasn’t going back.

He blinked in surprise when the Colonel caught his mechanical arm around the wrist and didn’t let go. Ed was even more surprised when Roy tugged on his arm, and he stumbled closer, blinking owlishly up at the man in front of him.

Roy stared at him mutely for a few moments, jaw set.

 _What is this?_

 _Why is he looking at me like that?_

 _Has he always been….pretty?_

Ed made a confused sound and put his flesh hand against Roy’s chest to try and push back.

Roy’s breath almost caught.

 _He touched me._

“So you’re an adult now?” Roy said, real low. It caused Ed’s brows to furrow as he leaned forward just slightly to hear him better.

 _God help me._

“Adults do things differently, feel things differently,” Roy murmured, “sometimes their passions run in different directions….”

Ed stilled in confusion, flushing. “Colonel…let go…”

Roy stilled as well, his dark eyes seeking and holding golden ones.

 _Just let me…._

Ed swallowed, but he wasn’t struggling. Roy had expected him to struggle.

 _Why aren’t you fighting this? Come on FullMetal, fight this…_

 _Don’t let me…._

Roy leaned forward. Edward did not move.

 _You don’t want this…me…implications…don’t let me…._

His mouth was soft. Softer than any boy’s had a right to be.

At first Ed made no move, made no sound. Roy moved his lips in a slow slide against the boys, felt his breath, and savored his surprise.

 _Scream Ed, push me away, fight me…. Don’t just let me…_

Ed made a sound then, a small sound, in his throat. He had no experience, when would he have had the time? He simply stood in Roy’s grip and let the older Alchemist touch him with his lips. And when Roy pulled back he blinked in bewilderment and almost leaned forward to follow Roy’s retreating mouth.

Roy almost forgot to breath, _almost_.

 _Scream Ed, push me away, fight me…god just let me…_

They stared at each other.

Then Roy smirked. “You’re being unusually compliant.”

And Ed turned crimson. “SONUVABITCH!” And he jerked hard, freeing his automail hand from Roy’s grip and staggered back a few steps, panting like he’d run a marathon.

Now the fun begins, the denial, the accusations, and the transmutation of Roy into something unpleasant.

“You think you’re all that?!” Ed shrieked, “from one lousy kiss?”

That was so not what Roy expected to hear.

“Pardon…me?” Roy said, “I’m not quite sure I heard you right.”

“Yeah,” Ed said, nodding, “you heard me. What was that? Is that the ‘magic’ that Havoc moans over? Hmph, that wasn’t anything. Yeah now it’s my turn bastard, the great Roy Mustang!” Ed waved his arms, “No woman is safe! Well if that’s all you got to offer then you must be doing some kind of ~love alchemy~ on the side!” Ed snorted, nodded once and folded his arms, rocking back on the heels of his feet.

Roy tried to trace back to where this situation had gone surreal. Not only that…he was insulted.

“What do you mean lousy kiss?” Roy asked, arching one thin dark eyebrow, “I didn’t hear you complaining.”

 _Because I was all over you, because I wanted to stick my tongue down your throat…. Don’t fight me now Ed… the implications will be different… run away now, take your lovely little black leather clad ass out the front door, and do it quick…. Because…. God help me…_

Ed colored up a bit, that was at least a little vindication.

“I thought you were an adult now Ed,” Roy said coolly, hoping to scare the boy, to send him running. But he should have known better. There's one thing Edward Elric was lousy at, and that was running from dangerous situations.

“This must be why you have so many dates Colonel,” Ed lifted his nose in the air, his slightly turned up nose. It was cute. Why was Roy preoccupied with Ed’s nose. He’d better listen to Ed’s words.

“They all get to the kissing point and realize they’ve been had” and Ed grinned. That huge grin, that cocky little bastard grin. That grin that said ha! I’m gonna make you squirm.

Roy’s eyes darkened, he felt his fist clench.

Ed’s eyes widened, grin becoming uncertain and he began to back away slowly.

There was a brief chase around the kitchen.

It ended with Ed pinned against the table, the edge of which was biting into his lower back. Roy had his wrists and forced them down so Ed’s hand were flat on the table surface. Roy leaned into him, forcing Ed to arch backwards.

“Colonel?!” Ed gasped, struggling against the hold, his body yielding against the larger frame pressing it back. Roy released one of his hands long enough to slip it under Ed’s butt, which made the boy gasp out loud and give him a little boost up until he was sitting on the table. Then Roy grabbed his hand again.

“A lousy kiss was it?” the Colonel said, soft and rough, “Well, let me redeem myself.” A predatory grin spread across his features. Ed visibly swallowed.

“Hey,” Ed said faintly, put on a weak grin, “I was just kidding…really you don’t have to go to any trou….” He made a muffled sound as Roy’s lips cut him off, as Roy’s body pressed him back on to the table, as Roy’s hands lifted his wrists above his head.

There was something terribly satisfying about kissing Ed. Roy wondered if he could put a finger on it. Was it the way his lips felt, or his hair smelled or his mouth tasted? Was it the way he was arching his body up against Roy’s, either by accident or design? Was it the way his right heel beat a faint pattern against the back of Roy’s left shin as the older man leaned over him, between his legs, pinning him to the table? Or was it something else? The carriage of this boy? The way his eyes moved, raw and full of his life. His devotion to his brother and his cause? His bravery in all things? He’d swept into Central like a tidal wave and had changed the lives of everyone he touched, Roy Mustang included. Was it all that then? This Edward Elric?

Ed moaned softly as Roy eased up a bit, letting him breath.

The Flame Alchemist hung over the FullMetal Alchemist, still pinned to his kitchen table.

 _What am I doing?_

 _Why is he letting me do this?_

 _Sweet god, if he’d only let me…._

 

Ed wet his lips again, twisted a bit without really struggling and seemed to be waiting for what Roy was going to do next.

Roy worked the pads of his thumbs over the insides of Ed’s wrists, flesh and otherwise.

 _Keep your tongue in your mouth boy, I’ll come undone._

 _Who am I kidding, I’m undone already…_

After another moment or two of silence, Ed finally summoned the courage to speak.

“Now what?” the boy asked low and breathless.

 _Now what?_

It hung like terror over Roy’s head. Now what? Oh he knew what he’d _like_ to do now, but _could_ he, _should_ he, _would_ he?

“Depends,” the older alchemist said, clearing his throat, “depends…on you really. Where do you see this going Ed?”

Ed floundered. Of course, Roy thought. That was the safest route, because he has no clue. The only thing he wasn’t a prodigy in, and aren’t you glad Roy Mustang, that his drive and determination to seek things other than a way to satisfy his hormonal urges has kept him this naïve?

“Another kiss?” Ed finally ventured, so low and hesitant that Roy wasn’t sure he’d heard it right. Was this voice really coming from Edward? The Edward ‘What Insult Are You Flinging At Me and I’ll Bust Your Head In For It’ Elric?

“Oh is that all,” Roy said, trying to hide the growing tension in his voice, “is that the limit of your vision. Another kiss, FullMetal?”

Ed went crimson and started to struggle. “Well you obviously don’t have any bright ideas either….let me up!”

“Oh I have plenty of ideas, “ Roy said, perhaps a bit harsher than he meant as he gritted his teeth to restrain Ed. Ed bucked against him in an attempt to throw him off and Roy almost groaned.

 _He has no idea, god help me if he did…_

 _I should give him what he’s asking for…_

 _Idiot, he has no clue what he’s asking for…_

“Let me UP!” Ed was working up a head of steam now, earnestly struggling against the Colonel’s grip, face contorted, lips pulled back feral. He tried to get his heel up on the table so he could have leverage with his foot but Roy raised releasing one of his hands, to slap it away. Ed’s flesh hand, freed, grabbed Roy’s shirtfront. “You sunuvabitch, I said let me UP!” the blonde alchemist yowled.

Roy narrowed his eyes and pulled back, yanking Ed into a sitting position in front of him, standing between Ed’s legs as the boy looked at him startled.

 _What you wanted Ed…._

And Roy kissed him again, fully expecting to be shoved away. Then when he wasn’t, deepening the kiss, broadening it, and he began to let his hands and lips roam. Roy’s lips moved from Ed’s mouth to the corner of his mouth, to the side of his smooth jaw and down the slope of his neck. Roy’s hands rested first on Ed’s waist, then up his sides, around to his back and down again. One hand he left resting just above the crest of Ed’s ass, the other trailed down the side of his thigh and rested right above his right knee.

Ed’s sounds were little grunts and gasps and half swallowed cries. It wasn’t until Roy’s teeth found the juncture of the boy’s shoulder and neck did he get a full fledged throaty sound, a cross between a moan and a shout. Roy kissed the spot after the bite, ran the tip of his nose back the way his lips had traveled and met Ed’s uneven golden gaze.

“Lousy kiss, huh?” The Flame Alchemist asked with his customary smirk.

“huh?” Ed said.

 

The customary smirk turned into a full-fledged grin that tinged on the evil side.

“Now that’s what I like to hear” Roy purred around it.

Ed looked, well he looked glazed. His brow furrowed for a moment and his eyes stayed locked on Roy’s lips. The look turned endearingly quizzical as if Ed couldn’t figure out why Roy’s lips were over _there_ and not over _here_ , where he was.

It was rather amusing. Ed looking so flushed and befuddled. Roy caught his chin and tilted his face up to look him in the eyes.

“You ok in there Ed?” he asked, gentle mirth in his voice. That seem to bring him to. He flushed beet red now and stammered.

“Su…sorry” he got out, and he licked his lips again. Roy almost felt his own breath catch, _almost_.

A compliant, willing Ed. A sight so rare as to be legend. Sitting atop his kitchen table, bangs in his eyes, lips slightly swollen, breathing a little erratic. Roy Mustang knew what he wanted next. But it would be unfair to the boy. He would explain. Ed was a prodigy. He would understand because Roy would not let him go blindly, not into something like this. Roy backed up and Ed made another small sound, almost one of dismay and almost reached for him. But Roy didn’t stop until his back came against the kitchen counter, putting distance between them.

 

“Alright then,” Roy cleared his throat, “I’m not one for dancing around issues. I have never gotten as far as I am now (and one day will be farther) by trying to skirt the truth. So here it is. If we go any further with this, it will turn into a intimate situation. That means one of us will end up on our backs”, and Roy held out a hand palm up to illustrate, “and the other of us will end up on top” and then Roy brought his other palm down on top of his outstretched one, “this will herald us having sex. Now I have no doubt that I would be on top. I’m older, more experienced and well bigger…”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY CAN’T HAVE…have…” and Ed broke off abruptly and got a comedic look of uncomfortable horror on his face.

“Somehow I knew you were going to bring that up,” Roy said, then shrugged. “I guess what I’m trying to say here is I don’t want an unwilling partner. Experience doesn’t matter, it’s the willingness of the thing.” Roy folded his arms. He watched Ed fidget on the table, hiding behind his blonde bangs, biting his lip.

 _I’m so going to hell…._

 _Might be worth it though…_

Ed finally summoned the courage to glance up at him, then quickly away.

“How much more humiliating are you going to make this for me?” the teen finally said, voice with a bare quiver, “You’re gonna make me ask for it? Is that because you have a guilty conscious?” Ed risked another glance at him then away again.

“Could be,” Roy said evenly, “but it could also be that I want to make sure you know what you’re asking for. I know you have a lot of books smarts Ed, and I know you have a lot of life experiences to be so young. But, I also know this isn’t one of them…” Roy smirked when that comment got a glare of out Ed, “Don’t look at me like that. You know I’m putting a lot on the line here, so I think I have a right to cover my ass so to speak.”

Ed’s jaw worked and Roy almost held his breath, but Ed was never one to disappoint.

“Consider it covered.” The boy slid off the table and walked the few scant feet to stand in front of the Colonel, “And I’m here…willingly,” he added quietly.

For a long silent moment they both just stood there, facing each other. Then the Colonel reached out, cupped his hand behind Edward’s head and drew the boy against his chest and rested his cheek on the top of his head.

“God help us both.” He said softly.

It was an odd sensation, lacing fingers with steel, but the Colonel was patient. He led Edward through his apartment, and into a back bedroom. It was well appointed, antiques and other pieces that were not quite right together but somehow managed to work. Roy released Ed’s hand, turning to close the door behind them. Ed stood silently and actually clasped his hands together in front of him.

“Nervous?” the Colonel asked, tugging at his collar, walking by Ed to a wooden butler that stood at the end of a large sleigh bed.

“Yeah,” Ed said unhesitant, “kind of, shouldn’t I be?”

Roy smiled, nodded. “Yes you should, maybe even a little afraid, nothing to be ashamed of FullMetal.”

“Could you….could you not use that name…in here?” Ed said quietly. Roy looked at him in a bit of surprise. “It’s just, that’s a working name,” Ed stuttered, “and this isn’t about that, I don’t want this to be about that. I don’t know what I mean...” he finished miserably.

Roy walked over to Ed, watched the boy’s eyes widen as he approached, saw his throat work, his shoulders tense.

“Ed, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Roy said, reaching out to lay his hands on Ed’s shoulders. One warm and the other cool. “We’ll only do as much as you feel up to, alright?” Roy Mustang knew how to soothe a skittish filly, but a colt was another matter entirely.

 _And I should get a medal for all this restraint, yes I should, god he’s so…how can a boy be so damn…_

He shook his head and sighed, lifting one hand to Ed’s wild bangs and pushing them back. Ed tilted his head a bit, leaning into the touch.

 _A freaking medal because right now I’m a hero…_

Roy couldn’t resist kissing him, and caught himself before he groaned into the boy’s mouth when Ed tried to respond. Ed was clumsy, unsure; he opened his mouth to Roy’s but shied a bit from Roy’s tongue. Didn’t know to offer his own, made all these appealing little sounds and half whimpers and finally Roy had to pull his mouth away, instead he bunched his hands in Ed’s shirt and lifted. The boy caught the movement, then slowly lifted his arms and allowed the Colonel to take his black top off of him. Roy’s eyes dropped to where automail met skin on Ed’s shoulder, his fingers followed. Ed jumped a little at the contact, swore softly to himself under his breath and made the effort to stand still. Roy lightly traced the line of the metal, the roughened skin, darker than the rest of his complexion, over his shoulder and down along one of the braces that lay just over a scar on Ed’s chest. Ed said nothing, but didn’t meet Roy’s eyes.

“I’m told this hurts. To have this surgery I mean,” Roy said softly, letting his fingers move around the brace and downward to the edge of the port that was just under his arm. Ed just gave a little shrug.

“You were only 10, 11?” Roy asked again, still soft, letting his fingers move along the port and slowly down the boy’s side. Ed wet his lips.

“Yeah” Ed said, non-committal, eyes anywhere by Roy’s face.

Roy bent his head slowly; his lips met cool smooth metal and slid slowly to where it joined the warm skin. Ed made a soft gasp and tilted his head away as to give better access.

“In..in a way,” Ed stammered, “it was for you…” and his throat worked and he clamped his mouth shut as if he’d said too much.

Roy straightened up, took Ed’s chin and turned the boy’s face to his, made him look up.

“Me?” Roy asked, letting Ed see confusion in his eyes.

“When you came that day, to Risembool,” Ed said, golden eyes suddenly searching dark ones, “at Winry and Pinako’s house, and you said to come to you…at Central. Become a State Alchemist. That was what started me thinking. I mean it’s for Al too, really it’s mostly for him, but I knew that I couldn’t do it the way I was. I knew that I had to be able to move like normal…normal people.” Ed trailed off, dropped his eyes.

 _God above, Ed, do you want me on my knees?_

“You’re not normal Ed,” and Roy smiled when Ed jerked his eyes back up to the Colonel’s face and frowned, “you’re extraordinary. Normal could never pertain to you. I wouldn’t want it to. Never be normal Ed.” Another kiss, it was so hard to keep is mouth off of Ed’s. Ed made a choked sound, and opened his mouth again, offering, hoping.

Roy explored his mouth with tongue, encouraging Ed to do the same. His hands moved again, both of them now trailing light fingers down Ed’s sides, then along the waist line of his leather pants to his navel before they dropped to the heavy buckle of the thick leather belt Ed habitually wore. Ed made a throaty intake of breath and Roy released his mouth, tilted his forehead against the boy’s.

Ed was trembling, lightly. Never before had the prospect of intimate relations been so enticing, so heady to Roy. His fingers worked the buckle and he knew Ed was watching, his forehead still pressed against Roy’s. Roy opened the belt, tugged it, slid it free of the loops and dropped it to the floor.

“This is real,” Ed said quietly, “this is the real thing. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, I mean for me. Sometimes I get so caught up in it, you know? Everything. You, Al, the stone. It all just moves around in my head like some strange fairy tale and I don’t know the end and I get so tired, but I can’t stop. I can’t ever stop until the story ends. I want it to end, and I’m afraid for it to end. I want things to be real. I want this to be real. Please tell me it’s real,” Ed finished on a soft plea, “I have to know you think it’s real too.”

“I won’t ever let you think otherwise,” Roy said, fingering the button of the leather pants, then flicking it open, “whatever comes after this, it will always be real between us. I promise.”

Roy noted that Ed had on boxers under his leather pants. Absurdly charming to him. He fingered the waistband. He straightened up then, Ed looked up at him. Roy reached up and began to unbutton the white dress shirt he wore under his uniform jacket. Ed’s eyes trailed his fingers down his chest, watched as he untucked the shirt from the waist of his military issue trousers and shrug it off his shoulders. Ed’s cheeks pinked a bit then and he looked to the side and Roy chuckled. This drew the boy’s gaze and ire right back to him.

“What’s so funny?” Ed asked, brows furrowed,

“It’s only my chest, Ed” Roy said, turned and draped the shirt over the wooden butler.

“I know,” Ed folded his arms across his own bare chest.

“Well there’s more to see you know,” Roy said, smile dancing on his mouth.

“I know,” Ed said again, the pink deepening to red.

“I never pegged you for the shy type,” Roy teased, trying to lighten the mood, put the boy at ease.

Ed snorted in typical Ed fashion. “Well what do you expect? I mean I’ve never…well you know I’ve _never_ , you keep rubbing it in and….” Ed risked a glance at Roy’s chest, “it’s all new and disconcerting and I’m not use to being uninformed and what does it matter anyways?” the teen rushed ahead, babbling, trying to cover embarrassment, “it’s not like I’m going to be shy about it forever, you’re gonna fix that right? You’re gonna make it so I know what I’m talking about at least, you’re going to teach me, right?”

“Right,” Roy said, smirk in voice and on face, he reached out, took Ed’s arm, spun him around and backed him toward the bed, “You lucky thing, you get the benefit of all my teachings on the subject. Why you’ll be an expert in no time, considering everyone knows what a prodigy you are, and everyone knows I am a most excellent teacher.”

Ed gawked at him, then the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat abruptly. Roy dropped his hands to either side of Ed’s thighs, going nose to nose with him. “I promise not to hold back, I promise to teach you to be the best lover anyone could ask for,” Roy continued, voice still light and teasing, “on this you have my word. And you always strive to be the best, don’t you Ed?”

Ed’s mouth worked and it was so funny not to hear any sound coming from this usually very verbose boy, and Roy leaned into him then, forcing him to lay back, bringing his weight down on him, between his legs, pinning him. Letting him feel what it was like to have someone over him, someone on him. To make it real for him. Roy would make this real, because that is what Ed wanted. Flesh on flesh as their chests came together. Ed stared up at him, hands working in the comforter, the soft clink of automail fingers clenching and unclenching. Roy took his mouth again, this time with a little more urgency, a little more demand. Ed’s eyes slid closed, his breath caught. Roy indulged, tasting, teasing, running his tongue over Ed’s teeth, the roof of his mouth, brushing up against the boy’s own tongue. Ed made his delicious noises, gagged a time or two, but he tried, god above, he tried. Ed wanted it. Roy wanted him to have it.

Roy pushed up on his arms, looked down at the flushed vision on his bed. Ed’s cheeks, neck, even his chest was rose tinged and once again his bottom lip looked swollen. It was with no small smug satisfaction to hear Ed make a small beseeching noise when Roy pushed off the bed and lifted one hand in Roy’s direction. Roy merely smiled, caught hold Ed’s right leg and lifted it, gripping the boy’s heavy boot by it’s heel and working it off, letting it fall with a thunk on the floor. Then a wrinkled sock. Then a second boot and sock joined the first pair. Roy took a moment to marvel at the intricately articulated automail foot peeking from beneath the hem of Ed’s leather pants. It was quite a piece of workmanship, capable of the same range of motion as a normal human foot. It’s hinged toes looked almost too perfect and the metal instep mimicked Ed’s flesh foot like a mirror.

Ed was making a close study of the ceiling and wearing holes in the comforter on Roy’s bed. Roy reached up and hooked his fingers under the waist of the leather pants. At the first tug Ed made a small noise.

“Rather leave them on for now?” Roy asked.

“No,” Ed said, not moving his eyes from the ceiling.

“Ok then,” Roy said, “lift your ass.”

Ed slowly raised his flesh foot and dug the heel into the edge of the bed and then obligingly lifted himself. Roy tugged the leather pants down, along with the charming cotton boxers, past the boy’s hips. After that it was an easy matter to slide them off his legs. Roy tossed them over the wooden butler, landing on top of his own button down shirt.

“I’ve never been naked in front of anyone before,” Ed said quietly, “I mean you know, other than Al or my mom…. “ He finished with a stammer.

“Naked suits you,” Roy purred, moving to lean back over him. Ed’s eyes flashed to his face then, to see if he was being laughed at, and his blush deepened when he met Roy’s eyes.

“This isn’t equal,” Ed muttered, “you’re still mostly dressed.”

“Oh but it is, I mean I’m the one that’s going to be doing most of the work, teaching you and all. So I think I should get to admire you a little first.” Roy said smoothly. He grinned when Ed’s rosy blush went truly crimson. “Why are you so embarrassed?” Roy said with mirth, “You’re really a nice looking young man Edward.”

Ed groaned and covered his face with his hands. Roy gave a soft laugh. He watched Ed a moment, hiding behind his hands, then leaned over and dropped a soft kiss on the boy’s chin. Then lower, to his chest. Then lower still to one pale nipple, peaked and waiting. He brushed it once with his lips and Ed made a sound that shot straight through Roy’s brain to his groin.

 _So going to hell…_

“You’re not afraid to tell me what you like,” Roy said, fighting to keep his voice steady, “and that’s good. Keep that up, and don’t be afraid to tell me what you don’t like, this is after all a learning experience.”

 _I’m just helping him out…better me than on the streets with who knows what…right?_

“Yeah ok” Ed managed to mumble. Roy reached up with one hand and lifted Ed’s automail hand from his face. An amber eye darted a quick nervous look at him then turned upwards to the ceiling. Roy moved up then, moving to the side, lying beside Ed, reaching to push his other hand off his face. Ed visibly swallowed and kept both golden eyes fixed on the ceiling. Roy caught his chin, turned is head and the golden eyes darted to his face, then dropped to his chin and studied it with intensity as if to burn through it.

“Ed you can look at me,” Roy said, coaxing the boy’s face back up.

“I know,” the teen said miserably, “its just not so easy right now,” he confessed.

Roy dropped his hand on Ed’s chest, drew idle circles there for a moment. “Embarrassed? I can understand that, I was your age once you know.” The Colonel lowered his head, cushioning it on his arm and bringing himself to Ed’s eye level. The key here was to reassure Ed, talk to him softly and introduce him slowly. This was the right way, not the way Roy actually wanted. Roy had wanted to bend Ed over the kitchen table and listen to him scream to the rafters, but if the initial introduction was right, maybe he could have that later.

Ed wet his lips and Roy choked back his groan and instead slowly let his fingers draw a line down the boy’s torso, drift over his stomach, stop to investigate a small navel. Ed wrinkled his nose, wiggled, half snorted.

“Stoppit, tickles” he said, a smile curling the corner of his mouth as Roy’s fingers lazily dipped in and out of the slight indent on his lower stomach. Roy grinned, pleased at the smile, the way Ed seemed to be relaxing.

“So you’re ticklish?” The Colonel asked, voice light.

“You better not,” Ed warned then, “I hate being tickled!” But he still squirmed under the light touches and made no move to push Roy’s hand away. When Roy’s fingers did finally move, Ed went still. Roy moved them slowly, below Ed’s navel until they brushed up against downy curls, the same shade of gold that crowned the boy’s head. Ed took a deep breath, then another.

“Trust me?” Roy leaned close and breathed in Ed’s ear.

“Yes,” was the nearly inaudible reply.

Roy dragged his fingers through the curls, his knuckles brushing up against the head of Ed’s penis, already standing at attention. Ed made a small sound, twisted just a little.

 _Gods, already hard, the vigor of youth… I haven’t even done anything…_

Roy pressed his lips to the shell of that small ear, lifted his hand and put his large warm palm over Ed’s erection. Ed shuddered, his heels dug into the bed, his automail hand raised and automail fingers curled over Roy’s forearm.

“It’s ok, isn’t it?” Roy whispered in the rose flushed ear.

“Yes,” Ed’s voice was high and thin and Roy suppressed a chuckle and slowly, so slowly, moved his palm down the length of Ed and back up, once, twice. Ed gasped and sucked in his bottom lip, the automail grip on Roy’s forearm tightened but wasn’t painful. Roy loosely wrapped his fingers around the boy, pressed his lips to Ed’s ear and began to tug and slide. Ed jerked, twisted, his knees bent slowly and he jerked his head to the side, facing Roy and pressed his face into Roy’s throat. Roy found it all terribly endearing.

And because Ed was a boy and inexperienced and aroused before he really even touched him, it did not take long. Roy lifted his head, moved up onto his elbow and watched. Ed’s eyes were closed tight, but the play of sensation across his face was cinematic mastery. He moved his lips to words only he knew and golden eyebrows climbed and dipped. Roy thought that if it were possible, he’d like to pause time at this very point and leave the boy as a living work of art, here on his bed, flushed and vibrant, for the world to see. But that wasn’t to be and Ed’s cock pulsed and jerked in his hand and he came with a lovely suddenness, his eyes flying open and lips parting and body arching up hard, held in an arch for a moment, before collapsing back to the bed. Half sobs and ragged pants and a boy’s soft whimpers and Roy smoothed his hand over Ed’s stomach, as if to rub the semen in and then curled it over his hip and rolled Ed onto his side facing Roy and let the panting teenager huddle against his chest. He ran a soothing hand up and down a lean smooth back and pressed lips to a temple feathered in golden silk. They lay like that for a while, neither speaking, just Ed pressing harder and Roy stroking softer and it was alright, because it was real and that was all it needed to be.

Reluctantly Roy moved first, sitting up, swinging his still booted feet off the bed and standing to stretch. Ed curled when the warmth left him, watching Roy’s back, noting with a little irritability that the Colonel still had on his pants.

“Is it my turn?” Ed asked the Colonel’s back. Roy looked at him over his shoulder.

“No,” Roy said, “you’ve got a long way to go, it’s not something you’re going to pick up overnight.”

“You’re just saying that to keep me coming back,” Ed said, then yawned.

“Is that a bad thing?” Roy turned back to the bed, shifted Ed all around worming the comforter and sheets from beneath the languid boy, then covering him in them.

“You’re really ruining your bastard image here,” Ed said, then yawn again and grimaced, “everyone will look at me funny if I don’t yell at you in the office” Ed got out, eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to keep himself awake.

“Oh don’t worry about that,” the Colonel smirked, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull his boots off, “there’s always the obligatory short comments coupled with the fact that as brilliant as you are, you tend to get blindsided easily.”

“…sumbitch…” came the barely audible, sleep laden mumble behind him. Roy just grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

Real things are not always easy things. In the days that followed that one chance encounter, Ed had made himself very scarce.

 _Just a kid_ Roy thought to himself amusedly, _and embarrassed, it’s normal_.

But times being what they were, and Ed being what he was, didn’t prevent him from the inevitable mission being assigned to him. He stood before the Colonel’s desk, shuffling his feet, snorting in indignation and drawling in his most insubordinate tones. Roy was glad to see that Edward was still Edward after all. The time apart would be good. Perhaps all it had been to Ed was another mission. Something to satisfy his curiosity and that was fine too. At least Roy would have that one perfect memory to keep, of Edward flushed, subdued and lying his arms, and that was enough really. At least, it should be enough. Because Fullmetal was still a boy when it was said and done, and while Roy wasn’t uncomfortable with what happened, he was at least aware that it wasn’t exactly an accepted norm.

On the second day of Ed’s departure, Roy pretended to be interested in the paperwork on his desk until Riza walked out the door. He was quite impressed with his own acting skills to say the least. He idly wondered how far he could take them. _Oh First Lieutenant, I just remembered I have an important engagement elsewhere, and as much as it pains me, I’ll simply have to let this paperwork wait until tomorrow. But don’t worry, I’ll be diligent until I get it caught up._ Then of course there would be the sound of a round loading into a chamber, because try as he might, he could never catch the sound of her actually drawing her weapon.

He scratched his pen along the edge of one report, following the jagged black line with his eyes, elbow on desk, chin in palm. Breda walked in and out of the office then, Roy never bothered to look up to see what he was doing. He wondered what Ed was doing. Well Ed was on a mission of course... a rumor as usual. They were all rumors. Fictions that might be facts but were still fictions until something concrete could be made of them. That was what Ed was for you see, separating fact from fiction. This is where the real part came in, wasn’t it? Roy sat up a little straighter. His stomach felt a little tighter. This is what the boy meant, wasn’t it? Ed chased after something always tantalizingly out of reach, always praying that the next lead was _real_. His whole life defined to the one point of getting his hands on a legend turned genuine. The intangible made tangible. Real. Roy let his fingers thread through his bangs. And had he really made that encounter what Ed needed it to be? Was he willing to be that much of an anchor? When Ed had woken the morning after, it was pretty much business as usual. He took all the hot water in the shower, ate Roy out of house and home, slammed out the front door as if nothing had happened in the least, and then seemingly run for his life. Roy hadn’t seen hide nor golden hair of the boy until he had Havoc chase him down to inform him of an impending mission.

  
 _I’m reading a lot more into this than I should_ , the Colonel mused, realizing he’d just scribbled all over the bottom of a requisition order, _and I’m not doing either one of us any good by doing so._

The Colonel sagged back in his chair and leaned his head back, one hand moved under the hem of his jacket and scatched. He looked up to see three pencils still stuck in the ceiling tiles. He still hadn’t beaten Havoc’s record of 7 for 5 whole days, mainly because Riza kept interrupting his attempts at ceiling dart glory. A grin spread on his mouth as the memory of Ed’s few pathetic attempts came to mind. Of Havoc cheering him on, Falman’s worried tones of being caught by the First Lieutenant and Roy wondering why he was the only one in the office that had to work that day. Ed hadn’t even managed to make one stick. Oh well, couldn’t be a prodigy at everything.

Roy closed his eyes, remembering soft moans and half sobs, clutching metal fingers and shuddering breaths. He gave him self and shake and a pursing of the lips and opened his eyes to see Breda had come back and was now staring at him. They both regarded each other silently. Roy let one arched black eyebrow rise. Breda snorted and started to raise his fingers to his nose, and then thought better of it.

“Second Lieutenant Breda!” Roy said, spreading his arms, “Welcome to this man’s army. Haven’t you heard yet? We are on our way to the top! The top, and nothing can hold us back. I know what you’re saying to yourself; all that charisma, all that talent, trapped day in day out behind a desk. He needs to be a forerunner of this military, a go getter, a radiating presence of reliability and endurance,“ Roy brought his hands together and laced his fingers, elbows on his desk.

“You look like a sturdy fellow second lieutenant,” Roy pressed on, “Capable of a great many things, yes a great many things and I for one am glad…no not just glad; ecstatic that you have, by some miracle, fallen in with my lot. Under my command no less, how can that be any more perfect for the either of us I ask you? I don’t think it can, that’s why I have this rather delicate assignment for you.” Roy smiled easily and put his chin on his laced fingers.

“I’m not forging your name anymore,” Breda said drolly, “So forget it, I have plans this evening.”

Roy let out a resigned sighed. One of the pencils from the ceiling lost the struggle, tumbled point over eraser and thumped the Colonel squarely once on top of his head, before hastening a rolling retreat across the desk and over the side to land at Breda’s feet. Breda bent down, picked it up, and promptly scratched his ear with it.

“Dismissed,” Roy snorted.

Breda grinned and strolled out of the office.

  
The fifth day after FullMetal had departed, Roy decided he would have a lunch date. This would all be very crafty on his part because his paperwork from the second day had mysteriously found its way into the bottom of an unused filing cabinet, and First Lieutenant Hawkeye had helpfully retrieved it for him. So now it was once again blocking any attempt at doodling on his desk blotter.

By the eighth day, all the old paperwork had somehow managed to get done in time for the new paperwork to take its place. A rubber band war escalated into a free for all and everyone got quiet when Hawkeye blundered into the cross fire and got hit on the nose.

The ninth day was orderly and respectful and full of groveling to make up for the eighth day.

On the thirteenth day, a telegram was passed into the Colonel’s hands. It was short and to the point.

 _Didn’t pan out. Next train back to Central tonight. Report in the morning._

 _E._

Roy fingered the edge of the stiff paper, folded it once and set it alight in the ashtray on top of his desk with a soft snap.

Once again, it hadn’t been real.

  
The next morning saw both of the Elrics briefly waylaid as they came into the office by Havoc and Breda cheerfully informing them about their superior rubber band snapping skills. Al stayed behind to get some pointers but Ed came slowly over to Roy’s desk, hands in his pockets, eyes slowly rising to meet Roy’s own.

“I got your telegram,” Roy said before Ed had a chance to speak, “Was there anything noteworthy at all?”

Ed shrugged, eyes straying off to the window behind Roy’s desk. “Not really, just some self important narrow minded little men who thought they were onto world domination.” Ed dropped his eyes to Roy’s desk, “You know, the usual.”

“I see,” Roy said, “And as usual you cleaned up after them, correct?”

“As usual,” Ed confirmed, lifting his eyes again and meeting Roy’s briefly.

“If it’s any consolation, I have an agent in the field right now, tracking down some information that might prove interesting to us both, I’ll keep you informed.” Roy laid a hand on his desk, tapped with his thumb. “Will you have your written report done by weeks end?” He added.

“Of course,” Ed said, “Now that we’re back here I can borrow Lieutenant Hawkeye’s typewriter.”

“Oh good,” Roy said, “I’ll be able to read it this time.”

Ed attempted an angry snort, but it just wasn’t in him. He turned his head slightly when he heard Al’s tinny laughter bubble up from the back of the room.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” Roy’s voice asked, low and even.

Golden eyes snapped back to his dark ones.

“Yes,” came the soft reply.

  
The Colonel invited him over, should he bring flowers? Ed rebraided his hair for the third time, behind him Al snorted.

“Should I do it?” Al asked, “What was wrong with it before you unbraided it in the first place?”

“Nothing! Everything! I don’t know, it bothered me!” Ed stomped past his brother and snatched his short black jacket off the bed.

“Well it seems like an awful lot of fuss for a night at the library,” Al said, taking a loud clanking seat at the table, “You haven’t even finished the books you brought back before we left and you want more. You’re always like this you know, you never want to finish what you start. Honestly, when you go to get my body back? Make sure you get all the pieces, alright?”

Ed gaped and stomped past his brother, slapping the black jacket on the back of a helmeted head making a low reverb sound. When he got to the door he still hadn’t thought of a good witty comeback, but being who he was, he had to say something.

“Oh yeah?!” He yelled, yanking the door open.

“Yeah!” Al retaliated, adjusting his helmet.

“Fine! Anything else?!” Ed said, hovering on the threshold.

“No!” Al said, slamming open a book.

“Don’t wait up!” Ed bellowed stepping out the door.

“Don’t worry I won’t!” Al shouted, savaging a page.

“Good!” Ed screeched and slammed the door.

“Thank goodness he finally left,” Al muttered and turned to his book.

Ed thundered down the walk, shrugging on his jacket. He gave himself the quick checklist pat down. Watch, check. Spare gloves, check. Dorm key, check. Pocket money, check. Sanity? That was in question.

 _What am I doing? I’m going over to the Colonel’s is what I’m doing. I’m just going over there. Nothing has to happen. He invited me. Would have been rude to say no, he’s the Colonel._

Ed and manners were bitter rivals at best, but somewhere in his foggy manners recollection it was usually a nice gesture for a guest to bring some sort of gift. Ok not a gift, a show of appreciation. He nixed his earlier flower idea. Really what would the Colonel do with flowers, other than snicker perhaps and make fun of him for it, so that was right out. He considered wine, but how would he get his hands on it? No one would sell it to him no matter how persistent he was or how hard he tried to shove his pocket watch up their nose. The one and only time he’d tried to alchemize wine, he was told it tasted like the dregs of a rain barrel, and that he’d better get a lawyer because if anyone got sick he’d be sued. So that was right out.

Chocolate? Well that was a thought. He loved chocolate, but wouldn’t it be rude to bring a box of chocolate and then eat it? His feet took him down the path toward the bus stop and once there he leaned against the bus shelter, hands in pockets.

So what else was there? A book! Of course, he’d stop and get a book. There was a book seller on the block over from the Colonel’s apartment, and a book was nice neutral house thing. Not a gift. An invite thing. Yeah, a book. That’s what he’d do.

Only, what did the Colonel read? His mind skipped back to a time when he had been summoned out of the office and Ed had taken the opportunity to shamelessly rifle though the things on his desk. An odd magazine had fallen out of one of the books he’d picked up and Ed remembered suddenly with reddening cheeks just what it was that the Colonel read.

Ok, chocolate it was.

Roy straightened his collar and cuffs as he headed to answer the knock at his front door. He opened it, blinked once and stepped back. Ed strode in like he owned the place, shoved a half eaten box of chocolate at Roy, and licked his lips.

“Sorry I’m late, stopped to get you… I mean get that,” Ed said, waving at the box, “Hope you don’t mind I had a few, just to make sure they were ok and all, what’s for dinner?”

Roy worked his jaw slowly, then shut the door and carried the ravaged chocolate box to the coffee table. He watched Ed shrug off his jacket and throw it at the couch, then look at him expectantly.

“Well hello there Edward, so nice of you to come,” Roy said, setting a smile on his face, “Thank you for the chocolates or what’s left of them. I’m adept at making ham sandwiches if you like, I wasn’t aware I had to feed you.”

“Ham sandwiches!” Ed grinned, “You’re on!” and headed for the kitchen.

“Is your automail leg hollow?” Roy asked as the fourth sandwich he’d placed in front of Ed was inhaled.

Ed gave him a funny look.

Roy shrugged.

“I just wonder where you put it all,” Roy said, tying the end of the bread sack closed.

“Don’t close that yet,” Ed said, “Got any pickles?”

“No,” Roy said firmly as he got up and returned the bread to the box on the counter.

Ed wet his finger and used it to pick up the crumbs left on his plate. He stuck his finger in his mouth and caught Roy staring at him.

“What?” The younger alchemist said, “I’m still growing you know.”

“Into what, I’m not sure,” The Colonel sighed.

“And here I brought over a house thing,” Ed groused, “I thought I’d get something out of it besides sandwiches. The next time you want me to come over, cook something. It’s so rude to invite someone over and not have anything to eat,” Ed snorted and pushed the plate at Roy.

Roy looked at the plate and then at the teen giving him a bland stare.

“Well you certainly seem to have recovered quickly,” Roy said, picking the plate up and heading for the sink.

“Recovered?” Ed said, “What do you mean? I didn’t get hurt this time around, I’m fine.”

“I didn’t mean physically,” Roy said, “You were very quiet in the office, even Breda noticed. _Breda_.” Roy repeated for emphasis.

“Oh that,” Ed said, shrugged and looked away, “I was just tired is all, it was a long trip and we got in late and I didn’t get to sleep right away and that’s all that was, nothing to it.”

Roy walked back over to the table and stopped by Ed’s chair. When Ed finally looked up at him he gripped the teen by the arm and pulled him to his feet. Ed’s hair was an irresistible draw. He threaded fingers through the heavy golden bangs, pushing them back and leaned down slowly, giving Ed time to make a choice.

Ed’s face tilted up, eyes went half shuttered, lips parted. Ed was indeed a prodigy for he learned how to lure Roy in quickly enough, and he made delicious sounds when he was kissed.

It didn’t take long for the clothes shedding procession to make its way down to the bedroom and inside. Once there, Roy shoved Ed back onto the bed and finally wiggled him out of his form fitting leather pants. The blush was still evident on the boys cheeks and neck and spread to his chest, but the hesitation from the first time was gone. He let Roy bare him in an almost languid fashion and seemed pleased when Roy took a moment to admire what he’d uncovered on his bed. Roy started to lean over him but an automail hand planted itself firmly on his chest.

“Uh uh,” Ed said, then sucked in his lower lip for a moment before continuing, “Your clothes off this time. All of them.”

“Giving me orders Full…Edward?” Roy chuckled, catching himself from using the ‘work’ name.

“Maybe?” Ed said, “More like a request with emphasis?” Ed’s flesh foot joined his automail hand in holding the older alchemist off.

“Well when you put it like that, how can I refuse?” Roy said, allowing Ed to fend him off. He stood back and began to unbutton his shirt. Ed sat up on his elbows, then pushed himself up onto his butt. Roy untucked his shirt and shrugged it off, throwing it over the valet at the end of the bed. Next he sat down right next to Ed and worked off his boots and socks. Then he stood back up and undid his belt and dropped it over the valet. His slacks came off next and finally his briefs. Ed found the crown molding around the ceiling highly interesting at about that time, and Roy shook his head.

“You asked me to get naked, the least you could do is look at me,” he snorted, hands on hips.

“I’m getting to it,” Ed said, voice trying to be his normal flippant self, but holding an edge of uncertainty. His eyes left the crown molding and lowered to Roy’s face, then his neck. His chest. His face again, his chest. His face.

“Oh for the love of….I have the same equipment you do,” Roy stated and advanced on the boy.

“Yeah ok, don’t get huffy!” Ed squeaked and started scooting back, but Roy climbed up over him and Ed flopped onto his back, large amber eyes meeting amused dark ones. Roy settled on his knees and caught the end of Ed’s braid, lying to the side of his head and neatly plucked the tie from it. He unplaited it slowly, working his fingers into it and the splaying the hair out.

“What was that for?” Ed asked in a strained manner, seemingly still adjusting to having a naked Flame Alchemist straddling his hips.

“I wanted to see it down,” Roy said, “I think I like it down.” Roy tilted his head. “You’ll have to wear it down sometime.”

For some reason this seemed to relax Ed.

“What? It gets in my eyes and it gets tangled and Al’s no good at picking out knots because the leather on his gloves snags and my automail snags and it gets hot.” Ed snorted softly.

“But I like it,” Roy insisted.

“Maybe on days that aren’t windy,” Ed conceded.

Roy smiled and slowly lowered himself over Ed, leaning down to once again claim that smart assed little mouth and make it his. Ed started to raise his hands, but then didn’t seem to know what to do with them, so he dropped them back to the bed to abuse the comforter. Roy dragged his mouth away from Ed’s lips, down along his jaw, his neck, over his flesh shoulder, and across his collar bone to his chest. He licked at the nipple there, earning a gasp tossed into the groans the kisses had already earned him. He then rested his forehead on the boy’s chest. Very slowly a hand raised, a flesh hand, and touched the back of Roy’s head. Fingers moved slowly, jerkily, in small circles against his nape. Roy closed his eyes for the briefest of time and let Ed’s fingers lull him.

 _He’s back in my bed. What shall I do with him?_

 _Stupid question, of course I know what I should do with him._

 _But what should he do with me?_

Ed’s voice, so unexpected in the stillness of the moment, brought Roy out of his musings.

“So, what are you going to show me today teach?” Ed gave Roy a wavy smile when the man lifted his head to look at him.

“Ah, well, glad you asked…let’s get you in position.” Roy moved off of Ed and began directing the boy to scoot up into the pillows. Ed complied with wiggles and grunts, laid back into the pillows at the head of the bed and gave Roy a quizzical look. Roy smiled at him and dropped his hands to Ed’s thighs. The boy’s body was like the boy’s temperament. Warm and cool, hard and soft. Middle ground was a hard thing for Edward Elric. His eyes had dropped to Roy’s hands on his thighs and they watched as Roy moved them down to his knees, then they widened as Roy pushed his knees apart.

“What are we doing?” Ed asked, eyes flicking up to Roy’s face, blonde bangs half obscuring them.

“I’m going to show you,” Roy said, spreading Ed’s legs to a point where they were wide, but not uncomfortably so. “There are more uses to a mouth than just flinging insults at your superior. Or eating, in your case.” Roy lowered himself to lie between Ed’s legs and the teen gaped at him.

“Wait a minute,” Ed started, but Roy reached out with two fingers and touched him, lower than he had before, under his balls. Ed jerked in surprise and slammed his head against the headboard with a resounding crack.

Roy winced and Ed half wailed, hand flying to the back of his head. The Colonel sat up on his knees making a shushing sound and drew Ed’s head against his chest, helping him rub the smarting spot and also his back.

It was such a strange position: Ed, legs splayed with the Colonel between them, his cheek against the Colonel’s chest.

“That hurt!” Ed accused.

“Well it’s your own fault for being so spastic,” Roy said calmly, still stroking the back of his head, “all I did was touch you.”

“You touched me…where you haven’t touched me before! Give me some warning at least.” Ed’s voice was muffled against his chest, and Roy grinned. Roy sat the boy back and shook his head.

“I’m supposed to be touching you, we’re having sex,” he said with barely contained mirth.

“I know that,” Ed spat, and shifted all around in the pillows.

“Here,” Roy tried to help, “Put one behind your head.” And he stuffed a pillow behind Ed’s head. “Comfortable?”

“No,” Ed said, “It’s making me lean forward and I’ll get a crick in my neck.”

“Then take it down,” Roy snorted and scooted back and dropped back to his stomach. “Look, do you want to do this or what?”

“Yes!” Ed snapped yanking the pillow from behind his head. “You’re so pushy,” he groused.

Roy let his forehead touch the bed between Ed’s legs and struggled to keep from laughing. Why had he thought that this would be anything remotely resembling a passionate encounter?

“You’re laughing at me,” Ed growled from somewhere above his head.

Roy picked his head up, struggled to maintain his features and made a smacking sound with his lips before speaking.

“No, I’m not, I’m just relieved that you seem to be taking this all in stride is all, shall we continue?” He raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

“Fine,” Ed said and settled back, lips threatening to pout.

And it was all so absurdly comfortable and adorable and it had _never_ been like this with anyone. Roy just wanted to thank any god who would listen that Ed was Ed.

 _Why was I even worried about this to begin with? It’s just Ed, it will always be Ed. Nothing will ever change him. Not me, not this, not the world. He’ll go right on being Ed until the day I die and I’m glad. Glad! Because if I can just have this in my life when I need it, nothing will ever be wrong._

Roy scooted forward. “I’m going to touch you,” he warned the boy, and he did so then, cupping Ed’s balls, listening with satisfaction to the intake of breath and the shifting of ass as he pressed them up and rubbed them generously. Ed’s cock sprang to attention in moments. That was flattery, plain and simple. He put the tip of his nose on Ed’s cock and glanced up at him when he heard the boy give a half straggled sound.

Ed’s eyes were saucers. Roy arched an eyebrow and Ed’s eyes darted to his.

“Something wrong?” Roy asked.

Ed seemed stricken silent, so keeping his eyes on the boy’s face Roy leaned his head back down, extended his tongue and gave a slow, warm, wet sweep of Ed’s cock, from base to tip. Ed’s eyebrows took on a life of their own, his heels danced in the sheets and he made a half throaty, breathless sound that made Roy’s own cock stir. The look he gave Roy was one of total astonishment. Roy grinned, turned his head slightly, and nipped at one tender inner thigh in reach. His reward was to be clunked soundly on the back of the head by an automail leg, which was accompanied by a shrilly declaration; “You bit me!”

Now it was Roy’s turn to rub is head. He gave Ed an aggravated look and snorted.

“You didn’t find that the least bit arousing?” Roy asked.

“What’s so arousing about getting bit?” Ed reached down to rub the offended place on his inner thigh.

“You really are a virgin, and I don’t mean just because you haven’t had sex,” Roy growled.

“That’s a really mean thing to say,” Ed hissed, “That’s like me believing all those Colonel Slut rumors.”

Roy clamped his mouth shut and started to push up on his hands but Ed made a startled sound and reached out to him, hand stopping just short of Roy’s face.

“No! I mean, what I’ve heard is this is suppose to feel good, and I mean it does, when you do what you were doing it does! But I’m not use to it and I wasn’t expecting you to bite me and I’ve had enough of that, you know. Being bitten, beaten, stabbed, torn apart….” Ed’s eyes widened and he clamped his own mouth shut, dropping his eyes.

 _You have done what no one else has ever done, Edward Elric. You have humbled me in my own bed. You make me want you, not like the way that sounds but really **want** you. Am I ever going to be able to let you out of my sight after this? You can’t do this to me Edward Elric, it’s not fair._

Roy did move up to his hands and Ed made a defeated sound that turned to a muffled surprised sound that melted into a soft half moan when the Colonel took his lips. Roy drew back after a moment, letting his lips stay pressed to Ed’s.

“No biting,” he said quietly.

“Ok,” Ed answered quietly back.

 _Don’t give me so much. I know you don’t give anything of yourself to anyone, so why me?_

 _So unfair Edward._

Roy’s lips left the boy’s and moved down his chest to his stomach, where he opened his mouth over the head of the boy’s erection and drew it in, tongue circling it once, probing the slit at the top, wiping away pre-cum and then moving downward, pressing the boy to the roof of his mouth and sucking. The accompanying sound Ed made was _heaven_.

He moved in slow bobs, his hands slid up Ed’s thighs and pressed them down. Ed’s hand found the back of his neck. Fingers scrabbled there desperately for a moment before tangling in short black hair. He heard things from the boy he’d never heard before, pleas and cries and appeals to a higher being he no longer believed in, and it was real and it was right and it was good. It would _feel_ good.

 _You have no idea, that even in this questionable act, you make me a better man. Funny how irony works, there are others that would damn me for this, but you are so far above what passes for humanity._

 _Edward, I hope you never come down._

Ed came with a cry and a hard jerk, throbbing in Roy’s mouth, sobbing and gasping for air. Roy continued to move on him for a few moments afterward, until he was sure Ed was thoroughly spent.

He moved up, pulled the small shaking body to his own, maneuvered themselves around until he could get Ed settled comfortably and covered him in the comforter. He leaned down to kiss him and the still panting, but more lucid Ed abruptly turned his head to the side.

“What is it?” Roy asked concerned.

“Maybe you should gargle or something,” Ed said, risking a glance at Roy’s face.

Well, Roy thought wryly, he and his left hand could use some alone time in the bathroom anyway.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

The open air market in Tazanga was a maze of sights and sounds, voices and smells and color and texture. It was also a crush of people, and Al vainly tried to keep his brother in view. Good thing Ed has a fondness for his bright red coat.

“What is it we’re looking for again?” Al called over the din, hoping to get Ed’s attention.

Ed stopped and turned back on Al’s direction.

“I don’t know,” Al’s elder brother shouted, “I guess I’ll know when I see it!” And Ed turned back to the stall in front of him, only to get swept up in a mini riptide of people moving the other way. Al made an exasperated sound and dove into the lot, clearing the way easily. No one wanted to get poked by a spike, and tall equaled intimidating in most people's book.

Ed was sputtering indignantly when Al reached into the crowd and plucked him out. He stood momentarily holding his brother aloft as people rippled around him like running water moving around a stone mid-stream.

Ed hung gracelessly in his hands like a dead fish and snorted.

The mission was complete. It was an uninteresting side venture to investigate some uninteresting claims about uninteresting merchants with uninteresting unsavory habits. Ed had complained bitterly the entire trip. The bastard Colonel was squandering their talents! The bastard Colonel was impeding their progress in returning their bodies to normal! The bastard Colonel was a bastard! Just in case Al missed that particular point.

Whenever Al tried to set Ed on his feet another stampede of pedestrians appeared. Ed, deciding he’d had enough of dangling in Al’s hands had started to squirm.

“Put me down!” Ed snapped, kicking his legs a bit.

“Where?” Al questioned, “I’ll just lose you again!”

Ed’s flailing became more pronounced.

“Calm down!” Al said and suddenly hoisted Ed up and brought him down on his shoulder.

“WATCH THE FRIGGIN’ SPIKE!” Ed shrieked.

“Quit all the damn wiggling and it will be fine!” Al retorted.

“I’m not wiggling, you’re trying to unman me!” Ed howled.

Al shrugged and gave Ed a toss.

Ed yelped and managed to land on his feet and turned to glare at his younger brother.

“Oh look,” Al said, “You _do_ have cat like reflexes.”

Ed shook his fist, then widened his eyes at another surge in the street populace and scurried out of the way.

Later as they both idled at the carriage stop, _(But not too close to each other, the whole spike incident still had Ed’s hackles up)_ Al made an observation.

“That was a lot of trouble for a fancy pen,” he said, “And for the Colonel who gets pens for free. Plus we could have gotten a fancy pen in East City.”

“It’s got flames on it,” Ed tossed off and shrugged.

“Why are you buying presents for the Colonel anyways? If you really wanted to give him something you could have just alchemized him something,” Al said. “That’s what you do for me.”

Ed rolled his head on his shoulders.

“Eh, but you’re my brother, that’s different,” he supplied.

“Oh really?” Al pondered, rocking on the balls of his feet and making his armor sound like a tin shutter flapping in a high wind, “I see, just your brother. So what does that make the Colonel?”

Ed twitched. He leaned forward and looked down the road.

“Stop rocking,” he said to Al, “It’s really annoying.”

Al stopped rocking but rolled his helmet in a parody of Ed’s own shoulder rolling. It sounded like a creaky car door.

Ed chewed the inside of his cheek.

Al clasped his hands behind his back and studied the noon day clouds.

“It makes him a bastard who’s gonna get a pen with flames on it!” Ed snarled.

“Well,” Al said, “As long as we got that settled.”

  
Back in East City the Elric brothers learned in their four day absence, that Falman had inadvertently made a joke. They were so eager to hear the joke, they doggedly followed the man to the mess hall and sat in rapt attention as he had the special of the day, which was meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and even went so far as to ask to come home with him that evening just in case he told the joke again. Riza informed them that while she appreciated their attempts to support Falman in his quest to become less of a tight ass, they really should just think about going back to their own dorm room that night and getting some much needed sleep. Ed attempted to make eye contact with the Colonel who had mysteriously been absent when they first returned. He was back at his desk that evening, but the he was doggedly plowing through a stack of paper with the determination of a small terrier worrying a rag. It might or might not have had anything to do with the fact the First Lieutenant’s gun holster was unbuckled, but as discretion was the better part of valor, the boys made their goodnights and returned home.

“Why didn’t you give the Colonel the pen when we saw him in the office tonight,” Al asked after the lights were out.

“I didn’t think about it,” his elder brother’s voice replied from the other side of the room.

“But you were worrying it in your pocket the whole time we were in his office.” Al pointed out.

Al waited patiently, and when Ed finally made a fake snore, he let it go.

The next day, Al dragged Ed out of bed at around noon and hustled him into a shower. He then toweled Ed’s hair dry and shoved him back into the room proper. He wrestled the familiar black tank top over Ed’s head, held Ed’s boxers and then pants for Ed to step into, and threaded his belt through the loops and buckled it. He left Ed staring blankly at this boots while Al made breakfast, then he dragged Ed over to the breakfast table and repeatedly shoved toast in his face until Ed’s FOOD!GIMME reflex kicked in and he began to eat.

They were out the door and halfway down the walk before Al noticed that Ed had forgotten to put his boots on, and went back to retrieve them after propping Ed against the side of the building. When he got the boots on the older boy, he steered him toward the direction of the main building, hauled him up the steps to the administrative floor and down to the familiar double-doored office. When he managed to get Ed inside after smacking him once against the door frame, he looked around frantically until his glowing eyes lit on Havoc sitting at the large table near in the center of the room.

“Did you make coffee?” Al asked, sounding breathless even though it wasn’t possible.

Havoc nodded and waved his hand toward the small stand where the pot sat.

“I hate it when we run out,” Al said and dragged Ed over to empty the contents of the pot down his throat.

  
Ed was there, sitting at the end of the table writing his report. To his right was Havoc, also writing something. It wasn’t a report, but whatever it was, Havoc had to write it. Across from Havoc sat Breda, looking about as alert as he usually did (which wasn’t very), and Falman, who was sitting ramrod straight at the very end of the table like a matronly woman watching over a group of errant school children.

Ed was less than five feet away and Roy couldn’t kiss him.

Roy snorted and dropped his gaze back to the work on his desk. Well it was best just to not look at him then. Not looking at Ed meant that he could put out of his mind not kissing Ed. Only when the kissing thought fled, the sex thoughts barged in and made themselves at home. Roy put his elbow up on the desk and his cheek in his palm and gritted is teeth.

Four encounters. Precisely four. Two weeks between the first and second, one day between the third and fourth. Then another mission that had lasted four days, and Roy was going to lose his freaking mind. Roy’s mind strayed inadvertently into the realm of not-safe-for-work thoughts with dazzling ease, replaying the last encounter in lust -embellished frustration-vision before his work dulled eyes. Ed had been the epitome of relaxed charm, flopping back onto the bed and spreading his legs and grinning up at him, wiggling his eyebrows and making kissy faces with his lips, and Roy had tossed all sane thought to the wind and climbed on. Once he’d made that small body buck and shudder and pant? He was resigned once again to the bathroom with some hand lotion that smelled like sugar cookies and a hand towel.

Another lesson was definitely in order. The sooner the better, for Edward Elric needed to learn that although it might not be better to give rather than receive, a sexually frustrated Colonel was no laughing matter.

He managed to get Ed alone when the lunch stampede ensued and gave the boy a smile.

“Coming over tonight?” Roy asked, resisting the urge to touch golden bangs.

“I don’t know,” Ed confided lowly, “I think Al’s getting suspicious.”

 _Al? Who was Al? OH, Al!_ Roy rubbed his chin.

“He won’t buy another library excuse,” Roy asked, hoping desperation wasn’t evident in his voice.

“I haven’t even read the books I checked out three weeks ago,” Ed said, “He’s not slow you know, I’m not even coming home with any notes.”

Roy straightened up and fixed Ed with a look.

“You have to work late,” Roy said seriously.

“Work late? But I just got back from a mission and I’ll finish my report after lunch!” Ed protested.

“I’m sorry FullMetal, there is nothing I can do about it, you’re just going to have to work late and that’s final.” Roy said with a sad shake of his head.

“Well damn,” Ed said, “I hope they have fried chicken on the menu for lunch.”

“You’ll need your strength,” Roy assured him, “So why don’t you go check on that now.”

  
Ed came running into the dorm room sometime after the work day had ended and grabbed the pen box and his long red coat.

“Working late Al! Don’t wait up, see you later, make it up to you, promise!” And he rushed back out the door.

“Yeah,” Al said to the door after his brother had fled, “Give him a kiss for me while you’re at it.” Al shook his head. All the books ever written about puberty and hormones in the world were never gonna explain this one. And Al was pretty sure by now he’d read them all.

Roy carefully schooled his expression before he answered the pounding on his door. After all it wouldn’t do to answer the door looking like a predator, no matter what he felt like at the moment. Ed came strolling in looking pleased with himself, shedding his red outer coat and waving it at the mirrored coat hook before dropping it on the floor. Roy picked it up and hung it on the hook before indulgently followed the grinning teen into the living room. Ed had fished something out of his pockets and had it in his hands behind his back.

“You are terrible at trying to be sneaky,” Roy said with a smirk.

Ed scowled then thrust a small narrow white box at him.

“Here,” he said, lifting his nose in the air.

Roy accepted the box, looked at it.

“Another house thing?” Roy asked.

Ed reached forward with one white gloved finger and gave the box in Roy’s hand a tap.

“Nope,” he said with a grin, “This one is a present.”

“A present?” Roy said, “For me?”

“No for the man who really lives here, yes for you, I mean….that is…you’re my boyfriend.” Ed finished out with a mumble.

Roy’s eyebrows tried to climb into his hair line and he wasn’t able to stop the smile that crawled across his face.

“I’m your boyfriend?” he asked the now blushing teenager, leaning forward just a bit.

Ed’s blush went truly crimson and his hands shot up to cover his face.

“Shut up!” he yelled muffled and Roy sincerely tried not to laugh.

 _If this managed to get anymore enchanting I think I’d curl up and die of sugar shock._

 _His boyfriend! He wants me to be his boyfriend! He’s wooing me with gifts! I’m being courted. He is trying in that Edward Elric way of his to take control of the situation. I want to fuck him on the carpet right here and now._

 _But no, tonight we’re going to do that in a bed._

“I stopped and got you pasta from Brio’s,” Roy said as he opened the box.

Ed uncovered his face.

“Meat sauce?” the boy asked.

Roy nodded lifting the heavy writing pen from the tissue paper. It was silver and had what looked like shooting flames licking up its side. Roy smiled.

“With meat sauce and bread,” Roy added.

“Great! I’m starved, let’s eat,” Ed started for the kitchen but Roy caught his arm. Ed looked up at him, then blinked and stretched up to meet Roy’s descending lips.

When Roy pulled back he said: “Thank you for the pen, it’s very nice. And Hawkeye thanks you for the pen, I’ll be able to sign my fingers to the bone.”

“Well you know how it is,” Ed said, leaning hopefully toward the kitchen, “Anything for the First Lieutenant.”

Roy laughed and draped his arm over Ed’s shoulders and let the boy lead him into the kitchen.

“I do know, “ Roy said, “ I do know, indeed.”

Roy retrieved a bowl from the ice box before following Ed down the hall toward the bedroom. The got entangled briefly right outside the bedroom door, and Roy almost fancied he saw a butt shaped indention in the wall after the flushed blonde had squirmed away and escaped to the bed. Roy waltzed in and set the bowl on the bedside table and took a few moments to watch Ed strip himself and throw himself in the middle of the bed. As Roy began to unbutton his shirt, Ed squirmed around in the sheets, threw his arms above his head and sighed. He swung his golden gaze to the older alchemist and watched him undress. Ed was really a fast learner and nothing enticed Roy to make a production of a thing than Edward’s eyes on him.

“Isn’t it funny,” Ed suddenly asked, “That we’re like this now?”

“Like what?” Roy questioned, bending to pull of his shoes.

“You know,” Ed scissored his legs a couple of times, “Like this, naked in a bed together, doing stuff.”

“Stuff,” Roy repeated unbuttoning his slacks.

“Yeah, stuff,” Ed challenged, “Like all that stuff you do with your hands and mouth, that stuff.”

“You’re so eloquent,” Roy shimmied out of his briefs, “Sometimes you make me breathless.”

“Shut up,” Ed said good-naturedly, and noticing the bowl. “What’s that?”

“That is incentive for you my darling pupil, tonight’s lesson is ‘We give as good as we get’.” Roy sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over to finger the blonde bangs.

“What kind of incentive,” Ed asked, smiling.

Roy leaned over and picked up the bowl, removed the top and then licked it, appreciating how Ed’s eyes moved from Roy’s eyes to his tongue. Roy then tossed the lid of the bowl back on the bedside table and tilted it so Ed could see into it.

“The chocolate kind,” Roy said.

“Chocolate?” Ed leaned up on his elbows for a closer look.

“We’re going to have pudding sex,” Roy informed him.

Golden eyebrows furrowed.

“Pudding sex,” Ed looked askance.

“I see you need a practical demonstration.” Roy dipped one finger into the bowl and stuck it in Ed’s navel.

Ed gaped then snorted.

“It’s cold!” the teen huffed, “and now I’ll get sticky.”

Roy rolled his eyes, put a hand on Ed’s chest, pushed him onto his back again, leaned over and lapped the pudding out of Ed’s navel with his tongue.

Ed squeaked and shivered and squirmed. Roy added more pudding and Ed shook and then he laughed.

 _There is nothing more intoxicating than that sound._

It only encouraged Roy to get several fingers into the pudding and smear it on Ed’s stomach. The chorus of grunts, giggles, half shrieks and pure genuine laughter filled every corner of the bedroom. Ed laughed with his entire body. Cheeks flushed, eyes screwed shut, mouth open. He tried to escape only to be drug back by his ankle. He pushed on Roy’s head with his flesh hand, he tried to roll over only to be thwarted when Roy planted a knee between his legs, he finally pleaded for mercy between hoarse gasps and flailing limbs, and panted gratefully when Roy pulled back.

 _You are beautiful._

Ed looked up at him with tear damped eyes and tried to scowl, it was not very effective.

“Now,” Roy said, moving to lie on his side beside Ed, “It’s your turn.”

And he offered Ed the bowl.

  
Roy Mustang gasped and tried desperately to think of other things. Ice water, ugly people, paperwork. Ed’s tongue was working a warm, wet path from his right nipple to his navel. He stopped and pulled up, applied more pudding down the line of Roy’s stomach and went back to work. Roy was so erect it _hurt._ Ed’s tongue dipped into his navel and Roy, not given to being ticklish, groaned loudly. Ed’s pudding smeared face bobbed up to look at him.

“Don’t stop,” Roy managed to somehow force out of his mouth, which was a minor miracle.

 _I’ll never walk again._

But Ed never went any further than his belly button. In fact, he stubbornly lingered there. Soon Roy was pounding his head on the bed, but that didn’t make Ed move. Making frantic scrabbling motions in the sheets with his fingers didn’t make Ed move either.  
Only marked desperation would work now.

Roy tilted his head back and took a deep breath.

“Have all my teachings been in vain?” He appealed very loudly to the ceiling. He felt Ed go still.

“I’ve tried to be a good teacher,” Roy forged ahead, “I know that I might not be the most patient man on this planet, but I was sure my pupil, a supposed _prodigy_ would learn by example.” Roy slung an arm across his eyes, melodramatic perhaps, but the visual should be effective.

There was a too long period of time where silence reigned supreme, and no part of Edward was touching him.

Then finally, Ed spoke.

“So, I take it…you want me to use my mouth?” he said.

“That is the general idea,” Roy gritted out.

“Ok, well….” And there were some noises of Ed shifting around. But still no action seemed forthcoming.

“What’s the hold up?” Roy asked.

“Well, I’m working out logistics,” Ed said neutrally.

“There is nothing to work out Ed,” Roy said struggling to keep his tone in check. Don’t make Ed defensive, not now. God above, not now. A defensive Ed would argue a point until next year.

More silence.

“Use the pudding Ed,” Roy grated out.

“Right, the pudding,” Ed said.

There was a brief tentative touch on Roy’s sorely neglected erection causing both it and Roy to jerk. The touch fled.

“Oh my god now what?!” Roy said, voice getting strained.

“It jumped,” Ed said.

Roy slammed his hands down on the bed and painfully hauled himself into a sitting position. Ed leaned back and the bowl was jerked from his grasp. Roy used his fingers to get a generous amount of pudding and smear it on the body part in question, _and oh my god the temptation to just do it himself was so strong_ , then thrust the bowl back and Ed and slammed himself back down on the bed.

“No need to get so defensive,” Ed said, “ I was going to do it.”

“When, tomorrow?” Roy returned.

Roy felt Ed’s hand on his thigh. He heard Ed take a deep breath.

And then Ed _licked._

Roy saw fireworks, he saw goddamn fireworks. His whole body contracted to one madly throbbing point between his legs and took all his rational with it, and it wasn’t just a lick, Ed smacked his damn lips.

 _Heaven? Hell? Which is it? I don’t know anymore. Help. Somebody help. Somebody come in here and make Ed lick me again._

But Ed didn’t need any help, because Ed licked him again. Every nerve in Roy’s body sent a package via express delivery to his brain demanding the most outrageous of things. He desperately tried to shove his fingers into the mattress as his vision swam. Then there were fingers, fingers around his cock, and then there was something else closing around the head.

 _Ok, must be heaven._

Ed gave one tentative suck. Roy gave one throaty moan. Encouraged, Ed sucked again and again, sliding mostly off the bed, feet on the floor between Roy’s legs and leaning over him sucking slowly and with great uncertainty, but seeming to get the hang of it all the same. But he was taking his time. The bowl of pudding sat abandoned on the bed by Roy’s side, and Ed thinking he had all the time in the world, finally scratched fingers through the course black hair in the junction of Roy’s thighs and took another suck.

 _No I was wrong, this is hell._

“Ed,” Roy said raggedly, panting, “Go faster.”

“Umm?” Ed said with his mouth full.

“Faster,” Roy was well aware of the plea in his voice.

Ed paused as if to consider the request. But before Roy could wail a protest he started up again, moving faster in his sucking, but not really going any further than just the head. Roy made a strangled noise.

 _BRAT!_

“Ed…more, you can do more…ED, come on!” Roy bit his lower lip. Control, control, control! Ed’s first blow job after all, learning curve, goddamn PRODIGY, control!

But Roy was only flesh, and flesh was weak.

He bucked.

Things after that became a blur of motion.

Ed suddenly had something large forced too far into his throat, his eyes got huge, he gagged and he reflexively _bit down_.

Roy’s own eyes got wide and a sound he’d never heard before in his life tore its way free of his throat. He twisted savagely to the side, pulling himself free of Ed, thus allowing Ed to breathe, and curled up into such a small fetal ball he could have fit back into his mother’s womb. He hardly heard the gasping and wretching going on beside the bed because his own brain was reeling from the thousands of packages one particular portion of his anatomy had sent ultra express courier right to the gray matter’s attention. He did somehow dully recognize the running beats of one soft thud and one hard thud across the wood floor of the bedroom and onto the tile floor of the bathroom. After that, he gave into his brain’s attempts to restore order and calm and focused on just _breathing_ for a bit.

He didn’t know how long it was until his stomach muscles ceased the lock down panic protocol and allowed him to uncurl. He sat up slowly and carefully and then parted his legs and had a look. The first thought in his mind, naturally, was to relieve Edward Elric of every tooth in his goddamn head. The second thought to cross his mind was _where was Edward Elric so he could relieve him of every tooth in his goddamn head?_

The bathroom. Ed hadn’t come out of the bathroom yet. Roy slid to the edge of the bed, put his feet on the floor and stood slowly. So far, so good. The first step wasn’t painful, neither was the second. Ok so maybe not _every_ goddamn tooth. Roy padded over to the bathroom door and looked in, jaw set.

Ed was sitting on the toilet with a towel over his lap, his head down and blonde hair obscuring his features. Other than that, the bathroom seemed to be normal, so Roy walked in slowly over to where Ed sat quietly. What did one say to his lover when said lover tried to emasculate them? Roy cleared his throat, but Ed beat him to it.

“I bit you,” Edward said in a voice so unlike Edward, that for a moment Roy thought he was hearing voices.

“I bit you after I asked you not to bite me,” Edward continued, something painful and raw around the edges of his words. Roy worked his jaw, trying to figure out what to say.

“It’s one thing to ask someone not to do something,” Ed forged on, voice picking up a little in the silence, “But then to do it yourself, that’s not right.” Ed slowly lifted his face to Roy’s, pudding smears still over his cheeks and chin. “I’m sorry,” Ed said, “Are you hurt?”

Roy slowly lowered himself to his knees on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, searching Ed’s eyes with his own dark ones.

“I’m alright Ed,” he said, “It was an accident and partly my fault anyway.”

“I’m a total fuck-up,” Ed shifted his gaze from Roy’s eyes to his chin, “I can’t seem to get anything right. All you were asking me to do was to make you feel good like you make me feel good, and I couldn’t even do that. It seems to be my lot in life to mess the good things up.”

“Stop it,” Roy said, placing his hands to either side of Ed’s towel covered thighs, “Just stop it right now. This isn’t worth that. Don’t go comparing this to the important things in your life that you are striving to put right. The effort alone is enough. This is nothing. This isn’t unfixable. Ed, look at me.”

Ed tracked his eyes back up to Roy’s own.

Roy smiled.

“Up until you bit me,” Roy said, “it was great.” And he leaned forward a little, to almost touch noses.

Unbidden, the corner’s of Ed’s mouth turn up just a little.

 _Congratulations Edward Elric. You got me on my knees._

  
They lay side by side in comfortable silence for a while. The Roy slid his arm under Ed’s shoulders and rolled him against his side. Ed’s automail arm tucked beneath him, and his flesh arm moved to lie over Roy’s chest.

“When do you think you’ll let me try again,” Ed asked, drawing idle circles on Roy’s flesh with one finger.

“Initially, never,” Roy said, “But upon reconsideration we can try again, later of course. I have to talk my dick into not being scared of you.”

Ed groaned and snickered.

“You have a really twisted sense of humor,” Ed said, “Talking about it like it has a mind of its own.”

Roy laughed.

“You’ll get there Ed, trust me. You’ll get there.”  
  



	4. Chapter 4

“My arm is getting tired,” the blonde whined and snuffled and groaned like it was the worst thing in the world.

The Colonel wet his lips, struggled for breath and spoke.

“Almost there, don’t stop, don’t slow down...almost, almost…”

“Why is it taking so long? I don’t take this long,” the boy’s voice was petulant, his grip was alternately too tight and too loose, his rhythm was atrocious. Learning curve, just remember learning curve.

“Just…it’s almost…don’t stop…”

 _Ah god please just shut up._

“You bastard, I’m sleepy. Couldn’t we have done this in the morning?” Then a pause and a startled, “Ah!” from the boy.

Roy shuddered out a breath and felt his back make contact with the bed again, he didn’t open his eyes. He knew Ed was probably wiping his hand on the sheets.

All the complaining, all the whining.

And Heaven still came.

 _Heaven came._

Morning. Roy’s boot heels clicked down the corridor as he stalked toward his office. He was actually in a fine mood, but it wouldn’t do any good to let anyone know that. He strode in, all confidence in a uniform, nose in air and hung his coat on the stand just behind and to the left of his desk. Because this routine was engraved so well into his memory from all the mornings previous to this one, he closed his eyes as he laid his hand on the high back of his leather desk chair and gave it a pull. Not too far out, but just enough so he could slip into it with a comfortable space between the edge of his desk and his stomach. He then put his elbows on the desk, laced his fingers, rested his chin on his hands and opened his eyes.

One awkward hand job was not a new perspective on life. But it did cause one hell of an internal conversation.

 _He complained and whined the entire time. He’s a kid, kids are selfish. I thought he was going to yank it off at one point. He acted like my cum was some sort of acid that could eat through his automail. I hope I remembered to leave Mrs. Cates a note to put new linens on the bed… and he elbowed me in his sleep all night._

 _But he did it._

Roy closed his eyes again.

 _I got to come!_

“Looks like you’re in a good mood with that smirk on your face,” a voice said from about 3 feet in front of him, the width of his desk.

Roy opened his eyes and regarded Havoc with an arch of the eyebrow.

“What happened to your lip?” Havoc asked, chewing on a tooth pick. Roy had since banned the man from chewing cigarettes. After they’d been chewed a while they tended to disintegrate and Havoc would leave little chewed tobacco trails. Sure, you could use them to find him, but it would also dirty the floors and the military couldn’t have that.

His lip? Oh that.

Roy absently reached up to finger a small cut on his upper lip. He couldn’t very well say _”After I made Ed come for the second time, he was trying to be nice and rub the back of his automail hand over my face, but one of his artificial joints snagged my lip. You should have seen the poor kid; I thought he was going to cry. I had to kiss him a lot to make him feel better.”_ No he couldn’t say that. So instead: “I cut it shaving.”

“Huh,” was all Havoc said to that. He then fished a slip of paper out of his uniform jacket pocket and proffered it to the Colonel. “You flew out of here the other night like your ass was on fire, so I forgot to give you this.”

 _Well yes, of course I flew. Ed said he was coming over and come hell or hot water I was going to get some satisfaction. My god man, I know my priorities!_

Roy reached out and snagged the slip, his mind instantly rewinding to a halting hand job and the look of bemusement on a young alchemist’s face after he finally opened his eyes. It took him a moment to puzzle out that the black squiggles on the slip of paper was a name; Penelope, and a phone number. Penelope? Penelope? Ah yes, 5’2, smelled like cinnamon, kissed like a humming bird and giggled like a cow bell. Penelope.

 _Ed kisses better than she does and Ed can’t kiss._

“Here,” Roy said, offering the paper back. “Why don’t you keep this one?”

Havoc let the toothpick hang precariously off his bottom lip. He didn’t even notice it fall, strike the edge of the Colonel’s desk and continue on its saliva-slogged way to the floor. Instead he struck like a cobra, snatching the slip and cramming it back into his uniform pocket. Then he snapped the sharpest salute he could manage and noticing the Colonel had returned to his former preoccupied smirk, he made good his escape before the Colonel could change his mind.

  
His luck had just turned a back flip. The Colonel was giving _him_ women? He hastened down the hall toward the break room, eager to share his new found wealth with one of his fellow lovelorn. Cain Fuery had just returned from an assignment that had kept him in Central for the last two weeks. Havoc was glad to have such an incredible bit of news to share with his friend. He found Fuery, nose stuck in one of those drug store dime novels, a half eaten sandwich dangling from his mouth and a finger absently tapping the nose piece of his glasses every few moments. It must be a really good bit for Cain to continually make sure his glasses weren’t slipping Havoc thought as he plopped in the seat opposite the younger man. Havoc made a mental note to borrow the book later.

“Cain, listen to this!” Havoc waited and when Cain didn’t respond, he said, “You’re never going to believe it!” Still Cain found whatever typewritten horror _(or more likely porn)_ gracing the pages of his book more interesting than whatever it was making Havoc jiggle in his chair like a five year old.

“CAIN,” Havoc complained loudly, then reached up and snagged the top of the book and pushed it toward the table. Cain’s hand lowered, but his eyes followed, and his finger jammed against the nose piece of his glasses the lower his gaze traveled, because looking down really made them slip.

“What is it?” Cain said annoyed when Havoc finally slapped his hand over the opened paperback flat on the table.

“The sky is falling, you ninny, pay attention,” Havoc said, then fished out the crumbled paper and waved it under his nose.

Cain grunted, took a bite of his sandwich and took the paper from Havoc’s fingers. He glanced at it, shrugged and handed it back.

“I know it’s important that you get dates,” Cain said, “It makes life with you a lot more bearable, but aren’t you a little old to be running around telling this to anyone who will listen? Really Jean, it makes you come off as,” and he leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially, “pathetic.”

Havoc blinked and snorted, then scowled.

“Some friend you are,” He growled, “and here I thought you’d enjoy a bit of interoffice gossip.”

“Gossip?” Cain straightened up, gave his glasses a tap.

“The Colonel is handing out women,” Havoc said with a half smirk as he slipped his Flame Alchemist-given woman’s number back into his pocket.

Cain gaped. “For free?” he boggled.

It was at that moment Breda, along with a bowl of cold chili, took up residence at the other end of the table.

“What’s free?” Breda asked.

“The Colonel’s women, “ Cain said, expression altering between bliss and disbelief.

“No, no, “ Havoc said, waving his hands. “That’s not it.”

Breda looked between them, then dipped his spoon into the bowl and stuck cold chili in his mouth.

“Which is it?” he said around the spoon.

“Some woman left a message for the Colonel the other night, but when I tried to give it to him he told me to keep it,” Havoc said. “The Colonel always dates the best looking girls around, so she’s got to be a real looker.”

“He offered her up,” Cain said in a dazed voice, “Like on a silver platter. I have to find a way to hang out near the Colonel today.”

Breda sucked the spoon clean, pulled it out of his mouth and used it to aid in his articulation.

“Let me get this straight, some broad called the Colonel and left her number and he gave you free reign to hit on her?” the heavy set red head asked skeptically.

Havoc preened.

“Well it’s obvious he is appreciative of all my hard work and dedication,” he said.

Breda snorted a laugh.

“I don’t believe it,” Breda said. “Why would the Colonel be giving you his dates?”

Falman slipped to the table then and sat straight backed and grim to Havoc’s right. He had his usual crustless, neatly proportioned sandwich and a cup of coffee with just enough room left in it for a prudent amount of creamer.

“It is some cause for alarm,” Falman said, “That the Colonel hasn’t been dating, although the First Lieutenant doesn’t seem upset.”

“Hasn’t been dating?” Breda asked.

“What?” Cain said, “I haven’t heard about this, when has this been going on?”

“In your absence Cain, it is markedly noticeable that he stays late, completes his work and rushes home.” Falman said.

“How do you know he goes home after work?” Havoc questioned.

“Because of requisitions,” Falman said, “I file all the ones for the higher ups,” He continued as if this was something to be proud of, “And Colonel Mustang hasn’t requested a driver in weeks. He would never go on a date without a driver; it’s all a matter of image.”

A chorus of ‘hmmms’ sounded around the table.

“Come to think of it,” Havoc said slowly, rubbing his chin, he hasn’t been bragging at all lately, either.”

There was another few moments of hmmms and ummms and silence.

“Maybe he’s sick,” Breda said suddenly, “He sick and he doesn’t want us to know!”

Havoc barked a laugh.

“He always lets us know when he’s sick! It’s his surefire way of getting to leave the office early,” the blonde Second Lieutenant chuckled.

“But you said he’s working and getting his work done?” Breda pressed, “Like he doesn’t want to leave anything unfinished? I tell you maybe he’s sick!”

Cain looked stricken.

“And he’s really a noble man, even though he doesn’t like to show it!” he cried.

Havoc rolled his eyes, Cain could live to be 100 and never outgrow the chronic case of hero worship he had for Mustang.

“Oh come on,” Havoc said, “except for this one little weirdness, he’s acting completely normal. So he was a little preoccupied this morning, so what?”

“Does he have any symptoms of illness?” Falman asked as Cain nervously worried the corner of his forgotten paperback.

Breda’s brows furrowed and he looked at the ceiling, which meant he was trying to think without visual distractions like other people to get in the way.

“No, no,” Havoc said, “He looks fine. He cut his lip while shaving, but other than that he looks fine.”

“His lip?” Cain said, glancing over at Havoc.

“Yeah,” Havoc said, raising a finger to the edge of his upper lip, “about right here. Seems an odd place for a razor cut though.”

Cain’s brain suddenly screeched to a halt, changed gears and tore off in another direction.

“You don’t cut yourself shaving the very top of your lip,” Cain said, eyes widening, “You don’t even shave right there. That is where you get mouth sores.”

“Mouth sores?” Havoc said.

Falman’s hand paused in it’s precise and effective trajectory from plate to mouth.

“Like cold sores?” His clipped tones inquired.

“Cold sores,” Cain said faintly, then taking a deep breath and setting his jaw. “When I was in Central, they had a much bigger break room than this one,” the youngest among them said.

“Yeah, so?” Havoc said, leaning to rest his elbows on the table. Breda was still staring at the ceiling, Havoc wondered if perhaps he’d been hypnotized by the random patterns in the ceiling tiles again.

“So,” said Cain, “Let me finish. They have all these posters hung up on the walls. You know the ones, ‘Loose lips sink ships’, ‘The Amestris army needs you’, that sort of thing.”

“We have those too,” Havoc said, “They are all rolled up in the secretarial supply closet downstairs.”

“Right, quit interrupting,” Cain continued, “Well they have this one about all the disease you can get, you know, abroad.”

Falman slowly lowered his sandwich back to the plate.

“I remember seeing those posters when we were stationed there,” the silver haired man replied.

“You mean you actually read them?” Havoc said grinning.

“It’s a good thing I did!” Cain defended, “Because it talked about one particular disease you could get with…foreign women.” Cain chewed his lip.  
Breda has somehow found his way back into the conversation by this time.

“What was it?” he said, small eyes riveted to Cain.

“Well if you put together all the factors,” Cain said nervously, “The Colonel wanting to rush home, the fact he’s stopped dating, the sore on his lip… I mean all those things together,” Cain fidgeted, “Well it could be that he can’t date women at the moment because he might have one of those diseases,” he finished on a mumble.

Falman made a tiny breathless sound, almost inaudible, that the others knew was an exclamation of massive proportions.

In the scandalous fog that shrouded their heads, no one was quite sure afterwards who had uttered the damning line.

The Colonel… _has VD._

  
The Colonel was busily contemplating a silver pen etched in flame lying on his mahogany desk.

 _It wasn’t horrible, and now that I know he can do it I shouldn’t have to be concerned that he won’t do it._

The pen, like the cheap tourist trinket it was, had stopped working the second day Roy had brought it to work. He turned it out to pasture as an interesting conversation piece to languish for the rest of its days on the top of his desk right next to the tiny bronze cannon that had once doubled as a novelty lighter.

The office was empty, it must be lunch time. The Colonel stood and stretched, pushing back his chair just enough to let him slide out from behind his desk, and strode from the office, shoving his hands into his pockets.

 _He was really very cute about the whole thing, not rushing to wash his hands right away even though I know he was dying to._

 _And those mock attempts that he’s too macho to cuddle._

Roy couldn’t help the small, pleased smile on his lips as he made his way down the hall toward the stairs. One of the pretty young things from the secretary pool turned the corner coming down the hall toward him. She glanced up at him, eyes widening, cheeks coloring and eyes dropping immediately as she hurried past.

 _Well, I must be looking extra fine today, they can’t even look at me without blushing. Ed has a cute blush, I love how it starts on his nose and then just spreads like an ink stain._

Roy trotted down the steps and turned right, to head toward the mess hall.

He walked in whistling, minds eye clouding with the vision of a panting teenager wiggling in the pillows and making all sorts of enticing pleading noises. He didn’t usually go into the mess hall himself, but since he seemed to be lackey-less this afternoon, and stretching his legs never hurt, he figured he could get his own lunch. Besides, walking helped him think and waiting in line ever more so. He took his place at the end of the line, glancing once at the two soldiers there who looked back at him for a moment before turning around to stare straight ahead.

 _Taking notes obviously._

Roy adjusted his collar a bit.

 _It’s not easy to look this good, and I am a Colonel after all, an example to the enlisted man. Polish, poise and confidence are the keys of the day. If only Ed’s confidence in the bedroom was such an unstoppable force as it is outside the bedroom… but then again that might also be deadly. In this way I can mold him to be a superior lover. I should be showered in praise by his future wife, yes, she should build a shrine to me._

The two soldiers in front of him suddenly moved out of line, gave him a wide birth and stood a few feet away, forming a new back of the line. Roy puzzled over that for a moment, looking back at them and moving forward. There was a small gasp. Gina, head of accounting, stared at him from the depth of her wire frame glasses and scurried out of his way. Roy watched her retreat to the new back of the line as well.

 _Is it Colonel appreciation day already? It’s come early this year._

In this way, Roy advanced fairly steadily to the front of the line.

 _Oh come on, for pete’s sake, I don’t look that good today. Do I?_

The line attendant stared at him like a small animal caught in a trap.

“Well I hope your expression is no reflection of today’s selection,” Roy joked smoothly.

“Nu…no sir, Colonel sir,” the man stuttered.

 _Really, these people in the East should be use to me by now. I know I’m a celebrity, but the fervor should have died down. I mean, I know it’s hard to be in my presence and not get tongue tied, but still…_

“Alright then, I’ll have the fish,” Roy said, “and whatever you think goes best with it, but not greens,” Roy decided that if he was really having such an exceptionally good image day, that he shouldn’t indulge in something that had the potential to ruin it. Like getting gas.

Ed stood in the doorway of the big office. It was completely empty.

“Is today a vacation day and no one remembered to tell me?” he quizzed the empty air.

Alphonse had stopped in the break room, saying someone had left a book lying on the table and that he was going to sit in there and read while Ed got his briefing from the Colonel.

As Ed stood puzzling over the lack of habitation of what was normally the office tomfoolery hub of the building, Havoc appeared at the far end of the hall and beckoned to him.

Ed shrugged and walked down to Havoc and yelped when the man grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into what was an auxiliary office used for extra filing cabinets. He blinked to see Fuery, Breda and Falman also crowed in the small room.

“What is this?” Ed asked, “Oh wait, is it Riza’s birthday or something? Are we all hiding to jump out and yell surprise? Because let me tell you right now, I don’t think it’s a good idea to startle her or anything. Not with everything she packs.”

“That’s not it,” Havoc said, shutting the door again.

“Something’s happened,” Fuery said, shifting, “Something you need to know about. It concerns the Colonel.”

“You have day to day dealings with him when you’re not on a mission,” Falman said. Ed had to look around a bit because Falman was standing so straight he blended in with the filing cabinets.

 _What the hell…oh no, Oh NO! They can’t possibly KNOW!_

“Just because I deal with him everyday doesn’t mean anything!” The blonde alchemist suddenly yelled, “You all deal with him everyday too! More than me! You don’t go on missions!”

The sudden silence and four sets of curious eyes made Ed snap his mouth shut.

“Ok, let’s move past that,” Fuery said, “whatever that was. Listen Ed, something is really wrong here. The Colonel has stopped dating.”

 _And a damn good thing he has too, otherwise I’d kill him._

Breda, unable to keep _any_ sort of surprise, suddenly blurted out “The Colonel has VD!” and everyone in the room gasped again like it was a new revelation.

Ed on the other hand, went white as a sheet.

“So you see why it was that we figured we had to let you know,” Havoc said.

“Don’t worry,” Fuery tried to be reassuring, “He’ll be alright. We just have to convince him to see a doctor.”

“Please don’t take his nefarious behavior as an example of how military personnel should behave,” Falman supplied helpfully.

“Hey Boss, are you breathing?” Breda asked.

Ed wasn’t aware that he had covered his mouth with his hands, or that he had backed himself into one of the filing cabinets.

Havoc and Fuery looked at each other.

“It’s ok Ed, we know you make a show of not liking the man, but really, he’ll be alright, you don’t have to take it so hard,” Havoc said.

“We’re gonna call Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and get him to talk to the Colonel,” Fuery said.

“It’s disgraceful we should be brought to this,” Falman’s flat tones sounded from where he had once again blended into the filing cabinets.

“I think the boss is going to faint,” Breda said.

 _OHMYGODGOINGTOKILLHIMHAVETOBOILMYMOUTHOUT!_

And with that, Ed fled.

  
Havoc leaned out the door and watched the FullMetal Alchemist barrel down the hall, turn the corner and vanish.

Fuery also leaned out the door and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“You know what it is,” Havoc said.

“What?” Fuery asked.

“Ed is a hick. You know, he comes from that place Rizzy-something,” Havoc stepped out into the hall. “Things like this don’t happen in places like that. It’s a shock.”

“Poor Ed,” Cain said in sympathy, “Not only is he dealing with the things he already has to deal with, but he has culture shock as well.”

“Better he learn these things now while he is young,” Falman said, “so he can avoid such reprehensible behavior when he’s older.”

“He really is a hick,” Breda chuckled, “Did you see the look on his _face?_ You’d think he was sleeping with the Colonel!”

Havoc and Fuery laughed, Falman snorted, and they all filed out and went back to the big office.

  
Alphonse glanced up from the paperback of questionable nature when his brother thundered past the break room door looking like Major Armstrong had just declared today was ‘Hug FullMetal Alchemist’ day.

He stood, taking the paperback with him, and leaned out the door to watch his brother round the corner and disappear. About this time he heard some laughter from the other end of the hall and turned to watch the procession of the usual suspects walking down the hall toward the Colonel’s office. Now what? He really hated it when they teased Ed. It made Ed testy for days.

Falman stopped in the hall and put his hands on his hips.

“Alphonse Elric what are you doing in the break room?” he asked, looking stern, which being his normal expression, didn’t have much of an impact.

“I’m reading,” Al said, “What did you guys say to Ed to make him run off down the hall like that?” Really, and they were supposed to be adults.

“Never mind that for a moment, are you the person taking things from the honor box?” the corner of Falman’s mouth twitched, “In case you weren’t aware of it, ‘honor box’ doesn’t mean free, it means you still have to pay.”

“What?” Al asked incensed, “You know I don’t eat!”

“Well I would hope Edward wasn’t talking you into doing something you shouldn’t,” Falman continued on, “With his salary he should be able to buy all the snacks he desires instead of having his younger brother commit larceny.”

Al snorted. “I tell you what, I’m going back to reading, when you have something bordering on sanity to say, come and see me.” Al ducked back into the break room.

Fuery caught the end of the exchange and hurried past Falman.

“Al,” the young officer said, hurrying into the break room, “Just ignore Falman, he’s all out of sorts today with the news and all. That is my book and…I think you’re too young to be reading it,” Fuery’s cheeks pinked faintly.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I just saw it here on the table, and don’t worry, the sexual scene descriptions are so flowery they are hard to take for anything realistic,” But Al handed the book back to him all the same, “So what’s this news that has Falman walking around making ridiculous accusations?”

“Well, keep it under wraps would you…?,” Cain said.

Even without ears, Al knew bullshit when he heard it.

“Where do you think I could find the First Lieutenant?” Alphonse asked slowly.

  
Al entered the dorm room and as expected, the bathroom door was wide open. Al strolled slowly across the room, then folded his arms and leaned in the bathroom doorway.

Ed was trying to wash his face off. Foam was everywhere and Al wasn’t sure if it were from suds or Ed’s frothing. Ed turned his head slowly, eyes large and haunted, toothbrush scrubbing the top of his mouth and looked at Al.

“So it all comes to this,” Al said and shook his metal head filling the bathroom with the appropriate tin washboard sounds.

Ed made a pathetic moan and scrubbed harder.

“You brought this on yourself. We’ve both heard those Colonel Slut rumors, but you always have to live dangerously,” Al sighed dramatically.

Ed said something, but it was unintelligible. He drooled foam and leaned over the sink. He stayed there for a moment, then his head shot up and he whipped his gaze back to his brother so hard his braid slapped the side of his face as he yanked the toothbrush out and let it fall from slackening fingers.

“YOU KNOW!” He screeched.

Al shrugged.

“Brother, you know you are really lousy at hiding _anything_ ”, he said, “and you’re about the age to have urges. But, I rather hoped you’d have urges with a girl. Not that it’s any of my business or anything, look I’m not here to be judgmental….”

“I CAN’T FUCKIN’ BELIEVE YOU KNOW!” his elder brother shrieked.

“Brother, stop screaming, you’re getting spit foam all over me,” Al brushed at his chest plate, “Where was I? Oh yeah, don’t you think he’s kind of old for you and don’t you ever think of things like repercussions? I would think you would consider what happened with _us_ …”

“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ SPYING ON ME?!” Ed had turned purple by this time, which clashed horribly with his eyes.

If Al had eyelids he would have controlled the muscles of his face to narrow them, but all he had in his defense was his voice. He leaned toward his elder brother and pointed with one leather gloved finger.

“Is that a sore on your lip, Brother?” he asked.

Ed sucked in a breath so hard, Al thought he would implode. He whirled on the bathroom mirror, leaned hard over the sink and almost smashed his nose against it.

“OH MY GOD I SEE IT!” Ed wailed.

Al turned and left his sobbing sibling in the bathroom. Sometimes this was too easy. Besides, it was high time Ed started to make some decisions all on his own.

Roy returned from lunch to find the office was business as usual. Everyone looked up at him when he walked in, shot a glance at Hawkeye (who causally lifted her hand to check the holster at her side), and then dropped their eyes back to their work.

“I know I haven’t been in the mess hall in a while,” Roy broke the silence and all eyes riveted to him. “but was it always protocol for a superior officer to have a table all to himself?”

The boys dropped their eyes to their work again, but Riza shook her head.

“Sir, about that. There’s been this rumor….” She began.

The phone on Roy’s desk rang and he held up a finger to her and smiled. One moment. He lifted the receiver.

“Roy!” came a very familiar voice over the line, “How you doing? Look, I know this is out of the blue but being as we are good friends and you know I’m here to support you in times of trouble, I had to call.”

“Hughes?” Roy said, mouth dropping into a scowl, eyebrow arching. “Times of trouble?” he repeated.

“I know they have some fancy term for it…” Hughes broke off for a moment, “I think its intervention. Yes that’s what it is, intervention. I’ve called to intervent you Roy.”

“Intervent me?” Roy repeated slowly. He glanced up as Hawkeye let out a loud sigh.

“I got this call you see, I won’t say from who because you know the term, ‘don’t ask, don’t tell…” Hughes went on.

“That term doesn’t apply to….LOOK, what the hell are you talking about?” Roy kept looking at the First Lieutenant but she had decided that the bookcases across the room were of far more interesting viewing than he was himself. Was she blind? He looked great today.

“Roy, I want to urge you to see a doctor immediately,” Hughes said, putting on his best serious tone, “It’s nothing to mess around with, it could have very serious long term effects.”

Roy blinked several times. His brain ran over to its filing cabinet of rational responses to insane conversations and quickly rifled through the files looking for anything remotely resembling the one he was having right now. It came up empty handed and shrugged at him.

“Uh…” Roy stammered, “How...how is Elysia?”

There was silence on the other end.

“I would sincerely hope you are asking that out of friendly curiosity and not because I’m going to have to take the next train to East City and kill you.” Hughes said flatly.

Roy held the receiver out to the First Lieutenant.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, get me a tap on this line, I think someone is impersonating Hughes and is doing a really bad job, they are making him sound utterly insane!” Roy said loudly, so Hughes could overhear.

Hawkeye sighed and took the phone receiver from the Colonel’s outstretched hand.

“Lieutenant Colonel,” she said briskly, “You have received some bad intelligence,” and she let her gaze travel to the table where a sudden frenzy of paper shuffling occurred, “and as much as myself and the Colonel appreciate what you are doing, there is really no cause for alarm. I have the situation under control.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Hughes sighed, “But you should know, the information in question was given to me by Major Shroder.”

“Not Shroder.” Riza said, inwardly groaning.

“Yep,” Hughes confirmed, “Ol’ ‘broadcast the juicy bits from the rooftop’ Shroder. Why he’s been assigned to the information department is anybody’s guess.”

“Do you think you can handle a spin?” Riza said, glancing at the Colonel who was trying to rearrange his features into something less disorganized.

“Well I’ll do what I can to try to keep it out of the top offices,” Hughes said, “but no guarantees. Maybe you should prepare him for the worst.”

About that time a harried looking East City military doctor and a small detail of MPs had appeared at the office door.

“It’s too late,” Hawkeye said, “But if you would be so kind as to convey our conversation to those in position to try and lessen the impact.”

“I’m on it as we speak,” Hughes said, “I guess there isn’t any way he won’t connect this phone call to what’s about to happen is he?”

“Not a chance,” Riza said.

“Well, guess we won’t be visiting for the holidays,” Hughes said and hung up the phone.

Because everyone loves juicy gossip but are always disappointed to find out it’s not _true_ , it took three days to get the Colonel released from quarantine. Even so, the Fuhrer himself issued the order that Colonel Roy Mustang should take some personal time, and enforced a two week vacation on the man.

Normally, Roy would have jumped at the chance to lie around his apartment in his underwear, reading books with questionable limericks and listening to vaudeville recordings on his phonograph, but this was not to be the case. Instead, the first few days of his leisure time was spent wandering around his apartment in a daze, wondering how he was ever going to repair the damage.

 _It’s just not fair. I refuse to give up my reputation without a fight, I outright refuse. Someone has to pay, and they have to pay with interest._

The next day or so was spent in deep investigation of his own, because Hawkeye flatly refused to share any intelligence.

“You can’t sign papers from a jail cell,” she told him over the phone. This was his fifth call. The first one he’d been demanding, the second he’d been slightly less demanding. The third call had been whiny and the fourth call had been pleading. By now Roy admitted defeat. She was just not going to tell him who started it.

He hung up, flopped onto the couch and buried his face in one of the throw pillows. The apartment was, in effect, as good as any prison cell could have been. Not that he was going to hide from this, no he was not. He was going to march back into that office 5 days hence and squelch the rumor once and for all that he, Colonel Roy Mustang, The Flame Alchemist, was of loose morals.

He wasn’t of loose morals, he was far from it, but the problem was he couldn’t tell anyone about it, and where was his supposed _boyfriend_ anyways. Not even a call. Some concern.

But a few hours later, as if heralded by the mere thought, Ed appeared at the door.

Ed was gracious, he allowed Roy to lean all over him. He brought Roy his favorite sandwich from the local deli. He brought Roy a large variety of magazines. He brought Roy an empty chocolate box that had been devoured while he was trying to decide what magazines to bring him. But most importantly he brought himself, which was really all Roy had wanted.

They had made the dutiful trek to the bedroom at the appropriate time of the evening, but instead of getting naked they merely got undressed and both laid around in the bed looking at the ceiling.

“I just don’t understand how anything like that could have even gotten started,” Roy said, “If you knew who started it, you would tell me, wouldn’t you?” he asked the teen.

“I’d tell you,” Ed said, “I’d hold him while you hit him.”

“Him?” Roy pushed himself up on his elbows.

“Or her, or them,” Ed rushed to add, “But I really don’t know, I really don’t. What are you so worried about, the doctor has already said it wasn’t true. That should be enough, right?”

Roy snorted and flopped back into the pillows.

“Ed, your naïveté is refreshing. Ed, your naïveté is frustrating. Do you honestly think people are just going to let something like that _go?_ ” Roy draped an arm across his eyes.

“If it’s any consolation,” Ed said soothingly, “I didn’t believe it for a second.”

 **Omake**

Two little old men sat on a bench in a lovely Central City park. One was a well respected retired career military man. The other was a well respected retired state alchemist. They both admired the lovely spring scenery.

“You know,” said the little old retired military man, “we really had a lot of fun in our younger days.”

“Oh yes,” said the little old retired once state alchemist, “we most certainly did. Why I remember our old office in East City and all the wonderful people we use to work with.”

They both sighed.

“It’s a shame,” said the little old retired military man, “that we never got to have sex.”

“Well,” said the little old retired state alchemist, “what did you expect? I mean there was this rumor you have VD.”

The little old retired military man shook his head.

“See?” he said, “and here you thought people would forget.”  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Ed and Al had always whispered together in the dark. It was some of Ed’s earliest and fondest memories. Secrets and discoveries and all things in general they had seen that day, were all the more magical when retold in the dark.

Then the fears, the sadness, the nightmares… they too were shared in the dark. Instead of being frightening, the dark had been like a most comforting blanket, hiding their tears from the world outside. It was easy to lay a soul bare in the dark. In the dark it was easy to let go of tears.

“Brother,” Al’s voice came from across the room, “We’ve been in East City for a while now,” Al tried not to move very much at night so the creaks and clinks of his armor wouldn’t keep Ed awake.

“Yeah, longer than usual,” Ed answered immediately, Al’s creaks and clinks keeping him awake wouldn’t matter, on most nights the creaks and clinks of his own thoughts did that for him.

“I was just wondering if you thought we were going to get any more leads,” Al mused aloud, “and maybe that’s why we are waiting around.”

Ed’s stomach clenched. The one lead he thought the Colonel was going to give him had turned out to be nothing more than a rumor that went nowhere, and with the latest going on in the office, the word ‘rumor’ was the last thing he wanted to hear. So why was he hanging around? Ed already knew that answer and his heart sank.

He was the worst kind of selfish bastard, he really was.

And just when he didn’t think he could sink any lower.

“You know I’m really happy that we can take a break like this sometimes,” Al said, “its nice getting to see everyone and getting to know them better.”

Then Al chuckled.

“And you’ve gotten to know the Colonel a _lot_ better.”

It was meant as a joke. Al was giving his approval, even if he was skeptical and confused.

 _Why did Al ever get stuck with me?_

“Brother?” Al asked, the sound of his helmet only partially muffled by the pillow when he turned his head.

“We’re going to Central,” Ed said, “I’ll tell that bastard Colonel in the morning. We’re at a dead end here, if something comes his way he can contact us there. Our best bet right now is the Central Library and the resources that Hughes has in the information department.”

“Oh,” Al said, “Well it will be nice to see the Lieutenant Colonel again and Mrs. Hughes and Elysia. We haven’t seen them in a while and we can go to that Drachman restaurant you like,” Al continued, “Oh and maybe we can go see a moving picture show.” Al loved to go to the theatre, he loved to sit in the very back and every time they went, Ed could almost imagine seeing Al’s lips moving as each line card was flashed on the screen.

“Oh yeah,” Ed said, “We’ll definitely do that, but more importantly we’re going to find a lead, I just know there is something we’ve overlooked. We’ll definitely find something. I know, we can talk to Scheizka while we’re there too.”

“Oh yeah,” Al said, “It will be great to see her. This sounds great, I’m glad we’re going, Brother.”

Ed rolled over, his back to Al’s side of the room and he wiped his face with the corner of his blanket.

“Yeah me too, so we got a lot to do tomorrow, get some sleep,” he said.

“Right!” Al confirmed and went back to being motionless and silent.

It wouldn’t have mattered if Al had gotten up and tap danced in the middle of the room for the rest of the night, because the hammering of Ed’s heart kept him awake anyway.

 

Roy looked up when he heard Havoc cheerfully greet FullMetal and his brother as they walked into the office. Ed nodded and headed straight for the big desk; Al lingered behind and asked Havoc if he could recommend any good moving picture shows.

“Good morning FullMetal,” Roy said when the boy stopped at the edge of his desk, “I see you’re about early today, what’s the occasion?”

Ed let one gloved finger trail across the edge of Roy’s desk and then bump against a silver pen lying like a blockade at the wheels of a small bronze toy cannon.

“Colonel,” he said, “I’ve decided we need to go spend some time in Central, the resources there are much better than those here in East City and we’re just stalling here, so I’m requesting permission to report there to Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and indulge in some research.”

Roy sat back in his chair, scooted back just enough to cross his legs.

“That seems like an excellent idea,” he said and Ed’s eyes snapped up to him. “You do seem to be just turning your wheels hanging around here, and you’ll be easy enough to track down when something does come in. Very well, permission granted. As a matter of fact, while you’re there I have some things you can check into for me as well.”

Ed worked his jaw.

 _That was awfully easy, almost like he wants to get rid of me._

The Colonel stood and Ed looked up at him.

“Come with me,” Roy said, “There are a few files I want you to convey personally to Hughes, proprietary sort of things that I know I can trust you with.”

Roy strode around the desk and headed for the door. Ed watched him for a moment, then trotted after him.

“Be right back Al,” he said and followed the Colonel into the hall.

They went down the hall to the file room. This place again. Ed’s mind strayed back to a mere few weeks or so ago when a group of concerned fellow military personnel had huddled here and told him that his lover had VD.

Ed still couldn’t believe he fell for it.

Roy held the door open for him, so he walked in with Roy following behind him, pulling the door shut.

Ed felt himself smile. So the Colonel wanted a farewell grope. That wasn’t out of the question. After all, they were boyfriends and Ed could hardly deny his boyfriend one last feel up for who knows how long… and some kisses, yes he could certainly do that. Only he couldn’t get hard this time, getting hard at the office was embarrassing and happening far too often for his liking. So the Colonel could kiss him on his face, but not behind his ear or on his neck, and the Colonel could feel up his butt a little, but not a lot, and he couldn’t touch his stomach. That would be bad. So yes, some kissing and groping but no dry humping at all. Although, he sort of like dry humping… but no. No rubbing against the Colonel. Hard-ons were bad when they weren’t in a bed with a naked Colonel over him. Ok, Roy could start kissing him now.

“Ed, I have to start dating,” Roy said.

Ed had tilted his face up in anticipation of that very first kiss he knew would get out of hand and make him hard anyway, but he’d already decided to forgive the Colonel for it, because the Colonel needed that sort of thing and Ed was happy he was the supplier of his needs.

Ed didn’t expect his heart to bottom out so hard.

“It’s not like that,” Roy rushed to continue, “Listen to me ok, just listen to me first.” Roy took him by his shoulders and Ed wondered what had played across his face to make Roy have such a look on his own.

Roy’s hands began working in gentle circles on the boy’s shoulders.

“I know I don’t have to tell you what happened a few weeks ago wasn’t a good thing and how damn lucky we were,” The Colonel said in even tones, his dark eyes trying desperately to hold and comfort golden ones. “People get suspicious, they talk, rumors start. This is going to sound insane, but I’m glad it was about _me_ and something to do with why I was avoiding women and not in relation to you. Do you understand, Ed? I know you do.”

Ed nodded, lips shut.

“So we have to take measures, because I want to keep you safe. I know how important this position as a state alchemist is to your goals and I, for one, do not want to be the cause of you loosing any chance of restoring Al and yourself. I’m an adult and so I’m responsible for my own actions, but endangering you is just something I can’t bear, and so, I’m going to start dating again.” Roy’s eyes kept searching Ed’s, trying to force understanding directly into the boy’s brain.

 _You’re going to start dating again because you want to keep me safe from myself? That’s adult logic?_

“You seem to be taking this well,” Roy said.

 _I’m a totally selfish bastard that for the sake of my hormones has confined my brother to spending more time as a living doll than he should and now you’re dumping me by trying to make it sound like you’re doing me a favor._

“Everything you’re saying is making total sense,” the boy said, and unbeknownst to the Colonel, it was the most perfect lie ever told.

Roy smiled and Ed’s heart skipped a beat.

 _After all, I have an undeniable track record of being the world’s biggest fuck-up. Look at my life time of accomplishments. I consign my brother to total sensory depravation during the most crucial years of his life right when he should be feeling the **most**. I get us involved with all manners of dangerous people, including (but not limited to) not one, but _two_ religious zealots out to kill us. I have compromised the only person outside of our own mother who has sought to help and protect us like we were their own, and to top it all off I complain about having to reciprocate sexual favors. Yes, I realized what a total ass I was the next morning and I wanted to make that up to you, but you were already late for work and then all that other stuff got started and so I haven’t really had a real chance to make that up, but I wanted to. I wanted to tell you, but now what is the point? There isn’t a point. No wait, there is one. Edward Elric, you always get exactly what you deserve._

Roy kissed his forehead soundly.

“I knew you’d understand, that’s what separates the men from the boys, Ed,” and Roy gave his shoulders a squeeze, “knowing what has to be done.”

 _You bastard Colonel, I think I'm in love with you. But that's alright, you're not the only one who can do what has to be done._

“Oh sure,” the boy grinned one of his infamous grins, “I wouldn’t want your reputation to take any more of a beating than it already has, since we both know you totally didn’t deserve it. Date all you want while we’re in Central, that’s fine.”

Roy released his shoulders and turned to a filing cabinet and pulled out a few files and gave them to Ed.

“Here, just mail them back when you get to Central, oh and…” Roy took his shoulders again, pulled Ed against his body and _kissed_ him, “This is what will be waiting for you when you get back.”

Ed opened his mouth and closed his eyes and kissed the man he loved goodbye. Then he went out the door to retrieve his brother and leave on the next train out.

Al watched Ed slouch against the window of the passenger car. Except for a few mumbled responses to direct questions, he hadn’t said anything for the last half hour. Al had been meaning to save the buns he had hidden in his armor for later, but Ed needed cheering up and something to take his mind off his boyfriend. Al still did a little mental flinch whenever he associated the Colonel and the word ‘boyfriend’, but he was supportive of his big brother and if that is what Ed wanted, then that was fine with Al. Ed was always sacrificing so much of himself for others’ happiness, it was time he got a little back of his own.

Al looked around, but they had the train car almost to themselves and the other passenger, ironically a military man, was sleeping with his chin pressed to his chest. So, Al undid the leather straps on the right side of his chest plate and swung it open. The creak attracted Ed’s attention and Al pulled out an oil-stained paper bag, shut his chest plate and redid the buckle.

“Look Ed,” Al said holding up the bag, “I got you some buns at the station when you were buying the tickets. I got a mix of all different kinds because I know you like that. I was going to save them for later, but you might as well eat them now.”

Al waved the bag enticingly at his sulking sibling.

“There is a dozen, I won’t even say anything if you eat them all in one sitting,” Al offered magnanimously.

Ed smiled a smile that was both sad and sweet and he reached out to take the bag.

“You’re too good to me Al,” he said, “thanks.”

“Oh sure, you know I thought you might be hypoglycemic. That’s something I read about a few days ago. It can make people sort of manic when they are hungry. You know, nasty, snappish, head achey, that sort of thing. But after observing you for a while to test my theory, I realized that’s just the way you are, hungry or not.” Al plowed ahead, “I had a real opportunity to study the people we work with these last couple of months, and they are all amazing in their own individual ways. But you know, and call me crazy, I think the Colonel looked a little sad when you told him we were leaving, and that’s kinda sweet.”

Al looked at his brother who had a bun hanging out of his mouth, and encouraged, he continued.

“The Colonel has the most telling eyes, he tries to keep them guarded all the time, but it just doesn’t seem to work when he looks at you. It’s almost like he’s seeing you for the first time all over again, and it’s like this look of wonder. I know that must sound like romantic mush to you since you don’t go for public displays of affection, but I still think it’s kind of sweet, and I also think he’s kind of surprised too, like he’s never felt like that before.”

The bun still hadn’t made it past Ed’s lips and to his stomach.

 _Al please, Al I love you, Al shut up._

Al hummed and put his hands on his knees and looked out the window.

“I really like train rides,” Al said, “it gives you time to think.”

Ed closed his eyes.

 

Roy dove into the paperwork on his desk, relaxed and relieved, replaying Ed’s grin over and over again in his mind.

 _Of course he would understand. He’s brilliant. He sees the potential danger of the situation if we don’t take some sort of action. So I’ll date, maybe I’ll kiss a little. It won’t mean anything. It won’t get very far, but appearances will be maintained and he’ll be safe._

He looked up at Havoc who was doing a good job of sleeping with his eyes open.

“Lieutenant Havoc,” he barked.

Havoc jerked and saluted to the empty chair opposite him, then blinked and turned to look at the Colonel.

“Penelope’s number, do you still have it?” Roy asked.

Havoc looked at him for the longest moment, then he nodded very slowly.

Roy snapped his fingers causing everyone in the office (except Riza) to jump.

“Let’s have it,” he said.

Havoc finally got up and dragged his way to the big desk slowly, with all the enthusiasm of a man walking to the gallows. He fished the well folded slip of paper out of his wallet and handed it to the Colonel.

“It’s good to have you back,” Havoc said dryly.

“Thank you,” Roy’s smirk sliced its way out, “it’s good to be back.”

 

“I won’t hear of it!” Hughes voice was so loud that people walking through two offices over paused to listen, “You aren’t coming here for the first time in month and staying in the dorms, you’ll stay with us!” Hughes grinned down and Ed blanched.

“No really, that’s way too generous,” Ed stammered.

“I insist! Oh it will be great, Gracia will be happy to see you, Elysia will be ecstatic, speaking of which…” Hughes shoved his hand deep into his trouser pocket, and Ed turned to flee but bumped into Al instead and banged his nose, “Look at _these_!”

Ed looked up at Al, but knew when he was beaten. He politely rifled through the small stack of photos Hughes eagerly shoved into his hands.

“I know you haven’t seen these before,” Hughes gushed, “In fact I think I have a whole album at home you haven’t seen! We can go over them at dinner. Isn’t she a delight? Doesn’t see just inspire the most joy? I particularly like her expression in this one, she just looks like she’s saying ‘Let my angelic cuteness take all your troubles and wing them away!’” Hughes laughed, slapped Ed’s shoulder and passed the pictures Ed was finished with into Al’s large hands.

“These are really nice Lieutenant,” Al said, “You’re getting very good with a camera.”

 _Al is always so nice, no matter how annoying the person. Must be why he gets along with me so well._

“I’ve got an empty desk you boys can use while you’re researching, I had it moved into Scheizka’s office,” Hughes said, calmer now that his daughters photographic image had been contemplated, “I don’t have to tell you that you have full access to just about anything here.”

“Ah,” Ed said, “I’ve been wanting to talk again with Scheizka, go over a few things I never got to ask her the last time around.”

“At your service,” Hughes said, “Ah, it’s good to have you guys back for a while, I’m sure Roy was getting on your nerves. I’m going to go call Gracia with the good news. Go familiarize yourself with the office and I’ll come and get you when it’s time to go, this is going to be great!”

Al followed Ed out of Hughes’ office and into one of the smaller side offices where a young woman looked up and smiled.

“It’s good to see you both again,” Scheizka grinned, “It’s going to be nice to have company that isn’t so photographically inclined.”

Al laughed, Ed smiled and Scheizka got up and indicated an empty desk on the opposite side of her tiny work space.

“Here’s the desk the Lieutenant Colonel had brought in, I hope it’s ok,” she smiled.

“It’s great, thanks. Later on, if you’re not busy, I’d like to get together,” Ed said, “there are a few things I wanted to go over with you about some of the notes you wrote out for us from Tim Marcho’s book.”

“Certainly,” she smiled, “I’ll be glad to go over them with you.”

Al shifted around and said, “Did you ever read any books in the library by someone named Donnel Hayes?”

Scheizka tilted her head, squinted her eyes, then opened them wide.

“Alphonse,” she said, “those types of books weren’t in the main library, those types of books were bought in drug stores and left on break room tables and how old are you anyway?”

“Ah!” Al waved his hands, “Nevermind then.”

Ed had colored up.

“Al!” he complained.

 

Ed had been gone for three whole days and Roy had yet to make a phone call. That one little display in the office with Havoc wouldn’t be enough, he realized, if he didn’t produce the goods. So, he picked up the phone and began dialing and blinked in surprise when Scheizka answered on the other end.

“Uh,” Roy said, “Is the Lieutenant Colonel in?” he asked.

Moments later Hughes assaulted his ear drums.

“Roy! Good of you to call! Checking up on the boys? They’re doing just great! Did you get that latest picture of Elysia I sent? The one of her at the zoo? The animals all just loved her! “

“Hughes!” Roy barked to get a word in edge wise.

“Oh pooh,” Hughes sniffed, “right to business with you. So what is it this time? No I don’t have any new leads on ‘Scar’.” Hughes tucked the phone against his shoulder and folded his arms, prepared to play ‘twenty uninteresting questions pertaining to work’ with Roy.

“So Ed and Al are ok?” Roy asked, “They are getting the information they want?”

“Oh they’re peachy,” Hughes said, studying his nails, “and I tell you it’s the cutest thing, Ed follows Scheizka around like a puppy, it’s plainly adorable. I’ll try to get you a picture if you want, it’s like he’s absolutely besotted with her and really what better match is there? Ed and a walking library, what could be more perfect?” Hughes dropped his voice to a stage whisper, “We got an office pool going on now, the current lead is she’s going to get his cherry. You in?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long moment.

“No,” Roy said finally, “No, I think I’ll pass.”

 

The Flame Alchemist took up residence on the couch in his living room that night, a magazine lay open on his chest. He was barefoot, wearing an untucked button down shirt and a pair of unbelted slacks. It was foolish to be waiting for a knock that wasn’t going to come. His rational mind knew that Ed was in Central, and even if Ed had jumped on the train the moment he hung up the phone with Hughes, it would still be two days before he saw him.

Roy rested his forearm across his forehead. This was ridiculous. Of course Ed would be attracted to someone of a similar intellect, why shouldn’t he be? It was right and natural and a _girl_. It was perfect.

Roy knew that what he and Ed shared was more on a lust level. Oh sure Roy could engage him, Roy was witty, Roy could out banter him and tease him because Roy had the experience to do so. But on that lofty intellectual level, on that level that shone in Ed’s eyes when he began to discuss an array, or the way matter flowed, or the equivalence needs for just a certain transmutation, Roy fell flat. Sure he knew the basics and sure he knew what he needed to know to make his brand of alchemy all it could be, but as far as being an innovator in the field, he fell terribly short. That sort of thing was best left to the forward thinkers, the logistically minded self starters who were of the same ilk that brought about the science in the first place.

People like Ed, who sometimes for his short stature, stood taller than any alchemist on the planet.

People like that were untouchable.

 

Alphonse Elric, over the last four years, has not slept a wink. His mind turned to devising better and better ways of coping with his massive amounts of cerebral time denied by the average person. He read with a fierce abandon that could only be matched by the way he observed his surroundings. Given the long night hours all to himself in which to think, he often let his mind wander into the realms of speculation rather than rational logic.

It was, in effect, a coping mechanism and Alphonse Elric knew all about coping mechanisms. His most avid example was of course his own elder brother, who at this very moment was curled in a tight ball on the bed opposite his own, twisting the blanket in his automail fingers and moving his lips in his sleep. Ed coped with life in all the ways everyone else did in pretty much the everyday way. He complained, he rationalized, he justified, and he sulked. But to those chosen few, and Alphonse counted himself to be one of the lucky number, he agonized, he prophesized, he moralized and he hoped.

Lately he had hoped a bit harder than before. Alphonse found himself making the mental connection to his brother’s new found and hard won sense of self worth, with that of the timely and handy intervention of a certain military Colonel. Roy Mustang was by far not who he would have picked to fill all the places in his brother that he could not himself fill, but far be it for him to deny the man his due. Ed positively glowed. His spirits had been high, his eyes had been clear, his grins had been easy and his smiles had been sincere. It wasn’t hard to see that despite all reservations, the Colonel has been _good_ for him, and that is more that any devoted little brother could hope for.

But the longer they were in Central, the more Al started to see that some of the old shadows were back to haunt Ed’s eyes. Oh he still smiled, but not as sincerely, and he even laughed, but it seemed more like an obligation. He was full of reassurances for Al and 100 percent positive they would turn up some lead one day very soon and off they would go again, the two of them against the world. He did it with a determination so hot that it was hard not to be swept along in the tide of Ed’s intentions, no matter how insane they sometime might be. If Al hadn’t been the master observer he was, he would have missed the lines at the corner of his brother’s mouth, the stiffing of his back at the mention of the Colonel’s name, or the way he would turn his face away at just the right time to hide what might be shown there. Ed was a master of deception this was true, but even he couldn’t hide from himself and Ed’s self is what Al knew best.

Right now, Ed lay across from him, clinging to a blanket for dear life and silently moving his mouth in the same name over and over and Al wondered what had gone wrong.

Roy surveyed himself in the mirror. He had snuck out of the office early today, swung by the cleaners and picked up his spare uniform. He straightened his jacket and checked out his ass and mussed his hair just so, not to much to look messy, but just enough to look less than stuffy.

 _Hmph. Better than most mortal women deserve._

A spritz of cologne, a quick check out the window to make sure the driver was there, and he slung his black trench over his shoulders and paraded out the front door, down the walk and slid smoothly into the waiting vehicle. Penelope Brunwalder would never know what hit her.

Dinner, dancing, kissing… then other things. Yes, it was time to get back into the routine. After all, while a certain young blonde alchemist had been a refreshing break, he certainly hadn’t been much of a satisfying one. Awkward, rough, rude and glaring… too quick to complain, too quick to drop to sleep, Roy really wasn’t quite sure what had possessed him to ever coax the teen into his bed in the first place.

It’s not like it was doing either of them much good. It could only lead to complications neither of them needed in their lives. It was interfering with Ed’s search, it was distracting him from his ambitions… really all around it was much, much better like this. It had perhaps helped them understand each other better and might actually in the long run make them close friends when Ed was old enough to appreciate what true friendship was, but Roy Mustang was an adult and to spend his time mooning over a lust-struck teenager? Well that was just out of the question. He sincerely hoped that Penelope still used that cinnamon scented perfume. If he remembered correctly, it always made his nose tingle.

Ed jerked awake but remained still, not wanting to draw Al’s attention. He wasn’t sure if Al was still alert or not, but he didn’t want to have to deal with his brother’s gentle concern while he had an aching hard-on. Goddamn the man, yet another reason breaking it off had been a good idea; he gave him erections at the most inappropriate of times. He stayed as still as possible willing the ache between his legs to just go _away_. It wasn’t doing either of them much good. It could only lead to complications neither of them needed in their lives. He was interfering with Roy’s ambitions and it was distracting Ed from his search.

But still, Roy had tried to let him down easy. What was he thinking letting that man talk him into his bed in the first place? He had much better things to do with his time, like _restoring Al_ , than to be mooning over a man almost old enough to be his father _(that bastard!)_. It was just out of the question. He sincerely hoped that the next time he saw the Colonel, the man kept his eyes to himself and didn’t give Al any more reasons to wax poetic over something that was just plain nonsense to start with. He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and thought long and hard of Armstrong, that had always destroyed his inappropriate erections in the past.

 

Roy had neatly slipped one strap of a stunning lavender dress down a milk white shoulder and let his lips traipse their way to a slender neck tilted just so to invite him up to a delicate ear. If one looked past the girls questionable giggling talents, there were many things that Penelope Brunwalder had in her favor. She was petite, she was curvy, she had a bosom that was neither too small to be appreciated, nor too big to interfere. Her eyes were the exact shade of blue that complimented his uniform and her hair was a gingery orange fall of golden-streaked silk. All in all, she was a marvelous example of feminine charm and style that wasn’t above letting certain men of power carry the memory of her charms to work with them the next day.

To keep her from giggling and ruining the moment, Roy decided he really needed to keep her lips occupied. She sweetly parted them, parlaying with his tongue, and let her finely manicured nails make scratching noises up his back.

 _Ed’s automail fingers always pressed a little too hard when he was excited. Often, Roy wondered if he had long bruises up his back._

Roy tore his mouth away from hers, his own hands running the curves along her sides to her hips, he dragged his mouth across her cheek to her ear and inhaled deeply. The cinnamon scent was intoxicating.

 _Ed always smelled of mechanical oil and sweat, and it was no wonder. He dressed in layers, Roy had to positively dig to find a bit of skin._

She made this delicate little sound, not quite a moan, more a mew and she curved herself against his frame, fitting neatly there.

 _Ed always grunted and snorted, his moans sounded like an animal in pain, and his whimpers reminded Roy of a small dog doing the pee pee dance to go out._

He threaded fingers into her hair at the base of her neck to hold her in place as he once again took her mouth. Her hair fell in silken waves between his fingers and it was as soft as any child’s head he’d ever petted.

 _Ed’s thick blonde mess was often tangled. Roy would snag his fingers in the braid, and deal with Ed’s bitching as he worked loose the tie. Sometimes it was even dirty and hung on his shoulders like a dull yellow rug._

Roy pulled back to look in her eyes when her hands boldly wandered on to his backside, she kneaded there expertly and her blue eyes spoke volumes of pleasure without a single word from her lips.

 _Ed’s eyes were a strange shade of amber, almost unnatural and in some light, yellow like a cat’s. Roy could have sworn he’d seen them shine in the dark a time or two, and the overall effect was creepy._

Another tongue battle ensued and her hand which had been so welcome on his butt, moved around his thigh to between his legs and cupped him. After a moment they both stopped. She looked up at him, brow furrowing delicately with blue eyes both shocked and surprised. She seemed at a loss for what to say.

Roy remained absolutely rigid, willing any external reaction that was in any way telling, to resolutely die on the spot before it crept to the surface, such as say, a blush.

Penelope Brunwalder opened her mouth and said the most horrible thing any living person had said to him in his life.

“It’s ok,” she said, trying to sound sympathetic _(but also trying to sound like she wasn’t going to laugh)_ , “This happens to _everybody._

If the ground opened up beneath him and the planet dragged him down into her fiery molten core, he could not have asked for a better way to go.

 

Ed made a break for it. He threw off the blanket, bolted to his feet and tore across the room to the door. He was out, down the hall, down the stairs and out the front door in the night air before he even had a chance to marvel at what a feat that was with an erection.

 

He stood on the cement walk and panted, drawing in the cool night air, all too soon feeling the hot ache between his legs. He turned in a circle and felt his world spin both figuratively and literally.

It was just no good. He ran around the house to the back and after a moment’s contemplation and feeling much chagrin and embarrassment, he ducked into the Elysia’s play house, sat on the damp ground and leaned against it’s wooden side. He was just insane, that was all, insane. He could no more banish the man from his thoughts than he could breathe. Roy was crowded in there with all his guilt, all his pain and all his hopes. Along side the images of Al, the memories of his mother and all the horrors he’d witnessed in 15 very short years. He was permanently entrenched between his heart and his soul, and Ed had no idea how to get rid of him.

 _I absolutely fuckin’ hate you!_

But he didn’t.

 _I don’t want this!_

But he did.

 _Leave me alone!_

But please don’t.

 _I want to cry._

And so he did.

He wiped his face on his shirttail and took a few breaths. He felt a little better.

 _He’s some really shitty bastard for putting me through this, making me think this way. I don’t think this way. He’s another man! I don’t feel this for another man! He’s brainwashed me somehow. He reached in and grabbed me by the gray matter and he squeezed. He’s a fuckin’ asshole and if I ever see him again (please yes please) I’m going to kick his ass from here to Xing! Goddamn smooth talking, smirking, vain peacock!_

 _It’s alright Ed, it was partly my fault anyways._

 _Before you bit me, it was great._

 _This is what’s waiting for you when you get back._

Ed sighed and let his head thunk against the playhouse wall.

“Doomed,” he said aloud, “doomed like the dog I am. Might as well offer up my soul and get the blood letting over with. Might as well call the bastard tomorrow and let him rip me to shreds. I mean, he can’t do any worse a job than I’m doing myself, right?”

He heard a soft clink like a metal door swinging half way shut.

“Dammit Al!” He yelled, “Will you let me emo in peace?!”

 

Two hours and half a bottle of very fine scotch later, Roy Mustang sat on his couch with his legs sprawled and feet on the coffee table. The turmoil that could loosely be called his mind, leaped alternately between a red head trying hard not to laugh at him and a blonde teenager flushing and reaching up to him. He took another violent swing of scotch and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth.

“If some fucking teenage boy is going to do this to me,” he screamed at his picture window, “Then I am fucking going to do that teenage boy!”

Another hearty gulp.

“YEAH! That’s the _word_ …FUCKING!”

 

“Can I use the phone?” Ed asked Hughes the next morning in the office.

“Sure Ed, help yourself, there’s one on Scheizka’s desk,” Hughes smiled.

“Um no, I need to use one in private,” Ed lowered his eyes to Hughes desk.

“Oh well, alright,” The man stood and motioned for Ed to follow him.

“Just make sure you lock the door behind you when you’re through,” Hughes said, making Ed a loan of an office with a door.

“I will, and hey, thanks,” Ed smiled.

“My pleasure,” Hughes said and pulled the door shut as he left.

Ed stared at the phone, finally rested his automail hand on the receiver and picked it up.

Now or never.

 

They were walking on eggshells. On clouds on feathers on eggshells.

The first thing the Colonel had done this morning was to sweep his desk clean in fury over a mislaid pen, and it wasn’t even a pen that _worked._

Cain, frantic that his idol be soothed, had crawled around on hands and knees and found it against the leg of the Colonel’s very own desk where it had obviously dropped and rolled at some point the pervious day.

This disaster averted, everyone found something to do that took them outside of the big office.

Roy clicked the silver pen furiously and scribbled all over his desk blotter, grinding his teeth. Over and over in an up and down motion and miracle of miracles the pen began to write! Just as it began to write, the phone rang.

Without much thought he snatched up the receiver and growled, “Mustang”, into it, more than willing to inflict his rancid mood on the world. But silence met his snarl and he took a deep breath and schooled himself. This was not the behavior of a superior officer.

“Colonel?” an achingly familiar voice came over the line.

Now it was Roy’s turn to offer a moment of silence and then, finally: “FullMetal?”

“Hey, uh, I just thought you’d like to know that things here are going ok, and we’re getting a lot of research done.”

The voice on the other end of the line seemed to be…hopeful?

“I’m pleased to hear it, according to Hughes you and Scheizka make quite a team.”

Roy had to keep his voice steady, if this is what FullMetal needed then this is what FullMetal shall have.

“Uh, well yeah, I mean she didn’t really have any more information than she’d given us earlier and well, I didn’t even see her yesterday. I think she took the day off. Uh…how are things there?”

Roy worked his jaw a bit, tapped the silver pen on his blotter.

“Pretty much the same, but there is this report here on my desk that might need further investigation, something to do with something to do with a rumor that is a rumor like usual.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah…so, when are you coming back?”

“Tomorrow! I mean, I think we can get a train out of here tomorrow, that is if we have everything done by then. We probably will, not much left to do here, I mean we definitely will, I mean I’ll see if there is a train heading out tonight, because it will take a couple of days anyways. I have to go now and see if we can get one this afternoon. I think we’re done here.”

The boy was tripping all over himself.

“Ed,” Roy said, “Hurry.”

The phone went dead.

Roy Mustang used a fine silver pen to sign all his paper that day and no one got hurt.

 **Omake**

 

Roy clicked the silver pen furiously and scribbled all over his desk blotter with it, grinding his teeth. Over and over in an up and down motion and miracle of miracles the pen began to write! Just as it began to write, the phone rang.

Without much thought he snatched up the receiver and growled, “Mustang”, into it, more than willing to inflict his rancid mood on the world. But silence met his snarl and he took a deep breath and schooled himself. This was not the behavior of a superior officer.

“Colonel?” an achingly familiar voice came over the line.

“Fullmetal” the Colonel said after a moment.

“Yes?” the boy breathed.

“Are you wearing your leather pants?” The Colonel’s voice dropped to a purr.

“Yes?” the boy panted.

“And your white gloves?” The Colonel pressed.

“Oh yes,” the boy moaned.

“Good,” Mustang husked, “Here’s what I want you to do….and don’t be quiet about it….”


	6. Chapter 6

They had been back in Central for little more than half an hour and already Ed was trying to rush off to headquarters.

“No,” Al said firmly and held onto Ed by his flesh arm on the half chance that Ed would uncouple the automail one to escape.

He dragged his struggling sibling back to the dorms, shoved him into their room, shut the door and planted his 7 foot self firmly in front of it, arms folded. He was fairly certain he could beat Ed to the window if he took a dive for it.

“What is with you?” his elder brother screeched and stomped all around the room, “In case you didn’t know it, I have a job! I’m a state alchemist, I have to report in when I get places! I have to go and get debriefed, I have to make reports!”

“You’ve been on a train for the last two and a half days,” Al said, never raising his voice, “and even without a nose I can tell you stink. Your hair looks like a rag used to up mop up a baby’s diaperless accident and you have had something on your chin since the last stop we made, but you screamed when I tried to wipe your face.” Al nodded off toward the bathroom. “You know, if you are so ready for the Colonel to jump your bones, you could at least do him the courtesy of taking a shower first so he doesn’t have to hold his nose to have a conversation with you.”

Ed stared at Al in dumbfounded amazement.

“Did you just say ‘jump my bones’?” he squeaked out.

“Come on,” Al charged across the room and ushered his startled sibling in front of him, “to the showers with you!”

While Ed scrubbed, Al looked around the dorm room and sighed.

“Here we are again, I guess I’m going to get use to it here,” Al picked up the suitcase and laid it on the bed. “You know what,” he said to the room, “I’m too damn understanding that’s what. I mean really, what other brother do you know that would not only condone a totally inappropriate relationship, but also encourage it.” Al walked over to the kitchenette area and decided to go ahead and make a grocery list. Ed would be out all night and possibly all day tomorrow as well and he’d need something to do.

“When my turn comes for a totally inappropriate relationship I only hope he’s half as understanding as I am, but knowing brother, yeah just _knowing_ him, I should know better.” Al opened cabinets and then made a note to notify the ice delivery man of their return. As he surveyed the inventory of things to try and fill Ed’s bottomless pit of a stomach with, he looked at the toaster resting innocently on the countertop.

“You,” he said and pointed at it, “are my new girlfriend.” Al knew the toaster was a girl because he had already determined he was going to be hopelessly straight. He heard a choked-off snicker behind him and turned to see Ed standing there with a towel around his waist, his hair a wet scraggly golden mess over his shoulders, and his amber eyes twinkling in delight.

“How long have you been standing there?” Al demanded.

“Long enough to tell you that no shabby kitchen appliance is going to date my little brother without me screening it first!” Ed replied, yelping out a laugh and merrily ducking out of the way as one of his own boots was thrown at him.

 

Later Ed sat patiently in one of the kitchenette chairs and let Al brush is hair. It really was nice, it really was wonderful to have someone to _share_ it all with, especially someone he loved and someone who loved him back.

“So, what’s it really like?” Al said, working Ed’s hair into a some semblance of groomed, “I mean, what does it feel like?”

Ed wasn’t sure what Al meant, and despite all the thoughts of brotherly love, well he wasn’t going to describe sex with the Colonel with Al, because frankly it was embarrassing. The Colonel was of course fabulous, but he sucked.

“It’s like being terrified, sorta,” Ed said, “I mean he looks at me and my body goes all stiff and my heart starts to race and I want to run but I can’t, and I have trouble breathing and I just keep wondering what’s going to happen next and I can’t really think and my stomach rolls and I feel hot.” Ed sucked in his bottom lip.

“Sounds awful,” Al said and gave Ed’s hair one last stroke, “But it also sounds wonderful,” he sighed.

“Yeah,” Ed said, “it is awful and wonderful.”

Roy stood up, he’d been checking the train schedules every fifteen minutes for the past hour and even called the station to make sure the trains were running on time. Ed was home.

“I’m finished here,” he announced and started for his coat.

“Colonel,” a level female voice said. Not too loud, not too soft, but just at the right decibel to make every hair on the nape of his neck stand on end.

He turned around and gave a smooth smile.

“Yes First Lieutenant,” he asked.

“I have here the current vacation requests you need to go over, you’ve put them off so long that some of the people on the list have retired. After that, I have the minutes of the last meeting you didn’t attend because you were sick _(her tone plainly said ‘because you were skipping out’)_ that you need to go over and write a brief note about as some pertain to issues that have come up around the base. After that, you really need to have a talk with Feldman. The man has been requesting an audience with you about his latest promotion for the past two weeks and this would be the third time you’ve stood him up. As I am tired of being your stand in for that wet little moaning sound he makes when he shows up and finds you are not here, I have decided if you try to leave the office today before you see him, I shall have to break one of your legs, forgive my insubordination, sir. In the morning you have an 8:00 meeting with General Hakuro and a 10:00 meeting with the heads of staff. Then you are taking Fuery to lunch because you _promised_ you would and he’s going to get hives if you don’t. After that you’re usual paperwork will be waiting on you, including at last count, six field reports that need your immediate attention. I suggest you get started now and sleep on one of the couches tonight so you will be here in the morning, I promise if you do I will come in early to wake you and bring you some breakfast.”

Then she saluted, like that was suppose to make him feel better.

He had a brief internal struggle. To simply scream out: _Oh my god woman, Ed just got back and I have to GO,_ would probably not be a wise thing to do. Besides, he was fairly certain that she could outrace him to the door and he was definitely certain she could break one of his legs. He tried desperately to dredge up a _good_ excuse he hadn’t already used. She knew he had no immediate relations lying on their death bed and she knew he didn’t really have VD, so those two excuses were right out. So instead he said: “Please let me go.” He even tried not to whine.

“No,” she replied.

He wanted to cry.

 

“Give me THAT!” Al tugged hard on the black tank top Ed had in his hands.

“I want to wear it, let go Al!” Ed screamed in return.

“It’s dirty! I know it’s dirty! I have to wash it, you have to wear something else!” Al howled.

“It’s not dirty, I didn’t wear it _that_ much, and it’s black! So what? No one will know it’s dirty!” Ed yanked hard.

“Oh, you liar! You wore it every day! I know it’s dirty! You’re not going to take a shower and then put on stinking clothes! It’s embarrassing when you walk in the office and the First Lieutenant wrinkles her nose!” Al hauled back extra hard and lifted his hands, making Ed dangle on tiptoe.

“WHAT? Just because I embarrass you in front of your _girlfriend_ you want to take away my best shirt?!” Ed shrieked, raising one foot and planting it on his brother’s chest plate.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Al snarled and released the shirt by one hand and planted a leather glove in Ed’s face, “She’s my mentor, there’s a big difference! I’m not the pervert with the older adult fixation!”

Biting Al did absolutely no good at all.

There was a loud sound of tearing fabric, and Ed hit the floor with part of the shirt still gripped in his automail hand. He stared up at his brother, armor hand still raised and part of the shirt in his brother’s hand.

“MY SHIRT!” Ed screamed.

“Serves you right,” Al retaliated. For good measure, he put his armored foot on Ed’s side and shoved him across the floor.

Ed sat up and jumped to his feet, waving the scrap of black shirt he possessed in his hand around madly.

“What was that for?!” he yelled.

“You bit me!” Al waved his scrap of black shirt as well.

“It’s not like you can feel it! Give me back that piece so I can fix it,” Ed snarled leaping back across the space between him and his brother.

Al lifted his helmet, stuffed it inside and slammed his helmet down. He put his hands on his hips and glared. Yes, Al could convey a glare very well, unmoving metal or not.

“If you think you can get it you are free to try,” he said, low and dangerous.

Ed threw his scrap of black shirt at Al’s feet and kicked his metal shin. Then he ran, but there wasn’t far to go in their room.

 

Roy looked up as an MP rushed in and reported that someone was dangling the FullMetal Alchemist by one foot _(shirtless… and pantless)_ out of a second story dorm window. Roy leapt to his feet, but Hawkeye’s mere voice took control of the situation once again.

“It’s only his brother,” she told the MP sharply, “and it’s best not to interfere in these family matters. Besides, if Alphonse drops him, he will only land on his head and it won’t hurt him at all,” She finished, turning her sharp namesake gaze on the Colonel.

Roy sank slowly back down into his chair and picked up his pen so she would stop looking at him.

A few moments later the same MP came back, saluted and reported that after the FullMetal Alchemist had yelled: _I’m changing my name from the FullMetal Alchemist to the Pansy-Assed Doody-Headed Alchemist_ , he’d been hauled back inside the window.

“If you are so worried about my image,” Ed sniffled and sulked, “then why you’d hang me out the window in my underwear?”

“Well, your underwear,” Al growled, “is clean.”

Roy’s chin was on his desk. It was 8:45 in the evening. Ed had been back for over 4 hours. Roy had drawn a little doodle of Riza (complete with horns, a tail and a tiny 9mm) snarling at him for being a slacker. He’d finished the vacation requests and he’d listened to Sgt. Feldman wheeze and rasp over his promotion. He’d written a brief note pertaining to the minutes of the heads of staff meeting he’d skipped out on, saying that he really didn’t care if they had fish in the mess hall every alternate Friday. He’d read three of the six reports for the next day, but that still didn’t let him out of his meeting with Hakuro or the heads of staff, who undoubtedly wanted to know if 2-ply or 4-ply toilet paper was better. He also couldn’t disappoint Fuery because the kid was just good and needed to be rewarded.

He turned his head, laying his cheek on his desk, and really just wanted to go home, curl up around a sulky blonde haired teenage boy and go to sleep. That’s all he really wanted to do.

There was a sigh from somewhere off to this right.

“Alright,” The First Lieutenant said, “you may go.”

Roy leapt to his feet, grabbed his coat, blazed a trail worthy of the name ‘Flame Alchemist’ out of the office and headed for home.

The drive home was too long, even though it was a short distance away. Why was he in such a hurry? Ed wouldn’t be there, he hadn’t even come by the office. He was probably exhausted and asleep which is where he should be after a two day train ride.

Even though his chest felt a little tight at the thought of not getting to see Ed tonight, it was alright. He wanted to do something nice for Ed, to show him he missed him. He’d take him to dinner tomorrow night, yes that would be a good plan. Ed loved to eat. Roy would show him that he was missed by supplying him with a large steak. That would make Ed happy. Roy smiled.

He pulled over to the curb and got out, locked the car door and stuffed the keys in his pocket. He turned up his walk, still pleasantly musing about watching Ed try to get a whole porterhouse into his mouth in one bite and didn’t notice right away the figure sitting on his stoop.

He glanced up at movement however, and stopped in his tracks.

“Colonel?” the darkened figure said.

Roy felt warm and cold all at once.

Really, he had to figure out why just the sound of his title from this boy’s lips did that to him.

Roy continued up the walk, but when he got within a couple of feet of Ed, the boy launched himself at him, burying his face in his chest, his arms going as around Roy as far as he could reach.

Ed’s hair smelled like vanilla, and it was down. Amazed and awed, Roy stroked a hand over it, it was soft.

The small body pressed against his shuddered.

“Welcome home,” the Colonel whispered.

 

 _Why had he ever compared Ed’s whimpers to that of a small dog?_

The whimper, followed by an accompanying throaty sound, made Roy answer with a groan of his own.

Ed had appeared at his doorway. Hair loose, wearing a rust-colored suede button down over a _white_ tank top _(so the boy did own other clothes!)_ a pair of black jeans and loafers of all things, loafers! He’d left his hair down. He smelled like soap and oil and Roy had literally ripped his clothes off of him in the foyer. He knew that his own trench coat was in the doorway of the living room and he had no clue where his uniform jacket was. Ah god, what did any of that _matter_ when he had this?

Naked and beautiful in the way all new things where, Edward Elric lay beneath him in a tangle of cotton bed sheets, moaning every time Roy touched him. Roy hovered over him, relearning every nuance of the teen’s responsive frame and delighting in each rediscovered place of delight.

Ed was unusually compliant, incredibly responsive and desperately yearning.

Roy was so happy, so utterly relieved to have him back he wouldn’t dream of attempting to have Ed get him off tonight. Not a chance. Tonight would be all about Ed.

But then Ed got wandering hands.

When Roy lowered himself and dragged his body up the boy’s own, Ed actually put his hands on Roy’s ass. He spread his legs wider without being nudged, arched up at the right time to bring their groins together and began to _grind_.

What exactly had Ed been researching in Central?

Roy was held captive as a 15 year old boy kneaded his ass and ground his erection into Roy’s own. Then the self-same 15 year old boy leaned up and bit his chin gently. Very, very gently. Whining until Roy lowered his lips to be claimed, giving him a hard buck with that grind.

And Roy…. Roy _came_.

He laid on his back, hand over his face with Ed purring into his shoulder like it was the best thing in the world.

Roy Mustang had not hair trigged since he was goddamn 15 years old himself.

Ed hadn’t been upset. He had been bewildered by Roy’s breathless apology, had come delightfully quickly himself with Roy’s apologetic application of lips on his cock and was cuddling like mad, so incredibly pleased with himself, Roy thought he might burst.

Wasn’t that what this was all about? Ed being happy?

Well just look at him. Look at him.

Ed looked happy.

Roy smiled. Well, as long as that was the case, then it was ok.

 

The next morning found Roy across the breakfast table from a sleepy, mussed Ed. Ed was shoveling eggs in his mouth and every now and again he’d glance up at Roy, as if to make sure he was still really there, then went back to fork vs. mouth combat.

Roy positively restrained himself from leaning his elbows on the table with his chin in his palms and mooning over his young lover.

Yes, his young _lover_.

Roy Mustang was never one to argue with fate _(too much)_.

When Ed had finished, and that meant he’d actually shoved his plate at Roy _(Al has you so spoiled! Does not! Shut up!)_ for him to put in the sink, Roy came around the table to him and caught Ed’s face in his hands. He pulled blonde hair forward to frame out the golden eyes, he ran the pads of his thumbs over the apple of Ed’s cheeks and he leaned down to dot the now blushing teen’s face with gentle kisses. Eyelids and nose, cheeks and forehead, chin and lips.

“Ok, I have meetings all morning, so you don’t have to come in until 1:00 or so, but I expect you by then,” more small kisses, “You go home and you thank Al for me for making you wear something besides that black tank top you like,” Roy grinned at the sudden sullen mumble, then more kisses, “And tonight when I get off work, I’m taking you to Sardi’s for a nice big welcome home steak, ok? So dress nice for me and leave your hair down.”

Roy pulled back and looked at Ed.

The smile the boy had on his face was so bright it was almost painful to look at.

“Ok,” came the teen’s breathless response.

 

Al watched his brother drift into the dorm room and then flop in a boneless heap on his bed.

“It was that good, huh?” Al asked.

“It was fuckin’ heaven,” Ed purred.

 

At precisely 1:15 that afternoon, the Elric brothers strode into the big office. Ed emptied the pockets of his big red coat onto the large staff-occupied table where a scrabble fight ensued over the candy bars. Al regaled them all with ‘The Perils of Ms. Pete’, a slightly risqué moving picture they’d seen while in Central. The staff ‘ooh’ and ‘aahh’d appropriately. Ed told them all about a goulash he’d had at a Drachman restaurant that had, get this, lima beans in it, and was still _good!_ The staff was suitably impressed.

Then Ed turned his big golden eyes on the Colonel, who was sitting at his desk pretending to look busy (but was really watching the show) and stated for the staff’s benefit, that he didn’t really bring that bastard anything because with what that bastard was making, he should be treating all of them to something nice.

The bastard in question merely said that such poor manners were not actually a reflection on FullMetal’s mother, but rather one of his very own _short_ comings.

Pandemonium reigned for a little while after that.

At 3:25, Roy said that Edward was excused for the day because the boy had gotten bored, taken up residence in front of the Colonel’s desk and was playing with the little bronze cannon, rolling it back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. He looked so damn cute doing it, the Colonel was having trouble working. As Ed stood to leave, Roy mouthed ‘Seven’, which turned Ed’s nose a shade of red that threatened his cheeks. He turned and hurried out, calling for Al to follow him. Al made hasty goodbyes, jumped up from the staff table where he’d been doing Breda’s paperwork and rushed off after his brother.

When Al caught up, Ed looked up at him, bit his lower lip and said: “Take me clothes shopping.”

Al stopped, put a hand to his chest and said: “If I had a heart, I’d be dead right now.”

Ed snorted and trudged on ahead.

 

Now Al sat back and watched with some pleasure as his elder brother posed and preened in front of the full length mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door.

Edward Elric, State Alchemist.

Was wearing.

A suit.

Ed looked over at Al and spread his arms.

“I look like a dork, don’t I?” he said.

“No,” Al said, “Actually it makes you look …..older!”

Ed growled.

“I know you thought I was going to say taller,” Al snickered, “that’s why I drew it out.”

Al didn’t mind the following tirade; he’d heard them all by now.

 

Al opened the door and titled his head at the Colonel. Replete and splendid in his uniform and trench, he tilted his head back and smiled up at the armored boy.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Al said, “he’s worn a hole in the floor pacing around the table.”

Ed came charging over then, pushing past Al and looking up at Mustang.

Roy blinked.

He took a step back.

Ed’s cheeks colored up.

“I told you I looked like a dork,” he wailed to his younger brother, taking a step back into him, feeling Al’s hand on his back.

“No,” Both Al and Mustang said at the same time.

“This is my cue to exit,” Al said, shoving Ed at the Colonel and closing the dorm room door.

“No,” the Colonel said, sounding a little breathless, “you look magnificent.”

Ed thought he might seep right into the ground.

Roy cleared his throat.

“I have a driver, so please excuse me if I don’t offer you my arm, I don’t think it would look quite right for me to be escorting a male subordinate that way. But I want to offer my arm, Ed.” He smiled.

It was awful and it was wonderful and Ed was simply terrified. He nodded.

Roy led the way to the car. The driver, a corporal, opened the door for them. Ed slid in first and Roy after. The driver shut the door, climbed in and started the car. He already knew the evening’s destination, so it left Ed and Roy free to talk.

Only neither said a word.

It was when they were almost there that it struck Roy that Al knew, and it struck Roy that he had just assumed Al knew.

After all, Al spent far too much time with First Lieutenant Hawkeye.

That made him a bit uncomfortable.

When Roy got out at the restaurant, he automatically offered his hand to the stunning young man exiting the car behind him. Ed looked at it, at him, then worriedly in the direction of the driver and Roy caught the slip, pulling his hand back and sticking it in his pocket.

Damn social conventions.

Edward looked so tense, so star struck with the whole thing that Roy felt a bit guilty for not taking him out sooner. They went into the restaurant and Roy checked his coat. _(Ed marveled at that, letting someone take his coat, a stranger!)_ Then they followed a pleasant young hostess to the recesses of the restaurant. Roy was well known here and his requests were always honored. Tucked in the back, partially obscured by a row of large potted palm plants, was a discreet alcove for two, decked with roses and candelight.

The hostess glanced at the Colonel and then at the boy, but because she was paid very well for discretion, she merely smiled and left.

Roy moved to one of the chairs and pulled it out, smiling over at Ed.

Ed stood frozen on the spot.

 _What am I doing? What if someone sees us?_

 _They could take his rank away._

 _They could take my watch._

 _Why am I letting him do this?_

Roy straightened up a little, brows taking on an edge of concern.

Ed moved. He walked forward, sat down and allowed Roy to push his chair in.

 _If he’s willing, I’m willing. Equivalent trade._

“This is really fancy,” Ed started, voice hushed, “I’ve never been in a place so fancy,” Ed fingered the edge of the napkin at his place, “Are you sure this is ok?” he finished up and looked up at the Colonel.

“I’m sure,” Roy said, “I do incentives for subordinates all the time, yours is just a little extra special,” Roy smiled the sat up straighter as a waitress appeared with menus.

They both studied the menus in companionable silence. After what seem the appropriate time, the waitress reappeared.

Ed glanced up at Roy, corners of his mouth pulled down.

“I’m going to have the porterhouse steak,” Roy said smoothly. “Might I suggest that to you, Edward. It’s really a fine cut, I’ve never gone wrong ordering it here before.”

The corners of Ed’s mouth turned up, because Roy was treating him like an adult and helping him at the same time.

“That’s an excellent suggestion Colonel,” Ed said in his most refined tones, “I’ll have that too since you recommend it so highly.” Ed thought he sounded terribly adult.

Roy quickly snapped the menu upright in front of his face to hide his grin. Oh _please_ , he just couldn’t laugh.

After the menus disappeared _(and Roy was in control of his mirth)_ the two of them regarded each other across the table.

Roy started.

“So, how was the trip?” he said.

“Long and boring,” Ed nodded, “like usual, well not actually boring. I had a lot to think about.”

“Oh, what were you thinking about?” Roy said.

“Oh you know, getting back, what was going to happen, what I was going to say to you…and stuff.” The teen suddenly blushed.

“Stuff?” Roy grinned.

“Shuddup,” Ed mumbled.

“But I like stuff, so do you,” Roy teased gently. “I especially like watching you like the stuff.”

Ed’s mouth hung open, then as predicted he covered his face with elegantly gloved white hands.

“Just shuddup!” came the muffled reply.

 

Absurdly charming. Innocent and yet not, and in his own stuttering way, the most unconsciously sexy creature ever to grace Roy Mustang’s bed, and they haven’t even _really_ had sex yet.

Well, tonight The Flame Alchemist was going to fix that.

 

The look on Ed’s face half way through his steak gave Roy momentary pause, because Edward already looked to be in orgasmic bliss. Damn, Roy never should have recommended the porterhouse, but dinner was a smashing success. Edward, when he was relaxed, was surprisingly witty. Engagingly thoughtful and current with the events in the world around them, Roy found him to be a marvelous dinner conversationalist, and why shouldn’t he be? The boy was smart, no not just smart, the boy was brilliant, opinionated and resolute. Roy was amazed at how Edward’s ability to assert himself, to always speak his mind, translated over so well into an ability to bewitch the most skeptical critic with a few short phrases. Edward was very well book learned, much more than Roy himself, but he never made Roy feel uncomfortable. Instead of being condescending with his knowledge, he sought to share it. He leaned over the table when speaking to Roy, holding his eyes and Roy found it impossible to look away.

No wonder Edward always managed to get what he wanted. The Colonel included.

He really was the unstoppable force.

As a boy in a white jacket cleared the dishes away, Roy waved over the waitress.

“I’ll have a cognac,” the Colonel said, leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs, the picture of casual elegance, “And bring the dessert tray by for my guest here.”

The poor girl was of course completely wooed.

 _He’s too good at that, I should be jealous._ Ed thought wryly.

But it struck him after she flitted away what had really just went on.

“You know just because I’m a ki… young, doesn’t mean I always want that sugary stuff, I’d rather have what you’re having,” Ed snorted.

Roy looked over at him.

“Why I have no doubt you could probably handle what I’m having, the law says you have to be an age that you are not. That is not a slight on your maturity, please don’t take it as such,” Roy said with a gentle smirk.

Ed snorted.

“I know you think I have this horrible sweet tooth, but I really don’t. Al says I eat because I’m bored and…” Ed was interrupted by the arrival of the dessert tray, his eyes got a little wide. “How many can I have?” he asked the Colonel.

Roy enjoyed watching Ed with his eyes closed in bliss. He was on his second slice of banana cream pie. Roy swirled the fine cognac, letting his thoughts sink to lower places, hoping to be able to top the look on Ed’s face tonight with something much lower in calories.

Ed opened his eyes and in turn, eyed the large brandy snifter in Roy’s hand. The Colonel looked so dashing sitting back in his chair, legs crossed, elbow on the table and that neat big glass resting in his palm, stem between his fingers. Surely one sip wouldn’t hurt.

“Let me try it,” Ed put down his fork.

“You won’t like it Edward,” Roy said, “it’s an acquired taste. I don’t think you even like wine. I remember you turning your nose up at it during the office holiday party.”

“I didn’t like _that_ wine, it was sour,” Ed countered, “How do you know I won’t like it, I’ve never tried it. Just a little sip, no one will see.”

“Trust me when I say you won’t like it, this is very expensive brandy and I don’t want to see it dribbling down your chin _(because I can’t lick it off in public)_ and wasted. Do you want another slice of pie?” With that Roy sat the snifter on the table and turned to signal the waitress.

Ed shouldn’t, he just shouldn’t. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t.

He reached over and lifted the snifter in his flesh hand, slipping the stem between his fingers just as Roy had done, and lifted the glass, pulling to his face. Just then, because Roy was turning back around and would catch him at it, he up ended the glass and let the amber liquid slosh over his teeth and down his throat.

Edward’s insides caught on fire, particularly his throat.

“Ed,” Roy’s exasperated gasp reached his ears, but the Colonel was all blurry because Ed’s eyes were tearing up and even though he was trying as hard as he could not to gag, he did. He gagged, he coughed, he slammed the glass and his automail hand down on the table, and he knocked over the candle there. It pitched forward, splattering the back of his automail hand, and Roy’s all too flesh one, with hot wax as it fell.

Roy snatched his hand back and hissed, Ed wretched again and shook his head. The candle sputtered but the flame leapt to the few drops of cognac that had made it to the tablecloth, causing it to smolder and catch fire.

Ed jumped up.

Roy jumped up.

One would think Roy being who he is would have a handle on things that concerned fire. As far as starting one, or roasting someone or something with it, he was beyond proficient. As a matter of fact, he was just about as close to barbequing perfection as any mortal man could get. While this served him so well in his chosen field, it did little to serve him in a non-combative situation. He did, however, grasp that the flame needed to be extinguished. In order to live, fire needed oxygen; that was the basis of his own alchemy. In order to die, a flame needed to be smothered, and so with no real rational thought in his head, Roy Mustang lifted the large brandy snifter, up ended it and slammed it down over the tiny blaze flickering merrily away on the tablecloth.

The last trickles of a very fine cognac suddenly flowed the convex sides of the glass and rushed down to the dying flame, and by some fluke or miracle that could only happen to someone like Roy Mustang when he was out with someone like Edward Elric, the brandy snifter _shattered_ into a fine spray of crystal shards, scattering out around the table. It was an oddly pretty sight for a moment, thought Roy, as the glass beneath his hand gave way and he jerked his hand back in panic. Edward on the other hand, was a bit more demonstrative. He jerked his whole body back, slammed up against one potted palm and then, with all the grace that a state alchemist should possess but didn’t, went head over heels as the pot fell backwards, leaving a large gaping hole in their previously intimate wall of greenery, which left Roy Mustang wide eyed and slack jawed in full view of the other diners. Edward jumped to his feet, hair wild and eyes wide, while a quick-witted bus boy rushed over, white jacket almost faster than the eye could see, and beat at the table even though the flame had already gone out. Edward brushed at his suit and slowly seemed to notice that they had an audience. This normally would not be a problem for the teen, since he was used to attracting unwanted attention, but for some reason… the situation, the location, the man with him… it robbed him of all his usual self-confidence. Because his mind blanked and then fled, he did the only thing he could think to do. He raised one shaky finger and pointed it at Roy Mustang.

Ed was almost running to keep up with the Colonel as he stalked out of the restaurant. He reached out, fingers snagging on the sleeve of Roy’s coat and tried to pull him to a stop. Roy whipped his head around with a set jaw and gave him a black ice look that caused Edward to swallow and trot harder to keep up.

“I’m sorry,” the boy cried, “I don’t know what came over me! I didn’t mean to point at you like that, it wasn’t entirely your fault!”

Roy stopped and whirled on the boy. Ed’s eyes widened, but his very nature made him hold his ground.

“Wasn’t entirely MY FAULT?” Roy exploded, “You tell me, Edward Elric, just what part of that debacle in there _was_ my fault?!”

“I…I would think you would know that alcohol was flammable,” Ed stammered and flapped his arms. “You know, you should know what is and isn’t flammable!”

Roy kept his mouth firmly shut and instead turned back to see that the car had been brought around to the curb with the corporal standing at attention at the rear door.

“I need some air,” Roy growled, “You’re dismissed for the evening, I’ll be walking home.”

“Sir!” barked the corporal, snapping a salute.

Roy strode around the front of the car, looked both ways and crossed the street heading into the East City park that stood between Sardi’s and his apartment.

“Me too,” Ed said, rushing by the corporal and chasing after the Colonel.

“Sir!” barked the corporal again and snapped another salute, but Ed was already across the street dogging Roy’s footsteps.

 _I just need to think! It wasn’t that bad, it’s mostly embarrassment. I just need to calm down, a walk will do me good. He was only curious, it’s alright. Just breath._

“I’m sorry,” Ed’s voice sounded behind him along with his footsteps, “I shouldn’t have drunk your drink, but I don’t know what I like and I don’t like it if I don’t get to taste it.”

 _I told you that you wouldn’t like it, that should have been enough. I also told you in the most polite way possible that you were too young to be drinking it. Funny my priorities, you’re too young to drink but you’re not to young for me to put my mouth and hands all over._

“You know if you hadn’t been so snarky about it and didn’t try to foist off another piece of pie on me like I’m some little kid, then I wouldn’t have done it,” Ed insisted behind him, “I thought we were being equals in there, I mean you weren’t talking down to me or anything and you shouldn’t be so mad about it! I’ll pay you back!”

 _Snarky? I was the example of gentlemanly deference. I was treating you like an equal and it’s not about the damn money. No, I wasn’t talking down to you, I was trying to keep up with you. But you just had to go and turn the defiance card on me and remind me just how young you actually are._

They were about half way through the park at this point. It was late enough that they had it to themselves.

“I can’t help it if you got all embarrassed,” Ed started and Roy whirled on him once again.

“Edward, just be quiet!” he snapped. He turned back toward his apartment and let his momentum carry him.

 _Just be quiet and let me calm the hell down because dammit, you’re right, I got embarrassed, and I don’t want to be mad at you because I got embarrassed._

He stopped and looked both ways when the came to the other side of the park and then glanced behind him to wait for Ed.

But Ed wasn’t there.

 _Oh for the love of…_

It didn’t take long to back track to the lone figure sitting dejectedly on a bench to the side of the path. His gloved hands were the most notable thing about him since they were robed in white, clasped loosely between his knees. He was leaning forward a little, head down, as if he was thinking.

Roy stood and admired the sight a moment, then took a breath and walked over.

Ed looked up at him, the dim light from far off street lamps did reflect a bit in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything, and he made no move to stand.

“Come on,” Roy held out his hand, “Sitting here isn’t going to accomplish anything. I’m not mad at you Edward; I was just a little frustrated.”

Ed lifted his hand, slipped it into Roy’s and stood. Roy laced his fingers with the boy’s and gave him a little tug, drawing him to his side, then turned them back up the path.

“Don’t say you’re sorry anymore,” Roy said quickly before Ed could say anything, “You’ve said it enough and I forgave you the moment you tumbled over that potted plant, really. Oh Ed, that was _priceless_.” The Flame Alchemist chuckled.

“Oh yeah,” Ed piped up beside him, gently squeezing his fingers, “Not as priceless as the look on your face when I pointed at you, bastard.”

The Flame Alchemist’s chuckle became a laugh that echoed behind them as they left the park.

 

Tonight was the night. Roy had to make sure Edward was ready. In order to make sure he was really ready there would have to be lots of long, drawn out, hot foreplay.

It started slowly, the moment they walked in the door. The coats were dutifully put in their places, then Roy’s lips dutifully sought Edward’s and Edward’s back dutifully sought the wall and they stayed that way for a few moments, lips and hand wandering.

Then Roy decided that Edward needed to lie on the couch and let Roy have at least his shirt. This was easily accomplished because Edward wanted to give Roy his shirt and getting to lie on the couch was just a little bonus. But once there, Roy got to put his lips all over Ed’s throat and chest and nipples and stomach and Ed got to moan a lot and squirm and make enticing sounds and arch his hips. All of these things were just fine with Roy, but soon it was time for more.

Ed was practically boneless by now, and richly flushed. Roy lifted him up off the couch and scooped him into his arms. The boy giggled, but didn’t fight it. Instead, he laid his cheek on the Colonel’s shoulder and put his arms around his neck, blinking in surprise as they walked into the kitchen.

“Open that cabinet for me,” Roy said; indicating with his head which one Ed should open.

Ed pulled it open and looked back at Roy.

“Grab that bottle of cooking oil there,” Roy said cheerfully and Ed complied, looking a little puzzled.

“Shut the cabinet door,” Roy said giving Ed a little bounce in his arms, and Ed did so and grinned.

“What is the oil for?” Ed asked as the Colonel carried him out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bedroom.

“Tonight’s lesson is going all the way, Ed,” Roy said and kicked the bedroom door open.

Roy took his time in baring Ed. There was no need to rush; everything now would need to be slow and relaxed, soft and sensual. He wanted Ed to feel abandon and he wanted Ed to desire more than what had come before. Ed sat up as Roy finally tugged his pants free of his feet and reached for Roy’s shirt. Roy stood still, letting Ed work the buttons, alternately stroking the skin of Roy’s chest. He obligingly shrugged it off his shoulders when Ed pushed it open, and stroked through blonde hair when Ed leaned forward and kissed his stomach. It was important that Ed participate in this too, that Ed learn that giving pleasure could be just as satisfying as receiving it, although Ed had been doing a very good job of picking that up as of late.

He quickly finished undressing himself, despite the blonde’s protests, and moved up over Ed on the bed, leaning down to kiss the parted lips and setting to work with his hands in all the places Ed liked to be touched. Ed of course was a prodigy, because even though he moaned in pleasure and writhed for Roy’s lips and fingers, he too began to seek Roy’s places on his own and strived to hear Roy’s moans.

The unexpected touch of cool automail fingers on his erection made Roy jerk, but then he stilled and waited. He in no way wanted to discourage Ed from using his mechanical limb, he never wanted to give Ed the impression that he was disgusted by it, because naturally the opposite was true. He had seen Ed handle all manner of delicate things with his steel fingers and felt confident that Ed had the control necessary to maneuver the mechanical arm in this situation, too. He was proven satisfyingly right when the pleasantly cool fingers lightly wrapped around his very hot cock and began to stroke softly. He returned the favor, first scratching though golden curls and then letting his fingers find the ridges and veins of the teens own erection before gripping and stroking as well.

Ed was still new enough that he never lasted very long, and it was alright that he had abandoned stroking Roy a little while ago in favor of arching and gasping as Roy expertly worked him. In fact, it was more than alright as Roy watched the automail fingers practically burrow into the mattress under them.

Ed came with a delighted half shout; panting and smiling and looking up at Roy.

“That’s only your first time tonight,” Roy said with a grin, leaning over and dropping another kiss on the boy’s panting lips.

For awhile they just laid together, Roy holding Ed close and stroking his head and back, kissing his flushed face and whispering in his ear soft funny things to make the boy laugh.

Ed pressed close, pulled on Roy’s shoulders and burrowed under his chin.

“I remember that teach,” he said with a sigh against Roy’s throat, “that was lesson one, is tonight going to be a review?” he laughed.

“A review and then the test,” Roy said, nosing through blonde hair, “right now I’m giving you time to study up for your next lesson.”

“I fuckin’ love school,” Ed sighed.

It wasn’t long before Roy moved Ed up into the pillows and proceeded to try and swallow the boy’s tongue. Ed was extremely helpful in offering it, pressing his mouth hard to Roy’s and arching up to rub himself against the delightful adult male body over him. Ed loved to rub against Roy; he even did it fully clothed in a supply closet at work. Roy really needed to stop that practice, it made the rest of the day a living hell.

Roy finally tore his mouth away, fended off Ed’s grabby hands and moved his lips south, pausing just briefly at Ed’s navel because he loved Ed’s snorting giggles, but then right straight to business, closing his lips over the head of that impudent cock. Ed’s cock rarely obeyed the laws of gravity or physics. Roy swore it could stick straight up when it wanted to and seemed to have a life all of it’s own when introduced to an interesting, warm, cave-like place, like say Roy’s mouth. Ed’s bouncing and squirming didn’t help either and Roy had to hold the boy’s hips down to keep Ed from all out committing murder by accidental suffocation.

But the hair pulling was new. Ed was finally getting into using his hands and Roy supposed he was glad, because it was about time. Even if Ed was trying to yank him bald, he should take it as the compliment it was.

“Ah, ah, Colonel!” Ed gasped.

Well, another new twist! Ed was calling his name. That was down right sexy. He certainly must have thought hard on that train ride from Central, or read a book, or something. Maybe pointers from Al, but it was resolute denial that a certain mousy walking library _might_ actually have something to do with it.

Ed sat up and pushed Roy’s head down, another new development. Roy didn’t like this one though and put a hand on Ed’s chest to push the boy back. Ed grunted and strained, with only one hand on Ed’s hips, now it was harder to control him. Roy pulled up to keep from gagging and snorted his own frustration that his previously timid pupil was seemingly becoming quite wanton.

“Let me buck,” Ed suddenly demanded, “let me move my damn hips!”

That was it, Ed was never going to Central alone again without a chastity belt and an armed guard and if Roy _ever_ found out who taught all this sexual rudeness to Ed, why he’d fry them. Roy was going to have to do some damage control now and he didn’t appreciate it. He was sure Ed’s future wife would not appreciate this hair-pulling, demanding sort of sex any more than he did.

But Ed came despite his howls and squirming and lay sprawled in the pillows. Roy pulled up panting and looking a little surly, but pleased. He reached over to the bedside table and got the bottle of cooking oil, poured some into the palm of his hand, and then worked it up his fingers after setting the bottle aside again. With both hands oiled he reached down and gripped Ed’s still throbbing cock and began to stroke again.

“You must have,” Ed gasped, arched, and moaned, “really liked that suit,” he finished on a ragged breath.

“I did,” Roy said, smiling slowly, “but I like it better on the floor over there,” He eased one finger over the sensitive skin behind Ed’s balls and trailed it slowly back to Ed’s anus.

Ed grunted and turned his head to the side, legs still obligingly spread, licking his lips and furrowing his brows.

Roy kept on stroking, firm and not too slow, his other finger traced a light circle around Ed’s opening and then slowly back and forth. Ed still made no move to reject the touch, instead he panted harder and if possible spread his legs wider, making a soft keening noise.

Roy moved slowly, nice and easy, and pressed his finger to the opening. Then with increasing pressure, he moved it inside only to the first knuckle, never slowing on working Ed’s erection, and waited. His eyebrows climbed, he licked his lips, he nosed the pillow under his head and dug his fingers into the sheets, but he seemed to be waiting, to see what was going to happen next.

Good, good, he really was a prodigy.

Roy leaned forward, letting the movement push his finger deeper, until it was buried inside him. Ed was tight, of course he was tight, patience Mustang, patience. All your hard work is going to pay off, all your indulgence is going to pay off. Ed made a grunt, made his first squirm and gritted his teeth. Roy held still and slowly his features relaxed again, but he was bearing down on Roy’s finger now, more by accident than design and Roy finally felt some impatience of his own as his cock throbbed.

Roy moved his finger in a circular motion once, then twice, seeking. Ed grunted, gasped, and shifted, finally opening his eyes and turning his head to look at Roy.

“It’s ok,” Roy soothed, “it’s ok, just stay relaxed.”

Ed nodded, watching Roy’s face. Roy smiled and slowly began to introduce finger number two.

Ed shuddered, licked his lips and whimpered at the duel sensations of the throbbing of his own cock and the strange intrusion in a place no one had ever touched before, not even himself. He tightened down when Roy had the second finger only half way in and Roy stopped and waited patiently. After a few moments, the small chest heaved, Ed relaxed again and Roy pressed.

Two fingers in and Ed was doing fine. Roy admired the boy, golden hair splayed over pillows, golden eyes fixed with some uncertainty on Roy’s face, beautiful young body spread on Roy’s sheets. There was certainly nothing finer than this, and now finally they were on their way, true lovers at last, not just mutual masturbation machines.

Roy separated his fingers slightly and Ed again grunted. Roy supposed this was going to be Ed’s standard response to any anal penetration and Roy once again moved them about, seeking that one sweet spot. By now his stroking on Ed’s still turgid cock had slowed, but Ed seemed to be more preoccupied with the new sensations and was not complaining. Up, down, deeper, shallower, come on Ed give it up.

He hooked his fingers slightly and Ed gasped and arched.

Found it.

He took shameless advantage of it. Roy began to stroke Edward on the inside, both fingers moving independently of each other, over an over and Ed whined, closed his eyes and arched his head back. Yes, oh yes, that’s the way, that’s my love, that’s my golden boy.

 _So goddamn beautiful. Look at him, open for me, moaning for me. I am yours and you don’t even know it. I think I’m afraid for you to know it._

He worked Ed for quite a while before gently withdrawing his fingers. Ed made a confused noise, a bereft sob and opened his eyes again, looking at Roy with lovely confusion.

Roy smiled, taking Ed’s hips and placing a pillow beside them. He rolled Ed over onto it and retrieved the oil once again.

Ed looked over his shoulder at him, watching him, golden eyes soft and half lidded. He was so very relaxed, and Roy was so very grateful for it.

Ed’s ass was all kinds of hot. Roy wished he hadn’t promised the boy he wouldn’t bite, but it would never be said that he didn’t kiss Edward Elric’s ass and he indulged, raining kisses all over two pale cheeks, earning scandalized giggles from the teen and little ticklish wiggles.

“You’re so silly,” Ed laughed and buried his face in a pillow.

Roy Mustang’s heart did a little flip and the funniest feeling he’d ever felt in his life settled in his stomach. What the hell was that?

He oiled up his fingers once more and with only minimal coaxing was able to introduce two again, moving them about, stretching Ed some more before moving between his legs finally and giving a bit of attention to his eager cock.

Roy moved up a bit more between Ed’s thighs, stroked himself a time or two, then bracing himself on one arm, pressed the head of is cock against Ed’s anus. Ed shifted a little but otherwise seemed to remain relaxed. With a bit of pressure, Roy breached the ring and began to slowly sink in. Ed gasped. Fingers were one thing, but this was a totally different sensation. Roy stilled, just the head passed the entrance, and willed himself to be calm, to be patient, to let Ed adjust.

This was both heaven and hell and he damn sure hoped he survived it, because now he was getting eager. Now he wanted the abandon which was something he couldn’t afford, because it was Ed’s turn to give. Come on Ed, relax.

He waited for what he thought to be an appropriate adjustment time, or what his feverish mind thought to be an appropriate adjustment time, and leaned forward again. Again, Edward gasped, except this time he whimpered and he did the most amazing thing. Seemingly using only his stomach muscles, he inched forward on the bed, so that the precious centimeter or two of depth Roy’s yearning cock had reached was suddenly back to square one, with only the head submerged.

It was kinda funny. Roy rubbed the smooth expanse of back in front of him soothingly, tugged playfully at the ends of golden hair. Ok, here we go again. He leaned forward. Ed scooted like a centipede with invisible legs. Another few moments of waiting, another try, another scoot. In this maddening, excruciating, frustrating way, Roy chased Ed all the way across the bed until the boy’s shoulders were hanging over the opposite side.

He wanted to scream to the rafters, he wanted to pound his fist into a wall, he wanted to sob like a baby. But what he did was lower his forehead to the panting teens back and laugh. He laughed long and hard. It was just all so frustrating and all so wonderful and all so _Ed_ , that he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Why did he think, even for one minute, that he was going to have a fairly normal, extremely hot encounter with anything as unstoppable, as completely untamed as the FullMetal Alchemist. Oh it was all too rich, the great Roy Mustang, lover of women, loved by women, brought to crawling across a bed, centimeter by centimeter, because he was owned body and soul by a 15 year old boy who did not appear to want anal sex in the slightest.

When he finally opened his eyes and raised his head, Ed was staring at him over his shoulder like he had lost his mind.

Roy took pity, he backed up, withdrew and heard Ed heave a sigh of relief.

Roy flopped over onto his back and wiped tears of hilarity from his eyes. Ed pushed himself up, turned around and sat up on his knees looking down at Roy.

“You’re not mad?” he asked.

Roy shook his head no.

“I’m really sorry,” Ed stammered, “If you want we can try again, aim me at the headboard, I won’t be able to get very far.”

Roy seized up in peals of laughter.

Ed’s mouth quirked a little too.

“Really not mad,” the teen prodded again.

“No Ed, how can I be mad at you?” Roy asked, “I love you.”

They both blinked and said not another word.


	7. Chapter 7

“We have to have a plausible cover,” Ed said.

“I know, I could be your bodyguard,” Al said.

“No better yet, you could be my long lost pal, I could call you Benny,” Ed said.

“Betty?” Al squeaked, “That’s a girl’s name!”

“No, I didn’t say ‘Betty’, I said ‘Benny’,” Ed said, flapping his arms.

“No thanks,” his younger brother said, “You can call me Al.”

Ed slouched back against the seat of the train car. He poked out with one foot and put it on Al’s metal knee. He soon realized if he pushed, Al’s foot went up. Ed seemed to find this terribly entertaining.

Al folded his arm and watched Ed make his metal leg lift and fall a few more times.

“Let’s stick to being brothers,” Al said, “I like that better than espionage.”

Ed looked up and grinned.

“Me too,” Ed said, and he continued to poke Al’s knee.

“Especially with the way you behave,” Al continued, making no move to stop Ed, if this would keep him occupied and quiet, “I’d much rather have people know we are related and pretty much have to be together than have people think I want to be seen with you.”

  
*****

  
Roy Mustang wasn’t sure who the Gods of Irony had it out for, himself or the FullMetal Alchemist.

Right when they needed time together, they needed to talk; a great big juicy lead had plopped right on Roy’s desk. In fact, it was the last report of the six Hawkeye had handed him yesterday and it was the only one worth reading.

After reading it, he called over Havoc. He scribbled out a quick note and deposited his silver pocket watch on the desk within Havoc’s reach.

“Go over to the library and tell them I want all the archived files on Redding Maddox,” he said.

Havoc picked up the note and the watch, arched an eyebrow, shrugged and went to run the errand.

When Ed came in that day, there was a little shrine to Redding Maddox, The Engineering Alchemist, set up on the big table. He started toward the big desk, but the Colonel said, “Take a look at that material on the table, Ed.”

So he made a sharp left and walked over to the files and large newspaper archive books spread out for him. Roy stood and walked over to join him in his examination.

Almost 55 years ago a modern marvel named Redding Maddox constructed bridges that everyone else thought impossible, and he did it all using alchemy. Of course Ed was terribly interested, because he was a geek for alchemy and he immediately plopped down in the chair and pulled the big newspaper archive book close, his quick golden eyes voraciously drinking in the words almost quicker than Roy could follow. He turned the page before Roy himself was even halfway through. Ed leaned forward to study a very fuzzy photograph of a man with a heavy mustache, square jaw and proud bearing standing in front of a massive and heavily footed bridge truss.

The caption beneath the photo read: ‘The Engineering Alchemist does it again! The Camberly Gap Bridge is complete!

Ed’s lips drew down duly impressed and he glanced back at Roy.

Roy smiled at him, and Edward turned back to his reading. After a while, Roy got tired of not being able to finish a page before Edward turned it _(and he’d read all he needed to beforehand anyway)_ so he returned to his desk. Edward finished the archive and moved onto the folders. He made short work of those, then turned in his chair and looked over at the Colonel.

“So this brilliant guy comes out of nowhere, gets a certification, uses alchemy to erect some of the most advanced modern bridges in the world, then has one of them collapse, faces a huge scandal and walks out of court one day never to be seen nor heard of again. That’s good drama Colonel,” Ed said.

“Yes, and not a year later his name was cleared,” Roy said, “It was discovered the bridge had been sabotaged.”

“I read that,” Ed said, “And I appreciate you finding ways to keep me entertained, but what has this to do with me, exactly?”

Roy patted the archive book on his desk that hadn’t been with the others. Ed got up and went over, and the Colonel opened the book and turned it so that Ed could see the headline on the top of the archived newspaper page.

Ed’s eyes widened. He gripped the book and pulled it closer.

The Engineering Alchemist seeks Philosopher’s Stone, the headline read.

“He was looking for the stone,” Ed murmured, he looked up at Roy.

“What’s more,” Roy said and pushed a report folder toward Ed, “he’s been found alive.”

Ed snatched up the folder, a picture fell out and wafted to Roy’s desk, Ed picked it up. A tiny old man bent over a cane was standing on the porch of a tiny wooden house. He flipped the file open and began to read.

Redding Maddox had taken the assumed name of Thomas Burt and had been living in a town called Pekinpaw for the last 40 years. He made his living as a cooper and pretty much kept to himself. But just recently, when the town’s only bridge has been washed out, he displayed some remarkable alchemic talent for a man so old and it immediately caught the attention of some passing alchemy students who brought the rumor of this miracle to the local precinct. From there, a second lieutenant had been dispatched to interview the man and he finally confessed the he was indeed Redding Maddox, The Engineering Alchemist, who was a national hero so long ago. The Second Lieutenant dutifully filed his report with the head of his post and it was sent along in a parcel post box to the Central Library for further processing. Once there, it fell into the most capable hands of a certain Lieutenant Colonel, who had it given the once over and when the stone connection was made it was rushed by train directly into the hands of First Lieutenant Hawkeye who made the Colonel stay late the previous day to get caught up for the current day, and that’s why Roy could have all the information ready and waiting when Ed strolled in just after lunch and made it look like he had produced an overnight miracle.

The overnight miracle Roy really wanted however, was to wind back time to a certain point last night and say a bit more to a certain flushing teenager he’d just confessed love to. The boy had shifted all around and finally pulled his own hair over his face to hide it. Roy had reached up and yanked him down against his chest and used his hands in gentle stroking motions and his lips on top of a very blonde head and _willed_ Ed to sleep. It seemed to have worked and after the boy dropped off, Roy groaned at himself and it wasn’t too much later when he followed suit. He’d woken Ed up early this morning, dragged the comatose teen to the shower, bathed him, fed him, dressed him and then delivered him to his brother at the dorms for more sleep.

Now those bright golden eyes were in his office, eagerly darting over information in a file folder from Roy’s own desk.

“Pekinpaw, where is that?” Ed asked.

“West, about 3 days by train,” Roy said.

“Right,” Ed said, “We’ll leave immediately.”

The rank and file had filtered back in during this time. Havoc was stacking up the information on the big table and Breda had sat down, but was rubbing his back on the chair like a red headed bear looking for a scratch. Cain walked up to Roy’s desk and put a file on it, giving Ed a smile in passing and Falman stood behind his chair as if waiting for his spine to unbend enough to sit down.

“I’m off then,” Ed said and turned, but then he turned back and saluted Roy, “Sir!” he said.

Roy blinked.

Then of course Ed knew it was a mistake.

From behind him he heard Breda snort a chuckled, and then:

“AW! Look at him salute! They grow up so fast!”

“We’re going to have to have an ittsy bittsy uniform made!”

“You guys leave him alone, it’s protocol to salute your superior officer.”

“You are just a suck up, quit trying to infect Ed with your hero-glazed mentality.”

“I think Edward has learned to salute very well.”

“Ed likes the Colonel, he’s saluting him.”

“He never liked the Colonel before, I guess his good looks just wore him down.”

“Quit picking on him.”

“It’s a good thing for a young person to learn respect for their elders.”

Ed whirled on the assembled crew and pointed.

“SHUT THE HELL UP!” he shrieked to Havoc and Breda’s smirking faces.

Cain rubbed the back of his head and Falman was in a half way sitting position.

“YOU...YOU ALL…JUST SHUT UP!” And Ed fled.

Havoc laughed after him and Breda grinned and Cain sighed and Falman tried to use leverage from the table to pull himself into a chair.

Roy blinked, then swallowed, and then grinned.

***

So that’s how Ed found himself on a train headed west to a place called Pekinpaw with his brother, trying desperately not to think of a certain bastard Colonel _(why the hell did I think saluting was a good idea)_ because thinking about the Colonel could accidentally make him _hard_. And he didn’t want that.

Ed finally left Al’s knee alone and now Al was immersed in one of _those_ books. He suspected he needed to have a little talk with Fuery so he would quit lending them to Al. Thinking of Fuery made him think of East City HQ and East City HQ made him think of a certain black-eyed, smirking, bastard.

He hadn’t even tried to defend him! He’d just let them laugh at him! But then again, that might seem a little funny… the Colonel jumping to his defense... FUCK! He didn’t need that bastard to jump to his defense! He could handle it all just fine on his own! So the Colonel’s little lackey’s laughed at him? So what? He still out ranked them, jerks, see if he brought them anything from Pekinpaw, but by the sounds of it there probably wasn’t anything in Pekipaw worth bringing them.

Ed slouched lower in the seat, jammed himself into the corner and stared out the window. Unbidden, his mind wandered to the night before and he tugged his collar up with he felt his cheeks heat up. That bastard’s hands, that bastard’s mouth, what that bastard had wanted to do… Ed still felt guilty about it, like he’d let that bastard down. Even thought the Colonel laughed and told him he wasn’t mad and it was ok. Ed still felt like he should be doing more. It always felt so good, but even that didn’t describe it. Now he always looked for a reason to go _back_ to East City rather than a reason to avoid going back. Because that bastard was there, that bastard that loved him.

Al hummed and turned the pages of his book a little quicker, must be at the good part. Ed smiled and thought about a Colonel sitting behind a desk looking bored out of his mind and doodling on a desk blotter with a fancy silver pen.

  
***

Well, no Edward tonight. It might be a blessing in disguise but it certainly didn’t feel like one at the moment. It felt rather lonely. He left the office as usual but there was no real reason to hurry home. He decided to take a walk in the mezzanine of the park and maybe stop and get a sandwich for dinner.

He headed for ‘his’ side of the park, the one in which the long rows of apartments were dominant. He rather liked the convenience of living close to such a pedestrian magnet, although initially he’d had doubts. When he chose to walk instead of ride home, his trip was dotted with tiny shops, tiny cafes, interesting newsstands and the friendly playful salute or two to his uniform. The thoughts of sandwiches drifted away when an A-frame chalkboard caught his eye proclaiming the night’s specialty was pork tenderloin glazed in apricot and rice; that sounded like a plan. He wondered if Ed would like it? Well, Ed was on a train, poor kid. Al was probably stuffing those greasy stuffed buns down his throat. That was typical train food.

“Well if it isn’t Hot Stuff, and look, he’s went and gotten himself a promotion,” a voice said to his left. He quirked an eyebrow and turned his head, widened his eyes, then felt a slow smirk crawl across his features.

“And if it isn’t Four Eyes,” he returned, hands going into pockets, entire demeanor relaxing into his lazy charm, “And she still dresses like a cross between a paperboy and a mad scientist.”

The woman, short brown hair, heavy framed glasses, dressed in a long canvas jacket, button down shirt, Capri length pants and clunk short boots made for hiking, gave him a genuine smile and shook her head.

“Long time no see, Flamey,” she continued.

“Ditto, Library Paste,” he returned.

Nothing like old friends to make lonely things fly away.

  
***

Anna Wagoner had been so unimpressed it burned. She was two years his senior when this pimply faced, barely out of puberty _boy_ had shown up on the door of their family home and began accosting her father, the then Lieutenant Colonel Harry Wagoner, The Fireball Alchemist, to be his _teacher_. Of all the nerve, of all the audacity. He was arrogant to the point of shallow, he would never drown in his own humility, he was so hard-bitten sarcastic, it was a wonder he could get directions to the bathroom from anyone and he was just an overall _jerk_. Naturally, he tried to paw her within 15 minutes of arriving. Anna could have said scalding things; she could have crushed his bourgeoning libido with a few well-directed comments concerning anatomy, but fortunately for Roy, she was Harry Wagoner’s daughter, and her kindness was greater than his own. Instead of making him an arrogant, sarcastic, jerk with his feeling hurt and being all bitter toward her, she made a friend of him.

It had been that way ever since, not that he had made it _easy_. She remembered that one turbulent summer, his constant complaints that her father spent too much time on the golf course, his general lack of any sort of aptitude for house work, and finding him in odd places _(like in the hallway, next to the bathroom door, sitting on the floor)_ with his nose in a book. All in all, Roy Mustang has been one big fat pain in the ass, but she still wrote him all sorts of lengthy letters and he still reciprocated, when his letters could find her, he always signed them… _you and your globe trotting ways, Flamey_.

“You like pork tenderloin?” he asked, pointing at the a-frame.

“I like free food in general,” she replied and preceded him into the café calling for a table for two.

***

  
“Carry me,” Ed said, leaning against a cool metal wall.

“I will not,” Al said, trying to shift away.

“But I’m tired and didn’t get much sleep on the train,” Ed complained and leaned harder.

“The walk will wake you up,” Al stated and picked up the suitcase.

“You know you say you forgive me for this whole armor thing,” Ed said, “but there are sometimes when I just find that a little hard to believe.”

“I’m wounded,” Al said, he started and patted all over his chest plate with his hand, “No wait,” Al continued, “my mistake. I think I’d have to feel wounded to be wounded,” he said flatly.

Ed worked his jaw for a moment.

“You know,” the elder brother said, “you’ve gotten this smarmy comment come back thing just about down to a science.”

Al patted Ed on top of his head.

“I learn at the feet of the master,” Al said.

  
In the end it was carry Ed or drag him, so Al plopped him up piggyback and walked the 4 and one half miles from the depot into the tiny town of Pekinpaw. He got his usual share of gawks and stares and added to his scorecard one elderly woman, who had been sitting outside her house shelling peas, who looked up when he walked by, rubbed her eyes and proceeded to mumble. She followed their progress down the road by leaning over further and further from her sitting position and kept rubbing her eyes every few seconds.

That, Al decided, had been a first class gawk. He stood in what might be the town square, but it was hard to tell, it looked more like a repository for the town livestock. He jostled Ed on his back.

“Brother, wake up,” Al said.

“No,” Ed said.

“Brother, wake up so I can set you down,” Al repeated patiently.

“No,” Ed grumbled.

“Brother, wake up or I’m going to back up to one of those interesting brown piles that goat just left and drop you,” Al stated.

“Fine,” Ed said, “I’m awake.”

  
Al sat Ed on his feet, and then he pushed him toward a local, who had predictably stopped to gawk. He felt sort of bad inflicting a grumpy, sleepy Ed on the man, but decided that misery loved company.

Ed stared blearily at the man who raised an eyebrow. This reminded Ed of the Colonel in some perverse way, but then everything lately reminded him of the Colonel in some perverse way, and that only served to tick him off. Because the Colonel had just sat there and let his little toadies laugh at him, and the more Ed thought about it, the more awake he became and the more his posture improved and the more presence he radiated and the man began to back away slowly.

Ed, being the master interrogator and gatherer of information he was, leapt into action.

“Hey YOU,” Ed pointed at the hapless local who was now plotting an escape route, “don’t even think about trying to run before I wring every last bit of local gossip from you that I can! I’m not playing around here, oh you might try to run but I’m faster, you might not think so but you haven’t seen me when I’m in a real lather, and see this guy behind me,” he jerked his thumb back at Al, “he’s even faster than me, and see all these things there, “Ed pointed wildly but was supposedly indicating Al’s spikes, “he’s also pointy. So if you ran and we had to chase you, why there isn’t any guarantee big and pointy here might not trip and land on you and OH I would so not want to be you if that happened. You’d be well ventilated. So stay still, listen up, and spill the beans!” Ed crowed.

“Please,” Al added weakly behind him.

It took them less than 3 minutes to find out who was sleeping with who, who had run off with who, who’s pig had piglets that day but were hidden in the woods so that extra tax wouldn’t have to be paid on them and oh yes, Thomas Burt? Why he lives right down this little dirt road. Can I go now sir, please?

It always amazed Al that Ed didn’t gather information so much as he extorted it, and it always _worked_.

Ed walked over to where the dirt road left the town ‘square’ and sighed, more walking. He blinked when Al’s hands landed on his shoulders and Al lifted one leg and attempted to hook it over his hip.

“HEY,” Ed yelled and twisted away.

“Carry me now,” Al said, “it’s only fair. Oh and the suitcase too.”

Ed’s jaw flapped with no grace.

“I can’t carry you!” he squawked.

“So much for equivalent exchange,” Al said, “And you could too if you tried.” He advanced on his wide-eyed sibling again.

Ed turned and trotted up the road.

“That’s pretty dangerous,” Al called after him, “You wouldn’t want me to chase you and ventilate you!” Al said, hefting the suitcase and starting Ed’s way.

Ed made a rude gesture and laughed.

Al also laughed and followed his brother toward their lead.

***

“So are you still studying… Micro… things…?” Roy waved his fork around and squinted at Anna across the table.

Her mouth flattened out and she sighed.

“Don’t even try to discuss my career with me,” she said flatly, “you didn’t care then and you don’t care now and there is no point in trying to pretend you care. All your un-caring-ness makes me care even less about discussing it with you,” she shook her head.

“Oh good,” Roy said, “because I really don’t care, it’s boring as all hell. So you notice I’m a Colonel now?” he grinned.

“Why yes I do, you great big pompous ass, congratulations. They have sunk their hooks even deeper into you, and you being the shameless hussy you are take advantage of it, don’t you? Tell me, when is the last time anyone has seen you out of uniform?” she smirked.

 _Last night, in my bed, thank you very much._

“Haha,” Roy said aloud.

Anna shrugged and grinned and dived into her pork. The way she ate reminded him a little of Ed. Then everything lately reminded him a little of Ed. He shifted in his chair and tried not to think about sleeping alone tonight. Through the rumor mill, mutual friends and small talk, they got through dinner and well past the polite time to be taking up the table. So, because Anna was his friend and nothing more and never would be more, he invited her back to his apartment for some very fine scotch and to keep her longer so Ed’s moans wouldn’t haunt his dreams all night. So, because she was his friend and maybe sensed he was a little lonely and wanted someone to talk to, she agreed and they had a pleasant walk through the park over to his apartment. He was right, the scotch was very fine.

Anna was a very rare and delicate thing to Roy. Anna was a woman who was his _friend_ , and that meant something. He always credited Maes Hughes for defining what friendship meant to him and he had placed it retroactively on Anna. Tall, thin, bookish Anna who thought that because she was two years his senior, she was two years his superior and even though she got his hackles up on more than one occasion, more often that not, she was right and he hated it! Oh he just hated it. Until he got older that is, and appreciated it. Amazing what a few years will do. Here he found himself wishing himself older already so he could see the appreciation in a pair of golden eyes.

And maybe, finally, have sex.

Anna appreciated scotch the way a fish appreciated the water. She crossed her legs, becoming right at home in his overstuffed leather chair and with all the perception he always remembered her having, she said: “So let’s hear if Flamey, there is something you are just _dying_ to discuss.”

“Ah, you know me too well for never being around me, how do you do it?” Roy asked, leaning back into the couch.

“You always scoff when I say women’s intuition,” she said and took a sip, “but it always turns up and bites you on the ass. Talk about denial.”

Roy stared into his glass for a moment.

“It’s very unorthodox,” he said, “and I’m not sure I should be sharing it.”

“Whoa, that’s the Colonel talking,” Anna said, “It must be something big. Well if you don’t want to tell me, my feelings won’t be hurt. But, I think you need to tell someone and if you do, then I’m here.”

Roy twirled the glass slowly, watching the amber liquid that in just the right light was the shade of Ed’s eyes.

***

The house was leaning to the left. Ed and Al leaned too, just to make sure they were seeing it right. Peeking over the slanted exterior of the roof was the point of a large barn.

“I’ll go knock on the door,” Ed said, “you stay here Al, that porch doesn’t look safe.”

“Ok,” Al readily agreed, because the porch didn’t look safe, but if Ed was willing to risk it, more power to him.

Ed knocked a couple of times. Then he knocked a few more, then he pounded, and then he froze because the porch creaked.

But the door opened and the man standing there, small, old, bald, and hunched over his cane, squinted at the young man and smiled.

Ed knew he’d just met his new best friend, because the little old man looked _up_ at him.

  
With a lot of coaxing, they got Al into the house. When Ed and Al both went to sit on the little sway-backed sofa, it let out a mighty moan and so Al, ever considerate of the neglected majority of inanimate objects’ feelings, sat on the floor.

“It’s my lucky day to have such fine young visitors,” The old man said, smiling a toothless smile, “I should make you some tea I think,” and he started to stand.

“Oh no sir,” Al said, and for armor, got to his feet with surprising speed, “let me do it, I’d be happy too.”

“That would be very nice. And they say the youth of today are so lazy, but I don’t see it, I don’t see it at all, thank you young man.” The old man grinned again, and it was hard not to grin back at him. Well Ed did anyway and Al thought a grin at him.

Al negotiated the walk from sitting room to kitchen like a soldier navigating a mine filed, but he made it safely and Ed could hear his brother’s content hum as he went about inspecting the old man’s kitchen.

“Now,” the old man’s voice said, drawing Ed’s eyes back to him, “Just what can I do for the two of you?” he asked.

“Well sir,” Ed said politely, because Edward’s mother had taught him manners and he was grateful to drag them out when the occasion called for it, “we’ve come across some information about you, about who you use to be,” Ed said hesitantly.

“Ah,” the old man said, “you mean those boys who saw me alchemise the bridge and that other nice young soldier who came to interview me. So you know I used to be a state alchemist,” he said.

“Yes sir, and I am too, a state alchemist that is,” Edward said.

“That is amazing, why you don’t look much older than my oldest great grandson, and he’s only 11,” the old man said.

Ed winced, but someone this old was allowed to mistake short for young.

“I’m 15,” Ed supplied helpfully, “but that’s not really why I’m here. It was said, or rather I read, in your earlier days you were searching for the philosopher’s stone.”

The old man smiled for a bit, and then he slowly nodded.

“I was, but what could you possibly want with the stone?” the old man said, “The stone was a thing for desperate times and desperate measures.”

Al came back then, carefully carrying some teacups and using a plate as a make shift tray. He sat them down then slowly navigated his way back to the kitchen. Ed was rubbing the knees of his pants in anxiety.

“I have my reasons,” Ed said, preparing himself for the inevitable ethnical and moral conversation yet another adult was going to level on him, he could recite his standpoint in his sleep by now.

“Well everyone does,” the old man said, “Oh I seem to remember an ancient text… it was given to me as a gift when I made my search public…oh it was so long ago, but it seemed to me it had many ways of creating the crimson elixir in its pages.”

Ed’s heart flat out stopped.

It was a good thing Al had returned then with the cream and sugar bowl and noticed his brother turning blue. A few hard raps on the back made Ed gag and choke and start breathing again.

“It’s been years ago,” the old man had continued while the back pounding was going on, “I don’t seem to remember who gave it to me…”

“Where is it?!” Ed cried, having just cheated death.

“Eh? Hmmm, let me think,” the old man said again.

“I’ll get the tea pot!” Al said excitedly, because tea always made good things happen.

Ed waited. He rubbed his palms on his knees so hard that the leather began to get thin; he even swore his automail palm was sweaty. Al had returned with the teapot, poured the old man a cup and hovered nervously at his elbow, but the old man had gone silent and hadn’t said anything further. In fact he’d gone completely still as well. The brothers looked at each other. They decided to wait it out.

Then Ed got a nervous twitch in his automail leg and it started to bounce.

“Shhhhh!” Al hissed.

Ed made a helpless shrug and grabbed his automail knee and held it down.

Still, the old man seemed to ponder silently.

Still a while later, Al finally ventured: “Do you think he’s alive?”

“I don’t know,” Ed squeaked miserably, “Why don’t you check?”

Al, seven foot tall or no, armored or no, wasn’t about to touch a potentially dead person.

“No,” Al said, backing away, “You check.”

“Why do I have to do everything,” Ed whined.

“Because you’re the elder,” Al said.

“What if I want to give you the honorary title of elder?” Ed complained.

“I’ve seen that job,” Al said, “and I don’t want it.”

As they stared at each other, each trying to will the other to do it, the old man spoke as if he’d never stopped speaking to begin with.

“I seem to remember it might be in a crate in the barn,” he wheezed.

Ed jump to his feet.

“Do you hear that Al?! It’s in the ba….” and Ed crashed through the floor.

He got his usual damage assessment.

“He landed on his head,” Al said, “he’s not hurt.” and then they fixed the floor.

“Really sorry about that sir,” Ed blushed, and then thought about just deconstructing the whole house and reconstructing it, but later.

The old man insisted on escorting them out to the barn.

“This way,” he said cheerfully and shuffled toward his front door. After a couple of feet, he stopped and Ed and Al stopped.

“Right this way,” the old man said again, shuffled a couple more feet and stopped, and Ed and Al stopped.

“Here we go,” the old man chortled, got his hand on the doorknob and opened the door, shuffled to the porch and stopped, and Ed and Al stopped.

“Fresh air is good for you,” the old man supplied and shuffled to the edge of the porch and stopped, and Ed and Al stopped.

“Oh my, these steps are so steep,” the old man said, slowly pushing one unsteady foot onto the first of two steps that led off his porch.

“I’ll carry you!” Ed cried, trying hard not to hop up and down in place.

“Don’t be silly, you’re not tall enough,” the old man said cheerfully.

Al slapped a hand over Ed’s mouth and held him against his chest.

“What if I carry you?” Al offered.

“Don’t be silly, you’re too tall and pointy,” the old man said wobbling on the second step.

Ed wiggled free of Al’s grasp and hopped off the porch and trotted in front of the old man.

“Well then how about you take my arm and I’ll help you,” Ed said forcing a big smile.

The old man reached out and took Ed’s arm, then released it and knocked on it.

“You have a very muscular arm young man,” the old man said, “but I think I can manage.”

When they’d finally rounded the corner of the house, Al said: “I’ll go in and make you both some dinner.”

Ed, who was squatting on the ground, elbows on knees, chin in hands said: “Ok, that should burn up another couple of feet.”

***

Roy took a deep breath.

“I think I’m finally in love,” he said. He waited but there was no gasp or no exclamation of denial, so he looked up.

Anna shrugged.

“What do you want? Did you want me to alert the media? It was bound to happen sooner or later,” she said and took another sip.

“I suppose,” Roy said, “but it’s not quite in the way everyone would expect, I think. In fact I know it isn’t,” Roy killed his glass and poured another.

“So what’s so special about it, other than the fact you think it is?” Anna said.

“Well for one thing,” Roy said, “it’s another man, well no it’s not even that.”

“That is surprising I will admit,” said Anna. “So you were playing this big game of overcompensation? Roy, no one is going to hold that against you, I don’t think.”

“He’s one of my subordinates,” Roy said and took another sip.

Anna winced, her own father was a retired career military man, she knew enough to know that wasn’t good.

“You might want to rethink that then,” Anna said, “If you want to stick with the military. I hate to sound callous or anything, since I know you telling me this the way you’re telling me this, it’s a big deal. Ah that sounded wrong… I mean, it is a big deal; love always is, but Roy, you always seem to have these priorities.”

“I know I know, but he makes them seem unimportant, at least at the moment,” Roy said.

“You got it bad,” Anna murmured, “So how serious is it?”

“Bad enough to know it must be love,” Roy said with an exhale of air that might have been a chuckle with more effort, “because he is one seriously lousy lay.”

“You poor bastard,” Anna said, “so what is the name of this turn off on legs?”

Roy did chuckle then.

“His name is Edward,” Roy said, another sip of his scotch.

“Edward,” Anna said and chewed her lip, “The same one in your letters? You really misrepresent him then, because I was under the impression he was just a kid. That alchemist you brag about finding, isn’t that Edward?”

“He’s 15, he’d be insulted to hear you call him a kid,” Roy said quietly.

Then the room was very silent.

***

“It will be dark soon,” Ed said, munching on a chicken leg about 5 feet from the barn door.

“That’s ok, I’m sure we can find a lantern,” Al said, holding the old man’s plate as he nibbled at a piece of bread.

After the bread, they had arrived.

“Here we are,” the old man proclaimed, “You boys make yourselves right at home, I’ll be in the house if you need me,” and the old man turned around and shuffled a few feet and stopped.

Ed looked at Al and they leapt at the barn door, freed it of its rusty latch and threw it open.

If was a fine old barn, large enough to stable a good many horses, tall enough to have a loft you could stand in, wide enough for a smithy to practice his wares in it’s belly and they couldn’t walk three feet into it, for it was floor to ceiling with crates, crates, crates and crates, all seemingly unmarked.

“Someone hates me,” Ed finally said.

Al patted his back.

“You should be used to this by now,” his little brother tried to sooth, “I think it’s some sort of cosmic payback.”

“Quit trying to comfort me Al,” Ed snapped.

They hauled and they uncrated and they shuffled and they moved. They swore and they sweated _(at least Ed did)_ and they sorted and they dug. Several times Al had to haul Ed away from some other interesting find to shake him and get him back on track.

The birds were chirping and they had the barn halfway cleared. There were stacks. Stacks of outright junk, stacks of almost outright junk, stacks of what the hell is this, and stacks of really neat stuff and do you think he’d mind if we messed with it?

A small cat came screaming across the back yard, then. It ran right up to Al and without further adieu, wound sinuously around Al’s metal ankle.

Al of course, lost his mind.

“KITTY!” He reached down and scooped it up and scratched it under it’s tabby striped chin.

“Al, crates!” Ed growled.

“I’m taking a break,” Al announced, “We’ve been at this all night and kitty is hungry. Yes she is, come on kitty, let’s go get you something nice, maybe Mr. Burt has some cream…”

Al wandered away in cat-induced bliss and left Ed standing there, snarling.

It took a good half hour to haul Al back and then he only came because Ed grabbed the cat and ran back to the barn with it.

  
Still holding the cat, Ed noticed the huge suit of armor barreling down on him. His mind, clouded as it was (though not with KITTY!, with NO SLEEP!), flipped out and thought scrabbling up a nearby stack of crates was a good idea. The crates begged to differ and just as Ed reached the top, they showed their displeasure by toppling directly onto the suit of startled armor standing next to them. Ed and KITTY! landed in an ungraceful heap on the other side and everybody screamed loudly for a moment or two. KITTY! even scratched.

When everyone was calmer and KITTY! was cradled safely in cool metal arms, they surveyed the damage the crate toppling has wrought. Junk and stuff lay scattered here and there, but one thing sort of stood out of it all. It was linen wrapped, book shaped and large. Ed crawled over to it and plucked at the linen wrapping. The linen gave way easily and a large leather bound book with a hand tooled cover laid nestled in its folds. Ed turned the book over, his lip trembling. He pointed a shaky finger at the book and looked up at Al.

In big, gaudy, gold-pressed letters, the words ‘The Crimson Elixir’ ravaged the front of this all telling miracle and both brothers fell silent in reverent awe. Even KITTY! stopped purring.

“This is it, this is it!” Ed squealed then slapped a hand over his mouth and looked at Al.

Al, miracle of miracles, set the cat on her feet, crawled over to his brother and also looked down at the book in worship.

“Go on,” Al said, “Open it.”

Ed dusted his filthy gloves on his chest for all the good it did them, gingerly turned the cover of the big book and slowly laid it open.

The yellow, cracked page that it revealed repeated the book title, then some other incidental information that was hard to read. It looked terribly, terribly authentic and terribly, terribly old. Why had the Central Library not known of this mystic tome located in a crate in a musty barn of a musty old hero? It didn’t matter, it was there now, and it was in their grasp!

Ed slid a finger under the first yellowed page and went to turn it. The page crumbled in on itself.

Both brothers gasped and scooted backwards and regarded their prize on all fours.

“Now what do we do,” Al whispered.

“We have to think of an array to hold the pages together,” Ed said, “And we have to do it fast, I don’t think the air is doing it any good, and it’s morning and it’s damp.”

“An array to act like library paste,” Al said quickly.

“Right, brilliant, get to it!” Ed said.

“What? I said to act like library paste, not that I knew one!” Al returned.

“I have to do everything don’t I?” Ed said.

“It’s that elder thing,” Al told him, “and we’ve already had that discussion.”

***

  
Anna finally broke the spell.

“Did you just tell me you’re fucking a 15 year old boy,” she said in a reasonable tone.

Roy snorted a sarcastic laugh.

“Let’s just say it’s not for lack of trying,” Roy said, “but yes that 15 year old has been in my bed,” he killed his drink again, poured another.

“At what point,” Anna said slowly, “did you loose your goddamn mind?”

“At the point where he let me kiss him,” Roy returned, lowering his nose to the rim of his glass.

“He let you kiss him? Or you made him think kissing him was a good idea?” she pressed.

“Look, either way, what’s happened has happened. I don’t know anymore, all I know is I’d rather he be here right now and not off on some mission,” Roy took a sip, “I know what it is... I KNOW… but this is what it is, and I’m trying to deal with it for both our sakes. You don’t know him; he’s not like a normal 15 year old…”

Anna put her glass on his mother’s phone stand that doubled as a side table and sat forward.

“You are telling me that you think this 15 year old _boy_ is not a normal 15 year old boy, could that be because you are molesting him? Are you seriously telling me you’ve deluded yourself into thinking this is a relationship worth pursuing? Are you trying to tell me that you want me to accept the fact you are taking a CHILD into your bed and you needed to tell someone about it? Like some insane brag?”

“NO!” Roy shouted, then dropped his gaze, “No, it’s not a _brag_ , it’s not something I would even breathe a word to with anyone else. I’m not asking you to accept it, but goddamn it you told me I could tell you _anything_ , and so yes, sometimes it eats me alive, and YES, I wanted to tell someone, but no dammit NO, it’s not to brag. I would never do that to him, I would never debase him by bragging about something like that, I love him! I do! I don’t even know why I thought you would understand…” Roy put a hand over his eyes.

“You wouldn’t debase him by bragging about him, but you have no qualms about debasing him by fucking him, you are seriously one piece of work. I thought I knew you, but I don’t know you at all,” Anna stood and grabbed her bag.

“Anna,” Roy said, put down his own glass and got to his own feet.

“You know what the only damn thing is that is keeping me from going to your superiors?” She said, and Roy went white as a sheet, “Is that my father loves you. You don’t get it do you, he loves you like a son, he _brags_ about your ass and the fact that you’re some fucking star and you send him goddamn smoking tobacco for the holidays! Hell, he has your picture on his desk next to mine and mom’s and it makes me sick…” She covered her mouth then, and blinked hard as if to clear tears.

Roy started to reach for her but she flinched back and pulled her hand away.

“You need help, you need to talk to someone who can help you, because Colonel Mustang, you are fucking your subordinate who is a _child_ and if someone besides me were to find out, you are through,” she shook her head. “I’m going now and I don’t think we’re going to be friends anymore.”

“Anna,” her name was an agonized whisper.

She shook her head and strode for the door, Roy could only stand frozen and watch her go and hate himself and love Ed and want to cry all at once.

  
Two days later, Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse came back to East City, reported back to headquarters and Roy listened to their report.

 _I have to tell him it’s over._

“You wouldn’t believe the crates,” Ed was saying, “They were this high,” and he gestured and Al gestured higher behind him. It made the others laugh and Roy forced a smile.

 _I have to do it tonight._

“So then we finally found it, but when we tried to look at it, it fell apart!” Ed said, flapping his arms and Al nodding sagely behind him.

 _He’ll be alright, he has Al and he’s so young, he’ll get over it quickly. I can handle this, I have to do what’s right for him._

“So it turns out it was a cookbook,” Ed said glumly.

“It had some really interesting recipes in it,” Al said trying to sound cheerful, “I’m going to make some of them for the guys,”

There was general applause from the big table.

“I’m sorry to hear it,” Roy said.

Ed shrugged, rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he said.

“Mr. Burt was really nice though,” Al said, “he let us keep it and some other interesting things.”

 _I can’t let this stop me, I know he’s disappointed but he’s been disappointed before, I have to do this, I have to do it tonight._

Ed raised his arms and let them flap to his sides.

“That’s it,” he said.

“Written report by the end of the week,” the Colonel said.

Ed rolled his eyes.

Roy scribbled on a piece of paper on his desk and handed it to Ed.

“Here’s something else I want you to check into,” he said.

Ed took it, and looked at it.

 _Tonight, 7:00, park entrance._

“No sweat,” Ed said.

  
***

  
He was so absorbed in the right words to say that he didn’t notice Ed until Ed tugged on his sleeve.

“Come on Colonel,” the blonde grinned, “why are you spacing out on me? You’re not that old, believe me, I just spent four days with _old_.”

Roy smiled.

“Sorry Ed, come on,” he walked off down the path, toward the middle of the park, Ed tagged along at his side. It didn’t help that the boy dressed again today, in soft blue and black slacks with those loafers, and his hair wasn’t down, but it wasn’t braided either; it swung in a high, jaunty, ponytail just below the crown of his head and he looked beautiful and young and happy. Happy to be walking at Roy’s side.

 _How can that be bad?_

Ed was worrying something in his pocket, Roy could hear the clink, clink of automail fingers rolling something over and over, Ed had a lot of nervous energy.

 _I didn’t seduce him, did I? He said willingly, I was there, I heard him._

“You are being very quiet, it’s kinda weird,” Ed said, looking up at him as they walked.

“Oh, I just have a lot on my mind. Work you see, I’m sorry, I’ll stop. You deserve my full attention after all, you’ve been gone for a few days and it’s rude of me to bring work on a walk with us.” Roy inclined his head toward Ed.

“It’s ok, I get to think out everything on the train, I mean you’re allowed and all. I uh, I missed you,” he ventured, then rushed on in his usual embarrassed way after any sort of sentimental admission, “and I was hoping you had something else for me to go on when we got back.”

“I’m working on it, I promise,” Roy said.

 _Because after tonight you are probably going to want to be far away from me._

“Oh!” Ed said and grabbed Roy’s sleeve, “We haven’t been in here so early before and the ice cream vendor is still open, do you want one?” Ed leaned hopefully in that direction.

 _Oh my god._

“Sure,” Roy said, “whatever you want Ed.”

  
They were home now and Ed tasted like chocolate ice cream.

 _I have to tell him, I have to tell him now._

Ed’s shirt was on the floor at his feet.

 _I can’t let this go any further, I have to tell him now._

 _Colonel Mustang, you are fucking your subordinate who is a child and if someone besides me where to find out, you are through._

Ed moaned into his mouth and pulled at his shirtfront.

 _Please Ed, have mercy, I have to tell you._

Ed was naked and straddling his lap as he lay back on the bed, playing with his hair and making an attempt to be the boss of the kisses. He sat back suddenly and said: “Ah damn I forgot, you started pawing me the minute we walked in, be right back!” He hopped off the bed and ran to find some discarded and abandoned article of clothing.

Roy looked at the ceiling and blinked his eyes rapidly several times.

 _This is the last time and after he is lying there sated and glowing, then I’ll tell him. Please don’t let him cry, I’ll come apart if he cries._

Ed came bouncing back in and climbed back on, his hand behind his back.

 _What has he done now?_

“When we were digging through all those boxes, we ran across a lot of old military stuff, _a lot_ , and I found this thing and Mr. Burt said I could have it, I tried to buy it from him, but when I told him who it was for, well who you were, he said it was a gift from the Engineering Alchemist to the Flame Alchemist via the FullMetal Alchemist. I spent a lot of time on the train cleaning it up and Al helped get it working,” Ed shyly ducked his head and opened his hand and offered up to Roy Mustang an ancient lighter, silver and etched with a crest of the Amestris military from half a century ago.

Roy took it with shaking fingers.

“I asked him how he was able to make bridge no one else could,” Ed said, and rubbed the side of his nose in an embarrassed way, “he said that sometimes there were things that just needed to be spanned, no matter what anyone else though about it, even if they thought it was too high or too wide. He said that there were just places that some people had to go no matter what, even if they though it was wrong, someone had to go there. That is what he thought about when he made an array and that is what made a good bridge. A bridge that may not go where you wanted it to go, but one that people wanted to walk on.” Ed shrugged, “He’s a great alchemist,” Ed continued, “to be so old and still be able to make bridges.”

Roy rolled the lighter over in his palm and then back again.

“Do you like it?” Ed said, ducking his head and trying to see Roy’s eyes.

Ed squeaked when the Colonel grabbed him and held him tightly to his chest.

 _It may be wrong, and maybe I shouldn’t cross that bridge.._

 _But I’m going to Anna, I’m going anyway._

“I’ll take this as a yes,” Ed said.

  
 **Omake:**

The birds were chirping and they had the barn halfway cleared. There were stacks. Stacks of outright junk, stacks of almost outright junk, stacks of what the hell is this, and stacks of really neat stuff and do you think he’d mind if we messed with it?

Al cocked his head as if remembering something, then walked out of the barn and around the corner of the house.

The little old man smiled over at him, one foot on the bottom step.

“Just remember boys, if you need anything at all, I’m going to be in the house."


	8. Chapter 8

“Oh please,” Roy said huskily.

“Noooo,” Ed said, his voice a bit whiny.

“Just once more, this is the last time, I promise, just once more, for me?” Roy said softly.

“Don’t say it like that, that’s not fair,” Ed complained.

“Just once more, it was _so_ good, please, I promise I won’t ask again after this,” Roy put on a pout.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Ed covered his face with his hands, “You really are a bastard for wanting me to do this,” Ed said muffled.

“I know, “Roy cooed, “but please, please… please?”

“Fine, but this is the last time,” Ed uncovered his face, sat up on his knees, caught his hair up behind him and sighed, then squared his jaw.

“Colonel Mustang, I really must protest. You can’t leave yet, because you have so much paperwork and it reflects badly on not only yourself, but me as well, if I let you go without getting it done. Please don’t make me go postal on you, forgive the insubordination, sir.” Ed glanced over at Roy.

Roy was rolling around on the bed in laughter, Ed did the best Riza impersonation _ever_.

***

It was the weekend and Roy always held onto them like the shining beacon of slacker hope they were. But this one, this special weekend, Alphonse Elric had graciously relinquished his brother into the Colonel’s care. For the whole weekend!

During the week Ed had no problems with meeting Roy, sleeping with Roy, and being generally Roy’s chew toy in bed, but come the weekend, Ed was all about Al. Ed’s devotion to all things Al was heartwarming. Every little gesture, even the sibling arguments, was all a gentle deference to his younger brother. Sometimes Roy wondered if Ed realized where he left off and Al began. Since this relationship had begun, Roy had despaired of ever having one lazy, mostly nude day, where he could keep Ed in bed or on his back somewhere in the house, but Ed was resolute.

“You can’t hog me,” Ed had said, blushing, “I spend a lot of time with you, and now I spend even more, that’s not fair to Al. Al gets me too, in fact Al gets me first.”

Roy’s face did all sorts of contortions trying not to laugh.

Ed looked at him long and hard in puzzlement, then his eyebrows shot off his face and through the roof.

“You are a SICK BASTARD!” Ed wailed.

Since Ed was wailing, Roy thought it only fair that he could laugh.

He had flailed around the living room in an outraged fury and Roy tried to calm him down, but was miserably bad at it.

“I’m sorry,” Roy gasped out, “it’s just the way you said it,” Roy accidentally remembered how Ed said it while trying to explain it to him and broke into fresh hilarity. Ed ran over and kicked him in the shin. Hard. With his automail foot, no less.

Roy supposed he deserved that, but that didn’t make it any the less funny.

But Ed must have mentioned it to Al, because he had come back the next day, waited for lunch to clear the office and then shyly and haltingly told Roy he could stay the whole weekend.

Roy had never wanted to tongue metal so hard in his life. It was like a miracle. No, better, it was like his fucking birthday. Alphonse Elric was his goddamn hero, even if he was conspiring with First Lieutenant Hawkeye to take over the world.

***

They were lying in bed facing each other. Ed was lying on his right side and Roy worried briefly that it might be uncomfortable for the boy to lie on his automail, but Ed didn’t seem to notice at all and so Roy let it go. He reached out to touch him, because he could. He cupped Ed’s cheek and the boy’s eyes searched his face in lazy contentment as Roy smiled his slow smile, the one that served him so well in the past. He slowly moved his fingertips along the boys cheek, over his jaw to his chin, then down the front of his throat and the smile went to a smirk when Ed swallowed.

Ed was not pale, but he was somewhat soft. He was ruddy, with deep sun-branded skin, the skin around his automail ports was thick and dark, scar tissue, and Roy was surprised when he responded to touches there, because he didn’t think scar tissue was supposed to be sensitive. His hand moved down Ed’s chest, then up over the curve of his hip, square like a man’s, and then his fingertips lowered again, skimming down Ed’s false pelvis and making him wiggle a bit because he was ticklish. Ed was masculine and beautiful, well defined and yet not sharp, Roy was rather jealous of Ed’s shoulders, but was too lazy to really want to work on that kind of definition, and then ashamed of himself because he knew it wasn’t because the boy worked out for vanity’s sake.

“What are you doing?” Ed said quietly.

“Learning you, because each time I touch you, I find something different,” Roy said.

Edward smiled.

Roy scooted closer after a bit, arm draped over Ed’s upturned hip, smile still lazy, as Ed laid his fingers on his chest to draw pictures and write words.

“Do you remember what I said to you before you went to Pekinpaw?” Roy asked.

“You said a lot of things to me before I went to Pekinpaw,” Ed returned.

“I mean that night in bed,” Roy pressed a bit.

The nervous dance of Ed’s fingers on his chest said ‘yes’.

“I wanted you to know I meant it,” Roy knew there was no point in hiding it now that he’d said it, he _did_ mean it, and Ed needed to hear things like this every now and again.

Ed said nothing, but his fingers didn’t still.

“And I want you to know it’s ok if you aren’t ready yet,” Roy continued, because he knew how the Edward Elric guilt machine worked. “Please don’t feel there is something you owe me because I said it, it’s something I wanted to say, and I give it freely, no strings attached. And since I’ve given it to you, it’s yours to do what you want with, understand? It’s not an obligation of any sort, if it was, then it wouldn’t be what it is, ok?”

Ed’s face suddenly pressed beneath Roy’s chin. Roy smiled, stroked the boy’s hair and just let it be, because it can be hard sometimes to hear that someone cares when you’re not sure what to do about it.

***

 _On top of being the most selfish bastard in the world, I’m apparently the biggest fucking coward, too._

Ed pressed his face into the Colonel’s throat.

 _I say it enough in my head, in my sleep, in my dreams, why can’t I say it right now? Because I do too, you bastard. I do too!_

He must have made a sound, because the Colonel had both arms around him now, rubbing his back, making those soft ‘hmmm’ noises he found so comforting and kissing his head and temple.

 _But everyone I say it to gets hurt._

 _Please, please understand._

Ed rubbed his face against that bastard’s throat.

 _I love you too! And I’m scared even thinking might jinx it._

***

This didn’t go as Roy had planned. He hadn’t expected Ed to reciprocate _(although he hoped he would)_. He had expected the boy to turn crimson and try to run away or something, not turn into this slightly trembling figure in his arms, hiding his face in his throat. How did Roy get this wrong?

 _It’s almost like the closer I get, the less I know him._

It was frustrating. When Ed was in the office, he was an open book who could be prodded in whatever direction the Colonel needed him to go.

When Ed was in his bed, he was a baffling enigma who always seemed to be of two minds at once, what he wanted and what he wanted to do.

 _There’s no middle ground with this kid!_

And Roy called him a kid in his thoughts out of exasperation.

But then Ed stopped trembling, lifted his face from the nose-sized indention he’d left in Roy’s throat and said: “I want to put my mouth on you.”

How could Roy resist that? So, he smiled and lowered his lips.

“Not there,” Ed said.

Roy tilted his head back to offer his throat.

“Not there,” Ed said.

Roy suspected the nose indention was a turn off, so he tilted his head to the side to offer shoulder and neck.

“No!” Ed said sounding frustrated.

Roy looked at him and cocked an eyebrow.

Ed was crimson to his roots.

“I want to put it on your... cuh… cuh… thing,” Ed slammed his face back into Roy’s throat and gagged him.

His thing, huh? OH MY GOD, yes he knew what Ed was talking about and his brain did an excited little jiggle. But his cock, the injured party of the last encounter, remembered all to well.

 _It will be great this time,_ Roy tried to reason with it, _he’s got more skills. Ok so he hasn’t, but he remembers the last time, he’ll keep his teeth to himself!_

Ed unburied himself again and began to wiggle down the bed, pushing the blanket down as he went and Roy remained frozen in place, struggling with his inner cock voice, because if the kid touched him and he didn’t get hard it could be _bad._

But he should have known, his cock loved Ed more than he did, and when the boy halted at his hips and tentatively pushed at Roy to get him to lie on his back, his little soldier was well at attention and reaching for Ed.

Ed was never quiet sure what to do with it at first. He reached up with the fingers of his flesh hand and pressed Roy’s cock against his belly. Then he let go and Roy’s cock sprang right back up. Ed quirked an eyebrow and did it again, and again.

Roy’s mind swam. What the hell was he doing? Testing elasticity?

 _Should I help him? No, don’t help him._

Ed leaned over and exhaled hot air on Roy’s cock, which was damn strange and damn sexy. He nosed Roy’s cock and that was incredibly sexy. Roy just _throbbed_ and restrained himself from arching to rub against the boy’s nose. He was sure Ed wouldn’t appreciate it.

 _Come on Ed, you are the master of torture._

 _Oh my GOD at least he’s touching me, leave him the hell alone!_

Roy hated it when his cock talked.

Then Ed licked him with a warm sweep from root to tip and Roy’s toes curled so hard he had nail impressions in the bottom of his foot. The voice of his cock in his brain screamed like a little girl and started sobbing and Roy wished for death, but not of the dying kind.

Ed took the head in his mouth and his gold eyes flicked up to Roy’s face. Roy tried not to grimace, he tried to smile, but golden eyebrows said it looked like a grimace, so Roy dropped his head back and gave Ed a ‘thumbs up’ sign with his hand instead. That encouraged a suck, and that suck encouraged another and soon Ed was _sucking on him._

 _I cannot move. If I move, he will stop. I will die. This is how it will end. Put on my gravestone… ‘If he had moved, Ed would have stopped’. Yes, a fitting epitaph._

Ed was sucking on him and he actually moved _down_ on his cock, getting more in his mouth.

 _I think I see dead people. This isn’t happening to me. I’m going to wake up and it’s going to have been one long, insane dream and then I’m going to kill myself, because a man can only take so much._

Ed wrapped his flesh fingers around the base of Roy’s cock and dragged them up as his mouth went down.

Roy’s mind liquefied and came out his ears. Naturally, Roy came.

He couldn’t sit up yet to comfort the gagging teen, but he could watch in dull amazement as Edward buried his face in the sheets, and on his hands and knees, scoot his buried face all around the bed.

 _Well look at that, what the hell is he doing? I don’t care in the least. He can set the house on fire; I think I’ll lay right here. He seems to be talking to me, but I can’t make out what he’s saying._

 _Oh my god I got to come in his mouth._

***

  
It was extremely embarrassing that a 15 year old boy was making him come almost the moment he touched him, but Ed had learned something. He had learned to give a blowjob! Roy wasn’t sure if he should be thrilled or appalled, and Ed had gone to brush his teeth twice, and was looking all surly sitting on the bed, eyeing Roy like he was pond scum. Roy still hadn’t moved, because he was going to wring every last iota of sensation from that very brief blowjob. Who knows when he’d get one again?

  
Ed wasn’t shy about letting the neighbors know he was getting a ‘Thank you SO MUCH’ blowjob in return later, however.

  
After all the mind-numbing mouth action, Ed decided he was hungry. Roy grunted and complained as Ed pushed on him with pleas of: ”Feed me!” like a baby bird, and finally allowed the teen to roll him out of his comfortable sex nest. He sat on the edge of the bed and couldn’t help the huge grin as Ed pulled Roy’s very own button down shirt over his head, but frowned when Ed picked up his boxers. Roy reached out and snagged the boy’s boxers, and Ed grunted and tugged back.

“Give me those,” Roy said.

This seemed all strange déjà vu to Ed.

“No, they’re clean!” he howled.

“I don’t care about that, why do you want to put them on?” Roy asked.

“Because I don’t want to walk about with my butt naked in the house,” Ed gaped.

“Why not, it’s such a cute butt. Besides, that shirt almost hangs to your knees,” Roy said, not relinquishing his grip.

“What if I want to sit on the furniture,” Ed said, “I can’t sit on the couch with a naked butt!”

“Why not?” Roy said, “I have, the couch has a nice texture to it.”

“EW!” Ed said and tugged hard, “I can’t believe I sat on that couch where your naked butt has been!”

“You have strange priorities,” Roy said with a smirk and let go of the boxers, causing Ed to stumble back a few steps, “because you had your bare hands all over my butt earlier.”

Ed snorted, yanked on his boxers and fled.

“Pervert!” he called over his shoulder.

***

Roy though the cute was going to leap out of the cabinet any moment and strangle him. Ed was leaning on his back, murmuring about how hungry he was, rubbing his cheek up and down and basically wooing the man cooking his meal. Roy had prepared well, stopping on his way home the day before and stocking the ice box with many things to feed the bottomless pit that was Edward Elric. He had no fear of spoilage, as he was sure the boy would finish off every single morsel before Monday morning. Besides, if they did run out of food, he wanted to take the boy out a least one night anyway.

He was making a specialty for them both, a simple chop and potato dish made spicy with pepper, and then the phone rang. Roy had one in his house sitting on a roll top desk in the corner of the living room he called ‘his den’. Ed thought this superfluous, and informed Roy loftily that a den was an entirely separate room with a door, because he knew, there was one in his house where he grew up and wasn’t Roy deprived as a child to not live in a house with a den?

“I’ll get it,” Ed said and dashed off in excitement. Ed had a den where he lived but he’d never had a phone, and yet he called Roy ‘deprived’. Then it struck Roy that maybe it wasn’t a good idea for Ed to be answering the phone at his place, but it was too late. He took the skillet off the flame, shut it down and hurried after him in case there was spin control he needed to perform. Ed looked over at him sourly as he came in and said shortly: “Here he is,” then thrust the phone out at Roy.

“It’s a girl,” Ed said flatly.

Roy took the phone, moved past Ed to the desk and put it to his ear.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hey Flamey,” a voice on the other end said, “I had a long hard talk with my conscience and I think we’ve come to some sort of understanding. I don’t think what I said was wrong, but I think telling you I wasn’t gonna be your friend was, are we still good?” The voice on the other end sounded reserved but hopeful.

“Anna,” Roy breathed into the mouth piece and heard Ed snort behind him.

“So was that him,” Anna asked.

“Uh yes,” Roy turned half way to look at Ed and make a shooing motion with his hand.

“He sounds younger than 15,” Anna said and Roy snorted.

“His voice hasn’t broken yet, but we hold out hope,” Roy said and shooed at Ed again. Ed was glaring, hands on hips and making gestures of frustration toward the kitchen.

“Can I meet him?” Anna asked and Roy blinked in surprise.

“Why would you want to?” Roy found himself asking before he realized it.

“I want to see what it takes to bring a Mustang down,” Anna replied with a half snort.

“You’re really enjoying this aren’t you,” Roy asked and swatted at Ed who was tugging on the waist band of his pajama bottoms.

“Oh yeah,” Anna said, “I love seeing pompous asses crash and burn, yours even more so with the whole flame thing being poetic justice,” she said airily.

“Yeah, that’s what I love about you,” and now Roy really had to fend of Ed’s hands because he was going for the phone receiver, “You like rubbing my face in every little infraction,” he grunted, pinned Ed against the desk and leaned him over it.

“How else you gonna learn?” Anna asked.

Roy was looking down at the wriggling boy, whose rump was currently rubbing him in a very sensitive spot.

“I’m never going to learn,” he managed to get out, “how about we meet you in the park for dinner. Mezzanine at 7:00 work for you?” he gritted out, eyes starting to water.

“Yeah perfect,” she said, “I don’t need to bring a bib, do I?”

Roy let out a low, evil chuckle.

“Screw you,” he said and hung up.

***

“I’ve told you a dozen times already, she is not _an old girlfriend_ ” Roy said, proffering the shirt again. Alphonse, bless him, had sent Ed over with _changes of clothes._

Ed stood, arms stubbornly folded.

“That’s just what you say,” he spat.

Roy’s flattery of Ed’s apparent jealousy had run out a few shouts ago, and now he was just about to say: “FINE, stay here and POUT!” and get dressed himself. But, that would defeat the whole purpose of taking Ed to meet Anna and hopefully patching up one of his oldest and dearest friendships. Ed’s thought on the matter were something else entirely.

“Why do you want to parade me around in front of her, I don’t even know her, I don’t want to have dinner with her, you cooked already,” Ed said stubbornly.

“We can put it in the icebox, it will keep until tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll let you have it as a late night snack to eat off my stomach later, but come on Ed, look, don’t you trust me?” Roy set his jaw.

Roy had played a dirty hand and he knew it. Ed’s eyes clouded as he dropped them and reached out for the shirt.

“Fine, but if she kisses you I’m going to kill you, THEN break up with you,” Ed snatched the shirt and shrugged it on.

Relieved, Roy went to get his own clothes. He pulled on a button down shirt (because his wardrobe had little else), but left it untucked and opted for a casual dark jacket over it. When he turned from his closet, he saw Ed sitting on the bed, dressed but for shoes, watching him. He had an odd expression on his face.

“What is it?” Roy asked.

“You’re taking me out in civvies,” Ed said, “I’ve really never seen you in civvies much,” the boy tilted his head.

Roy smiled.

“Wish it wasn’t to see some old girlfriend,” Ed ended with a sneer.

Roy grabbed his shoes, rolled his eyes and stomped out of the bedroom.

***

First meetings are rather awkward things. They dance about the participant’s heads and make them dizzy enough to say stupid things sometimes, they lodge themselves in vocal cords and make it hard to speak, or they sometimes gather sullenly in the pits of stomachs and make it hard to focus. But either way, things can go generally haywire.

None of these things were a good combination with a nervous FullMetal Alchemist. He walked stiffly at Roy’s side; he’d even braided his hair. He hadn’t spoken a word since they’d left Roy’s apartment and he his golden eyes kept scanning back and forth when anything slightly feminine came into view. All and all, Ed looked like he was heading for a showdown with Scar or something equally unsavory, and Roy felt like he was meeting Anna for the first time all over again, and bringing along his untamed pet centipede chimera.

Roy saw her first since he knew what she looked like, and gently put a hand on Ed’s back to steer him over. Ed looked up at the woman and blinked. She was almost the same height as the Colonel, she almost had the same hairstyle but in brown and she had glasses that reminded him of Cain Fuery. Scheizka’s face leapt to Ed’s mind, but he didn’t want that because he _liked_ Scheizka and didn’t want to like this Anna or whoever she was that was the Colonel’s friend.

Roy stepped forward and _hugged_ her. He hugged her right in front of Ed and she hugged him back and they both kind of looked at each other all happy and sad at the same time. Then Roy looked at Ed and back to her, and she looked at Ed and back to Roy, and Ed shifted uncomfortably and frowned. But Anna was in her own way an unstoppable force and she thrust her hand in Ed’s face, saying: “Hi, I’m Anna Wagoner, an old friend of the Colonel’s, pleased to meet you.”

Ed scowled, but flattened his features, stuck his nose in the air, took her hand and shook it politely.

“I’m Major Edward Elric _(his BOYFRIEND)_ , the FullMetal Alchemist.”

Roy lifted his eyebrows, Edward had flung out his rank and title as a challenge, but he knew Anna was up to the task.

“I’ve heard all about you,” Anna said, and smiled at him. Edward forced himself not to grimace. “I’ve read about you in the papers, and of course knucklehead here brags about you in his letters.”

 _Knucklehead? Letters?_

Roy clapped Ed on the shoulder. “He’s a real celebrity in these parts,” he said and Ed stared at him because the bastard sounded _proud_.

“So what did you guys have in mind for dinner?” Anna asked and looked around the park.

“Sardi’s,” Ed said loftily.

“Uh, no,” Roy said, “We aren’t dressed for it and just…no.”

Ed scowled at him, how dare he contradict him in front of this _girl_.

“How about Xingian?” Anna said, “I haven’t had that in a while, are there any good places around for that?”

Roy grinned, “I know one,” he said, “it’s at the south end of the park, great dumplings.”

Ed snorted.

“Do you not like Xing food, Ed?” Anna asked him.

“It’s fine,” he said, not looking at her, she wasn’t supposed to be nice to him, she’s supposed to be a _bitch_ , because he didn’t want to like her.

“Let’s go then,” Roy said and gave Ed’s shoulder a little push. Anna fell into Roy’s left with Ed on Roy’s right and they started off through the park.

Ed didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all. Roy looked so happy to see her and they were now chatting as they walked, making Ed feel like a third wheel because he didn’t know what or who they were talking about. It wasn’t right for him to be out with _his_ boyfriend while some _girl_ was taking all his attention. So what she knew him before he was a state alchemist? So what they hadn’t seen each other in a long time and needed to catch up? So what? So what? So WHAT?!

He’d finally gotten something that was _his_ , his alone that he didn’t have to share with the world. Hell, even liked it that they _had_ to keep it a secret and now she was here and Roy was all like _this_. Everyone knew Roy liked girls, hell that was just an understatement. Roy was _defined_ by them at the office, by which conquest he’d made and when. Havoc had a goddamn flowchart! It just made him sick, she was so nice and she was _tall_ and Roy was laughing at something she said and she kept looking over at him and he wanted to scream at her: _What’s wrong, never seen a boy before?!_ But he couldn’t, because that would make Roy mad, and since when did he care if Roy got mad at him or not?

Since he started loving the bastard, go figure.

He didn’t care how good the food was, he was _not_ going to have a good time.

***

  
Roy turned and looked at Anna.

 _Jealous_ , he mouthed.

Anna nodded a bit. The boy was so short, she kept trying not to peek at him as they walked, and he was so… lovely. Well, Roy Mustang really knew how to pick them, not that it still didn’t turn her stomach, but that night when she’d left Roy there looking like he was going to cry… well, that turned her stomach, too.

This was wrong. It just ate at her in ways that it shouldn’t, and yet she loved Roy and didn’t want to see him hurt. She had to find a way to protect him from himself. He could be such an idiot, this almost little brother of hers. He is rash to the point of self-destruction sometimes; she only wished he didn’t do this with things like his heart. She should try to understand this boy, she should try to make friends with him too. Maybe in that way she could help them both.

“What is your alchemic specialty?” she asked Ed as they walked.

Ed sliced his golden eyes to her.

“I don’t think Ed has one specialty,” Roy said between them, “Not like Harry or I with fire, Ed sort of just does what the occasion calls for, like a jack-of-all-trades alchemist, he’s brilliant like that,” Roy smiled at Ed and Ed swallowed.

“That’s amazing, so it’s primarily matter transmutation?” she said.

“Yes,” Roy said.

“Roy, let Ed answer me himself,” Anna said flatly.

“Oh sorry, it’s the sponsor thing,” Roy shrugged.

“The Colonel has pretty much got it down,” Ed muttered, “it’s just like he says.”

Anna looked at Roy, thinned her lips and looked ahead again.

Roy groaned inwardly.

 _Yes, you’re very proud of him, but keep your mouth shut and let him talk, it’s not good that Anna already thinks I’m brainwashing him._

Fortunately, the restaurant came into view.

They got a table for three on the front walk under the awning and all sat down as they had arrived, Anna, Roy, then Ed.

At first, the atmosphere was easy because there was a menu to study and tastes to debate.

“I like the chicken with almonds,” Anna said.

“I like the chicken with cashews,” Roy said.

“I don’t want chicken,” Ed snapped.

“Well they have pork and beef as well,” Anna said.

“Ed will eat anything that doesn’t try to eat him first,” Roy chuckled.

“I can read the menu on my own,” Ed seethed, “And you shuddup,” he directed at the Colonel.

“Ed, they have shrimp,” Roy said.

Ed got a twitch in his eye and his face turned a bit red, and then Roy realized what he said and patted the air.

“It was only a suggestion,” Roy pleaded, “Look I read it here on the menu!”

Anna looked between them.

“You don’t have to tell me what to eat,” Ed growled and gulped and managed to contain himself.

“I’m not trying to, what is with you tonight,” Roy frowned.

“I think Ed can decide on his own Flamey, want to share halfsies with me on the chicken?” Anna asked.

“Yes, that would be great,” Roy said.

“I want fish!” Ed interjected.

“Well, then have it,” Roy said, looking over at him.

“I don’t suppose since you’re already splitting your chicken with _her_ you’ll want to share it,” Ed sneered.

“I’d love to share with you too Ed, we could all three share,” Roy tried to placate.

“I hate almonds,” Ed flipped his menu up to hide his face.

Roy felt his stomach try to crawl into his shoes. It was getting out of hand, so totally out of hand. This amount of jealousy could only come from a _child_ and this is not the side of Ed he desperately wanted Anna to see. He wanted that bright-eyed, smiling, savvy dinner conversationalist that had so thoroughly entranced him over a steak and stolen cognac. He wanted the laughing face that cheerfully informed him that the sky was blue due to light reflections and not romanticism, he wanted his _lover_ , not this jealous sulking child hiding behind a menu.

He looked over at Anna and she made a small helpless shrug. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all, he couldn’t blame Ed for having been inundated by Roy’s reputation from the moment he walked into Central HQ those years ago, but he had thought that at least Ed would give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Edward,” Roy said, his voice tight.

Ed lowered the menu and looked at him.

“Is something wrong?” Roy asked evenly, “Are you not feeling well? Did something upset you that I didn’t know about?”

Ed turned scarlet, the Colonel was drilling him like he would a kid kicking his feet under the table, and in front of _her_. He didn’t want to be here with her anyway, he wanted to share chicken and fish with just Roy. Somewhere his rational mind cried out for him to think about what he was doing, his behavior, how he wanted to make a first impression _(his rational always sounded like his brother)_ , but try as he might he just couldn’t listen.

“I’m fine,” Ed said, trying to keep his voice steady, “Why do you ask?”

“Well, because you’re being very rude,” Roy said quietly, leaning toward him.

Anna winced. “Roy…” she said.

Ed slammed the menu down and jumped to his feet.

“I’m sorry I’m so rude it’s hard to take me anywhere,” he snarled and jerked around the table and headed for the street.

“Ed,” Roy called, starting to stand, but Anna put a hand on his arm.

“You better let me,” she said, “this might be my only chance to reason with him, it’s about you after all, we both know it.” She stood up and chased after the blonde boy.

***

“Edward, please wait!”

It was _her_ voice, what the hell did she want? Why was it her and not the Colonel. He pretended ignorance, looked both ways and crossed the street into the park.

“Edward,” Anna also crossed the street, trusting her longer stride to catch him,  
“Please, let me speak with you, please?”

 _She’s his friend._

Slowly, Ed came to a halt. He jammed his hands into his pockets, but he didn’t turn around.

Anna walked up beside him and stopped. She reached to push her glasses further up her nose and sighed.

“What do you want?” Ed asked, now that Roy wasn’t there to witness it, the fight was apparently leaving him.

“I just wanted to speak to you, and find out why you’re so upset, to find out what I’ve done or said to make you angry,” Anna started.

Ed turned to look at her.

“It’s not you,” he said and then avoided her eyes, “I don’t know what he’s told you, but it’s not really about you…”

“Then is it about him?” Anna said.

Ed didn’t say anything.

“If it helps,” Anna said, “he’s told me everything.”

Ed jerked his eyes to her face and looked stricken, and then angry, so many emotions to play so quickly over young features. Then he worked his jaw.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” she said.

Ed shook his head and sighed.

“You didn’t, you haven’t. I guess it’s kind of a relief in a strange way,” Ed looked at her sidelong, “so how long did you date him?”

Now it was Anna’s turn to clam up, but then she snorted, and snickered and laughed.

“I never dated him, I was too smart for that,” she said with a wicked grin.

“Why not?” Ed said, suddenly insulted on Roy’s behalf, “Every woman has, they all think he’s great!”

“What do you think,” Anna said, trying to smother her smile.

“I think he’s a bastard!” Ed cried.

“Oh my god, marry me,” Anna said and laughed some more, leaving Ed standing there bewildered.

***

They found a park bench and they sat, not too close but not so far as to be pressed to the arms on the opposite sides.

“I’m worried about him,” Anna said.

“Why?” Ed asked.

“Because of this, and you, this situation,” Anna said bluntly.

“I see,” Ed said, “because of his rank and my age, right?”

“Yes, exactly right,” she nodded, “but not just for him, for you too. People like Roy might think they are doing the right thing and that they don’t mean any harm in what they are doing, but sometimes their good intentions get in the way of their… oh… what’s the word I’m looking for… moral fiber? They let things run away with them.”

Ed looked over at her.

“You don’t have to protect me from him,” he said surprised, “I can protect myself… but you want to protect him from me,” Ed’s voice sank to almost a whisper, “because if things got out it would be worse for him.”

  
“I don’t mean it to sound like I think you’re a bad person, or even bad for him,” Anna said slowly, “but I’m glad you realize where my feelings are coming from.”

Ed nodded.

“I think about it, I do,” he said, “Sometimes it scares me and I just want to tell him that it’s over and I’m never coming back, because I don’t want anything bad to happen to him,” Ed clasped his hands together and leaned over his knees, “but then he’ll say something to me or he’ll smile at me and it makes me want so much…” but he trailed off and looked at Anna again.

“Forgive me,” Ed said, “but I don’t know you so well and maybe there are some things I want to keep to myself.”

“Understood,” Anna nodded, “I can appreciate you wanting to protect yourself, I can even appreciate you wanting to protect him.”

Ed gave a half smile.

“He hardly needs me to protect him, he’s got you,” he offered as an olive branch.

Anna grinned.

“Well, I’m not always around, so it’s good to see he’s in good hands,” she accepted it with grace.

“I bet he thinks you’ve had to chase me all the way back to the apartment,” Ed said, sighing and straightening up.

“He can wait a little, its fun to watch him stew,” Anna said.

“I like the way you think,” Ed said with a smirk.

“You know,” Anna said, smirking back, “I have reservations about this, but I like you. I can’t help it, it seems my character flaw to like disagreeable men.”

Ed preened.

“I’m spoken for,” he said.

Anna laughed.

As they walked back to the restaurant, Anna looked over at Roy’s boyfriend _(what a funny thing this is)_ , he looked back at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Sometimes you’ll have to be more of the adult that he is,” Anna said.

Ed snorted.

“You say that like you think I don’t already know,” he grumbled.

***

When they walked back up, side by side, Roy’s eyes darted anxiously between them and he stood.

“Where’s the food?” Ed asked.

“Wha… what?” Roy stammered.

“You didn’t order the food already? I’m starved!” Ed demanded.

“But…” Roy trailed off.

“Swift, Hot Stuff, real swift as usual,” Anna said.

Roy sat back down slowly. Ed plopped back down in his chair.

“Head…” Ed said and rapped his automail knuckles against his own gently.

“Like a rock,” Anna finished and sat down as well.

“Well screw you both,” Roy snorted.

***

It was much later.

Ed’s husky moan sent goose bumps coursing through Roy’s every nerve as he drew the boy further into his mouth and gently, slowly, pressed a finger into him, working him slowly. He wanted to keep Ed used to the sensation.

Edward arched as much as he could with Roy’s free hand pinning his hip and threaded shaking flesh fingers into short black hair.

Roy took his time over the boy, tongue seeking the thick vein running up the underside of Ed’s cock, second finger joining the first and hooking in just that certain way. Edward cried out, tossed his head and clutched at the headboard with the click clank of his automail hand.

Roy began to pump him in time to the long draws on his cock, Ed’s chorus of moans bounced off the walls, around the room and vibrated against Roy’s own cock. Roy had to hump the bed a bit and groan around his mouthful.

 _You are…_

 _Everything._

Ed’s cries rose in pitch and he threaded the name ‘Roy’ into them, not Colonel. Roy surged on the boy, with mouth and fingers, and Ed halfway shrieked with the power behind it, sobbing raggedly. The headboard rattled ominously in a steel grip.

 _I don’t care what may come, as long as we face it together._

Ed’s automail knee raised suddenly and Roy, as lust addled as he was, darted nervous eyes toward it, because sex was one thing, getting clocked with steel was another. But it stayed bent and leaned wide as Ed tried to open further for him, so Roy rewarded the boy with strokes and hard sucks and Ed writhed and cried his name again, and then he came.

The sheer joy of this act with this boy was getting to look at him afterwards, it was a sight Roy carried with him always now, the relaxed splay of limbs, the wild froth of golden hair, the trembling flushed lips, the heaving chest, and the look of peace that Ed never had when he was coherent.

That was the best part, despite everything.

Golden eyes opened slowly and Ed turned his head to look at Roy, who was sitting up between his knees smiling down at him.

 _I love you,_ he wanted to say.

But instead he said; “I’ll protect you.” Roy blinked and swallowed and reached to stroke Ed’s lips.

“I’ll protect you,” Ed whispered against Roy’s shaking fingers.

Roy lowered himself slowly over the boy and kissed him.

  



	9. Chapter 9

When Roy came back from the staff meeting about light bulbs, Ed was sitting at the end of the table watching the heart of the military at work. Everyone was in their proper places and everyone was perfectly concentrated and everyone knew their job.

Havoc would take the paper, mark the paper and slide it to Fuery. Fuery would inspect the paper, stamp the paper, then inspect it again and slide it to Falman. Falman would also inspect the paper, give a sniff of disdain over the paper, then nod at the paper and put it in a folder. He’d slide the folder to Breda, who would stack the folder on top of another folder. Then at certain precise intervals, First Lieutenant Hawkeye would appear out of thin air and take the folders off to their doom. Only now, Breda had fallen asleep and some of the folders were teetering precariously on the table edge.

“What are you doing?” Roy asked Ed.

“It’s like a train wreck,” Ed said, looking glazed, “I don’t want to watch, but I have to.”

“Well come over here and get a briefing, what do you know about the wattage of light bulbs?” Roy said.

“I can’t,” Ed breathed, “I have to see if one of the folders actually falls or not,” his eyes never wavering from the scene in front of him.

Roy shrugged and turned to walk back to his desk.

“Help me,” Ed said behind him.

***

“You are telling me that my mission is to go down to the cleaner to pick up your spare uniform and then go and buy light bulbs?” Ed asked incredulously, “That’s my mission?”

“Do you think you can handle it FullMetal? I know you’ve been under a lot of stress lately and your reports have just been as sloppy as ever. I thought that you would appreciate it if I gave you something a bit domestic to do,” The Colonel said , studying his nails.

Ed took a deep breath, ready to tell the Colonel where he could stuff his domesticity, when the sound of clanking that had been faint before, grew thunderously loud and his younger brother came running into the office.

“Brother, brother, guess what!” Al said, waving his gloved hands back and forth in front of him, “You’ll never guess!”

Ed jumped to his feet and looked at Al, it must be something urgent to get Al so excited.

“You got a lead on the stone? Some misfiled bit of information?” he said, eyes lighting up, “you mean all that puppy-like following of the First Lieutenant has finally paid off?!”

Al took a swing at Ed and Ed ducked.

“NO,” Al said, “but I just had a chat with Corporal Higgins in the hall.”

“The lunch guy?!” Ed said excitedly.

“Yeah and they’re having noodles with meat sauce in the mess hall today!” Al crowed.

“No WAY!” Ed said and bounced up and down in place.

“WAY!” Al said.

Then the brothers high five’d, or they high three’d, because Ed couldn’t get high enough to five.

“Score!” the elder Elric gushed.

Roy had watched the exchange silently, but felt the need to add his own two cents.

“Why are you so excited Al,” he asked reasonably, “I mean, you don’t eat, right?”

“I don’t know,” Al admitted, “I just am! Ed will get it all over his shirt and I’ll have to wash it!” Al seemed giddy at the process.

“Well, you have fun with that,” Roy said drolly.

“Thanks sir,” Alphonse twittered merrily, “I will.”

 _The armor is eating it’s way though his brain, we have to do something quick._ The Colonel mused.

***

  
First Lieutenant Hawkeye had gone to run an errand and so the Colonel was making himself comfortable all slouched in his chair.

Havoc walked over to his desk and said: “I went out with Stephanie last night.”

With the First Lieutenant safely out of the building, Havoc and the Colonel could indulge in a little ‘guy talk’.

“Stephanie?” the Colonel said, “Stephanie from supply? Stephanie from legal? Stephanie from that bar on the square?”

“No, no and no,” Havoc said, and since the First Lieutenant would likely be out of the office for some while since the Colonel had given her bad directions, he took out a cigarette and stuck it in his mouth. The Colonel causally fished out a glove and pulled it on. Havoc stood very still while the Colonel squinted and wrinkled his nose, and then he snapped and the end of Havoc’s cigarette flared briefly and settled down into a comforting glow. Being allowed to smoke in the office was Havoc’s reward for not pointing out to First Lieutenant Hawkeye that the Colonel had given her bad directions on purpose.

“This Stephanie works for a foundation,” Havoc said, “and she’s a redhead to boot.”

“Oh yes,” The Colonel said, “I remember her, about so tall, great rack, likes dogs,” and the Colonel slouched some more, looking like an abandoned rag doll.

Havoc swallowed. “Well yes,” he said, “that would be the one. But I’ve dated her twice,” he rushed to add.

From the depths of his chair, the Colonel cocked one thin black eyebrow and his smile was shiny and sharp.

“So, you’ve dated her twice, have you… “The Colonel waved his still gloved hand in the air. “Have things gotten intimate?” he said, smiling at the ceiling tiles.

Havoc clenched and unclenched his fists.

“Not yet,” the blonde Lieutenant confessed, “but I think it’s more important to have a relationship first and not just rush into things,” he tried to sound refined instead of desperate at that point. Then he let out a sigh of defeat, and said: “How long did it take you?”

The Colonel’s evil black orbs dropped back to ravage his face and the Colonel said airly: “I think it was 15 minutes, and she asked first,” he said.

Havoc took a deep inhale of his cigarette, let the smoke bleed slowly out of his nose and circle his head like his very own smoky crown of long suffering lovelorn-ed-ness. “You’re lying.”

The Colonel, who was slouched so far down in his chair by now, that you almost couldn’t see him over his desk said: “Yeah, so what?”

  
***

Ed casually pushed the requisition form across the desk to Sergeant Rusk and studied his glove hidden automail digits.

“What’s this?” Rusk asked.

“A requisition,” Ed said.

Rusk picked up the paper and studied it for a moment.

“Ok, machine oil, shop rags, lubricant,” Rusk said.

Ed shrugged.

“Al’s bath day,” he said.

***

  
It was night, he was at home, he was naked and so was Ed. These things made up for the crick in his neck from slouching in his chair at the office all afternoon. He was also not dead because he’s managed to scurry out of the office before the First Lieutenant could find him. He was very pleased with himself at finding a good hiding spot and being able to get out of the building unseen. Tonight, he would finish out his will, leaving everything to Ed and making sure Ed had a copy of it on him in the morning, for when the First Lieutenant killed him dead for being both a slacker and practical joker, neither of which fit into her vision of military correctness.

“Let’s do something different tonight,” the Colonel said, smiling and playing with blonde bangs.

“You’re in a good mood for a walking dead man,” Ed said, “I can hear Hawkeye cleaning her gun from here,” and the boy, charming and naked flopped over into his lap and preened at the attention the Colonel was giving him.

“It’s been a while since we had a proper lesson,” the Colonel said, feeling giddy and free since tomorrow he would be dead and whatever he did tonight would go to the grave with him, so he better make it good.

Golden eyes widened then narrowed as Ed stretch languidly. The Colonel petted him and he began to purr.

“What did you have in mind,” the imp in his lap said, wiggling all around to be petted in certain places.

“Kink,” the Colonel said, “some good old fashioned kink on the vanilla side, since you are new.”

“Vanilla kink,” Ed asked, “what the hell is that?”

Roy patiently explained bondage, the tamest of all kinks in his book and watched as Ed’s eyes circumferenced his face. Ed had violently shaken his head ‘no’ at the end and started to get off the bed, but Roy grabbed him and held him against his chest and rubbed his automail arm and nuzzled his lips in blonde strands. When Ed finally stopped struggling to get away, he spoke again.

“I know,” Roy said, “I know why the thought of being tied up isn’t appealing to you, but I was thinking that perhaps you might like to do it to me?”

Ed gave a little jerk, then his eyebrows furrowed. He hadn’t thought of it like that.

“I get to tie you up?” Ed said finally.

“Yes,” Roy said, “and then you get to do whatever you want with me.” That was a very generous offer, Roy decided, and safe since Ed himself was so vanilla, it was cavity inducing.

“Ok,” Ed said, “then I’m in.” And the boy got up on his knees and looked at the Colonel.

“I have some old ties in the closet we can use,” Roy said helpfully and leaned forward.

“Nah, that’s ok, time for me to earn my keep,” Ed said cheerily and he pushed one of Roy’s arms back against the headboard, clapped his hands and laid them to either side of Roy’s wrist. The headboard shuddered, then seem to liquefy and wound itself lovingly around Roy’s wrist, tight, but not enough to bite, and then it hardened again quickly.

“Neat trick,” Roy said.

“It’s a gift, what can I say,” Ed said, and did the other wrist.

***

Ed had the Colonel naked, bound and helpless, and still the bastard looked like he was in control. He smirked at Ed and tugged on his wrists a little and cocked an eyebrow.

What could Ed possibly do to make that look go away? Ed wanted to be the boss, after all the bastard was tied up and said that Ed could do whatever he wanted to do, but that meant that Ed could put his mouth on him down there and then have to brush his teeth a few times afterwards. That is what the Colonel really meant when he told Ed he could do whatever he wanted to.

So Ed was not going to do that, but if not that, then what? His hand? They did that a lot too. As a matter of fact, without mouths and hands there would be no sex at all, not that Ed was complaining or anything, but this situation called for spontaneity, innovation and down right wickedness. Ed was a master of these skills in the field; he could just about transmute his way out of any sticky situation that came along the pass. In fact, he was so good at it, that he had gotten a reputation for being reckless by rushing headlong at any roadblock that got in his way, simply for the fact that _he_ was sure a resounding clap of his hands and a little know how would render nothing impossible. He and Al had already conquered so many impossible things, that he thought the definition of the word should hold a disclaimer: _unless your name is Elric._

So in that way, his confidence was immeasurable. But here, in this bed, in this room, with this man, he felt like a mouse. His mind suddenly pounced on a tidbit of information, something he had done on one of those long train rides back into the Colonel’s arms not so long ago. He had borrowed one of Al’s _books._

Even for sensationalist fiction it has been horrible, how did Al read this dribble, but as he waded through the chapters with really nothing better to do than to try _not_ to think about that bastard, he hit upon a section that made Ed see why Al consumed the things the way Ed himself consumed chocolate, and he was pretty sure that what he read about was a _kink_. Yes, he was pretty sure. No, he was positively sure, because no normal person would do that so willingly. In fact, no sane person would, but being here in this bed, in this room, with this man was enough to put his own sanity into question to begin with. So yes, he’d do that, because the bastard wouldn’t suspect that. In fact, the bastard was smirking at him so intently he knew that the bastard was literally willing him to put his mouth down there and he wasn’t going to do that _(at least not yet, maybe later, after the bastard begged him to, or something)_.

“I have a kink,” Ed said hesitantly.

The Colonel almost jerked the headboard off the bed frame, he leaned forward so hard.

“A kink,” the bastard said in breathless wonder, then gasped and then he was _hard_ , just like that. It surprised them both so much that they both jerked back, only the Colonel couldn’t get away from it because it was like, attached.

Ed started to scoot back, but the Colonel clamped his knees on either side of his hips and strained against his own bound wrists, which was just… wonderful, Ed thought. He looked wonderful all helpless and desperate like that, and Ed felt a twinge between his own legs.

“Please tell me about it,” the Colonel said with a definite plea in voice, “I really want to know what it is. I mean, because I want you to get into this too,” he finished out sounding eager, but trying to sound like he was being concerned.

Ed worked his jaw, plucked a pillow from behind the bastard’s back and flopped it behind him between the bastard’s outstretched legs. Roy watched as he made himself at home there, laying back, looking up at Roy. He dropped his legs over either side of Roy’s hips and Roy’s balls brushed against Ed’s ass, causing him yanked on his wrists again making this sound, a little whiny sound, that to Ed’s shock and amazement, made him _squirm_.

It was giddy, this sudden burst of power Ed felt. The Colonel twisted against his bound wrists, looking down at the offering splayed in front of him just out of his reach. He made a positively male sound, a growl from deep in his chest and now Ed was hard and the Colonel had done it to him just like he’d done it to the Colonel and that was wonderful, too.

 _He wants to touch me._ Ed thought and swallowed.

 _But he can’t, I’m the boss._

 _He has to do what I say._

“You can’t cum,” the boy said loudly, boldly. ‘You can’t cum until I say,” and his cheeks were bright red since he’d never said anything like _cum_ before and the Colonel though about chewing an arm off to get free.

The Colonel licked his lips and panted and said: “What are you going to do to me?”

“I’m not going to do anything to you,” Ed said. With cheeks, neck and chest red, he reached slowly with his flesh hand and gripped his own erection.

Roy’s eyes exploded in their sockets, his breath lodged in his throat, and his cock tried to pull free. Roy knew that it wasn’t tomorrow morning that was going to kill him, it was tonight.

Ed was stroking himself and making noises and arching up into his own hand and was making more noises and was right there between _his own fucking legs_ and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Roy’s chest heaved, the headboard rattled hard and sweat dripped from his chin and landed on Ed’s arm and stomach. Ed twisted his head as his mouth said Roy’s name. His fingers stopped at the head of his cock as he fingered his own damn slit before starting to stroke again. The Colonel made a sound like a caged animal and slammed the headboard back into the wall.

The little bastard laughed.

“If you cum,” Ed husked out, “I’ll stop.”

Roy both hated him and loved him more in that moment than anything that had ever come before.

Roy’s vision swam and he nodded numbly. Must obey. If he obeyed, after Ed was done, he would take pity. Yes he would, and then Roy would fucking beg, oh yes, he would fucking well beg for those smirking lips to wrap around his cock and Roy would fucking well tell this kid, this goddamn little tease, just how fucking incredible he was, because Roy had no pride. All of Roy’s pride had seeped out of the soles of his feet the moment Ed had touched himself.

Ed arched hard, his ass leaving the bed and Roy bent over as far as he could, mouth open so wide it was painful, but he couldn’t reach. He made a raw, hungry sound and Ed collapsed down again, cried Roy’s own goddamn name again and groaned. If the Fuhrer were to walk into this bedroom at this very goddamn minute and announce he was succeeding his seat to Roy, then the Colonel would have just been forced to tell him to get the _fuck OUT!_

His cock began to write a declaration of independence. It and the twins were defecting. They wanted to go live with Ed and they didn’t see why they needed the rest of the body to come with them.

“Ed,” Roy’s voice ground out and it sounded nothing like him at all, it sounded like chains being dragged over asphalt behind a truck. Roy tried again to free his hands and again the headboard held him. He actually sobbed and shook his head, spraying sweat over the boy beneath him, and then Ed tensed in the way Roy knew all to well, with his eyes wide open, his mouth making a perfect little ‘o’ and Ed came with a lusty wail and it was _GODDAMN UNFAIR_. The Colonel slammed himself into the headboard one last time and clenched his fists so tight, his nails made his palms bleed.

But Ed had cum.

 _It had fucking well better be his turn soon!_

***

Ed was… warm and lazy and content. He stretch and sighed, turning to rub his nose against the inside of someone’s knee.

The Colonel made a choked sound.

Oh yes, the Colonel.

Another languid stretch and Ed opened his eyes to meet the black eyes of a predator. A predator barely contained by restrains at his wrists.

“You didn’t cum, did you?” Ed asked, voice still climax husky.

“No,” came a guttural sound, nothing like a voice.

“Good,” Ed didn’t feel like sitting up, but he did stretch out his flesh leg to run the side of his foot over a sweat-slicked flank.

“Touch me,” the snarl said again.

“Not yet,” Ed said and regarded the white painted ceiling.

“Do you want me to beg,” the grating sound said, snarling at the end.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that,” Ed said dreamily, “but that might be nice.”

Roy wet his lips, he had suggested this after all.

“Ed,” he managed, “touch me,” he panted, “with your mouth goddamnPLEASE,” he managed and stopped to breath and then gathered himself to continue, “or with your hand, whatever you want,” and he struggled again and pulled at his wrists, “just put some fucking part of your body on some fucking part of mine before I DIE!”

Sometime during this heart wrenching appeal to this golden haired angel of sexual mercy, the boy had sat up. His legs were still splayed over Roy’s and he was leaning back on his hands. His blonde bangs were half obscuring his eyes and his lips were pulled into a smirk.

“That was really nice, even if you got a nasty mouth,” his vision of climax nirvana to come said, “I think I might have to do something for you now,” the words tumbled form his heavenly lips, “my poor Colonel,” his vision of divine, sated completion cooed.

  
Yes oh yes, his love, his one true happiness. The boy moved to sit on his knees, then he began wiping his hands in the sheets and Roy got out: “No, don’t waste it!” and opened his mouth, but Ed grimaced at him with disgust and wiped harder.

Roy jiggled in place, he never jiggled, but he couldn’t sit still as Ed reached up and tucked his bangs behind his ears and crawled forward looking down into the Colonel’s lap intently. The Colonel’s cock, already crying for joy, also did a little jiggle and waved cheerily at Ed. Ed grinned and touched the tip with one finger. He made a disgusted sound and wiped his finger on the sheet, then pulled the sheet up and wiped the head of Roy’s cock free of pre-cum.

Roy made several choked off threats during this entire operation and pulled hard at his wrists and leaned harder and managed to get his mouth on Ed’s head. He tried to bite down a bit, thinking of how a mother cat carried her kittens, to pull the boy closer but Ed just grunted and swatted at him saying: “Stoppit.” so he did, because he could not think about upsetting his darling right now, no he could not, not while the boy hovered over his cock with an opened mouth. But then he stopped and looked up at the Colonel again and Roy’s jaw flapped gracelessly as he felt tears gather in his eyes. “You have really nice shoulders, Roy. I mean, while you’re pulling like that, your shoulders really stand out.”

 _What? What did that have to do with anything ED, and please oh god please ED and get to fucking work now, goddamn you ED!_

The boy looked at his face once more, then tilted his head down, opened his mouth and lowered his head.

The phone rang.

Ed’s head jerked up. “I’ll get it,” he chirped.

“NOLEAVEIT,” Roy screamed, but he was already off the bed and out the door before the last syllable bounced off the ceiling.

Roy gaped after the departed boy, this was not happening. It was NOT. He refused to let his happen. He heard Ed shout from the other room.

The boy said: “WHAT?!”

“EDDDDDDD,” Roy screamed, “EDGETBACKINHERE,” he didn’t give a fuck who was on the phone. No he didn’t, he didn’t care who knew, no he didn’t, “EDGETOFFTHEFUCKINGPHONE,” he screamed again.

The there was the sound of running feet. Finally the boy was listening to reason, but the running feet did not come into the bedroom.

“EEEEDDDDD,” Roy screamed, “I’MINHERE,” he reminded him in case the boy forgot, but how could he fucking forget and DAMN THE MANUFACTUERS OF THIS FUCKING STURDY HEADBOARD.

Ed appeared briefly in the doorway of the bedroom, dressed in the clothes abandoned earlier in the living room, but all untucked and askew.

“IHAVETOGOSOMETHINGHAPPENEDIHAVETOGOTOAL!

” the boy screamed back.

“WHYTHEFUCKAREYOUDRESSEDFUCKITWHATAREYOUDOINGGODDAMNITED,” Roy howled not hearing a word.

“ICAN’TSTANDAROUNDHEREARGUINGWITHYOUALNEEDSMEIHAVETOGO!” Ed bellowed and turned on his heel and ran away.

Roy panted and stared, wetting his lips. This was an insane cruel joke. “Ed,” he called again, trying to sound reasonable, rather than sounding homicidal. “Ed?”

The front door opened and slammed.

Ok, Ed was taking the joke too far.

“Ed?” Roy called one last time in anything near sane decibels. There was no answer.

  
……

  
……

  
“NOOOOOOOGODDAMMITNOOOOOO” the Flame Alchemist screamed for all the world to hear, he thrashed and slammed and kicked his feet and he fucking cried.

“Someone hates me,” he sobbed, “someone just fucking hates me, it’s YOU isn’t it,” he screamed at the ceiling. His cock had just declared a coup and was rallying his internal organs into rebellion.

“You shut the FUCK UP,” Roy screamed at his lap and then hung against his bonds.

He was going to fucking kill the little bastard. He was fucking going to fry every last hair on his fucking little blonde head.

***

Ed tried to commit suicide by running in front of a cab, but it screeched to a halt, barely bumping his stomach. While the driver gawked and swore, Ed ran around the side and jumped in.

“I need to get to the East City Military Headquarters,” he shrieked, “Just as fast as you can take me!”

Ed kept replaying the phone conversation over and over in his mind.

“Brother?” Al had said tentatively, sounding distant on the phone.

“Yeah,” Ed had answered, hopping foot to foot and listening to Roy scream, which only made him smile.

“I really hate to bother you,” Al said again, sounding faint.

“Al, speak up, I can barely hear you, and you uh, better hurry, I’m sorta busy,” Ed said.

Then he heard Al say: “Lieutenant Havoc, hold the phone closer.” which was kind of odd.

“What’s wrong?” Ed said immediately, “What’s Havoc doing there?”

“Um,” Al said, “I need you to come home.”

“What? I can’t right now, is it important?” Ed said, twisting the cord and listening to the loud thunks coming from the bedroom where Roy was trying to rip the headboard free of the bed frame.

“I got run over by a truck,” Al said.

“WHAT?!” Ed had screamed.

Then, sounding like he was talking out of a box, he heard Havoc say: “He’s really flat.”

Then Breda: “We could slide him under the door of your dorm room until you get back,” he chuckled.

Then Fuery: “I feel terrible. You guys, stop teasing him.”

Then Falman, faintly, from way far away: “It was probably a supply truck, it looks like an eight-wheeler.”

Al had been run over by a supply truck. Ed lost his mind.

“WHAT?!” he screamed again.

“You see,” Al said, “there was this kitty….”

“NO, I’ll be RIGHT THERE!” Ed screamed into the phone.

“My helmet’s ok,” Al said, trying to sound positive, “it came off and rolled away.”

“I’m coming Al!” Ed half sobbed, hung up and ran to put on his clothes, then he ran and told the Colonel and then he ran to catch this cab, funny thing that, the Colonel not offering to come with him.

***

Roy heard someone muttering and he wished they’d shut the hell up. His cock was still aching and he couldn’t even reach it to do anything about it himself. But whoever was muttering was first on his list for fiery death when he got free. This muttering bastard, and then the FullMetal Alchemist, both of them goners and nothing was going to save them.

He should have known. He just should have known it would be like this. Because it was sex and it was Ed and apparently that combination of things screwed with the whole fabric of the universe.

His wrists were sore and bruised by now, but the headboard was too well made. He’d tried catching his erection between his thighs, ignoring the fact it was physically impossible. He’d even screamed for Ed a few more times on the off chance that he’d accidentally slipped, hit his head and knocked himself out but was waking up by now.

No, he’s not sure why he was hated as much as he was, but if he had to suffer, then his whole goddamn world had to suffer, starting with one SHORT, ABSOLUETLY MINISCULE, SHRIMP of a BOY… who he loved so much it was a tangible thing. But that still wouldn’t stop him from killing him.

***

Ed came running into the office, ran right into Falman and toppled him onto Fuery. Fuery hit Havoc who stumbled over a metal rug on the floor and fell on Breda.

Ed was the only one left standing.

“WHERE’S AL?!” he shrieked, and followed everyone’s gaze back to the floor.

His baby brother looked like a blow up doll with only the legs inflated. His shoulders, arms, chest, pelvis area and upper legs where… flat. Only from the knees down did the thing on the floor resemble Al, and that was only because one of the knees had a boot scuff on it that Ed remembered leaving there.

“ALPHONSE!” Ed wailed, “Where’s his head?!”

Havoc picked himself up off the floor and patted the helmet sitting on the Colonel’s desk.

“It’s fine,” Havoc said, “not a scratch on it.”

Edward ran over and fell to his knees beside his stricken brother.

“How did this happen?!” he demanded of the others in the room.

“I tried to tell you on the phone,” Al’s disembodied voice rang from the flat metal, “but you were too busy shrieking to listen.”

“The cat got out,” Fuery said, also picking himself up, then leveraging Falman back into a standing position, looking for the world like he was propping up a board.

“Cat?” Ed asked, then looked down at Al, “Cat?” he growled.

“It was raining!” Al defended, “so I just brought it in for a little while. You weren’t home and I thought it would stop raining before you got back!”

“I came by to pick up some books,” Fuery said, hauling on Breda’s arm, but Breda looked comfortable and wasn’t moving, “and when Al opened the dorm room door, the cat ran out.”

“I couldn’t just let it run around in the dorm hallways, so I chased it,” Al said, “but I think my clanking must have startled her. Anyway, she ran down the breeze way steps and outside.”

“Why didn’t you just let it go?” Ed asked, calmer now that the washboard that was his brother was speaking normally and the blood seal was apparently undamaged.

“Because it was still raining,” Al said, “but anyway, she ran out into the car lot and that’s a dangerous place for a kitty, so I went after her, but then she ran across to the fence and got out through a gap in the gate and that is the big road you know. I couldn’t let her roam around there, so I went after her and she darted out right in front of this truck…”

Ed covered his eyes with his hand.

“So, I threw myself out and shoved her out of the way,” Al said.

“And got run over by the truck,” Ed said.

“Yeah,” Al said, “and blew a bunch of its tires.”

“You know,” Ed said, “I honesty think that one day a cat will be the death of me.”

“You?” Al said.

“Yeah,” Ed said, “a cat and an idiot little brother who gets hit by trucks.”

“Well I’m sorry I’m sure,” Al snorted, “but I’ll be dead long before that because I’m the little brother of some idiot alchemist who things he’s nine feet tall and bullet proof.”

“Touché Alphonse, touché,” his brother said and clapped his hands.

  
***

After Ed had repaired Al, stood around and thanked everyone for helping out, and grit his teeth to let everyone make flat Al jokes, he was just exhausted. He dragged back to the dorm room on the heels of his younger brother, pulled off his clothes and collapsed on his bed. Al covered him up, gave him a fond pat on the head and retired to the table to read some new books Fuery had left him.

Ed slept peacefully. Al was ok and he was still pleasantly exhausted from earlier. He curled up under his blanket and nuzzled into his pillow, but after a bit he began to wonder why his pillow didn’t smell like that bastard’s cologne and that made him twitchy. That bastard had looked really good tonight. His eyes had been dark and wild, his hair clinging to his forehead and sweat trickling down his nose and off his chin. That had been… sexy. The Colonel had looked very sexy all crazed like that, teeth gritted making those delicious deep sounds, shoulders prominent every time he strained against his wrist that were alchemized to the headboard…

Edward Elric sat upright in bed and scared Alphonse Elric half to death.

“HE’S GOING TO KILL ME AND I’M GOING TO LET HIM,” his elder brother shrieked, jumped out of bed, barely threw on his clothes and ran out the door.

Alphonse Elric figured that now that Ed has a sex life, he was just going to put up with odd hours and even odder behavior. Besides, it was kind of nice when his brother came home afterwards; he was all cuddly like a kitty and always had a smile on his face.

  
***

Roy jerked awake when he heard panting. He imagined it was just his fevered imagination and he groaned because his back and shoulders were so stiff. The panting came over to the bed and there was a clapping sound with a flash of blue light that invaded under his half-raised eyelids. His arms were suddenly free and that really hurt, because when they dropped, all the blood rushed down to his fingertips like prodigal children rushing into the arms of their long lost families.

“Are you ok?” the panting voice said at the side of his bed. Roy gingerly rubbed one stiff wrist with the other hand. His brain, still in doze mode, only offered a grunt in response to the question.

“I’m really sorry,” the voice said again, calming now and getting its breath back, “are you sure you’re ok?”

Oh, it was Ed, what was Ed doing here?

“Hmmm,” the Colonel offered, “is it time to get up?” he asked.

Ed suddenly realized Roy wasn’t quite awake, but he was free now, which was his major concern. Maybe he should take this opportunity to just slip out the door. He turned around slowly and walked as silently as he could back the way he came.

There was a loud resounding ‘snap’ behind him and he froze in his tracks.

“Fuck,” the Colonel muttered, “forgot the gloves.”


	10. Chapter 10

Upon reflection, the chase had been spectacular.

Probably the only thing that saved Edward Elric’s life was that he got an inadvertent head start because Roy had one foot tangled in the sheets.

Ed was doing an impressive impersonation of a banshee on the rag.

“NO, DON’T KILL ME IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,” the boy was screaming as he careened down the hall, slamming into the wall once and knocking down a watercolor some maiden aunt had once tried to paint, but in reality had only suggested to the canvas. Predictably, the frame broke apart when it hit the floor.

More fuel for the fire.

“AL GOT RUN OVER BY A TRUCK, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?” Ed screeched, running across the kitchen table and launching himself at the counter. He slid across it, sweeping the canister set to the floor. Predictably, one of them flew open and the kitchen was covered in flour.

“IF YOU’LL CALM DOWN I’LL DO THE MOUTH THING,” Ed begged at the top of his lungs, falling over the coffee table, hauling himself up, but knocking over the side table by the chair and toppling the lamp to the floor. Predictably, it shattered into several elegant pieces and the lamp shade got crunched under a foot.

Then Roy, by miracle of miracles, got his fingers snagged in Ed’s short black jacket, but Ed, used to running for his life, had all manners of tricks. Not unlike how a snake unhinges its jaw, Ed unhinged his shoulders. They went straight back, allowing the jacket to come off easily in the Colonel’s grip. This slight second of astonishment on the Colonel’s behalf was enough for the boy to yank the front door open and tumble down the stoop steps.

“WE’LL TALK ABOUT THIS WHEN YOU FEEL BETTER,” Ed wailed all the way down the walk, over the hood of a car parked at the curb, across the street and down the sidewalk.

Roy stood naked and panting at the end of his walk. In one white knuckled grip he held a short black jacket with white piping that was usually seen in the company of a short blonde alchemist who was a _FUCKING LOUSY LAY!_ He threw the jacket on the ground, he stomped on it, he ground his heel into it, and still he didn’t feel better. He turned and stalked back up the walk, but before he got the stoop he stopped, turned back around and went back to snag the jacket by the sleeve and drag it behind him. His neighbor Mr. Caldwell was peering out of his bedroom window and Roy saluted him, marched into his apartment and slammed the door, causing the second water color painting by the same maiden aunt to topple off the wall in the foyer.

He noticed a boot print on one of his living room walls about eye high. So he hadn’t imagined it, Ed had run up the wall.

Someone had to die, preferably Edward Elric.

***

Only supreme force of will and sheer stupidity made him go into the office that morning. He sat ramrod straight at his desk because his back was armed and dangerous at the moment, and every time he tried to relax back into his chair, it waved around a dozen knives and hissed.

Breda had made the serious breech of protocol by first not noticing that the Colonel was in a mood beyond foul, and second, by attempting to make a joke about the Colonel’s posture in relation to Falman. The heavy set man had received a look so terrifying, so mind numbing, that it rooted him to the spot for several moments gibbering in fear. But then his survival instinct had kicked in at the last moment, forced his vocal cords to make the misleading statement ‘I have to call my mother’, to throw the predator off track and fled. On his way out, he scaled Havoc like the wall he couldn’t in boot camp and Havoc staggered, sputtered and then shook his fist at the fleeing man before heading into the office. He should have noticed the warning signs.

“Hey Colonel,” he said approaching the desk, the black eyes that lighted on him sent out a force so strong, he was held in place for a moment, foot in air. But Havoc was more than brave and he didn’t let this stop him. Once he could move again, he approached the desk and held out an unmarked envelope toward him.

“I ran into the chief downstairs,” Havoc said, “and he told me to give you this, and then for some reason he told me that following him would be useless, because he and Al were leaving right away on whatever train was at the station.” Havoc shrugged.

Roy lifted his hand very slowly _(because that’s all he could manage at the moment, his shoulders were having a turf war with his back and his neck was caught in the cross fire)_ and closed his fingers with a snap on the envelope. Havoc watched the Colonel move with slow precise measurements, mistaking it for poise instead of pain.

Roy managed to get the letter open, pulled the single folded sheet out and unfolded it.

 _I’m really sorry, I know you’re mad, I think some time apart would be good for us. So, I’m taking Al and heading for the hills. I’ll call at timed intervals to check in and see if there are any leads. Would you let Hawkeye answer the phone?_

 _I really am very sorry._

 _E._

Havoc stood silently and watched his commanding officer turn purple. He really was in a foul mood. With all that business yesterday, at least he hadn’t been around for that. Poor Al.

***

Havoc had been walking home from his date, or what could be laughingly called a date if he was in a good mood and drunk, (either way, it had been time out with a female) when he heard a loud horn, the sliding of tires and a deafening crunch coming from the direction of the main buildings on base.

Despite all appearances, Havoc really was a dedicated military man and something like an accident on base could create untold chaos, so he jogged in the direction of the sounds and came upon a frantic Cain Fuery, a very flat Alphonse Elric and a very confused truck driver. Taking control of the situation seemed the only thing to do. He calmed the driver and sent him off to the motor pool to rally the after hours crew to come out and repair the truck. After he left, he went over to Al and Fuery, kneeling beside the flattened suit of armor on the road.

“Al! Are you ok?” Havoc asked as Fuery wrung his hands.

“I’m fine, Lieutenant,” the young voice in a tin box said, “is the kitty alright?”

 _Kitty?_

“She’s fine, Al,” Cain reassured him, “she ran off behind the offices across the street.”

“Good,” Al said. “I can’t move.”

“That’s because you’re flat, Al,” Havoc said, “you’re not hurt?”

“Thank you for the concern Lieutenant, but no I’m not hurt, I don’t feel anything,” the boy supplied, meaning it to sound comforting instead of finalistic, as say someone who _wasn’t_ a suit of armor getting run over by a supply truck might say.

“I’m flat?” Al’s voice said, a rising slightly in pitch.

“It’s ok,” Havoc said, “We’re gonna take care of it, we’ll get Ed.”

“But Brother’s not home!” Al wailed, “he’s going to be mad,” the younger boy let his voice drop.

Despite being flat, Al didn’t weigh any less and Havoc knew Fuery wouldn’t be up to the task of moving him.

“Cain,” Havoc said, then reached up to tug his sleeve to get his attention,” run over to the dorms and get Breda, I’m going to need help moving him,” Havoc ordered. Cain nodded, gave one last whimper at Al and ran.

Havoc then had to stand and direct some traffic off in another direction before returning to Al’s side. The boy made another distressed sound and Havoc frowned, wondering how it felt to be so hollow and so helpless.

“It will be ok,” the need to comfort Al in some way made him pat the flattened armor, “We’ll get Ed, don’t worry. Where is he?”

Al was silent for a long moment, but then with a small defeated sigh, he said: “He’s at the Colonel’s.”

The seven feet of squashed metal sounded so helpless that it didn’t really sink in, and the Second Lieutenant reassured him again.

“I know the number, we’ll call him, don’t worry Al, we’ll get you taken care of,” Havoc said.

So Breda and Cain arrived, followed by Falman, and because Havoc had a key to the main office, that’s where they took him. When they arrived, Havoc dutifully dialed the phone and held the receiver close to the crushed neck of Al’s armor.

“Brother?” Al had said.

***

The little man with the bushy mustache and overalls woke up. He hadn’t had such a jolt in some time and it was surprising, to say the least, to be jostled from his contented nap of so many years. But, duty was duty. He fetched up his oil can, stepped out of his shack and ran the circular catwalk of Havoc’s mind to where the Great Gears hung in silent, rusting complacency of the familiar routine of having someone else think for him. It was strange to get such an alert from the waking conscious, but he leaned far over the railing and used his oil can liberally. He squirt some oil and tested to see if they would turn, then squirt some more. Finally, after many squirts and tests, the big wheels shuddered and groaned to life, slowly _turning_. Once they started turning, the rust crumbled away and fell to the pits of darkness below that the little man with the bushy mustache never wanted to see in the recess of the Second Lieutenant’s mind. The little man in the overalls and bushy mustache sincerely hoped he had interpreted the signals correctly, since it had been so long now since he’d had any kind of service, and he hoped that it wasn’t a bad thing for the Second Lieutenant to be _thinking_. After all, when people aren’t used to doing it on a regular basis, it can be a scary thing.

Havoc shuddered all over like an engine kicking to life. The Colonel, still absorbed in his letter, didn’t notice. Havoc looked around the office, noting that he and the Colonel were the only ones in it. He suddenly wondered why it was the Colonel’s phone number he’d dialed for Alphonse Elric, he wondered why Ed came rushing in, flushed and more or less half dressed, to fall on his knees at his brother’s side. He did addition, which he hadn’t done in _years_ and realized with a start that 2 + 2 = the Colonel was doing someone he shouldn’t. It was a weird and airy feeling that he’d figured something out on his own and for some reason he had the strangest impression of a small man in overalls with a bushy moustache jumping up and down on a catwalk in some dank place with giant gears. He shook his head, swallowed and looked at the Colonel once again.

The Colonel was usually the most tractable of creatures when he’s needs where being met and satisfied, but on the same note, he was the most vile of creatures when the usual font of lovelies was interrupted by something as tedious as work, so the Colonel had found a way to combine business and pleasure in one fell swoop.

The Colonel was fucking the FullMetal Alchemist.

 _No, that’s crazy._

 _Al hadn’t wanted to say, but then he did and when I called, Ed answered the phone._

 _Holy shit._

Roy Mustang glanced up at the Second Lieutenant after feeling the weight of the man’s stare bore into the top of his head.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” the Colonel growled.

Havoc blinked, then slowly took a cigarette from his pocket, stuck it between his lips and tapped the end.

“Well you can start, Flame-boy, by doing that little trick you’re so famous for,” Havoc drawled.

The Colonel’s eyes never moved from Havoc’s face, but they did, in fact, flash in intricate eye morse code, that the Second Lieutenant was treading very dangerous ground and should perhaps duck and cover within a very few moments.

“And after you do that, you can tell me why you switched sides and started shacking up with Ed. I mean, this has got to be the scoop of the century,” Havoc put his hands on his hips and wiggled the cigarette between his lips.

The Colonel’s skin went the color of pure driven snow, on the first day of the first fall, in a place very far away, where no human had ever set foot. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out one of his trademark gloves.

***

“This is the middle of nowhere,” Alphonse Elric said as they stepped off the carriage next to a lean to that served as the carriage stop.

“What do you mean,” Ed said, “they have an inn and… fields and look, isn’t that a cow?”

“Nowhere,” Al repeated, “and that’s pretty bad considering where we are from,” he turned his glowing eyes on his elder brother.

“Well, I thought that you know, we could pal around, travel a little for pleasure, I mean what’s the harm,” Ed said and tried to elbow Al in the side, but hit his elbow spike instead. Armor and automail made a dull cling and Ed flinched back, “I mean we don’t spend as much time together as we used to and I thought you might appreciate some ‘us’ time. You and me, on the road! You like to ride the train!”

How Alphonse Elric managed to make expressionless armor _express_ , was a secret he would teach his children and then his children would whisper it to their children and so forth down the Elric line for generations to come. If Ed ever managed to reproduce, which Alphonse was thinking would be less likely rather than more (and maybe that’s a good thing after all), these golden-haired, wild-eyed cousins of his descendants would never share in the secret, because there are just some things people like Ed never need to know.

Ed raised an eyebrow, “What?” he said.

“I would have thought in our long association as siblings,” Al began reasonably, “that somewhere down the line you would have figured out that I am immune to your bullshit,” his little brother said.

“BULLSHIT?!” Ed wailed, flapping his arms like a scarlet-winged crazy thing, “Who taught you that word?! Bullshit! I just said I wanted to spend time with you!”

“And I appreciate it, I do, I’m touched,” Al said, “but we both know that you could do that just as well back at the dorms as in the middle of nowhere. You know, it’s not like you are years older than me and have to hide things from me. Just tell me what happened between you and the Colonel,” Al said again, always the voice of reason and calm in the storm that was Edward Elric.

Ed’s shoulders slumped. He sighed and shook his head.

“I’m really bad at sex,” he admitted to his little brother.

***

This was…fun.

The great, invincible Colonel Roy Mustang was staring at him like he was a force to be reckoned with, and well, at the moment, he was. He was that fearsome thing, that man among men, so high had he climbed in a few short turns of the gears, that he towered over his mortal existence and smirked all-knowingly on the amassed populace below.

He owned Colonel Roy Mustang.

He took a drag of his cigarette, removed it and tapped it once, letting the ashes scatter on the edge of the Colonel’s desk, then tucked it back between his self satisfied lips.

“Well,” the Colonel said.

“Well,” Havoc returned.

“This is a delicate situation,” the Colonel said gravely, and must have thought about chancing a stare down but dismissed it, because his eyes dropped from growing fire to cooling embers.

“I’ll say,” Havoc said and shook his head, “a subordinate and a… a… minor, yeah a minor, that’s a whole lot of… um, bad things rolled into one.”

The Colonel worked his jaw, slowly raised his elbows to his desk and laced his fingers. It took another few moments to lower his chin to them, this was his normal bargaining pose.

“Is there any chance we can come to an agreement?” the Colonel asked, never breaking composure now that his color had returned, never giving the slightest hint that he was concerned that Havoc held his career in his somewhat tobacco stained hands, “I’ve always found you to be very reasonable, Second Lieutenant,” the Colonel offered in the way of a off-handed compliment.

“Oh I am, I am,” the Second Lieutenant said with a breezy wave of his hand, “And really, you don’t have to be so formal about it, I’m a very simple man myself, and I have very simple needs,” and he grinned a truly devilish grin at his ‘superior’ officer and gave a knowing tilt of his head.

“Ah,” the Colonel said, “the black book, you wish to see it?”

“No,” Havoc said, which finally, finally got a blink of surprise from the man, “I want to live it, and I want you to help me.”

***

Ed and Al found a shady spot under a tree near the pasture fence to have a little talk. Al, ever the practical one, decided to get straight to the point. Ed, while brilliant, was given to fits of being scatter brained because he had too many concerns on his mind at once. Unless the target was sighted and locked by his sibling’s internal radar, then it tended to fall by the wayside until something kicked it back into play.

“What makes you think,” Al started in his usual calm and cheerful demeanor, “that you are bad at sex?”

Ed flushed. How could Al just say it so casually? Even that word, ‘sex’, made Ed twist all up in knots, and the words ‘sex’ and ‘Colonel’ in same thought or sentence made those knots come unraveled and point straight to the sky. How could he be here, sitting on the ground under a shade tree in the middle of nowhere, talking about sex with his baby brother? Oh how the mighty have fallen. _They didn’t have too far to fall_ The Colonel’s voice said in his mind. The voice even smirked and damn that bastard for making a home there and leaving a phonograph armed with his smarmy wit set to play at a seconds notice!

“Well, I can’t seem to get it right,” Ed muttered grudgingly, “somehow I always screw it up,” he snorted and put his elbow on his knee and dropped his cheek glumly into his palm, “and I don’t think he’s getting any… anything out of it, it all seems to be me.”

  
Al hummed, his general thinking response. “I see,” he said. “So you don’t think you’re satisfying him. But still he always wants you to come over, he must be getting something out of it.”

Ed shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, I mean he likes to moon over me I guess, he always likes to stare at me after I cu… afterwards and he likes to cud… cuddle, but I don’t like that,” Ed insisted, then sighed again, “ok I do, but he never gets to finish as much as I do. I don’t know,” Ed sighed.

“All new things take practice,” Al said, “and I don’t see why this is any different. It’s another new skill, I think you are being too hard on yourself, and I don’t see it as a reason to run away.”

Ed looked sidelong at Al. “That’s not the reason I ran,” he said.

“Well what is it then?” Al said.

Ed took a very deep breath and in halting detail, told his brother of the events of the previous evening.

Alphonse Elric, Ed’s younger brother, Ed’s devoted sibling, Ed’s drive and motivation… the very reason that despite everything, he picked himself up every time he got knocked down and continued on, pointed at him, and laughed.

***

The Colonel opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Havoc cocked an eyebrow, so the Colonel tried again.

“Live... it?” he said.

“Yeah,” Havoc said, “I want you to set up the dates, you to make the introductions, you to break the ice and then I want you to make an excuse to disappear. Oh and salute me, first! You always salute me first.”

The Colonel opened his mouth again, but his eyes darted over Havoc’s shoulder and shut it. First Lieutenant Hawkeye came striding over to the desk, looked at Havoc and then the Colonel. She deposited a neat stack of documents before her superior officer and gave him a brief nod. It seemed pain suited her, for this brief nod was her approval of his posture and severe expression today, clearly the marking of a worthy officer.

“You know,” she said conversationally, “this ability of mine to kill a conversation by merely stepping into a room? That’s a natural talent, not something I had to learn. Please, carry on Second Lieutenant, Sir,” She gave Roy a quick salute, picked up the files in his out box, turned on her booted heel and strode from the office.

After they both shook the First Lieutenant willies, they were once again interrupted by the arrival of the others for another inspired afternoon of slack disguised as work, and the opportunity to hammer out details of the newly struck deal fled.

“Meet me after work at Harrod’s on the square,” Havoc said.

Roy’s jaw tightened. “I suppose I have no choice,” he said.

Havoc appeared to think about it for a moment, putting his hand to his chin and studying the ceiling tiles. He grinned and said, “Nope! None at all.”

 _Edward Elric is toast._ The Colonel allowed himself a brief fantasy of the boy, long red coat trailing flame, rushing screaming from the office. _Toast, with a capital, ‘Dead’._

***

Scotch, while a steadfast friend, had never been a problem solver. The Colonel sat at the bar waiting for his slave-master to make his appearance. Not only had he been _ordered_ into attendance _(something he found he positively loathed, but the quicker up the ladder, the quicker he’d never have to deal with it again)_ , but now he was being forced to wait. Wait on the pleasure of a man he’d teased mercilessly, stolen dates from, and barked orders at, and it was All. Ed’s. Fault.

No, it really was. If Ed had not left him there, bound to a headboard… If Ed had not ran to get the phone after Roy had repeatedly warned him not to… If Ed had not rushed off to Al’s side _(ok, ok, he wasn’t that heartless)_ , or at least released him first, then none of this would have happened, and to top it all off, Ed was denying him any kind of retribution by fleeing like a woman who Havoc had set his sights on _(heh, heh, heh)_.

Nothing but nothing had gone right from that first kiss, given on impulse in his very own kitchen. Damn him and his damn golden eyes, and damn those delicious noises he makes and damn, just damn, damn, damn. He wondered idly where Ed had fled to, he wondered idly when Ed would get the courage to come back, he wondered idly why he even missed the little bastard. He was screwed.

Havoc strolled in, took time to wave at a few fellow officers at tables scattered here and there and headed over to where the Colonel sat, looking like a caged bird all ready to sing. Havoc stopped a few feet from the Colonel, put his hands on his hips and looked at him expectantly. Roy looked back at the man, cocked an eyebrow and wondered what was wrong with the bar stool next to him. Was it wet? He looked at it, but it seemed fine, and it didn’t look like it was leaning or broken. He glanced back up at Havoc and Havoc cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on his hip.

 _He was fucking serious._

Roy forced his aching back upright, squared his jaw, and he saluted, a stiff jerk of an action that he ended as quickly as possible and narrowed his eyes.

Havoc grinned merrily, saluted back and hopped on the bar stool to the Colonel’s right. He tapped the bar, called out ‘Beer!’ and fished his smokes from his pocket.

“I want to know your terms,” Roy grated out, “and make it quick, my back is killing me, I need to get home.”

“The chief must be giving you a hell of a workout,” Havoc said, winked at Roy and stuck a cigarette in his mouth. He didn’t make the Colonel light it this time, opting instead for a pack of bar matches.

“That is none of your business,” Roy said curtly, “just tell me what you want and I’ll do what I can. What is this business of me being the middle man in your love life?”

“Ok, if you want to rush it, then here we go. What I want from you,” Havoc said, “is pretty much what I said in the office. Women, plain and simple. Roy Mustang will deliver to me on request, a woman of my selection from his infamous black book. He will describe in detail to me each woman’s traits, her likes, her dislikes, her wants, needs… you know all that crap females go for. He will then invite this woman to come out and ‘Oh by the way’,” Havoc leaned close to Roy and smirked, “’We are going to meet up with my very good friend, the very charming Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc. I think you’ll like him, we are just stopping to say hello and then we’ll be off.’”

“I see,” Roy said.

“And ‘Oh my, something has come up! Some military matter, it’s very important, I have to go. Can I leave you in the capable hands of the Second Lieutenant?’ and then you scoot ass, Colonel and go… boff Ed, whatever.” Havoc grinned, thinking himself extremely clever.

Roy’s jaw tightened up so much, it threatened to implode his face.

“Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, everyone knows you had this coming,” Havoc said, “and I think we both agree you had it coming from me more than most. So be a man, or whatever, and suck it up. Oh, and don’t forget to salute. Oh, and pay for my beer,” Havoc picked up the mug from the bar and stood. “You can go home now Colonel, and plan for tomorrow. I think I want to try out a brunette.” Havoc nodded, turned and walked off to another table where he was greeted by his fellow enlisted men.

***

Roy Mustang returned to his empty apartment, managed to get out of his coat and uniform jacket, and collapsed face first onto his sofa. His pride, or what was left of it, was whimpering like a wounded puppy somewhere in the very back corner of his mind and no matter how hard he coaxed, it refused to budge. Life just sucked, better than Edward Elric ever had. _You little bastard, where the hell are you? Your boyfriend could use a back rub, your boyfriend could use some sympathy, your boyfriend is in serious doubts he ever wants to have sex with you again!_ Ah god, how had he let things spiral so horribly out of his control? How could a boy that barely came up to his chin take his life plans and grind them under one automail heel? It just wasn’t right, it just wasn’t fair and he refused to believe it was a long-deserved comeuppance that had been waiting in ambush on the rooftops of his dignity, looking for just the right opportunity to strike.

He tried to get up once, but his back shrieked that it was writing a suicide note, so he waited until he could get it counseling and tried again. The second attempt was more successful and he stumbled over to his roll top desk, sat down, fished the key out of his pen cup, unlocked the top drawer and lifted from it a well worn, well loved, well protected little black book.

Might as well start with the A’s.

***

Even with Al’s longer stride, it was hard to keep up with Ed as he streamed down the road toward the inn.

“Brother, I’m sorry! Brother wait up, brother!” Al called out, “I’m sorry I laughed, but it was _funny_ , you have to at least give me that, don’t sulk like this, I still want to help, aw come on Ed, wait up!”

Ed stopped and turned on Al, face still red and lower lip in a familiar pout.

“I’m glad my love life amuses you,” he said, “it’s so nice to know my own brother thinks I suck,” then he really stuck his lip out, “even if I do, I would expect you of all people to be a little supportive!”

“I am,” Al placated, catching up to Ed and falling in step beside him when he started off again, “and I will be, we can fix this, he won’t be mad forever.”

“Says you,” Ed said, “you don’t know him like I do; he still remembers nasty things people did to him when he was a kid! He told me about them, there was this gleam in his eye as he said it, it just said to me ‘When I’m Fuhrer, I’ll show them!’, he’s scary like that you know, he gets all demented and freaky when he talks about being Fuhrer. You know, I don’t think I want him to be Fuhrer, I think he might start eating babies or something for breakfast.”

“Or be too busy to be with you,” Al said, “I think you are mistaking ambitious for freaky and demented. The Colonel certainly has that in spades.”

Ed straightened up and looked over at Al. He hadn’t thought about that, because he hadn’t thought that far into the future, really. Well, not in regards to himself and Roy. He thought about the future, but it was always a future where he could see his brother’s smile and feel the touch of his hand and maybe, if he was lucky, have a right hand he could touch someone with that wasn’t cool and hard. But he hadn’t thought about that, about Roy being Fuhrer and Roy being not in his life. He rubbed his face. When had he started thinking that Roy was always going to be there?

“What’s wrong?” said Al.

If Roy wasn’t always going to be there… then why was he here? If Roy wasn’t going to be there, then maybe he should go and take what he could get while he could get it. If Roy wasn’t going to be there, then he shouldn’t be wasting his time not being with Roy when he could, between missions and his endless search for that something real, that Philosopher’s Stone. If Roy wasn’t going to be there….

Ed stood up.

“I think we should go back,” he said, “I think I should go back and take what’s coming to me.”

Al stood too, fastidiously dusting at his metal rump.

“What changed your mind?” Al said.

“The bastard is way too ambitious,” Ed said, “I have to keep an eye on him.”

“You know he is an adult,” Al laughed, “and was taking care of himself before he ever met us.”

Ed shrugged. “I know,” he said, “but I don’t care. I promised him something and I can’t very well keep it way out here in the middle of nowhere.”

“I see,” Al said, “What did you promise him?” Al turned to follow Ed back up the road to the lean to that acted as the carriage stop.

“To protect him. I think that implies even from himself,” Ed replied.

“Yeah, don’t want him eating babies,” Al chuckled, “he’d get fat.”

***

The next day at work was slightly less stiff than the day previous. His back and a hot bath had talked it over and negotiated terms of his back’s surrender, which was a small comfort, at least.

Havoc looked damnably smug and was disgustingly cheerful all day, and that made the Colonel’s eye twitch. It got so bad that the First Lieutenant, Fuery _and_ Falman all advised him to get an eye exam, which did nothing to help his mood. At lunch, when the office cleared, Havoc lingered behind and came over to tap his desk expectantly.

“Abigail,” Roy said, “brunette, 24, secretary for a prestigious uptown law firm. Born and raised in Halsack, has a great fondness for alfredo and white wine, likes to talk about politics and stock markets in exchange for you listening to witty stories about her nieces and nephews. She’s a very well balanced girl; I think you’ll like her.”

“What about the, uh, important stuff,” Havoc said.

Roy sighed. “34, 26, 28.” He said.

“Yes!” Havoc crowed and hopped up and down in place.

***

“It will only take a second, and I did promise to meet him, we have some information to swap,” Roy couldn’t believe he was saying these things. Roy couldn’t believe he was escorting this girl into a trap so cleverly laid by the black mailing bastard known as Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc. But he did as he was told, because not to would mean trouble, serious trouble, and he couldn’t have that.

The plan went flawlessly. He introduced Havoc at the bar, then he got them a table on the patio, then he remembered a phone call he forgot to make while he was still at the office, then he came and made his most humble apologies to his date, then he got the hell out of there because he wanted to go home. To see if Ed was there.

As the Colonel walked in the door of his apartment, the phone had just finished its last ring. He went over to it, waited, hoped, and sure enough, it began to ring again. He picked it up, gave a breathless: “Hello” and hoped _(because he knew even as he struggled, defeat was inevitable)_ that he would hear a certain hesitant young voice on the other end, but it was Havoc, and he did not sound pleased.

“She left,” Havoc said.

“What? Why? What did you say?” Roy asked.

“Nothing that would make her take off, I’m sure,” Havoc snorted, “but after about 10 minutes she said she remembered some ‘important engagement’ and took off.”

“Well I can hardly be blamed for that,” Roy said.

“So bring me another one,” the Second Lieutenant huffed.

“What, right now?” Roy asked incredulous.

“What? You mean you don’t think you can? Aren’t you THE Roy Mustang?” Havoc asked exasperated.

Roy clenched his fist and gritted out, “Fine! Wait right there.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Havoc said.

***

Twenty minutes later, Roy was once again putting on a show for his subordinate’s pleasure.

“This is Annette,” he said smoothly, “would you keep her company for a bit while I make an phone call I forgot to make before leaving the office?” Roy said politely to Havoc’s face.

“I would be delighted,” the man said politely back.

“Won’t be a minute,” Roy said to the young lady and excused himself.

He got a scotch at the bar, hid in the back and exited with his escape speech on cue.

He wondered if Ed had called while he been out.

***

Thirty five minutes after he’d been home, the phone rang again.

“She got a headache,” Havoc said flatly.

“My god man,” Roy breathed, “what is wrong with you?” Then Roy bit his lip because maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Havoc snarled into the phone.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Roy half shouted.

“The night’s still _young_ ,” Havoc growled, “like a certain alchemist we both know.”

“FINE!” Roy shouted, “Stay right there!”

***

Another forty five minutes saw Roy giving the performance of his lifetime. He made his bows, but this time he did not leave. Instead, he slunk around back, charmed his way into the back door and watched like, well, like _her_ , _(his First Lieutenant had a convenient namesake cliché)_ to see just where Havoc was going wrong, and just like clockwork, before a half an hour was up, Havoc was standing there forlornly waving goodbye.

Roy Mustang apologized to the deities above. It wasn’t him they had it out for. My god, no one’s luck could be _that bad_.

Roy intercepted Havoc before he made it to the phone.

“Please,” he said, “don’t you think three in one night is enough? I know a girl named Sophie, I think she’d date anything…” Roy bit his lip and rushed to continue, “Not that I meant that in a bad way!”

Havoc scowled, spun and stalked out of the café.

“Wait!” Roy called, trotting after him while heading down the side walk. He snagged the Second Lieutenant’s arm, pulling him into the alley between the café and a next door grocery, and stopped. “Just wait a minute,” Roy said.

Havoc pulled his arm free, took out his cigarettes and stuck one in his mouth.

“I don’t have my gloves on me,” Roy said.

Havoc shrugged, fished out the bar matches from the day before and lit his own cigarette.

“Ok look, just let me put this out on the table, ok? We’ve known each other a long time,” Roy sighed. “I don’t care what happens to me,” he started.

Havoc looked at him.

“But if I can’t make this work for you, then what? It would destroy Ed. It would take his certification and strip him of his chance to restore his brother. You know that’s the only thing he really wants, don’t you? You know that’s all that matters, so I’m not asking this for me, and I don’t mean to use Ed as some shield to save my own ass, I really don’t, but please, before you do anything rash, I… beg of you? Think about Ed and Al, they don’t have much, but each other and us, yeah? Please, just think about that.” Roy shut his mouth, waited and hoped.

“I am wounded,” Havoc said, “just cut to the quick.” He shook his head, and Roy blinked. “Do you honestly think,” Havoc said, “that I’d do that to you? I thought we were, well, friends. I thought you at least knew me better than that. Damn Colonel, what do you think I am?”

Roy was taken aback, not so much by the words, but by the look in Havoc’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, I just thought with all of this… I mean you were pretty demanding, pretty sure of what you wanted and I know that in the past…” he would have continued but Havoc held up his hand.

“Does it really suck that much to think I would want to be, well, you? Even for one night,” then Havoc took a drag, let it out and half laughed, “to know what it was like to be the Ladies Magnet? Ah, that would be sweet, but I think we both just got a good dose of reality there, and whatever the opposite of magnet is, well that’s what I am. Stop looking at me like that, I guess it will just come in time.”

“I’m sorry,” Roy said, and he meant it. “I’m sorry to misjudge you like that, and I’m ashamed I thought it.”

“It’s ok,” Havoc said, “so uh, you really care about the chief, don’t you?”

Roy gave a helpless little nod and closed his eyes.

“Huh, who would have thought,” Havoc said.

“No lectures on my morals?” Roy asked, opening his eyes again.

“Who am I to judge?” Havoc said, “Hey, with you out of the field, maybe there will be more chances for me to play,” and he shrugged and grinned his easy, familiar grin.

Roy gave him a half smile. “You’re better to me than I deserve, I won’t forget it,” he promised.

“See that you don’t come pay raise time,” Havoc said, “Ok, I’m calling it a night. See you at the office tomorrow, Colonel.” The lanky blonde turned to head back up the sidewalk.

“Havoc,” the Colonel said behind him and he turned to look.

The Colonel saluted.

“Yeah, yeah,” Havoc said, “the kid is making you mushy.” But he saluted back and went on his way.

 _God doesn’t hate me at all_.

***

 _Take your lumps. Get what’s coming to you. Take it like a man. Do I know any more metaphors? Oh yeah, what goes around comes around._

Edward Elric shuddered visibly and looked at his younger brother.

“Ok,” Ed said, “here I go.” He looked at the door to their dorm room.

“Take care,” Al said, “I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Right.”

“Be safe.”

“Right.”

“You going?”

“Yeah, in a minute.”

“Ok, have fun. Oh sorry, uh, break a leg,” Al said.

“Don’t say that!” Ed squeaked.

“You going?” Al sat down at the table.

“Push me out the door,” Ed said.

***

When Roy Mustang opened his front door, he got a nose full of flowers. Literally. The petal of a white daisy shot straight up his nose like a scented saber blade and lodged there. He snorted and sputtered and took a step back, wiping at his nose and meet a pair of wide gold eyes peeking over the bouquet.

“I know you probably think flowers are stupid,” the boy said in a rush, “but if I keep giving you chocolate then you’ll get fat, train station souvenirs are tacky and nobody will sell me scotch!” he cried.

Roy snatched the flowers, reached out and bunched his hand in the bright red fabric at the boy’s shoulder and yanked him inside, kicking the door shut. The foyer watercolor crashed to the floor again, but neither noticed it.

The black-eyed maniac stalked him silently across the living room as he backpedaled and pleaded for his life, or his love life, or both, he wasn’t sure.

“I’m really sorry I took off,” Ed cried, “but you were so mad and I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know what to say and I felt so _horrible_ , but probably not as bad as you felt, huh? It just seemed like the thing to do and I realize now that it was really stupid and something a _kid_ would do, and there I admitted it! But when I did realized, I came back! Come on, that has got to count for something! If you want, I will walk around the house in your shirt without my boxers and won’t complain about having to do the mouth thing if you’ll just forgive me! I’ll try to get better, because I know I’m not any good and please don’t be mad at me anymore because I really am sorry!” he panted and the back of his knees hit the couch and he sat hard, staring up at Roy with eyes so wide that Roy thought it must hurt to hold them like that.

It was all Roy could do not to laugh.

“You are a very bad boy Edward Elric,” Roy Mustang growled in an attempt to cover his mirth, “and you deserved to be punished.”

“I know,” the blonde said miserably, sincerely, and it almost defeated Roy then and there, but instead he reached down, yanked the boy to his feet, sat down in his place and threw the boy across his lap face down. Ed yelped and gasped. Roy lifted the red coat and threw it forward over Ed’s head, gave that lovely little leather covered ass a raking with his eyes and then he slapped it.

Ed howled like he was being murdered.

“If you ever,” Roy said and slapped, “run out on me like that again,” and Roy slapped, “I will not rest,” a slap, “until I hunt you down,” and a slap.

“I won’t, I won’t!” Ed shrieked, kicking his legs.

“And if you ever,” a slap, “tie me up again,” a slap, “you are never,” a slap, “allowed to use alchemy,” a slap.

“No, no!” Ed sobbed.

“Do you think,” a slap, “you have learned,” a slap, “your lesson?” a slap.

“Yes,” Ed moaned, “yes!” and he thrashed.

“Well then,” Roy rolled the boy off and onto the couch face up, taking in his flushed looks. “Make sure you remember this.”

Ed licked his lips and nodded, still wide eyed.

Roy’s eyes trailed down to a bulge in the front of Ed’s leather pants, and his grin was suddenly large and evil as he looked back up into his eyes.

“I think,” Roy Mustang cackled, “we just found your _true_ kink.”

Ed slapped his hands over his face.

 **Omake:**   
**_The Adventures of Teenage Roy Mustang: Horse on Fire_ **

No matter where he hid, she always found him.

“You know, if the garden isn’t weeded by the time dad gets back, he’s going to kick your ass,” Anna said.

“Shut up and leave me alone,” Roy returned, trying to press back further into the attic crawl space, flashlight still up and on the page of his book.

“Fine, it’s your funeral Flamey, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” his mortal enemy crooned from her perch on the top of the attic steps.

“What has that got to do with alchemy anyway?” Roy sneered, “It just means Harry…”

“Lieutenant Colonel Wagoner,” Anna snapped.

“The Lieutenant Colonel,” Roy gritted out, “doesn’t want weeds in his peppers.”

“You give, you get. You know that alchemy thing…equivalence,” Anna started.

“Yes I KNOW, I don’t need you to tell me, now get lost, I’m reading,” Roy said.

“Can I ask you a couple of questions, oh Mr. Alchemist?” Anna said.

“Will you go away if I answer them?” Roy asked.

“Sure,” she said.

“Ok then, ask,” he said.

Anna looked at him a long moment then she said: “Are fish animals?”

Roy blinked at her. The obvious answer was ‘yes’, but knowing the way her devious, insidious, oblique mind worked, she had to have some sort of trap laid. But then again, she would know _(by now)_ that he would sense a trap and he was tempted to answer ‘no’, but then again, she might sense he would sense a trap of a trap and so the answer would shift back to ‘yes’, but then again…

Roy’s mind swam, with his own cleverness tripping over itself, and in his confusion, he said, “No.”

Anna nodded once, sagely, and then she said: “So are birds animals?”

Again Roy plunged into the adolescent turmoil of being bested by a _girl_ , but his mind gave up the struggle and whimpered, so he said “No.” again, knowing it was not right, but hoping, fearing, praying, that somehow, by his sheer wit, no matter how addled, he had played her game correctly and was right.

Anna cocked an eyebrow and slowly, she began to smirk.

 _Oh god._

“You are such a moron!” she cackled, evil and shining in her triumph, “If they aren’t animals what are they? Minerals? Some alchemist you are!”

“Shut up!” Roy yelled, “Go away you demon spawn and leave me to read in peace,” he howled.

“Ha, ha, ha,” she chortled and pointed at him, “Loser.”

Roy couldn’t think of a good come back _(damn her and her razor wit)_ , so he did the only thing he could think to do and stuck out his tongue.

Anna pushed her glasses up her nose and started down the steps.

“When dad gets home, I’m gonna tell him where you’re hiding,” she called up as she sank from view.

His life sucked, Roy decided.


	11. Chapter 11

Roy dragged his lips over a pink cheek. It was warm, firm and it clenched a bit, but it wasn’t anywhere near Edward Elric’s face.

Ed was lying over a pillow Roy had shoved under his hips before the paddling commenced. As Roy touched him, Ed moaned softly and he humped against it sporadically. It was all Roy Mustang could do to not beg the boy to let him _mount_. This bed was rapture, Roy’s own utopia and his lover. It was the most empyrean of sensuality that held him humble before all things known to man.

 _If only he’d let me._

It was bliss beyond torture to think it. He really shouldn’t think about it, because he knew how Ed would react. Even if the boy agreed, Roy would see it in his eyes, and he couldn’t do that to him, not now, not when he was so perfect and here in this bed.

Instead, Roy drew back his hand and gave a rather healthy smack to Ed’s upturned backside. The blonde gave a strangled wail, loved the pillow well with his hips, sobbed Roy’s name at the end and shivered.

Roy had made Ed cum by simply spanking him, and to Roy, there was no higher compliment God nor man could bestow upon him. Roy pressed his hand between Ed and the pillow and slid it slowly down the shuddering teenager’s belly. He was wet, the pillow was wet and Roy’s hand encountered Ed’s resurrected erection. Ed sobbed and lifted his hips to allow his touch and Roy lightly closed his fingers around it. Fortunately for him, Roy was ever resourceful and had thought to bring the oil with them again when he’d carried his captive back to the bedroom. Ed had been all guilt-ridden and eager to please, and it was as touching as it was almost heartbreaking. Roy had taken his time undressing Ed, reassuring Ed, kissing Ed. He even spoke those three little words against the boy’s throat to show him that in the adult world, being a fuck-up didn’t equate to being unlovable. The boy had swallowed and half sobbed his name and that was enough, they both understood.

Now Roy was one handed. The fingers around Ed’s erection massaged him lovingly and slowly, the pad of Roy’s thumb traveled as far up and down the top of the boy’s erection as it could. Ed sniffled, his own fingers digging into the bed sheet beneath him as he humped against Roy’s hand, driving it into the pillow. Roy smiled and managed to stretch to get the bottle of oil and put it between his thighs. As he worked the top off, the side of his wrist brushed against his own turgid cock and he sighed.

 _I know you’ve been patient. I promise I’m going to get you some action soon, just hang in there, patience is a virtue_.

But the voice that usually spoke to him when he addressed his anatomy remained sullenly silent, miffed and disbelieving… not that Roy blamed it. As appealing as Ed was, sexually cogent he was not. It’s not that Roy believed the boy didn’t want to be, in fact, Ed had almost begged as Roy bared him this evening to let him lead off, to let _him_ be the one to touch and taste and lick and pull, but Roy’s own needs to touch and taste and lick and pull were greater than Ed’s half tearful pleas, so he simply turned a deaf ear and moved to suit his need to satisfy his young lover into bliss.

“I should be doing this,” Ed’s voice broke his reverie, “I should be doing this to you,” the boy shuddered out on a moan.

“You will,” Roy said softly, dipping his fingers into the neck of the bottle, coating them with cooking oil. Roy leaned over and kissed Ed’s tender pink backside again and the boy’s whole body tightened and he groaned. “just let me touch you a little alright, I want to, I always want to.”

“Ok,” Ed said wobbly, he didn’t need much convincing.

Roy began to move the hand under Ed's belly, around Ed's cock, up and down, but still in an indolent motion with fingers loose and light. Ed whimpered and humped harder, grinding himself against the hand, seeking a firmer touch. While he was preoccupied with that, Roy introduced the first finger. Ed immediately relaxed to it, accepting it with _grace_ , taking it very easily and Roy felt heady and almost giddy. Ed then half laughed as his back side was lavished with several small rapid kisses, but the laughing dropped back to a husky half groan as the finger moved inside him.

The second finger joined soon after, accepted with just as much relaxed grace as the first and Ed began to curl up, looking for all the world with his automail limbs, like one of those roly poly bugs Roy used to scavenge for under logs in his youth. It made Roy grin and he worked Ed in both gentle strokes and gentle circles, laying kisses on Ed’s butt and lower back, then moving up his spine. Roy stretched his body up, nosed under blonde hair and curled his body around Ed, never quickening his pace, making an erotic cradle of his own body. He just let the boy drift and _feel_ , even as his own cock rubbed itself lovingly on Ed’s lower back. It was a bit frustrating, but it was still good.

“You… you can do it,” Ed panted out. Roy nosed his ear and ‘hmmm’d’ in response, “you can do that… if you want,” the boy breathed and grimaced and tightened on Roy’s fingers, “I promise…” and then he had to stop to pant and sob before continuing, “not to try and get away this time,” he managed to get out before falling to nectarous moans that made Roy start to pant.

Roy’s cock decided it was time to speak up.

 _Really? REALLY?! He’s going to let us do it? REALLY?!_

Its excitement was a palatable thing, and Roy dizzily thought that this was the shining moment of his life. He even decided to give Ed a generous third finger work out beforehand, but then a blur of motion caught his attention and alighted on his right shoulder. Roy turned his face toward it and pulled his mouth into a frown. Obviously the prospect of actual sex with Ed was so gratifying, it made him delusional. A tiny figure stood, dressed in a uniform the style the Fuhrer would wear. Hovering above a dark-crowned head was a halo of pure gold and tiny white wings flapped once for balanced then folded neatly and tidily behind the being’s back. It had a tiny rounded face, cheerful rosy cheeks and slanted dark eyes that shone serenely from its visage. The damn thing looked disturbingly familiar.

“You know,” it said in tones that reminded Roy of kitten purrs and chiming bells, “that is his guilt talking.” it said.

Roy gaped for a moment, unable to think clearly, so his cock did it for him.

 _NO,_ it howled, sounding like the gates of hell flung wide, _He said we could! Don’t listen to that thing!_ it shrieked.

Roy let his jaw hang open. Ed moved and sobbed beneath him, affected by Roy’s distraction, and Roy momentarily shifted his attention back to him and the pace and pressure which he was giving the boy. When he had soothed Ed, (as much as one could be soothed in suspended nirvana) he looked up again to find that something else had alighted on his shoulder. It jockeyed for position with the little white-winged thing, grumbling how the other shoulder was buried in a pillow, and that the white-winged thing was just going to have to _share_.

It too wore a Fuhrer’s uniform, it too had black hair and a small rounded face, but it’s eyes were… slantier, and jutting from it’s head were tiny red horns, and swinging behind it’s back was a tiny red tail and it’s wings, for it had them too, resembled a bat, only a baby one, because they were tiny. It was even more disturbingly familiar than the first winged thing to land on his shoulder.

This particular dementia spoke, too.

“I’m with the cock,” it said, “he just told you that you could. That’s _permission_ , and you know you’d make it good because hey, you’re YOU, and we all know how great that is.” It said and winked at Roy.

White Wings looked aghast. “He loves you, you know he does. He trusts you to do what is right for him. You would be taking advantage of that trust if you prayed on his tender feelings now when you know he does it out of guilt.”

Roy bit his lip.

“Ah, screw that! No, I mean screw him,” Red Horns said, “look he’s practically begging for it right now, go on, look,” Red Horns pointed and Roy tracked his eyes down to the lithe blonde who was shuddering in his grip and moaning piteously, drenched in sweat and flushed in rose and helpless to the hands of the man cradled around him. It was a sight that would make the hardest among men weep, and Roy was very hard indeed.

Roy moaned and started to bring his knee up.

“You bring him such peace,” White Wings sang out, “and such comfort. He looks to you to ease his pain when things are wrong, your hands play over his body like a lulling symphony to his wounded nerves and when you bring him climax, and he sleeps in your arms, he knows just a little bit of heaven,” it said.

Roy groaned and lowered his knee.

“He left you freaking alchemized to a headboard all night with a boner hard enough to drill through steel,” Red Horns cried, shaking a tiny fist, “what kind of man are you to take that from a punk kid? I mean come on, it’s time he put out isn’t it? He’s a prodigy, he’s learned enough! Go on, show him how the Mustang mounts his mare, give him something to really brag about at home,” and Red Horns snorted smoke.

Roy worked that over for a moment, then raised his knee again.

“You will always know that if you do this, you did it not out of love, but out of mere lust and your need for a revenge you shouldn’t want. He is your lover, not your enemy, and he returned to you in good faith to make amends, showing he has grown up a bit after all,” White Wings sighed and waved its hand to clear the smoke Red Horns had just snorted.

Roy lowered his knee again and Ed cried out in frustration because all the inner turmoil was making Roy’s rhythm erratic.

“It’s ok,” Roy soothed, “I know, I know,” and he squeezed his eyes shut and just thought about _Ed_ for a few moments, raising the boy back up quickly to fluttering quick pants and tiny pleading whimpers.

“A compromise,” Roy gasped out.

“uuuh?” Ed gasped.

“Not you darling,” Roy said dropping kisses on a damp blonde head and sweat slicked shoulder.

Both of the winged things on his shoulder politely gave them their attention.

“If he can take three fingers,” Roy choked out, “it’s a go,” he whispered.

The two winged things huddled briefly, their backs to Roy. White Wings looked over his shoulder once at him and sadly shook his head, but then went straight back to the huddle. In the meantime, Ed tightened down on his fingers again and pushed back against him. This looked very promising.

The huddle broke and his shoulder attendants looked up at him.

“Very well,” White Wings said graciously, “I suppose this is a fair compromise, because we’ve done some calculations and figured you have about as much girth as three fingers before the knuckle joint.”

Roy wasn’t sure if that was meant as a compliment.

“Just let him have it, bone him, you know he’s gonna be able to take it right off the bat, look, he’s pushing back on you now,” Red Horns chortled and grinned.

“We made a deal,” White Wings warned, chiming voice threatening to clank.

“Right,” Roy spat out, “a deal.”

“Colonellllll…” Ed moaned.

Roy tilted his head back and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, with supreme effort, he slowly removed his fingers from the boy. Ed attempted to thrash in his balled up position, he half lifted his head from the bed and sobbed brokenly.

“Nonono,” the boy begged, “Colonel nonono,” was all he could get out.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” Roy assured him, “going to add some more oil, they’re coming right back,” Roy husked out, “I promise, it’s ok,” He almost did slide them back in, just the two, because he couldn’t stand to disappoint Ed, but no, he made a deal. He began to uncradle Ed and stretch for the oil, but that earned another round of pitiful begging from his beautiful lips, so he attempted to sooth the agitated teen with his voice.

He was sloppy now and sloshed oil all over his own thigh, but that didn’t matter. He managed to put the bottle back and roll three fingers in the pool on his thigh that was now trickling off down the side of his leg to the sheets below. He’d just leave Mrs. Cates a note saying he needed new linens in the morning. He quickly wrapped around Ed again, calming some of the boys hoarse pleas and reached down to stroke at Ed’s anus gently. Ed groaned and wiggled back to the touch, letting his head fall to the bed again. Ed so wanted it and Roy shook with indecision, feeling raw and edgy himself. No, a deal is a deal. He pressed to the tight ring and began to ease his fingers back inside. This time, Ed tensed initially because there was more stretch and Roy knew there was a bit of burn with the increased girth. Roy leaned over to watch Ed’s profile carefully as he again began to press forward. Ed’s brows angled down in a hard ‘v’ and his mouth and body tightened. He took several deep breaths and a look like determination and maybe a little like resignation played over him and then he _forced_ himself to relax.

Roy’s own brow furrowed. He lowered his forehead to Ed’s temple and sighed, pulling his hand back, coaxing with one finger and then with two, and increasing the pace and pressure on Ed’s cock.

He wasn’t ready. He just wasn’t ready, and Roy was not going to add anything to the Edward Elric list of painful firsts.

Ed was primed for climax, so it only took a few strokes and Roy grimaced at the pressure on his fingers that could have been on his cock. The White Wings appeared in his peripheral vision and bumped against his cheek, in what Roy guessed was a kiss, and disappeared, leaving a scent of sunshine and flowers in his wake.

Red Horns shook his head sadly and gave Roy a look that said ‘wuss’ and ‘loser’ all at once.

Roy scowled at him, and hugged the panting Ed tight. Ed licked his lips and struggled to speak.

“Why… did you stop? I thought…” the boy gasped out.

“No Ed, no,” Roy murmured dropping lips to the boys cheek, “I always want you to know pleasure here in this bed. You’ll let me know when you’re ready,” he told the shuddering teen.

“But I wanted to,” the boy said, eyes still closed, sweat drench bangs clinging to his cheeks and forehead, “I want you to feel good too,” he said, then worked his throat.

“This feels good,” Roy said, “this right here, holding you. I have no complaints,” he kissed Ed’s cheek and temple and eyebrow.

Red Horns had turned to go, but he whipped back around, made a snap and a pitchfork appeared in his outstretched hand. He poked the Colonel soundly in the shoulder with it.

“But,” Roy continued, “if you’re still feeling this way after you’ve recovered, I’d really like that mouth thing,” he said to the boy.

“Ok,” Ed agreed and let out a mighty yawn.

 _I fucking hate you_ , Roy’s cock said.

The Colonel just held the sleeping boy and let out a sigh.

***

  
Roy’s legs were propped up on the tub edges to either side of Ed. His chest was warm against Ed’s back, as was the water they both sat in. The Colonel was reading a weekend digest, holding it out and away from the side of the tub, while Ed washed between his toes. The Colonel pulled the digest over Ed’s head, turned the page, then held it out again.

“You’re holding it out really far,” Ed noted, “You need glasses.”

“I can read it just fine,” Roy said, “I just don’t want it to get wet.”

“How is it going to get wet?” Ed said, “We aren’t splashing or anything, you’re just making excuses. You need glasses and you’re in denial.”

Ed lifted his automail leg, wiggled his automail toes, seemed satisfied and lowered it again. He shifted around, which earned some grunts from the Colonel, and then settled comfortably again.

“I just wanted to tell you, that, uh, that was… I mean, in the bed, um…” Ed said suddenly, “I mean, I think I should tell you when it was… great. That was great, um, thank you.”

Roy chuckled. “You’re quite welcome.”

***

From the tub, Ed watched the Colonel towel off. He started with his head, leaving behind a spiky black pin cushion, then his neck and chest and then each arm from the shoulder down. Then he dried his stomach and slung the towel around and dried his back all the way to his butt. He swung the towel back around, noticed Ed watching him, winked _(which made Ed blush)_ and toweled, uh, lower. He did it slowly _(that bastard)_ , because he knew Ed was watching him, then he moved onto his thighs and legs, and last but not least, he lifted each foot and gave them both a swipe.

“Why are you drying your feet, they get dry when you stand on the matt,” Ed said, helpfully pointing at the fuzzy bath matt on the Colonel’s tiled bathroom floor.

“The tops don’t,” Roy replied and tossed his towel up over the shower curtain stand that ringed the large claw foot tub.

The Colonel was a good looking man. He was a ‘v’ shape from shoulders to hips, and from there he was long, almost like he was all legs. Ed watched him turn to the mirror and lift his chin to inspect his jaw. Then he pulled over a mug, a can of shaving powder and a brush. He looked at Ed watching him again, winked _(cut it out already)_ and got a heavy looking razor from the vanity drawer, setting it down next to the mug.

Ah the razor, the great unknown. Ed finally stood up out of the tub, stepped dripping onto the matt and went to the vanity. The Colonel made a clucking sound and plopped a towel over his head and began to rub vigorously.

“HEY,” Ed said, “I can do it myself you know!” He tried to twist away, but the Colonel had a longer reach, and he laughed and continued to dry Ed’s hair.

The Colonel pulled the towel off of Ed’s head and snickered, earning him a good scowl as the ruffled teen looked in the mirror.

“What do you expect, you just tried to rub it all off of my scalp,” Ed snapped.

“You look like a surprised dandelion,” the Colonel said, highly amused with himself as turned his face away to snicker.

“You’re a bastard,” Ed snorted, but turned his attention back to the razor on the vanity and picked it up.

The Colonel had recovered by then and took it upon himself to give the rest of Ed a rub down. He didn’t seem to mind that Ed was handling his razor, so that was equivalent exchange. He let him give him a whole body grope, while Ed twisted the bottom of the razor back and forth, making its blade shield open and close.

Then the Colonel’s hand was stroking on his jaw and the pad of his thumb ran over the area of his upper lip, just under his nose. “Not yet Ed, but it should be soon,” and Ed cocked an eyebrow in response.

“Shaving,” the Colonel said and held out his hand for Ed lay the razor in, “I don’t think it will be long before you have to,” the Colonel checked his razor, poured some powder into the cup, splashed some water in from the sink and used the short bristly brush to make a lather.

Shaving? Ed hadn’t really thought about it. He looked at himself in the mirror and watched Roy’s reflection. Roy glanced up, caught him watching in the damn mirror and winked _(goddammit!)_ , but it didn’t keep Ed from watching an age old traditions that men everywhere practiced. The Colonel lathered up his jaw, chin, cheeks and under his nose with the white foam he’d made, then took the razor, seemed to pull down on his cheek with the fingers of his other hand, and in long strokes neatly slide the lather off. Ed watched the entire process, even the tiny little hitching strokes the bastard used under his nose.

Huh. It’s not like he hadn’t heard of it before, but he’d never really watched anyone _do_ it. He didn’t see why it was so special or why you should be judged by whether you have to do it or not, but he knew because _(that other bastard!)_ Hohenheim had a beard. Ed remembered that much. Roy got some tonic out of a bottle, rubbed it between his palms and slapped it on his face, grimacing for a moment. After that was passed, he looked at himself in the mirror and must have been satisfied, because he put the shaving stuff away.

The Colonel then ran his hands through his hair over and over, shook his head, did it again, shook his head, and then fingered just some of his bangs. He screwed his mouth up, moving it back and forth for a moment, then gave one last toss of his head and seemed satisfied. He looked good. He looked really good, and he smelled really good, and he looked relaxed and happy and even though he winked at Ed, this time it didn’t make him mad. Suddenly, Ed realized that not only had he told the Colonel he would to the mouth thing, he _wanted_ to do the mouth thing. He wanted to do it now.

Ed moved, sliding down the vanity counter to the Colonel’s side. He looked at him sidelong as he gargled and spit in the sink, then picked up his toothpaste and brush and went to put one on the other.

Ed slid his hand over the Colonel’s naked stomach and the man froze. Ed trailed his fingers slowly downward until they brushed up against coarse, dark hair at the junction of the Colonel’s thighs, and Ed looked at the Colonel’s face in concern because it seemed as if the bastard had stopped breathing. A tremble ran the length of the man’s frame, to right up under Ed’s fingertips, and that was very interesting to newly awaking feels of things Ed wanted to do to the Colonel. He removed his hand, and he watched him sag just a little bit, then he watched the Colonel’s eyes widen slightly in surprise when Ed gripped the wrist holding the toothbrush and give it a little squeeze. The Colonel however, slackened his grip obediently and let the toothbrush clatter to the sink. Without further prompting, he dropped the toothpaste too, giving Ed a look of hopeful expectancy.

Ed reached up and put a hand on his arm, prompting him to turn and face him, which he did. For a moment, Ed stood a little indecisively about what it was he _wanted_ to do. Oh he was going to do the mouth thing, that was a given, but when the Colonel touched him, he never just started with the good stuff. Not that everything the Colonel did wasn’t the good stuff, but there was a lot of little stuff that lead up to the big stuff and it was all good stuff, too. Ed gave his head a little shake and wrinkled his nose, the Colonel made a little noise that sounded kind of confused, but still holding on to hope, like a fat man holds onto the last donut before the diet.

Ed leaned forward, stuck out his tongue and touched it to the Colonel’s chest. More precisely, to the Colonel’s nipple and it jumped a bit under his tongue because the Colonel jumped a bit, but then it went still. The very tip was hard like a nub, so Ed pressed it with his tongue tip and the Colonel made a sound that said both _‘please oh god yes’_ and _‘this is some insane dream’_. Ed found he liked that very much. He wondered briefly at his ability to decipher these sounds for their true meanings, but why should he question his natural talents? After all, he was pretty good at everything he did, and this, even if it killed him in the end, was not going to be an exception.

He pressed with his tongue again and then moved forward, opened his mouth over it and sucked, nudging the tip back and forth with his tongue as he did so, his hands finding the bastard’s hips and settling there. The bastard was shaking a bit, which was nice. Then Ed decided the other nipple looked jealous, so he switched sides for a bit. The bastard made noise, and the bastard’s hand made it’s way to the back of Ed’s head, and the bastard’s hand got a little bossy, and Ed snorted and batted at it, so the bastard took it away.

  
Ed pulled back, surveyed his handy work and licked his lips. The bastard _groaned_ , and not just a normal groan either, one of those deep-bellied ones he sometimes did in bed when Ed was rubbing against him, and in the confusion of Ed getting what he wanted, accidentally brushed the bastard’s cock. Ed wanted to kiss him then, but didn’t want to go up on tiptoe or tug on the bastard’s shoulders to get him to bend down, because that remind him that… the bastard was abnormally tall. He frowned and the Colonel whimpered. _Oh, the Colonel must think I’m not happy with how this is working so far._ Ed didn’t want that, so he said: “You taste good,” but he didn’t really mean it, because, well, the man tasted sort of salty and all, and that wasn’t good. Well, it wasn’t bad either, but it wasn’t as good as say chocolate. Maybe he should have said _’you taste good, but not as good as chocolate’_ , but that wasn’t exactly nice, was it? This sex stuff sure had a lot of variables.

But those three words seemed to do the trick because the Colonel licked his lips and heaved his chest once _(and that was REALLY nice)_ and leaned slightly toward Ed, looking all hopeful. Ed smiled at him and let his hands run up the Colonel’s side. He decided to kiss Ed all on his own, which of course cleared up the dilemma Ed had earlier, and the Colonel stuck his tongue in his mouth. Ed liked that, even though initially he thought it was a little gross. So they did that for a moment or two and Ed continued to run his hands up and down the Colonel’s sides. But, then the Colonel ended the kiss, _(and he hadn’t even put his hands all over Ed, and that made him a little miffed until he remembered that he was the one wanting to do and not the one wanting the done. No, that didn’t sound right, wanting to be done, yeah that sounded better. So it was good the Colonel didn’t paw him, at least, not yet)_ and he pulled back and looked at him with his dark eyes. They had this look that was soft, which made Ed a little uncomfortable and drop his own eyes. The Colonel chuckled at him lightly for that, so Ed pinched him on the hip.

“Hey,” the Colonel said, “that wasn’t very nice.”

“You shuddup,” Ed growled, and the Colonel did, much to his amazement.

Something warm was touching Ed right over his navel, so he looked down and he saw that it was the Colonel. Well, it was part of the Colonel, that same part that liked Ed to touch it. It seemed to be rubbing him, as if to convey how much it liked him, and that made Ed smile because he liked to be liked, even though he told everyone he didn’t fucking care. It was even nicer to be liked by the Colonel, because, well, because… your boyfriend is supposed to like you. It made Ed feel funny and a little hot, so he kissed the Colonel’s chest to distract himself, which earned him another one of those sounds. So, Ed kissed him some more to hear more sounds, and decided to make it a game, kissing lower to see if the Colonel would make a different sound, which he did. So Ed kissed him lower again, having to sink down a bit and the Colonel made a deeper sound. Ed liked those best because they were… ok, sexy. He was allowed to think his boyfriend was sexy, in fact it’s a good thing he did, otherwise all the bed stuff would just be damn awkward.

He kept kissing lower and sinking lower and soon he encountered that part of the Colonel that had been rubbing on him, so he kissed it too, sinking down to his knees on the bath matt and the Colonel made a strangled noise as one hand slammed on the vanity counter, making it groan. Ed heard the rustle of fabric and figured the Colonel’s other hand had grabbed the big curtain that hung on a stand around the bathtub for when you wanted to take a shower. Ed pressed the Colonel’s _(he hated blushing)_ cock with his nose, played the bounce game he generally did with his fingers, and laughed a little when it bounced back and slapped his nose, because that was funny. The Colonel didn’t seem to think so; in fact, from the sounds he was making, you’d think the Colonel thought it was painful.

Sitting there on his knees, with the Colonel’s cock resting against his nose, Ed supposed he had never really taken time to investigate him, because after all, the man was more than just a walking carrying case for this part. He had other parts too, and so Ed raised a hand while keeping the cock balanced where it was on his nose, and touched his fingertips to the Colonel’s balls, because he’d never really touched them before, except by accident of passing, like with his chin when he was doing the mouth thing. The Colonel made a lot of noises then, and the stand around the bathtub that held the shower curtain made a squeaking noise, and the Colonel seemed to be shaking, like he was holding himself back from something, but Ed decided that didn’t bother him and that he was going to do what he wanted to do and the Colonel could just be sarcastic about it later, instead of yelling. When the Colonel yelled, Ed generally had to run and he’d had enough of that, thank you.

Ed flattened his hand a little and lifted it up under the Colonel’s balls, letting them settle mostly in his palm. They were very warm and sort of heavy for what they were, and soft, which was a little odd, but still nice. He stroked the pad of his thumb over the velvety surface and the Colonel spouted gibberish. Ed looked up at him, causing the cock to slip off his nose and hit his cheek. The Colonel was looking down at him with a face a bit red and eyes wider than Ed had ever seen them, which wasn’t much, because the Colonel had little eyes that were pointy at the ends, like a cat.

The Colonel said one word: “Please.”

Ed studied his face for a moment, puzzling over that one uttered word. _Please._ He said it a lot. In bed, that is, not anywhere it would actually be useful, like at the office. He could say _Ed, please take this mission_ or _Ed, please have a report on my desk by the week’s end_. He never used the word like it was meant to be used, but that shouldn’t bother Ed. The Colonel never did things in exactly the way they were meant to be done and yet he was somehow always able to make you think his way was better in the end anyway, even if you thought it was bullshit in the beginning. He was good like that.

He was good, wasn’t he? He wasn’t just good at his job or in his bed, he was just _good_. He was just a good man. Ed pressed up on his balls with his automail hand, turned his head and opened his mouth, using his flesh fingers to guide Roy’s cock into it. He then clasped those same fingers around the base of Roy’s cock to hold it steady, sucked the head once, then sat up a little more on his knees and pressed forward.

The man was good and Ed wanted to be good to him.

***

 _I am going to die._

He put a shaking hand on top of a bobbing blonde head.

 _I mean it this time, I really do, I am going to die._

Cool fingers pressed and rolled his balls, a hot, wet mouth imprisoned him better than any steel cage and his fingers scratched helplessly through thick blonde hair as he struggled to simply breathe.

All thought left him momentarily and the location between his legs that was responsible for all his pleasure and half his thinking, told him in no uncertain terms, that Edward Elric was the best thing in the goddamn world and he better not ever forget it. Or let him get away, or let him get off his knees. Ever. It meant it, it even threatened him.

Ed was giving him a blow job, and not just a blow job, a _good_ blow job. Roy refused to believe it, he kept waiting for the proverbial axe to come tumbling down on his head, but then he had to gasp and grit his teeth and yank on the shower curtain and use more will than he had ever displayed in his life to keep from thrusting down the boy’s throat.

Ed was making slurping noises and it was rubbing every nerve Roy had raw. Then Ed sat up a bit more, dropping his hands away, leaving Roy’s balls sobbing and the base of his cock cool. He moved them up and around the outside of Roy’s thighs, where they grabbed his ass, causing him to sing out for all the world to hear, that Edward Elric was a GOD and everyone just better fucking believe it. The boy on his knees before him shivered all over at the sound, sucking harder and pulling him deeper and squeezing his ass tighter and Roy decided that he would build a chapel to the boy to bring it offerings of chocolate and dime store novels every day, and he would be the head priest, because no one, but _no one_ could worship the boy as much as he did right now.

Ed’s hands, both automail and flesh, were kneading on his ass and Ed’s mouth was trying to suck Roy’s cock right off his body. This had to be some sort of sexual deprivation-induced dementia on Roy’s part, because Edward Elric was horrible at sex. Ghastly, even. This was far from horrendous, about as far away as you could get if you backed yourself up into the corner of felicity and kicked at anyone who tried to get near.

Roy’s eyes actually hurt. He was sure he had stretched the lids beyond endurance when a curious automail hand that had been giving a fantastic kneading, pulled on his butt cheek and brushed the tip of a metallic digit against something there in the divide. Its interest hadn’t gone away, which felt weird and incredible, and Roy always wondered what it felt like. Then Ed’s teeth scraped along his cock, which was just about to come apart at the seams, and Roy yanked the shower curtain free, knocked the stand over, and inadvertently caused the automail hand to move, because it slapped on Roy’s fistful of blonde hair, which hurt, so he let go and came. There were no other words for it, he just flat out came. Then he was free as Ed gagged and wretched over the side of the tub. The shower curtain was dangling from his hand and the stand was crumpled and leaning over the scene of the boy reaching up to turn on the faucet and stick his face under it.

Ed had given him a blow job and it was good. It was the end of the world as Roy knew it.

***

Ed washed his mouth out hard. He had the water on full blast with his mouth open and he turned his head to just let it run in. He gagged some more, but then he was at least clean and the taste was gone, so he hung over the side of the tub and panted. He glanced at the Colonel, but the man hadn’t moved and was messy, so Ed fished around in the cold bath water and got the hand cloth he’d used earlier. He wrung it out and turned to clean the Colonel off. He liked that, taking care of Colonel, because the Colonel always took care of him, when he would let him anyway. It just seemed like a nice thing to do.

He put the cloth over the Colonel’s cock, closed his fingers and pulled it along the waning length. The Colonel screamed, which was startling and new, and hit the bathroom tiles on his knees, which much have been painful. Ed winced, but then the Colonel was looking at him, still holding the shower curtain. He didn’t seem to care that he was going to have bruised knees, and he grabbed Ed (still managing to keep a hold on the shower curtain) and he kissed him, and after that, Ed didn’t care anymore about the Colonel’s knees or the Colonel’s shower curtain.

***

Later, Ed was wearing one of the Colonel’s shirts, but it was unbuttoned all the way and he wasn’t wearing anything else. He was lying on his back on the bed and the Colonel was lying on his stomach beside him, wearing a big white bathrobe that felt like a towel. It was unbelted and open, and the Colonel wasn’t wearing anything else either, but he was lying on his stomach, so it was hard to tell. He was rubbing Ed on his chest and neck and stomach, but it wasn’t like when he rubbed wanting him to squirm, it was different. It was really nice and relaxing, and Ed rumbled a bit, wiggled and stretched. The Colonel sighed a soft kind of sigh, like he was looking at something he liked, and Ed realized that, well, he was, which made him feel fluttery in his stomach, and that was ok.

“I suppose I need to feed you soon,” the Colonel said in a soft husky sort of way that did make Ed squirm, just a little.

“You act like you never get hungry,” Ed said, and sniffed and turned his head to look at him.

“No one gets hungry like you,” the Colonel said smiling, his face all smushed up in the comforter. He looked tired and handsome.

“I can get my own,” Ed said, “You look sleepy.”

The Colonel’s smile seemed to deepen a bit and the hand rubbing Ed’s stomach suddenly moved up to Ed’s face. It cupped one of his cheeks and the thumb rubbed his bottom lip.

“This is when people say I love you,” the Colonel said. Ed blinked and tried to turn his face.

“No, look at me,” the Colonel said. It was still soft, not like a order, so Ed sucked on the inside of his cheek and looked at him.

“I love you,” the Colonel said, “and I got you some turkey for sandwiches in the ice box. I’m going to take a nap.”

Ed nodded, smiled and reached up to touch the hand on his face as it drew away.

“I’ll… I’ll make you some sandwiches too, so they’ll be ready when you get up,” Ed got out and sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed.

“Thank you,” the Colonel said faintly behind him.

Ed, like the coward he was, fled to the kitchen.

***

The Colonel walked into the big office, threw his arms wide and grinned.

“Haven’t you ever asked yourself if today is the day?” he addressed his startled troops, “If today is the day that his the rest of your days hinge on? Is today the day of resolution? Is today the day you realize your goal? It should be! Every day should have a goal, I think, and you should work to it with as much fervor as each day you work toward your ultimate goal.” The Colonel marched across the office, behind his desk, slapped a hand on the back of his hair, the other on his hip, and he struck a pose.

Fuery, naturally, clapped.

“Somebody’s in a good mood,” Havoc chuckled.

“It is a superior officer’s duty to inspire his troops,” Falman said archly, “and the Colonel is setting a fine example today.”

“Too bad he doesn’t follow his own bullshit, oh I’m sorry, ‘advice’,” Breda snorted in laughter.

“He makes the best speeches,” Fuery said dreamily.

The First Lieutenant came in at that time, strode right up to the big desk as the Colonel was seating himself and began to arrange the stacks of paper in front of him in order by priority.

“Good Morning, First Lieutenant,” the Colonel said cheerfully.

“Good Morning, Sir,” she replied, let a slight smile grace her lips to acknowledge she as well did enjoy his good moods, “You seem to be in top form today, which is good, because you’ll need it.”

“That’s what I like about you, First Lieutenant,” the Colonel beamed, “Always on the ball, never a dull moment with you,” and the Colonel folded his arms on his desk and leaned over the stacks, “so, what’s on the menu today?”

“Well sir,” the First Lieutenant said, seizing this sudden opportunity where the Colonel seemed willing to work, “there are several things, but there are a couple that I must draw your attention to immediately.”

The Colonel nodded, seemed intent.

“First off, there has been another incident involving a protest group,” the First Lieutenant put her finger on one of the piles, “they have been minor so far, but seem to be escalating. There has been some cause of alarm in Central, and we know there is a rather extremist faction of the same group located near East City. It is felt that this group might be moving to make more of an impression and it is thought they might target a more prominent official in the military to get their point across.”

“That is troubling,” the Colonel said, “I take it all the particulars are in your very accurate reports,” he said.

“They are, if you have questions I’m sure I can get you more information,” she said, “Secondly, we have a lead for Edward I thought you might like to know about,” her finger moved to rest on a second stack, “it’s come in from a field officer in Braden, it seemed promising.”

“That’s good news,” the Colonel said, shifting a bit, “Cabin fever doesn’t even begin to describe Edward’s mood. I’ll read this over first, to be ready when they come in.”

“Sir,” the First Lieutenant said, straightening up and fixing him with her gaze, “I spoke to Lieutenant Colonel Hughes earlier this morning and we both agree that you should perhaps start taking precautions, seeing as we think this group might be seeking a target.”

“I’m hardly the highest ranking officer on the base,” the Colonel said, then tapped his flame etched silver pen on his blotter, “but I’m working on that.”

“If you’ll pardon sir, and not to inflate your already precariously balanced ego,” the First Lieutenant went on, “You are more of a celebrity, and much more of a prominent and accessible figure, since you live off base and are known to date and frequent public eateries and theatres quite often.”

“I’ll just make sure I have my gloves on me at all times,” the Colonel said, “Hughes is a worrywart, he has his whole family gig and that’s what’s done it to him, but what’s your excuse First Lieutenant, me and my ego are dying to know,” he teased.

She never changed expression at all.

“It is my duty to worry for the safety of my superior office, whether he be a Colonel or otherwise,” the First Lieutenant said, “You see, my superior officer has ambitions that I believe in and I’d rather see him alive to reach his goals. I’ll also speak with Alphonse, besides this Scar business, it might be prudent to keep an eye on Edward as well.”

The Colonel let the smirk fade a bit. “One day, First Lieutenant, you’ll really have to tell me where you slipped up.”

“Sir?” Hawkeye said in confusion.

“Where you slipped up,” the Colonel repeated, “and got stuck here with all of us. Because really, I think you deserve so much more than this babysitting job they’ve foisted off on you.”

Unbidden, the First Lieutenant smiled just a bit more than her usual slight sign of pleasure and the big table across the room cheered.

***  
Ed and Al got stuck in the doorway both trying to come in at the same time. Ed was laughing and breathless, and Al rumbled good-naturedly, giving his brother a playful shove that sent the short blonde sprawling, but with no harm done. Because boys were boys and these were brothers, Ed jumped back up, made all kinds of mock threats and then subsided.

“Hi Ed, Al,” Fuery called from the big table. This caused Al to come over, unhinge his chest plate, reach in and pull out a bag. “I’ve finished these,” Al said, “are there any more in the Duke Chantal series?”

Fuery took the bag, dropped it and kicked it under the table with his foot.

“We’ll talk about that later,” he said, eyeing his table mates warily, “maybe in the break room.”

“Ok,” Al said, unphased, “I really hope there are,” the boy said gravely, “because Clarrissa is all wrong for him.”

Havoc almost inhaled his toothpick when he laughed.

***

Ed shook his head, snorted and stomped over to the big table.

“I’d be mad at Fuery, but it’s hard to be mad at him,” Ed groused.

“Good Morning, FullMetal,” the Colonel said, “have a seat, we’ve things to discuss.”

Ed flopped gracelessly in one of the two chairs that sat before the Colonel’s desk. He started to raise his foot, but felt the First Lieutenant’s gaze on him even though she wasn’t in the room and let it drop back to the floor.

“What you got?” the boy said.

“I have a claim of someone who fell from a cliff and was thought to be dead coming back home and talking about being surrounded by a red glow that saved his life,” the Colonel said, and pushed the report across his desk.

Ed sat up and grabbed it, flipping through the sheets quickly, eyes darting back and forth, looking like small hyper gold fish in a bowl.

“I see,” Ed said, “So it says he awoke in a place that was glowing red as if from red jewels scattered all around,” Ed jumped to his feet, “Braden is only two days from here, I’ve been there before.”

The Colonel watched all the hope Ed kept so carefully hidden, leave its hiding place and fly into the boy’s face. Ed turned.

“Al, we got a lead,” he said and waved the sheaf of papers at the armor.

“Great!” Al said and hurried over to see.

 _And after yesterday was so…_ The Colonel sighed.

 _Oh well, it’s not like I won’t see him in a couple of days._

Ed turned back to the Colonel and grinned.

“Thanks Colonel,” he said.

“Yeah thanks, Sir!” Al echoed.

“My pleasure,” the Colonel said, “I guess you’ll be leaving as soon as possible, then,” he asked.

“Next train out, we’re gonna run by the dorm room and get some things right now,” Ed said, passing the report to Al for his reading curiosity.

“Then good luck, FullMetal,” the Colonel said, sitting back and letting his voice raise, “as I was telling the boys here before you came in, today is a day of goals to be both met and set, if you apply yourself to it, nothing is beyond your reach.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Ed said, because he could get away with it, and always had before, “we’ll report in whatever we find.”

“You do that,” the Colonel said, “and why don’t you impress me with your superior intellect and make it fast.”

Ed looked at him then and smiled.

The Colonel smiled back.

“I’ll be back before you’ve had a chance to miss me,” Ed said, wrinkling his nose, putting on his shit eating grin.

The Colonel lowered his chin to his laced fingers, having propped his elbows up on the desk.

 _I doubt that._

“How I relish the chance of actually missing you, FullMetal,” the Colonel said easily, “I’d really like to know what having a pain-free ass feels like.”

Al snorted in the way that he always did when he tried not to laugh and there were attempts to smother laughs at the big table as well. Ed turned red, then purple, then pointed and shrieked but nothing intelligible came out. Then he fled with Alphonse hurrying after him.

The Colonel thought it was a relief to have the boy out of town as he pulled his second priority stack over. With all this going on, he could concentrate better and deal with this before Edward ever had to worry about it.

 _I miss you already,_ the Colonel thought and flipped open the file.


	12. Chapter 12

Alphonse took a step in time with every swing of Ed’s braid. It was a precise measurement of time that was just enough to lift a foot and move it forward but not to long that you had to stagger your next step.

 _Tick Tock._

“I don’t know Al,” his elder brother said in front of him, “the way he described it, there’s got to be more to it, something they aren’t telling us.”

“I know what you mean,” Al replied behind him, “I got that feeling too, maybe we should stay one more day.”

Another few steps timed to the swing of a length of blonde hair.

 _Tick Tock._

“I guess it couldn’t hurt really, I wish we’d had thought of it before we got all the way out here,” Ed said, looking at the train station sitting just ahead of them.

“It looks like train might be about to leave anyway,” Al said, “they are moving the ramp and closing up the boxcars.”

The timing didn’t work so well when Ed jogged up the steps at the end of the platform.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Well since we’re staying, no need to rush to get on, but while we’re here, I’ll go ahead and call in, let him know we decided to poke around a little more,” Ed said.

“Good idea,” Al said, following his brother into the depot house. “That way it won’t be a totally wasted trip.”

The depot house was not spectacular in the way of depot houses. It had benches and a long counter and racks with brochures. In one corner sat some boxes that for some reason didn’t make it on this run, but there was one interesting thing, a large old map, framed carefully and hung on one wall. It was colored, and Al went over to investigate it, wanting to know if the detail was hand done.

Ed, meanwhile, had approached the main counter, flashed his watch and been given access to a phone. He looked over at Al and what Al was looking at, and got a bit interested himself as he dialed the number to Mustang’s office. He was leaning forward and peering across the room at his brother, so the first two rings didn’t register, but then there was a third and a fourth, and that was rather odd. Had he misdialed? If the Colonel didn’t answer himself, usually on the one and half ring, then Hawkeye had picked up the phone by two.

Just as he started to hang up, the line clicked and he heard a familiar voice. “Colonel Mustang’s office.”

It was Havoc.

Ed had never known Havoc to answer the phone on the Colonel’s desk before.

“Hey Second Lieutenant,” Ed said cheerfully, “This is new, did you get promoted while we were gone?” Ed teased, “Don’t tell me, the First Lieutenant is now the Colonel and they finally kicked his ass out.”

“Ed,” Havoc said, “I’m glad you called in, there is something you need to know…”

***

 _At last, my love had come along…_

The deep velvet voice wound its way through his mind and he relaxed and smiled as he finished up the work on his desk, running late. It hardly mattered, as Ed was out of town, so there was no immediate need to rush home and make sure there was food in the house.

 _My lonely days are over, and life is like a song…._

The woman certainly knew how to get under his very skin, just her voice could make him laze around in contentment for hours. She was a particular favorite at some of the clubs he had visited when he still resided in Central and he couldn’t help but fall in love with her voice.

 _At last, the skies above are blue…_

Ed had chuckled and tilted his head.

 _The skies above are blue from light refractions, not because some singer thinks it’s from love…_ the boy’s tenor rang in his mind.

 _You’re missing the point of the song Ed, just listen…_ the Colonel remembered saying.

 _Well my heart was wrapped in clover, the night I looked at you…_

Ed had rolled his eyes.

 _What does that mean?_ the Ed in his mind chortled.

 _Will you just listen,_ Roy had returned exasperated, _I’m trying to share some culture with you._

The blonde snorted and flopped back into the couch cushions.

 _I found a dream that I could speak to…_

Roy shook his head and sighed, stood and retrieved his coat, checked for his keys, watch and gloves, and then shrugged the coat on.

He locked the big office door behind him, nodded to the guard when he exited the building and jammed his hands down in his pockets for the walk to the car lot.

 _He’s been gone three days, so much for superior intellect. No, that’s unfair. I thought he’d call in today, must be something good going on. I’ll have Mrs. Cates bake us a meatloaf, he’ll like that. I can make some potatoes to go with it, he likes potatoes._

 _Note to self: Remember to tell Hawkeye to move all my appointments up, clear up my afternoon schedules. Don’t want to be working so late when he’s in town._

 _I have to call Hughes and verbally shake him, he’s been awful quiet lately, I wonder what the hell is going on? Ah yes, the protest group, that probably has him busy._

 _Note to self: Stop and get your mail, god knows how much is crammed in that post office box by now. Fortunately, anyone who knows me knows to send it to the office, but there are still those dense few._

 _Havoc and Breda are up for review next month. Falman needs to be told to take some leave time. I need to get Cain some more books on electrics. Hawkeye’s birthday is the month after next, Hakuro wants me to review the reports on the new happenings in what was once Ishbahl. Cabinet meeting in Central at the end of the month, going to attend that, invited or not. Remind Ed he left his blue shirt under my bed, I fished it out and it’s clean now._

Roy glanced up as a figure passed him on the walk. His trained eye as an officer quickly noted the man’s uniform was ill fit, but the man with eyes down had mumbled and tossed off a half-hearted salute with his left hand, since he was carrying what looked to be a tool box in his right. Roy snorted and didn’t bother to return it. The motor pool Sergeant should hear about this, letting his men be downright sloppy.

 _I’ll stop and get a sandwich and a paper, make some coffee when I get home._

The Colonel opened his car door, caught the side of his trench and threw it over his right thigh so he could slide in without it being in the way. He’d already fished the key out, so he jammed it into the ignition and turned it while reaching to pull the car door shut.

 _A dream that I could call my own…._

Oh yes.

 _Listening to that phonograph when I get home, too._

 _Click. Snap. Hiss._

***

Alphonse startled as his brother dropped the phone on the depot house desk and screamed his name, running for the doors. It took Al a moment to un-root his feet from the spot and follow hurriedly, glancing once at the startled desk clerk as he banged out the door.

The train had already started to pull away, it was shuddering and groaning and chugging, smoke wafted over the cars and down onto the covered platform. Ed was running hard, and reaching with one white gloved hand, Al rushed to try and catch up.

 _Something has happened…_ Havoc said.

***

He was going to make it. He had to make it, the train hadn’t picked up that much speed. His automail leg made his gate as loud as the piston turning the train’s big wheels. The train was familiar with this routine and it offered no resistance to its engineers.

 _There has been a bombing…_ Havoc said.

He was going to make it. He was small, sure, but he was fast, everyone said so. The platform was long and the last car hadn’t reached the pole holding up the end of the roof yet.

 _I don’t know if the Colonel told you about the recent protest group in Central…”_ Havoc said.

He was going to make it, his nostrils were full of smoke and he was stretching his arm as far as he could. He could get a hold of the rail around the caboose car and pull himself on. The train was picking up speed, but so was he. He would reach it.

 _The Colonel was caught in the blast…._ Havoc said.

He could hear Al’s armor clanking loudly behind him as the train was cleared the end of the platform and pulled away. He wasn’t going to make it, he had to get to East City.

 _Don’t._

 _Leave._

 _ME!_

He truly didn’t know who he intended that for, train or lover. He wasn’t going to make it, the engine was already heading into the turn and the cars had cleared the platform.

 _PLEASE!_

Then he was flying. A hard hand had grabbed him by the back of his shirt through his coat, almost strangling him and a thumb had jammed his coat into the waist band of his pants so it could get a good grip, and then he was off the platform. He slammed into the railing and luckily one of his feet slipped through the bars, granting him a good perch on the caboose floor. He wrapped his hands frantically around the railing post and panted, for a moment not knowing what had happened. But then he whipped his head around, released the post with one hand and reached back. He watched a suit of armor windmill its arms backwards, teetering precariously on the platform’s edge, then stagger a step back, right it’s self and wave.

He felt torn in two all over again.

Roy ahead of him, Al behind him.

The armor waved again, moving to the very front of the platform as the caboose hit the bend. Ed waved back and then pulled the back of his gloved automail hand over his eyes.

***

He wasn’t going to make it. He threw his weight against the car door that wasn’t quite pulled all the way shut.

 _Not yet! Who will watch out for him? No one understands him like I do!_

The door slammed open on its hinge and whipped back toward him, striking him as he threw his body out, and catching his leg, making him half fall.

 _Not yet! I want to see if he looks like his brother! I want to see what color his hair is and hear his voice without a metallic ring!_

He flailed out as he fell, one hand finding the car door handle, the other finding the catch that protruded from the door frame where the car door latched. He heaved hard to pull himself upright.

 _Not yet! I don’t want the First Lieutenant to become the diamond she resembles, I want to show her how to let people in!_

He wasn’t going to make it. His great coat snagged on the window handle, holding his arm momentarily trapped, but he ripped it free and twisted violently. He got one foot and one knee on the pavement, and grabbed the side of the door to get to his feet.

 _Not yet! Havoc is command material, he just doesn’t know it! Breda isn’t as dumb as he wants everyone to think, I need to break him of that! Cain has such potential and I’m pushing him in the right direction! Falman needs to bend before he breaks, PLEASE!_

He gained his feet, pushed off the door.

 _I found a thrill to press my cheek to…_ she crooned to him softly.

 _HE NEEDS ME! NO, I NEED HIM…_

 _A thrill that I have never known…_ she husked against his ear.

He was running. One, two, three strides away from the car.

 _Well, you smile, you smile…_ she said.

Golden eyes looked at him and lit up at the sight, white teeth flashed.

 _Oh and then the spell was cast…_ she moaned.

Four strides, five.

 _Don’t leave me!_ He wasn’t sure if he meant his life or his memories.

Then the sound of all heaven opened above his head.

And then, there was nothing.

***

“I don’t know if you can call it luck, but the car door seemed to have taken the brunt of it.”

“What is the prognosis?”

“Too soon to tell.”

***

The Conductor had startled at the panting boy in surprise. When he was finally able to mumble “Ticket,” he got a silver pocket watch shoved in his face for his trouble. That in itself was guarantee for payment. The boy’s eyes skittered from his face, haunted and wild, and when the conductor tried to speak to him again, he received a raw and curt “Leave me alone!”, and took it as a sign that he shouldn’t pry. A State Alchemist’s business was his own.

***

Ed crammed himself into the last bench of the last car on the last train out before tomorrow morning. For a few long moments he thought nothing as he caught his breath, eyes glued to the slices of color rolling past the window.

 _Don’t panic, brother. The Second Lieutenant said he didn’t have all the facts and that the Colonel was in the hospital,_ his brother spoke softly to him in his head.

Ed looked at the empty seat opposite him.

“But…” he said, sucking in his lower lip.

 _We don’t know what happened, all we know is that there was a bomb and the Colonel got hurt. It might not be so bad, people survive much worse things, like me._ his brother’s disembodied voice reassured him.

“Al, I haven’t told him…” Ed whispered.

 _I think you have, just not with words, and if you haven’t, who says you won’t have the chance to? The Second Lieutenant didn’t say he was dead,_ his phantom brother spoke.

Ed put his feet up on the seat opposite him and buried his face in his knees.

 _He better not be,_ the blonde thought, _because if he is, I’ll kill him._

***

  
There were so many things to do, that she didn’t have time to worry about the things that had already been done. Just because the Colonel was absent didn’t mean that the office came to a grinding halt. The boys were at their usual seats, all silent with heads down, working intently. It was odd what a disruption to routine could do to the fine-tuned inner workings of a proficient office, which this was not and never had been, but all the same, the effort was appreciated.

She listened to her own boot heels click on the floor as she approached the empty desk and began arranging paperwork on it by priority, just like she did every day. It didn’t matter that the Colonel was absent, because the work would keep coming anyway. The military cog would hardly be slowed for one man. If the loss of one soldier could affect the whole of the engine that was the army, then it was hardly an engine worth maintaining.

Someone shuffled and coughed behind her as she worked fastidiously, this here, that there, he’ll want to know about this first. Her fingers trailed inadvertently to a silver pen butted up against a desk blotter. It was a tourist trinket etched in flames and he horded it jealously, like it was some priceless treasure. She didn’t even know where it came from since it was certainly not military issue. She rolled it back and forth under her fingertips for a moment before letting it return to the place it had been before she disturbed it.

The world didn’t stop turning because one man was absent, but at the moment, it felt like it did.

***

He pushed and shoved his way to the front of the exiting crowd, ignoring the outraged cries and grunts. He hit the platform running, pushing by the conductor and forcing his way through someone’s family, all clustered together and searching faces with eager eyes. He ran the length of the platform to the outer terminal and stopped, eyes scanning the cars. He leapt in front of a startled corporal and flashed his watch, and before the man could do more than salute, Ed was in the car. The corporal fretted, looking between a glaring state alchemist and the crowd streaming out of the inner depot, but what was he to do? He shrugged, got in the car and drove him to the East City Military Hospital.

***

“You think the only good advice is your own,” the lone figure beside the bed said, pushing his hands into his pockets, “even though we keep telling you that you have a fat head, you never listen. You haven’t changed at all; you just have another stripe on your shoulder.”

Roy Mustang was silent, which was very unusual for him, and his head was wringed in white, like a false halo. There were other white patches on him too, one peeking out of the neck of his hospital gown and others hidden by a sheet.

The man removed one hand from his pocket and used his index finger to push the thin metal nose piece of his wire frame glasses up his nose.

“You’re getting a piece of my mind when you wake up. I know you won’t listen, but I’ll know I tried. So the next time you get yourself killed, I’ll have a clear conscience.” He turned his head to a sudden commotion in the hall. The young high-pitched voice sounded familiar.

 _Ed?_

Maes Hughes opened the door of Colonel Mustang’s room and looked out to see the MP stationed there arguing with a wild, blonde mess. Ed looked like he hadn’t slept in days; his hair hung in the front of his face, even his antenna was dropping forward. His eyes darted to the older man’s and his expression changed a bit from aggravation to relief.

“Lieutenant Colonel,” Ed cried out, ducking under the MP’s arm and coming straight over to Hughes, “Tell him who I am, let me by,” he tried to duck around Hughes too, but he caught him by the arm.

“Hang on a minute Ed,” he said, then he nodded to the MP and gave Ed a tug, but the boy resisted grimly, his mouth a hard line, “I’ll let you see him, but let’s have a talk first,” Hughes urged gently.

Ed let himself be tugged across the hall, but didn’t look up at the Lieutenant Colonel, he kept his eyes fixed on the hospital room door where a ruffled MP huffed and flustered.

“He’s pretty banged up,” Hughes said, “but as usual, he’s a lucky bastard. A car door landed on him and they think that’s what saved him from the blast, but he hasn’t woken up yet and it’s going on four days.”

 _Four days. While he and Al were messing around with that nowhere lead, the Colonel had been lying here in the hospital. Why hadn’t he called in sooner, why hadn’t they tried to contact him?_

“I’m surprised to see you here, I was told you were out in the field,” Hughes said, “did someone tell you when you called in?”

Ed nodded once, but didn’t name names. They liked to hide things from him, so he wasn’t going to volunteer Havoc to a possible dressing down.

“Where’s Al?” the Lieutenant Colonel asked.

 _I left him all alone so I could come running here, some elder brother I am. I left him on a train platform in a Podunk town, waving goodbye to my sorry ass, and missed him so badly that I had conversations in with him in my mind so I wouldn’t panic. How pathetic is that? Let me go, I have to see him, let me see him, please!_

“He’ll be along,” Ed said hoarsely.

The Lieutenant Colonel looked at Ed’s face for a long moment, then nodded, released his shoulder and watched the boy dart across the hall into the hospital room door. He started to follow and then stopped. He wasn’t sure what this was, but he decided that Ed alone was more company than Roy could stand and went to get himself a cup of coffee.

***

The smell of antiseptic was not a pleasant memory, and the silence almost burned. Waning sunlight filtered through the blinds, laying stripes light across the room and bed. It made the figure lying there look like he was a painting on several canvases, alternating between dark and light.

Ed was scared.

It’s not like he hadn’t been scared before, far from it. He had been scared plenty; he was just good at not showing it. He was scared with a maniacal prophet used a false stone, he was scared when it was said that a scarred man stalked State Alchemists, he was scared when his younger brother screamed his name before dissipating before his eyes, he was scared when a thousand eyes peered at him from deep shadows. Scared was nothing new to him.

But, he was having a harder time with this. The only time fear like this had ever twisted his stomach in two, was when he heard Al’s frantic screams on that fateful night. Now, as it was then, he was helpless to do anything but stand there and watch. He dragged his brother back from the other side with his arm, and at this very moment, he thought seriously about offering his other one. He stood near the foot of the bed and cursed himself quietly that he couldn’t move forward any farther.

***

 _Let me show you how to dance,_ he could tell by the look in the Colonel’s eyes that the man was laughing at him.

 _Screw you,_ he told that handsome, arrogant face, _I’m not one of your girlfriends and I don’t give a damn about that shit._

 _But I like this song,_ the Colonel had said, undaunted as he tried to catch Ed’s hands.

But Ed was quick and scooted away, raising his automail foot and baring his teeth.

 _I said NO._

Ed covered his face with his hand.

 _I said I would protect you._

 _You said you loved me._

Ed pulled his hand down, clenched his fists and moved slowly, haltingly to the bedside. As he peered over the Colonel, it looked even more like one part of the man was painted in hues of night. There was a dark bruise on his cheek and his hair looked even shorter on one side. On that same side, his skin looked pink and almost blistered.

Ed slowly peeled the glove off of his flesh hand and he looked at it, his hand wasn’t too dirty. He raised it and hesitated over the Colonel’s face, looking for some bit of skin that didn’t look purple or blistered. He finally settled on the corner of the bastard’s mouth and laid light finger tips there. The Colonel made no sound, no corresponding smile like he usually did when Ed touched him. There was no flash in black eyes and hinted he wanted more, there was no reciprocating touch that promised more, there was nothing.

 _Don’t leave me._

“Don’t leave me!” Ed’s own voice startled him in the silence of the room. He bit his lips and closed his eyes tight against the sting.

But the Colonel didn’t reply.

***

Hughes shook him awake. Ed sat up groggily and blinked at him, disoriented and confused. It took him a moment to remember where he was, another moment to realize he’d fallen asleep with his head on the bed next to the Colonel’s hand.

“Go on back to your dorm and get some sleep, Ed,” the Lieutenant Colonel said kindly, “You look like you could use it.”

“No,” Ed said groggily, “I’m fine, really. Someone has to be here if he wakes up.”

Hughes found it rather touching this brash, loud-mouthed child, who wanted everyone to think he was so capable and so tough _(and in many ways he was)_ , was actually soft hearted. He appreciated that Ed obviously valued the many things Roy Mustang had done for him. Outside of himself, Hughes had never seen Roy bend over so far backwards; it was almost as if he would let the Elric brothers snap his spine.

But even so, it wouldn’t do with Ed so bedraggled and exhausted, sleeping in a chair with his head on the bed. When was the last time the boy had anything to eat?

“I’ll call you if there is any change,” Hughes urged.

Ed started to argue, but a certain inner voice said softly _”It’s going to look suspicious if you carry on, brother._

He missed Al in a way that was almost physically painful. He stood, let himself be ushered out, and even let the Lieutenant Colonel walk him to the front doors and get him a cab.

“Get some sleep Ed, come back later. He’s a lot tougher than you think,” Hughes said again and gave the boy a fond rub on the head.

  
Ed was so soul sore and lonely for both brother and lover, he couldn’t even summon the strength to be offended at this overtly fatherly gesture as he usually would be.

“You must really be wiped,” the Lieutenant Colonel said, “to let me get away with that.” The he put Ed in the cab and sent him to the dorms.

***

The dorm room was cold, gray and empty. Al wasn’t home yet and that made Ed worry and hurt. The Colonel didn’t speak to him and that also made him worry and hurt. He dragged at his clothes and fell onto his bed, curled around a pillow and grit his teeth.

 _“I want you to know that it’s ok if you aren’t ready yet,” Roy whispered. “Please don’t feel there is something you owe me because I said it, it’s something I wanted to say, and I give it freely, no strings attached. And since I’ve given it to you, it’s yours to do what you want with, understand? It’s not an obligation of any sort. If it was, then it wouldn’t be what it is, ok?”_

He pressed his face harder into the pillow.

 _NO! It’s not ok! You give and give and give and I’m too stupid, too blind to see it. I LOVE YOU TOO, only I’m a fucking coward! You shouldn’t love me! I am worthless, doesn’t anybody see that?! DOESN’T ANYBODY?! What about you, AL? What the fuck has your big brother ever done for you that is so great?”_

His brother’s voice answered him serenely: _You saved my soul._

 _I’m the one who jeopardized it in the first place! How can that be any favor to you? HOW?!_

His automail fist punched the mattress, but the mattress wouldn’t back down, so he did it again and again.

 _And you, you BASTARD, I put your life on the line by risking your job, I am awkward and stupid at sex, GOD, how can you stand it?! I was mean to your friend, I’ve cost you your reputation, every goddamn day you put up with more and more of my BULLSHIT!_

His eyes were stinging.

“No,” he mumbled to the pillow, “no.”

 _I will do what’s right, I will. I will tell you, somehow I’ll make you hear me, I swear. Al, where are you?_

He ached to hear clanking metal.

 _I’m scared._

He finally gave into the pillow and made it damp.

***

“Brother, wake up,” a soft tinny voice sounded in his ear. At first he just smiled at his inner Al, glad for at least that little bit of company.

“Brother,” came the voice again, this time accompanied by the touch of rough leather on his shoulder. Ed’s eyes flew open, jerked to a half upright position and stared at Al, who was leaning over the bed.

“I talked to Second Lieutenant Havoc,” Al said, “after you left, I got the next train out, I’m sorry it took so long to get back.”

Edward Elric made a single sound that conveyed more love than any mere word could have ever done justice. He reached up and grabbed one of Al’s shoulder spikes and tugged. Al leaned further over and Ed threw his arms around his brother as far as he could reach, pressing his face to a cool metal chest plate.

“It’s ok,” Al said and rubbed Ed’s back, “I’m here now, it’s ok.”

For the second time in less than a day, Edward Elric cried.

***

Edward told Al in a scratchy voice everything he’d seen in the hospital room and everything he’d done. Al nodded his head and patted his brother, sent him to shower and cooked him some food. He watched Ed play with it, hair scraggly wet and face drawn.

“Eat it Ed,” he scolded, “you won’t do him any good if you make _yourself_ sick, he wouldn’t like that.”

Ed gave Al a guilty look and obeyed, but slowly.

“Did Lieutenant Colonel Hughes tell you what the doctors said?” Al asked.

Ed shook his head no.

“Well maybe you should ask him when you go back,” Al said.

Ed nodded yes.

“I think he’ll be ok,” Al said, “I think the Colonel is a strong person.”

Ed shrugged.

“And who would want to leave you behind,” Al continued, “I know I wouldn’t.”

Ed looked across the table at his younger brother.

“I really love you Al,” he said, “and I should tell you more often.”

***

Hughes looked at Ed askance, but he was clean this time, in clean clothes and had better color.

“That wasn’t much of a sleep,” he said.

“I’m fine, really,” Ed said evenly, “I just thought I should ask his condition, I mean we didn’t really talk at all, and hey, I could say the same thing to you, you look beat.”

The Lieutenant Colonel shrugged and smiled.

“All part and parcel of the whole Roy Mustang routine,” he said, “it’s not the first time.”

“You’ve been friends a long time,” Ed said, more a statement than a question.

“Yeah,” Hughes said, “sometimes I think I need my head examined.”

Ed couldn’t help it, he laughed a little and Hughes smiled.

“The doctor was by earlier,” the Lieutenant Colonel said and smiled at the boy’s hopeful look, “they pinched his fingers and he moved them.”

Ed’s eyes positively lit up. “Really?” he asked and then seemed to school himself, “Well that’s good,” he followed, in much more subdued tones.

“I tell you what, you can sit with him long enough for me to get some food and maybe catch a nap on a couch in the waiting area.” the Lieutenant Colonel said to him.

“Oh sure,” Ed said, “take your time. I have all sorts of things to say to him now that he can’t hear me. I may never have such an opportunity again.”

Hughes laughed and patted Ed’s shoulder.

“Ok then,” Hughes said, “he’s all yours.”

***

All mine, all quiet and unresponsive and hurt and bandaged and blistered, but all mine.

Ed looked back at the door for a moment, then slide his gloved fingers under Roy’s, then back at the door another moment, then he pinched. The Colonel jerked his fingers. That was great, but it wouldn’t do to get caught pinching the fingers of an invalid.

Ed took a few deep breaths.

“Ok,” he said, “I have a few things to say. First, I want to say I’m sorry for going back on my word, for not protecting you. But I think you know as well as I do that I can’t always be here, like you can’t always be there for me. We both have things we have to do, so yeah, it hurts that I failed you, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I mean, I have already, and I’m ok with it now. Second, you are some stupid fuck to let this happen in the first place. You’re smarter than this, so I don’t get how you could just blindly walk into something unless you had a lot on your mind, like me, so we’re going to have to work something out. I know it’s hard not to think about me… oh that sounded arrogant didn’t it. What I meant was, it’s hard for me not to think about you, so I sort of thought it would be the same for you, maybe, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on behind those slanty black eyes half the time. Nevermind, you get it, you get what I’m saying, I know you do, because you’re who you are. Third, I want to thank you for taking care of us, me and Al. Without you to fall back on, we’d pretty much have nothing, and I realize that. I know I don’t come across as grateful, but I am. I’m bad about saying that to your face, but I should sometimes, I should learn to say thank you when I need to. Al says I’m socially inept. I think that’s unfair, I get along just fine with people when they aren’t bastards, like you are. I don’t threaten people, much… I mean, I just know I can’t let things stop me or get in the way. You’re just like that too, so you know where I’m coming from with this. How is it I’m called socially inept by my own brother, but people fall all over you and want to lick your boots when we are practically the same thing? I think that’s pretty shitty. You always get everything, but I get laughed at, and shot at, and chased.”

Ed worked his jaw; this wasn’t where this conversation was supposed to go. He chased after it and pulled it back on track.

“Ok, so thank you for taking care of us. It means a lot to us both, and a lot to me because you’re so nice to Al and don’t treat him like a freak. Yeah, thanks.”

Ed took another deep breath and then another.

“Ok last point and I’ll shut up,” he said. “There is something I want to tell you, something I say to you a lot, just never out loud. It’s hard for me to say it, because when I do, it usually does more harm than good. But, you have stuck by me, been patient with me, and helped me when I needed it most. I think about you, I think about how you would react now, and I like looking at you and touching you and I REALLY like you touching me. I like talking to you and listening to you, even when you make me mad. I like just being with you and I want you to know I like being with you, too. I more than like it,” Ed bit his lip.

He leaned close to the Colonel’s ear.

“I want you to know,” he said softly, “that I lo…”

The Colonel jerked and snorted, his eyebrows twitching.

A voice hoarse and low whispered to Ed: “There’s meatloaf in the icebox.” Then the Colonel sighed, snuffled and licked his lips.

“Meatloaf?” Ed said, momentarily stunned.

“I was going to make potatoes,” the Colonel said groggily, “but I feel like shi…” and was caught off by a pair of warm lips over his.

“…it.” He finished when Ed pulled back. The Colonel blinked, opened his eyes and regarded Ed in a very unfocused fashion. “Would it be ok if you just made sandwiches with it?” he queried.

“Fuck yes,” Ed said, smiling. Then he pulled back. Wouldn’t be good to be seen kissing an invalid either.

“Oh good,“ the Colonel sighed, “and when you’re through, come back to bed.” Then he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

Ed pinched his fingers again.

  
***

When the Colonel was released from the hospital, he was told he still needed to take some time off, so he sat in his bed, faded blue and peeling, surrounded by magazines and books and empty boxes of chocolates. Flowers and stuffed animals and notes and cards, bottles of wine and boxes of cigars and even new bedroom slippers that were spotted like an exotic cat _(these were from Anna)_. They had been the only gift from a female that Ed had brought him without complaint, and now here he came again, snarling, shoving another vase of flowers on Roy’s dresser and snatching up the card.

“Who’s Desiree?” Ed demanded.

Roy sighed.

“You don’t complain so much when they send candy,” Roy pointed out.

“Candy is useful, these are just decorative,” Ed snorted.

“Useful?” Roy asked.

“Yeah, keeps me from kicking your ass,” Ed growled.

Ed came over to the bed and hopped on, crawled up beside the Colonel and flopped over, sticking his nose against the Colonel’s hip.

The Colonel smiled and patted his hair, running the pad of his thumb around the edge of Ed’s ear. Ed sighed at the touch, closing his eyes a bit and settling.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” the Colonel said.

“Shut up,” Ed growled, “it’s not like you did it on purpose or anything, and I wasn’t scared, you’re too much of a bastard to die.”

The Colonel chuckled and sighed.

“I suppose you’re stuck with me,” the bastard said.

“I’ve had worse,” Ed shrugged and rubbed his nose against the Colonel’s hip.

“Do me a favor?” the Colonel asked.

“Sure,” Ed said without hesitation.

“Think you can bring my phonograph in here?” the Colonel questioned.

Ed sat up and swung his feet off the bed.

“I don’t see why not,” he groused, “I’ve already lugged a half ton of fucking flowers in here today,” and he went to fetch the box.

***

The Colonel shuffled through his discs while Ed stood by on call to be the manner of the phonograph.

“Make up your mind already,” the blonde grumbled, “I’m not your maid, you know.”

“I’m sorry, ah, here it is,” Roy carefully unsleeved the disc, holding it by the edges in the palm of his hands and offering it to Ed. Ed started to close his automail fingers over it and take it, but the Colonel whipped it out of the way.

“Not like that,” the Colonel said, scowling, “you’ll scratch it.”

Ed snorted, turned and stomped to the bathroom. He returned with a wash cloth wrapped around his metal digits.

“Happy?” he snapped.

“Almost,” the Colonel said, “but hold it like I’m holding it and try not to let your fingers touch the grooves,” he said loftily, then presented Ed the phonograph disc like it was plated in gold.

Ed gently pressed the flats of his palms to the disc’s edges and carried it slowly over to the dresser where the phonograph was perched. He then realized the error of his location of the phonograph, because the chest of drawers was almost as tall as he was and the phonograph was sitting up high now, he couldn’t readily see over the side. It he just lifted the disc up over the box and dropped it, the Colonel might, literally, have a cow. He was picky about these things. Ed went up on tiptoe, but still couldn’t get a clear view over the top of the phonograph box, so he stood there bouncing on his toes in indecision. He grimaced when he heard a chuckle behind him.

Ed turned around, went back to the bed and let the disc drop onto it, earning a gasp from the Colonel. Then he went back to the phonograph box, picked it up and took it to the dresser. He set it down amidst the flowers, several of which crashed to the floor, and the Colonel gasped again, but Ed merely turned around, clapped his hands and knelt. He then picked up the reconstructed vases and flowers, and carried them to the _chest of drawer_ and put them _there_. He came back for the phonograph disc, picking it up carefully with palms just on the edges, paused to show the Colonel his tongue, took it over to the dresser, lowered it over the turntable, pulled his hands away and let the disc drop neatly onto the spool. He cranked the handle, toggled the switch and the disc began to turn.

“Second track in,” the Colonel said amusedly behind him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ed said, “You always start out with the same old song.”

He turned to look at the bastard and the bastard patted the bed beside him.

Ed took this as an invitation for a short run and leap, and the Colonel laughed as his velvet-voiced goddess filled the room and his lover filled his arms.

 _..and here we are in heaven, and you are mine.._

 _At last._

Ed sighed and leaned back on the Colonel who nuzzled the top of his head.

“You know what?” the blonde said.

“Why don’t you tell me,” the Colonel replied.

“I think I like this song,” Ed said.

The Colonel kissed the top of his head.


	13. Chapter 13

“No,” the blond growled, tightening his hold, “it’s Sunday,” he snarled.

Roy tugged again, snorted and tried to loosen the automail fingers from his wrist, only to have a flesh leg snake across his lap, an automail leg slide across his back and ankles hooked at his side.

“Ed, you know how far I got behind last month with that whole bombing business,” Roy said aggravated. He looked at the blonde’s face and regretted his words. He leaned over the boy, stroked his hair and nosed his ear. “If I don’t get this done today, I have to stay later tomorrow and you wouldn’t like that either,” he said softly, “It will only take a few hours, then I’ll bring you home something from the deli, how about that?”

“I don’t want anything from the deli,” the teen said petulantly, “I want you. We just got back in last night from Xenotime. I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks, it’s not fair.”

Roy dropped his forehead to the side of Ed’s head.

“Things are rarely fair, Edward,” he said.

“You say that like you think I don’t know it, and you only use my full name when you’re trying to impart your so-called wisdom,” Ed grumbled.

“Let me go now and I’ll be home this evening,” Roy said gently.

“Fine,” Ed said and released him, rolled over and presented the Colonel his back.

Roy reached out and stroked it once, Ed sighed again. Roy got up and went into the bathroom.

Ed drew little circles on the pillow and wound his feet in the sheets. When they’d finally gotten in last night it was late, but it was Saturday. Al was the living embodiment of giving.

“Go see the Colonel,” his little brother said, “I know he’ll be glad to see you.”

Ed had made a dismissive sound.

“I don’t have to rush right over there just because we haven’t been back in a while,” he said, and sucked on the inside of his cheek.

“Oh you missed him, I know it,” Al said, “I don’t know why you feel you have to hide it. Besides, I’ll be able to get the wash done and catch up on some of my reading without you in my non-existent hair.”

“Who are you calling so undersized they get tangled in your panache?” Ed snarled loudly.

“It’s been so long since I’ve heard one of those,” Al said in wonderment, “I was beginning to think you may have actually become immune, but you’ve restored my faith in your ability to totally gloss over what is actually said and only hear what you want to hear.”

The door rattled loudly on its hinges as Ed slammed it on the way out.

Al thought it was really cute how Ed relied on his permission before he did anything sometimes.

How clever Al was to give it without out seeming to.

***

Roy had answered the door in his bathrobe, hair flat on one side of his head and eyes half open.

Ed had stepped past him into the foyer without a word and Roy had shut the door, turning to him.

Edward just fell forward. Long arms caught him and pulled him close and he nuzzled into a chest that smelled like sandalwood, sighing as long, deft fingers tugged the tie from his hair and plucked apart his braid.

Then there were lips on his lips and he was being walked backwards into the living room, his long red coat being pushed off his shoulder. He tangled his own fingers in the bathrobe the Colonel wore and stretched up on his toes to meld his lips with the ones busy chewing his.

There was more negotiation in the hall, where Edward lost his black jacket and black tank top, and then there was the bliss of sheets against his bare back that smelled like soap and sandalwood. His feet were bared and then his belt was taken. His pants and boxers followed suit and then there was a rustle of fabric not from his body.

Then Ed knew the heaven of bare skin, on his chest and between his legs, rubbing the inside of his thighs. Warm lips descended on his mouth again and he opened it. The Colonel tasted a bit sweet and that was also nirvana.

But as willing as the body might be, it was also tired. Train trips that lasted days were very conducive of sleep. Ed’s lover was very sensitive to his needs, for he drew Ed up into soft pillows, cradled Ed against a chest that was warm and comforting, stroked through blonde hair and down a smooth back until Ed fell asleep.

***

“I know,” the Colonel leaned out of the bathroom door, toothbrush hanging from his mouth, “Why don’t you call Al and invite him over? He can keep you company while I’m at work.”

Ed turned back over and looked at him, raised an eyebrow.

“You wouldn’t mind?” he said hopefully.

“Of course not,” Roy replied, “I have books and chess and the phonograph, _if you’re careful_ , and some board games.”

Ed sat up and smiled.

“Ok,” he said, kicking off the sheet and sliding off the bed, “I’ll go call him.”

Roy sighed and watched Ed’s bare backside go out the door.

As long as Al went home when Roy got off work, it was ok.

***

Ed charged to the door and yanked it open before the second knock could land. About twenty minutes earlier, he’d charged to the same door and blocked it with his body until a beautiful dark-haired man in a uniform pawed him eagerly, kissed him senseless and had to grab the door frame to tug his hand free so he could go.

“Al!” Ed said as if he hadn’t seen his sibling in months instead of hours.

“Hi Brother,” Al returned cheerily with the same tone and held up a bag, “I brought you some lunch.”

***

The boys sat together on the living room floor, a chess board between them, a few books opened here and there and half a turkey and cheese sandwich hanging out of Ed’s mouth.

“It was really nice of the Colonel to invite me,” Al said, making a move with his pawn, “I’ve never been inside his apartment before.”

Ed bit down on the sandwich, chewed and swallowed.

“Yeah,” Ed said, “It was nice, he knew he was going to be gone for a while, I guess he thought I would get lonely.”

It was very nice to be able to share with his brother this apartment which was filled with so many wonderful memories, some not so wonderful ones, but they were all part of the same whole. It made the apartment feel more like home now that Al was creating memories inside it too.

“Or he was scared of what you might do in here given time to yourself,” Al said and Ed tracked back a bit, trying to decide if Al’s visit was going to be in the good memory or not so good memory category.

  
***

After being trounced soundly twice, Ed decided chess was boring, and so were the books. He decided to poke around in a hall closet instead and he found some boxes on the very top shelf. Well, Al found some and Ed pestered him until Al handed them down into his reach. Now the brothers were back on the living room floor with the boxes open and the contents laid bare.

“You can’t get mad at him for this,” Al said, “these are all before you started seeing him, some of them are from before you even knew him,” he said reasonably.

Ed was sneering at yet another love letter, before tossing it over his shoulder and digging in the box again.

“Oh yes I can,” Ed said, “he knows everything about everything before we do, even if we are in the middle of the everything he already knows,” Ed stopped to ponder that sentence, then shook his head and yanked another letter out of another envelope, “so he should have seem me coming. That. Bastard.”

The second box was not as incriminating as the first. The top few letters were mushy, but then they hit official things. A letter congratulating him on his promotion, some letters from Anna that made Ed have a twinge of conscience over, so he left them unmolested. At the bottom were photographs.

“Oh look,” Al said, picking one up, “it’s Lieutenant Colonel Hughes.”

Ed craned his neck over to see. Roy and Hughes stood, grinning, Roy’s arm was slung over Hughes’ shoulder, both were in their uniform pants, but the tops were just undershirts and they looked dirty and sweaty.

“They must be good friends,” Al said and put the picture down, reaching in for another one.

“Yeah,” Ed said, smiling at the memory of Hughes at Roy’s bedside, looking relieved and stern at the same time, after Roy had woken up.

Al held up another picture and looked at it for a long moment.

“I think it’s the Colonel,” Al said.

“Let me see,” Ed said, holding out his hand.

“He’s with a girl, promise you won’t hyperventilate,” Al said.

“Give it to me!” his older brother snapped.

So Al handed it over and Ed looked at it, and his eyebrows rose and his mouth stretch into a grin.

A teenage Roy was scowling at the camera, dressed in shorts and a tank top, barefoot, with hair wet and plastered to his head. A stocky man with a square jaw and short, clipped hair was standing beside him, an arm over his shoulders and a girl with heavy glasses and short brown hair was also in the picture, looking like she was trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

“That’s Anna,” Ed said, and showed the picture to Al again, “I guess that’s her dad, I’m keeping this one out,” Ed sat it aside, “In fact…” Ed leaned over and slid the picture into the space between Al’s helmet and neck ring.

“Hey,” Al said, “that’s like stealing.” He patted his chest plate like he felt the fluttering bit of paper settle in the bottom.

“Just a little insurance,” Ed said, “the next time he zings me in front of the guys in the office I’ll have some ammunition.” Ed patted his brother’s chest.

“You’re making me an accomplice to your criminal activities,” Al said.

“Oh you love it and you know it,” Ed grinned, “at least it’s never dull.”

“That’s what worries me,” Al returned.

A few more pictures were drawn out. Some old faded ones, they were marked on the back with dates, but the ink was faded and worn. Ed recognized no one in them and Al made sure he put them back in first, almost lovingly.

“They might be pictures of his family,” Al said.

“You think?” Ed asked. The Colonel never talked about his family.

“Yeah,” Al said, “that older man sort of looks like the Colonel and they are pretty old to be turning yellow like that.”

“Oh,” Ed said and watched Al reassemble the boxes. “You think he misses them?” Ed ventured.

“Maybe,” Al said, “but with us and you and everyone at the office, I think he made a new one.”

Ed smiled.

***

Paperwork. Was. So. Dull.

Roy yawned again and contemplated his desktop, sighing and slouching some more. He was in the office alone _(but no First Lieutenant breathing down his neck so it wasn’t all bad)_ and that was even more boring.

He leaned forward again, and stared down at the field report he’d started reading two times. If this agent was any more dry in his writing, the paper would have crumbled up and blown away. He thought about Ed’s reports. Those messy, hand written affairs, written so heavy-handed that the paper was torn in places. They were filled with misspellings and doodles, wild grammatical stretches and long, weaving run on sentences that Roy would physically put punctuation in himself and reread a few times to make sure he had it right. That was the way to write a report, something to engage the mind of the person having to read it, to draw them into participation, like filling in commas and periods. Ed would give him such a report on Xenotime and he looked forward to it, much better reading than this current lot about police actions and local rumors.

Of course thinking about Ed was not the best way to concentrate, especially not after this morning or last night or a few weeks ago. Roy sighed. No, it wasn’t good to think about Ed naked, or moaning, or arching or stretching. It wasn’t even good to think about Ed laughing, because that led to Roy wanting to make him moan and arch and stretch. The Colonel laid his cheek on the desk, fiddled with his silver pen and sighed again. This was going to take forever.

He sat up, stood, marched over to the filing cabinets behind the big desk, reached up on top, pulled the radio over and turned it on. He decided he was very picky about the station and fiddled with the knob a quite a while until he found something he could tolerate. Then he stretched and scratched, noticing a bag under the big table where the men sat. He squatted down and pulled it out, opened it up and found some of Fuery’s books. Al read these books, too. He took one out and looked at it, laughed a little at the title, opened it up to sample a paragraph and scowled. What drivel.

He wandered back over to his desk, still reading so he could mentally mock the entire thing and plopped down in his chair.

A half hour later, he was a third of the way through the book and wondering if the Duke realized his evil twin was impersonating him at the Summer Ball, when his stomach asked him if it could have some dumplings. Why of course it could, so he marked his place, put the book in his desk drawer, gathered up his necessary things and went to lunch.

On the walk to lunch, he decided to make friends with the MP assigned to watch his ass at all times, but the man was too interested in things like his duty to be much of a conversationalist. He kept giving everyone nasty looks too, so the Colonel sighed and endured. At a newsstand on the way, he stopped and picked up a couple of books for Fuery that he hadn’t seen in the bag.

At lunch he flirted with a darling Xingian waitress that couldn’t have been much older than Ed, _(then had the duel guilt of A: Flirting with a girl, and B: Flirting with a very young girl)_ and that gave him pause, but not for too long. He flirted with her again when she brought the check because she was cute… and Ed couldn’t see him doing it.

***

“Ok,” Ed said.

“Ok,” Al said.

“You ready?” Ed said.

“Ready,” Al said.

“Here I go!” Ed yelped, then ran through the kitchen. He hit the hardwood floor at the opening of the hall doorway, slid the length in a pair of Roy’s socks and slammed into the shut guest bedroom door at the end, landing on his tuckus.

Al did him one better. Al slammed him _through_ the door and Ed slid all the way up under the bed. Al had to get him out and dust him off, which lead him to decide to clean under the bed. When Ed could see again, he alchemized the door back to normal. He’d wait until Al took off the socks to try and fix the holes in them.

“I wonder where the Colonel keeps his broom?” Al said.

Ed looked at him askance.

“You’re going to seriously clean out from under that bed?” he asked.

“Well yeah,” Al said, “it’s filthy, why?”

“I got a lousy deal for my right arm, the Gate kept the part of your mind that makes sense sometimes,” Ed grumbled.

“Well what did you expect,” Al returned, “it was _your_ arm, after all.”

***

The walk back to the office was long, hot and tiring. The Colonel dragged back in and collapsed behind his desk. How was he supposed to work in these conditions? The paperwork on his desk hadn’t magically finished itself by the time he got back and that was disappointing. Maybe there was an array to complete paperwork, have to talk to Ed about that. So he sat up, picked up his pen and stared at the report in front of him.

He wrote: _This man’s reports read slightly better than the backside of a sick donkey_ in the margin. There, that ought to make Hawkeye happy, he was providing commentary. Well if he could keep up this pace he’d be done in no time! Never give up, never give in, never look back! He grabbed the next sheaf of papers to see what insulting, yet witty remark it provoked from him. He just loved sudden inspiration!

***

They were laying on the kitchen floor now. Al took up most of it, so Ed was all scrunched up in the corner where the cabinets met the stove. He was eating a pork chop he found in the icebox unattended. It was just lying there, and Roy hadn’t put his name on it or anything, so he figured he didn’t need it.

“You don’t know how long that’s been in there,” Al said, studying the ceiling and trying to gather deeper meaning from the rust-colored water stains that were collected up in one corner.

“It’s not green and it didn’t smell bad,” Ed said, stripping the bone with rodent-like efficiency.

“Well, I’m glad you finally figured that out,” Al said, “I didn’t think that lesson was ever going to stick.”

“When you can eat again what’s the first thing you’ll eat?” Ed said.

“Hmmmm,” Al pondered, “Noodles with meat sauce, probably.”

“Noodles with meat sauce,” Ed almost drooled.

“I just want something you really, really want to eat, but then when you try and get some, I’ll pout and say ‘But it’s not fair, I haven’t gotten to eat anything in _so_ long!’ and then, all guilt ridden, you won’t eat any,” Al stated.

“You’re really mean,” his elder brother said.

“Yeah, I know,” Al sighed, “but more for me!”

***

Ed was sometimes too curious for his own good.

“I don’t think you should be messing with that stuff,” Al said cautiously.

Ed picked up another bottle from Roy’s small make shift bar, uncapped it, took a whiff and wrinkled his nose.

“What’s that?” Al asked.

“Scotch, he drinks it like it’s orange juice or something,” Ed said and recapped it.

“What does it taste like?” Al asked.

“I would say it’s a lot like drinking liquid fire. It looks like that stuff at the restaurant,” Ed said.

“You drank scotch in a restaurant?” Al asked, clearly impressed.

“Yeah,” Ed said, “I did, out of a huge glass that was about this big,” Ed shaped his hands, “but it wasn’t full. It was just a little in the bottom because it was the really expensive kind, you know all fancy and shit like the Colonel likes,” Ed was proud of his boyfriend’s snooty tastes.

“Wow,” Al said, “did you like it?”

“No,” Ed said, “it was awful and it made me do stupid things.”

“Like what?” Al asked and picked up the bottle.

“Well, it made me set a table cloth on fire and fall over a potted plant,” Ed said.

Al put the bottle down quickly.

“I want to go out with you sometime, it sounds like a lot of fun,” Al said.

“The Colonel didn’t seem to think so,” Ed grumbled.

Ed squatted down, opened the bottom doors of the liquor cabinet and started setting more varied bottles up on it’s counter. Al read the labels curiously.

“Oh I know what cherry cordial is,” his younger brother said with glee, “it’s an aperitif, something you drink before a meal. The Duke has them all the time.”

“Oh yeah?” Ed said, “How is the Duke anyways?”

“He’s on a mission to the furthest corners of the coldest continent to seek out The Ice Crystal Alchemist who may be the only thing that can save his one true love, of this book anyways.”

“He’s a well-traveled guy,” Ed said, “too bad we can’t ask him about the philosopher’s stone.”

“It is too bad,” Al said, “because with his good looks and savvy charm and dynamic know-how, I’m sure finding the stone would be a breeze.”

“You read way, way, way too much into these little conversations, Al,” Ed said.

“It’s my older brother coping mechanism,” Al said, “it serves me well.”

***

Ed selected the fanciest glass Roy had in the pantry and carried it back to the bar. He decided to try the cherry cordial first.

“I still think this is a bad idea,” Al said.

“Hey if I’m old enough to fu… uh, have a boyfriend, I’m old enough to drink,” Ed said.

“Touché dear brother, touché,” Al said.

Ed poured some of the amber liquid into the glass and sniffed it. It didn’t smell as bad as the others. He took a cautious sip, then another. It kind of tasted like the Colonel had last night. Pretty soon, it tasted really good.

***

After Ed had had about three over one too many, he decided he needed to show Al his Colonel impersonation. So together they went into the bedroom, Ed in the lead and Al following with hands out to catch Ed if he fell over, which he threatened to do at least twice. Ed began tossing things over his shoulder, scrabbling through the closet in search of the Colonel’s spare uniform.

“There’s your blue shirt,” Al quipped behind him, “I’ve been looking all over for it! I should have known.”

Finally the uniform was located, torn out of its cleaners paper wrapping and suitably donned. Ed looked like he was wearing a blue tent predictably, but he fussed with the collar and straightened the epilates and pushed up the sleeves.

“So let’s see this great impersonation,” Al told his inebriated sibling.

Ed cleared his throat.

“Major Elric,” Ed snapped and pointed to his non-existent other self, “you have been a naughty, naughty boy,” he slurred.

“Huh, I don’t remember the Colonel saying anything like that,” Al said.

“Your insubordination is a disgrace to this entire army,” Ed continued undaunted.

“Ok, he’s probably said that,” Al sighed.

“Your punishment will be severe,” Ed intoned grimly.

“Oh come on, the Colonel never said that,” Al put his hands on his hips.

“Drop your drawers young man,” Ed howled.

“Whoa, has he really said that?” Al asked.

“And get over there on that bed on your stomach, I better see those cheeks in the air,” Ed wailed.

“I’m going to the living room now!” Al yelped and turned to go.

“You’re in for it now,” Ed shrieked behind him, “because Colonel Spanky has come to town!”

***

After Ed had finished yelling at whoever he was yelling at in the bedroom, he decided to join Al in the living room. Al heard him coming. He heard Ed muttering in the hall, take a few steps and then a loud thud. He heard more muttering, some scrabbling around, a few more steps and then a loud thud. When Ed actually made it into the living room, he stood weaving like a cattail in the breeze and fixed Al with a befuddled look. “I think my automail is broken.”

Al watched Ed take a couple of steps into the living room, trip on the long legs of the uniform and fall over.

“Not the automail,” Al said wryly, “but I agree with you, something is broken, or will be if the Colonel catches you.”

Ed looked up, got to his hands and knees and then his feet.

“I know,” he said, smiling serenely, “we’ll listen to phono… phono… those!” and he pointed at the Colonel’s precious phonograph disc collection, sitting and minding their own business in a wooden rack carved just to hold them neatly beside the phonograph box.

“Uh,” Al said, “I don’t know, maybe we shouldn’t bother those.”

Ed pursed his lips and made a raspberry sound, headed over, and fell. He picked himself up, fell again, then crawled the rest of the way, using the stand that the phonograph was sitting on to get to his feet. He flipped open its lid and looked inside it for the longest time, raised his sleeve-drowned hand, put it on the crank and continued to stare into the box. Finally, he slapped himself in the forehead with his automail hand and winced. “Oh yeah, you got to put one in!”

Al shook his head.

Ed turned to the rack, picked up the first disc and he slid it out of its sleeve, studied it closely and dropped it.

“Ah!” Al said behind him.

“Don’t worry,” Ed said, “that’s not the one I wanted,” and he picked up another one.

“Ed, maybe you should let me do this,” Al said.

“What? No! I am perfectly capable,” and he weaved a little, “of doing this on my own, have you ever worked one of these before?” he looked at Al and attempted to look superior, but he looked like he was negotiating a sewer in the middle of the rainy season.

“Well no,” Al admitted.

“Well I have,” Ed said, “you just leave it to your big brother,” Ed looked at the second disc for a long moment, then dropped it and picked up a third.

“That’s how I got into the mess in the first place,” Al muttered.

After a few more discs had hit the floor, Ed decided on one from the very back at random, he dropped it into the box, reached in and seem to wiggle it all around, then cranked the mechanism with such enthusiasm Al thought it might be able to take off and fly. Ed curse it for a few moments, then seem to remember to toggle the switch and dropped the needle onto it, the phonograph immediately blared to life in the middle of a song. Ed had wound the box up so tight it was playing a little fast and the person in the song sounded funny and squeaky like a mouse.

“It’s our song,” Ed said drunkenly and sighed and tilted his head.

“It is?” Al asked.

Ed seemed to consider it. “No, stupid thing! That’s not it!” and he reached in, ripped the disc off the turntable and flung it over his shoulder.

Al watched it sail across the room, strike the wall and fall behind the couch.

“Play our song!” Ed was ordering the phonograph player.

“It might help if it knew which song it was,” Al said, trying to save the phonograph’s life.

“It’s the one that makes him look all like he’s gonna fall asleep all droopy and he has this stupid grin on his face,” Ed growled, “it’s my favorite song, now play it!” he ordered the wooden box.

“Ed maybe you should have a little lie down,” his younger brother coaxed.

Ed whirled on him, scowling, then his look smoothed out.

“Ok!” he said.

Al helped him to the couch.

***

Just as Al was wondering where he should start to try and clean up the utter chaos Ed had made of the living room, the phone rang. Al wondered if he should pick it up, but then it rang again and again and Al couldn’t bear to hear anything cry out for long. So he cautiously picked up the receiver.

“Hello?” he said.

“Alphonse,” the Colonel said pleasantly on the other end, “how are you boys doing? I just finished up here and I’m going to be heading home soon. I thought I’d see what Ed wants from the deli.”

Al glanced over at the uniform laying on the couch with a lump in the middle.

“Ed’s in the bathroom,” Al said, “but I know he likes turkey and cheese,” Al said.

“Alright then, turkey and cheese it is, tell him I’ll be home in about 30 minutes,” the Colonel said.

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Al said, “uh… goodbye sir.”

Al hung up the phone and walked over to where the thing that was his brother (but was more like a pickle at the moment) lay.

“Brother?” Al said and gently shook the figure.

“Huhwhuzit?” Ed grumbled at him.

“You’re on your own,” Al said and then he turned, carefully navigated the phonograph land mines all over the floor and fled. He sincerely hoped he would see his sibling alive again, someday.

“’kay bye!” Ed called merrily when he heard the door open, then he sighed and closed his eyes again.

***

The sound that made Ed open his eyes again sounded like a paperback rustling when it hit the floor. Ed blinked as the standing lamp went on on the other side of the room. This was followed shortly by a crunching noise, and Ed couldn’t quite make out what that was, but he saw a figure looming just about a foot away from him and he blinked hard to try and bring it into focus.

  
Roy had stood a moment in shell shocked wonder at the destruction before him. The living room was littered with books, a over turned chess set, phonograph sleeves _(PHONOGRAPH SLEEVES!)_ and various odds and ends from all over the house. The coffee table was shoved to one side of the room and the floor rug was rolled up at one corner. What appeared to be his spare uniform was lying wadded up on the couch, so he crossed to the standing lamp and flicked it on. The uniform moaned and moved. He started toward it, felt his foot hit something and heard a distinct snap and crunch. He froze, but didn’t bother to look down.

The uniform shifted and sighed and then there was a flash of paleness above the collar and he could see eyes, blinking rapidly in the light. He took one more cautious step, and _then_ he looked down to make sure there were no more obstacles in his path. With fists clenched, he approached the couch slowly and leaned over the figure there.

Edward blinked up at him, lips and cheeks positively rosy. The boy had a rather unfocused look and he made a face, like he was trying to puzzle out who Roy was, but then his brows lifted, his eyes lit up and he smiled, two sleeve drenched arms raised toward him and the vision on the couch cooed. “You’re home!”

Roy almost forgot the wreckage that was his living room, _almost_.

Roy had no words. He merely stared at the boy who wiggled in delight with arms outstretched. He took another survey of the living room, eyes tripping over his bar and the many, many bottles set out on it’s counter.

 _He didn’t._

Roy looked back down at Ed who was wriggling all over the couch and trying to be enticing.

 _He did._

“Why wasn’t Al watching you,” Roy said plaintively, because that had been the sole intention of getting the younger boy over to occupy his brother, “I can’t believe this, Ed.” Roy reached down and caught Ed’s hands and winced a little when the automail clenched tightly.

“Al watched me,” Ed purred, “I did my Colonel Spanky impression,” Ed’s head lolled back.

“Oh god, you didn’t,” Roy groaned.

“He thought it was funny, I guess, I don’t remember,” Ed said, being generally boneless.

Roy hefted Ed up and didn’t so much as carry him as dragged him down the hall toward the bedroom. Once there, he struggled to get the flailing teen out of his uniform because Ed had become decidedly unhelpful.

“No, no,” Ed said, flailing his arms and trying to escape the Colonel’s grasp, “let’s play switch up, I’ll be you and you be me!” he said excitedly.

“I don’t want to be you right now,” the Colonel said, finally getting the uniform jacket off over his head, “You’re in a lot of trouble.”

“Am I?” Ed said dazedly, “oh, then I don’t want to be me right now either, I’ll be you, no I’ll be Al, everyone loves Al,” Ed slurred then burped.

Roy shoved him down on the bed and grabbed the uniform pants, but the fight had left Ed by then and he let Roy take them with no resistance. When Roy went to hang the uniform back up, trying not to step on the clothes scattered all over the floor, Ed managed to wiggle out of the boxers and shirt he’d had on underneath the uniform, then the turned onto his stomach and wiggled his butt in the air.

“Maybe I do wanna be in trouble,” he giggled, “then Colonel Spanky can come to visit.”

Roy turned to make a scathing remark, but instead looked at the butt being wiggled in his direction.

 _He’s drunk and he’s very, very relaxed._

Roy hung the uniform up then walked slowly over to the bed. Ed heard him coming, giggled some more and grabbed a pillow, stuffing it clumsily under his hips.

 _He’s so relaxed and now he’s horny._

Roy reached out slowly and ran his hand over Ed’s upturned ass and the boy moaned.

“I’ve been so naughty,” he crooned.

Roy ran his hand in slow circular motions and Ed groaned, humping against the pillow. Roy leaned forward slowly, bringing the hardening bulge in the front of his pants against Ed and Ed pushed back, sighing.

 _He said I could, he’s already given me permission,_

Roy glanced over to a decorative bottle on the bedside table, he had filled it with cooking oil because it looked better than the actual cooking oil vessel. It was tantalizingly in reach.

“Colonel,” Ed said breathlessly, arching his butt up to Roy’s touch.

Roy leaned over, got his hands on the bottle and opened it.

“Roy,” Ed moaned again and humped the pillow a couple of times hard.

Roy opened the bottle, dipped his fingers in then sat it down on the beside table, he kneaded Ed’s ass cheek for a moment, then slipped a finger in, no resistance at all. Ed threw his head back and sobbed and then he tightened and humped the pillow again.

 _He wants it._

The second finger joined the first and Roy moved them, scissoring them, stretching him. He pressed his thumb to the outside of the ring and Ed shuttered and sobbed and called his name. Roy’s other hand fumbled at the fasteners on the front of his uniform trousers.

 _He’s ready, he’s ready for it._

He drew himself out and withdrew his fingers. Ed howled in denial, but Roy got more oil, then returned his fingers to the boy, hushing his cries. The other hand stroked over his own erection slowly, he was hot and hard and throbbing, and he had been denied for too long. He leaned forward, once again withdrawing his fingers and nudging the ring with the head of his cock. Ed shook his head, thrust hard against the pillow under his hips and sobbed. Roy’s breathing became erratic he moved both hands to either side of Ed’s hips. The boy writhed and slammed his forehead against the bed. Roy’s fingers tightened, his chest heaved.

 _I can’t!_

But he was wound tight, he grit his teeth and pulled back, the head of his cock trailed down the cleft of Ed’s butt and he thrust between two warm thighs. Ed’s head popped up.

“Shut your legs, tight!” the Colonel ordered.

Even drunk, Ed seemed to catch his urgency and clamped his thighs shut. It was warm, it was soft, it wasn’t very tight, but it could be enough. Roy started to thrust. He dug his fingers into Ed’s hips and pressed them as if to close them harder. Ed squealed and wiggled, bumped his ass into Roy’s lower stomach and chewed on the bed sheets.

 _I’m only flesh, only a man. Please Ed, mercy, mercy._

The Colonel’s thoughts rolled, he thrust harder, heard the sound of flesh slapping flesh, his own balls striking the back of Ed’s thighs.

“Ah…AH,” Roy threw his head back, eyes shut tight.

 _I can make myself believe…_

Ed moaned loudly, unknowingly helping the Colonel along.

“Roy,” Ed called, always so much more powerful than ‘Colonel’, though in passion, both had their measures.

Roy pulled up on Ed’s hips, lifting them from the pillow. Ed yelled encouragement of the drunken nature, only vaguely aware of what he was doing.

 _It’s so… close… it’s so…_

Roy Mustang came between Edward Elric’s legs, perhaps not where he wanted to be, but for the first time ever anyway. He howled completion to the ceiling, his lungs burned and his legs trembled. He collapsed on Ed’s back and heard the boy whoof out a huge breath at the weight. Then he heard mumbles, both complaining and loving in their tone.

He hadn’t taken advantage of his lover.

He would be able to sleep tonight.

***

Ed was miserably sick, on his knees and pressing his face against cool porcelain. The Colonel, dressed for work, was leaning on the vanity and looking at him. Earlier, the Colonel had been holding back his hair while Ed heaved, but that was over it seemed, _(thank someone, but god was right out)_ and he’d stood back while Ed panted and whined and looked up at him blearily.

“I would say this is the only pleasure I’m getting out of this whole fiasco,” the Colonel said flatly, “but that would be cruel.”

“Uh,” Ed told him.

“And now I’m late for work, I’ll add that to your bill,” the Colonel said and pushed off the vanity.

“Uh,” Ed said, and tried to sound pitiful.

“You tell your brother I’ll have a talk with him too,” the Colonel leveled at the blonde before striding out of the bathroom, “And I expect you at the office,” he called back as Ed heard his footsteps fade down the hall.

Ed couldn’t recall most of last night. He recalled impressions and images, but no actual events, and when he woke to the marching band in his head and the Colonel’s cool, brisk tones, he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

***

After a bit, he managed a shower and felt somewhat more Ed-ish. He looked curiously at the pile of the Colonel’s clothes stacked on the chair in the corner of the bedroom, and wondered what they were all doing out instead of in the closet. He recognized his own blue shirt that Al had been nagging him about, plucked it out of the pile and shrugged it on. He pulled on the rest of his things, plucked up his black tank top and slung it over his shoulder. He walked down the hall braiding his hair back and stopped dead in the doorway to the living room.

The room was a disaster. His eyes tracked slowly from one side to the other, he took a cautious step in. The Colonel hadn’t had time last night to deal with both Ed and the mess, so it still sat in the pristine condition it had been left in. Ed felt his throat work, something on the floor attracted his attention.

The Colonel’s phonographs. They laid scattered about, some half way under the couch, others out in plain view, one crushed and broken near the end of the couch.

 _What did I do?_

He started to bend over and pick the broken one up, but he found he couldn’t touch it.

 _Be careful, don’t scratch it!_ A voice warned in his head.

 _No wonder… no wonder._

He dropped the black tank on the end of the couch. He would try to put as much right as he could, and he got to work cleaning.

***

When he did get into the office late that afternoon, he was met by a stiff and cold object pretending to be the Colonel. It demanded a debriefing, and it demanded a written report within a week like always, then it proceeded to ignore him, finding the work on it’s desk far more interesting than the dejected object standing in front of it. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Edward turned and left the office. He could go somewhere else and be miserable, he didn’t have to do it where that bastard could see him.

Al’s company, as comforting as it always was, didn’t lessen his guilt either. It wasn’t right to hear his younger brother stammer excuses for his own behavior, so despite the good intentions his younger sibling meant, it fell on ears turned inwards to his own guilty thoughts.

“I have to go for a walk,” Ed told Al, “and think about things.”

Al had started to apologize again. He had been apologizing since Ed walked in the door.

“No,” Ed said, “you aren’t responsible for my bad judgment and you are not responsible for my actions, I’ll have to work this one out on my own,” it felt uncomfortable to say that, to the person who’d always shared the burden before.

“I understand,” Al said, “what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Ed said, heading for the door, “grovel if I have to, it’s the least I owe him.”

“Good luck,” his brother said and Ed went out the door.

***

 _Fuck. Up. What was I thinking, what was I doing? I will NEVER drink again, never, I am broken of that future bad habit, nothing or no one will ever convince me that it isn’t anything but a waste of time and stomach contents._

He barely looked up at his surrounding, hands in pockets and head down.

 _I can’t believe I did that to his phonograph discs, he’s never going to forgive me. Ah Al, what am I going to do?_

He looked up at the shops as he walked by, hoping for inspiration.

 _Like I can buy my way back in to his good graces, he’d never go for that. Who am I kidding? If I were him, I’d be tired of this by now._

He shifted, uncomfortable with that thought.

 _Maybe he is._

His fingers worked over his pocket watch.

 _A half-machined freak, an eating machine, short tempered and confrontational, insubordinate…_ Ed rolled his eyes, _and I can’t… can’t swallow…_

He shuddered and hunched his shoulders up and made a face.

 _Well, that’s hardly my fault. It’s gross and it makes me want to gag. I better stop thinking about it._

He studiously ignored the stares from passersby as he stuck his tongue out and make hacking noises.

 _I don’t care if he does, it’s not rude not to, I don’t care what that book of Al’s had said._

 _Al sure has a lot of books on the subject._

A pretzel vendor ahead huddled under the large umbrella of his stand as if afraid to be touched by the sun. Ed slowed a bit, eyed it. The man stationed behind it grinned at him, wrapped a napkin around one of his wares and held it up, turning it this way and that. Ed sucked his lower lip and the man picked up a yellow container that Ed knew was mustard. He had the mustard lovingly bump up against the pretzel. Ed stopped and his eyes glazed a moment. He compared the pretzel to the tall lanky Colonel and the mustard to the… other alchemist. He marched over and bought the damn thing, slathered it with mustard and stalked off, eating it. Damn vendors, damn seductive food, damn hard-on.

After a lemonade to wash down the pretzel and an ice cream to get rid of the slightly bitter bite of the lemonade, he lingered at a newsstand, flipping through a few magazines and reading the comics.

 _I am who I am, I can’t help it. It’s not like he didn’t know it when he decided he liked me. I wonder why he decided he liked me, he always liked girls before, I should ask him. No, maybe that’s pushy, I shouldn’t ask him. He better not say it’s because I look like some damn girl!_

He abandoned the newsstand and crossed the street to the other side of the mezzanine; there were some gift shops there. Maybe he couldn’t buy his forgiveness, but it never hurt to try to suck up a bit before actually begging for forgiveness.

His pace slowed at one particular shop, there was a phonograph in the window. He lingered in the doorway for a moment, then went in.

 _Or maybe I can, I know there is something he wants from me._

Ed shuffled awkwardly in front of a disc display, clueless as far as the selection went. A shop clerk came over with a polite smile and bent down to talk to him, he tightened his jaw and kept from snarling at the woman, he did need her help, she could tell him what to get.

***  
Alphonse Elric answered the door of his dorm room and was summoned to the phone in the commons area. It must be Ed, calling to sigh heavily some more. He picked up the receiver and put it to where his ear would have been, had he had them. n reality he found he really didn’t miss his all that much, he always thought they stuck out too far.

“Hello?” he said.

“Alphonse,” the Colonel said pleasantly.

Ambushed.

“Good afternoon Colonel Mustang, sir,” Al returned politely.

“Good afternoon, I wanted to give you a call about yesterday,” the Colonel said.

Al wondered if he could play dumb. It always worked well for Ed, but it never seemed to work well for him. He would try and people would make tsking noises at him or give him ‘looks’ and then felt guilty. He thought it a little unfair that Ed could play dumb and get away with and he couldn’t, but then people yelled at Ed a lot more, and threw things at him sometimes. Better to take his medicine.

“I tried to stop him I really did,” Al rushed out, “but he wouldn’t listen! He got all liquored up and went on a rampage,” the younger Elric cried into the phone, “and he’s little and hard to catch and before I knew it, he was in the uniform! I tried to tell him, ‘That’s the Colonel’s spare uniform’, but he said that you let him wear it, I think he was fibbing, but I can’t say that to my own brother, it’s really rude! What could I do? You have never said to me, ‘Alphonse, don’t let Ed wear my spare uniforms’, so I couldn’t even make an educated guess, and then he told me that you were going to donate all those phonographs to charity anyway, which I must say is very nice of you because needy people need entertainment too, and when you called, he was already asleep on the couch and he looked so cute in your uniform, I was afraid if I woke him up he’d rampage some more! Then after you hung up I remembered that I had left a book lying face down on the table open, and that’s really bad for its spine so I had to go.”

The Colonel made a choked sound.

“Colonel, are you ok?” Al asked in concerned tones.

“I’m fine,” the Colonel wheezed and made several other stifled sounds. “thank you, Alphonse. I’ll speak to you later.”

“No sir, thank you, I know my brother is hard to deal with sometimes, but he’s got a good heart, and…” Al looked around to make sure he was alone in the common room, “he really likes you,” Al confided in the Colonel.

“I really like him too,” the Colonel returned, “and I’ll continue to like him after I wring his neck.”

“A lot of people say that,” Al said.

“Have a good afternoon, Alphonse,” the Colonel said.

“And you too sir,” Al replied and then hung up.

Alphonse Elric felt bad for offering his elder brother up on a platter, but he’d panicked. He knew Ed would understand, he hoped Ed would understand. He hoped the Colonel wouldn’t tell Ed.

***

He stood out on the curb. He could see the living room light was on, it had been on for a while, but the package under his arm didn’t make him any braver. He took a deep breath, walked up the walk, _(wondered briefly if he would have to run for his life down it again)_ knocked on the door and waited.

The Colonel opened the door, gave him the once over but said nothing, then stepped by to let him in. Ed walked in and turned to look at him, but there was no falling into his arms trustingly tonight. The Colonel still resembled a Colonel shaped block of ice. That couldn’t faze him, he deserved it after all. He stood, chewing his lip. The Colonel said nothing, shut the door, walked past him into the living room and returned to his book and his chair and his glass of scotch.

Ed hovered in the living room doorway as if it were a wall of indecision. He had wanted the Colonel to speak first, but the Colonel wasn’t going to make this easy on him, and he shouldn’t. In a way, Ed had broken his trust and Ed had wrecked a good memory they shared together, a memory in the shape of a phonograph disc. He was ashamed of his hesitation and he stepped into the room, walked resolutely to the Colonel’s chair, took the package from beneath his arm and offered it to the Colonel.

“I don’t know if you’ll like these,” Ed said quietly, “I wasn’t even sure what to get, but the lady in the shop remembered you and she said that you might like these.”

The Colonel sat for a moment, looked at the proffered package and then at the boy’s face. It was a moment longer before he raised his hand and took the package, setting his book aside and unfolding the paper wrappings in his lap. He shuffled through the three discs a couple of times, pausing to read something on the covers, then nodded his head.

“Thank you,” he said, as if Ed had just handed in his written report, then the Colonel stood and placed them into the wooden rack, along with the others.

“I want to replace the one I broke,” Ed muttered, “I would try alchemy, but I’m not sure I can get the grooves right. I’ll try, if you want me to,” he bit his lip.

The Colonel took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He took a step forward and put his arm around Ed’s shoulders, drawing him against his chest.

Ed wilted there and closed his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, “I don’t know why I act like I do sometimes, and I just keep doing things to you I have to apologize for. You must be so tired of it by now, I know I would be,” and he waited.

The Colonel kissed the top of his head.

“I was young once too Ed, and I have to take that into account when dealing with you,” he said, Ed stiffened up to protest but the Colonel cut him short with a shushing sound, “Suck it up Edward, you’re only 15, there are just different rules. It might make you mad, you might not like it, but that’s how it is. Being 15 and being a _mature_ 15 is realizing there is a difference.”

Ed didn’t like it, it did make him mad, but he wasn’t about to argue the point, not now when the Colonel was accepting his apology and kissing the top of his head.

“Can I stay over then?” Ed asked.

“Please do,” the Colonel said, “I’d like to do more than hold you while you sleep or hold your hair while you’re sick, I haven’t seen you for almost two weeks, you know. Your boyfriend had needs,” he teased.

Ed pressed against him tighter.

“Good,” he whispered, “because your boyfriend has needs, too.”

***

They were both panting heavily and grinning at each other like fools.

“That was great,” Ed husked out, “why didn’t we think of that before?”

“I don’t know, I got all inspired for some reason,” the Colonel said, they both looked toward the dresser where the phonograph had finally wound down.

“I wonder,” Ed said, stretching in sated delight, “if other people make love to music,” he looped an arm over Roy’s hip and tried to pull him close.

“I don’t know,” the Colonel said, letting Ed tug him closer, “but tomorrow night? Side two.”

“I never knew I’d be such a fan of opera,” Ed said.


	14. Chapter 14

In the spring, the land abounds with courtships of many things.

He stands alone, shaking like a leaf. He knew the day would come, for most certainly it had to, but he hadn’t though it would come so quickly.

The teenagers regard each other much like rivals, but wanting to be predator and prey. The girl, for all her youth, is already a master. She tosses her long, light brown hair and glances away, feigning boredom; the boy adopts a defense of casualness and shoves his hands in his pockets, also turning his gaze away at something supposedly more interesting.

They don’t speak for several moments, then she offers a gesture, the boy shrugs, afraid yet to release the shield he so carefully erected. She senses his hesitation and seems to ponder the moment, lacing her fingers behind her, letting her budding bosom persuade him. He doesn’t want to look, but he does and turns his face away quickly, making a noncommittal statement and taking half a step closer. The girl turns her face away again, smiling at her web-weaving abilities and takes half a step away to see if he will follow.

The boy is brilliant, but easily led by his instincts; he is fighting his intrigue, but doing it very poorly. The girl tightens the noose with a flirtatious giggle which she tries to hide with her hand, but it is only a ruse. The boy’s shoulders relax and he pulls one hand out of his pocket, rubs his nose and looks toward her, signifying his guarded acceptance. When she walks away, he follows cautiously.

For a few moments, the Colonel can only breathe. He watches Ed follow a teenage girl toward an attraction at the little fair set up in the park across the street from his apartment.

 _You’re the one who has awakened this in him._ The older man tells himself. He hears the clank of armor and half turns his head.

“Where did brother go,” another voice asked, robed in hollow vibration.

“I think he made a new friend,” the Colonel smiles and points, “why don’t you go catch up to them.”

“Ed made a friend,” Al says in wonder. The Colonel is taken aback for a moment and it saddens him a great deal, “it’s not like him to be friendly, ah, that didn’t come out right,” Al finished.

“I know what you mean,” the Colonel says and smiles, “if you keep standing here, you’ll lose them in the crowd,” he encourages the younger boy.

“Right,” Al says and heads down the mezzanine, insusceptible to the stares around him, deaf to the comments of the questionability of wearing armor in the new heat of the season.

It is the gift of youth to have this ability to adapt so easily, to take lessons from the things and people around them and apply them hesitantly, to see if they really work.

Loving Ed has given him confidence in areas where he was lacking it, and Roy should be proud that Ed was applying his new-found abilities with the practiced ease expected of a prodigy.

So why did it feel like his heart was cracking wide in his chest?

  
***

When you get older, you learn to cope with problems. It was not a problem that shouldn’t plague him; it is only order out of chaos. Patterns are repeated and this is how life continues, it’s a natural cycle that has been proven with the test of time. He finds a bench alone, so he decides to occupy it. He has brought along a book, knowing the young would be likely to wander more than he cared to keep up. They will find him when they needed him; he fingers the paperback’s worn edges.

He turns his eyes to the pages, but the words don’t hold like they ought to. He wants to distract his mind from the feelings, but he knows his mind will always defy him. It’s not that it’s a bad thing, its defiance in the past had saved him many problems, its ability to ignore his feelings is often something he should thank it for regularly, but his heart is too involved this time and his emotions cower before its might. Brooding is an indulgence of the aged, and he is more likened to them than the youth he surrounds his life with, so he surrenders gracefully and let’s the book lie lax in his fingers, his mind turned to speculation as heart turned to hide.

  
He lets his mind ponder a possible future; still a part, but never the whole again. It’s a disturbing proposition, but he won’t let it put him off of what must be done. First loves are rarely last loves; even second or third attempts can fall by the wayside. Will he still open the door on those nights when the knock sounds desperate? Will he let a boy consume him and leave him wanting in a wake of his own making?

Yes, of course.

Love should have no restriction. With restrictions it isn’t lasting, and he wants it to be lasting, even if he isn’t the focus of its affections. There will still be something there in the boy’s chest for him, he hopes it isn’t wishful thinking, and he hopes he doesn’t make it sound as pitiful as he supposes.

To have something is better than nothing, that’s what they’ve always told him. He does believe them, because he’s learning a lesson here too, and as much as he might not like it, he is the one who needs it, because to love such an ethereal being is risk worth the taking.

He does love him, he loves him very much, and because he does he’ll cope, that’s what adults do.

Maybe the boy will see it someday when he’s older and he’ll think back about what he must have done to the person he so relies on. These very thoughts often plague the Colonel when he thinks back to his own youth, but like it will be, as it was then, there will be nothing he can do about it.

So the cycle goes, order from the chaos. The Colonel lifts his book again and tries to read the words.

***

The boys found him later and they both looked happy. Ed had an apple hanging out of his mouth. _At the age to be always hungry…_ Al was decorated with a balloon and some colorful streamers tied to the spikes on his shoulders. Ed plopped down beside him, perhaps a little closer than he should have in public, and laid his hand over the Colonel’s where it lay on the wooden bench. His gold eyes sought dark ones and Roy stared at them because they spoke to him this time, telling him that Ed was happy, relaxed and glad to see him, and the Colonel’s admonishment of the display of affection in such an open arena died on his lips. He glanced up to see Al planted firmly in front of them, as if to shield this moment of intimacy from the rest of the world. Roy found that lately, the younger Elric was making a place beside his brother in his heart, because to love Ed was to love Al, for they were both parts of one whole that made them who they are, and each would not be one without the other. Who was Roy to resist it? The touch left as Ed scooted away to allow for propriety. Al moved too and sat at the very end of the bench, scooted up against his brother.

Roy tucked the book back in his pocket, folded his hands in his lap and looked at them.

“Who was your friend,” he asked.

Ed had a mouth full of apple.

“Her name is Millicent,” Al said excitedly, “she’s going to be going to finishing school here in East City,” he went on, “her father is stationed in the west, Colonel Riverside.”

“Colonel Riverside,” Roy said, putting his fingers to his chin and tilting his head back, “I know him, we met in Central a couple of years ago, he’s a good sort, this must be his oldest daughter.”

Ed continued on with his apple.

“She was really nice,” Al went on, “she was impressed with brother when she found out he was the FullMetal Alchemist.”

Roy looked at Ed who shrugged, not giving the apple any peace.

“We are going to meet her sometime next week and show her around,” Al said, “she’s never been here before.”

“That was very generous of the two of you,” the Colonel said and looked away.

“It was brother’s idea,” Al said, “I was going to suggest it but he beat me to it.”

The Colonel stood and stretched, and looked back over at them.

“I think I’ll head in now, when you guys are done you can come over,” he said.

Ed stood too, tossed the apple core over his shoulder and looked at Al.

“I want to see some more of the exhibits,” Al said, “and maybe Millicent is still around.”

Ed patted his arm.

“See you at the dorms later?” Ed said.

“Sure,” Al said, “have a good time,” and the armor set off, balloon fluttering merrily behind it and streamers curling down it’s back.

Roy headed for home, Ed trailing behind him.

***

His inner thigh muscle jumped, and he sucked in a breath. The tongue trailing over it paused as if to savor the reaction, then continued on its way. A hand slid over the back of his shin and lifted his leg, the tongue made a wet swipe of the back of his knee.

“You taste good,” Ed murmured.

Roy answered with a rumble and closed his eyes as the tongue began its journey down the rest of his leg.

***

He’d resisted at first after coming into the house, though he wasn’t sure why. He returned the kiss Ed had initiated in the living room, but then moved away, picking up a book that was left on the coffee table and returning it to the shelf. Ed had watched him, a little puzzled and unsure what that was about, then seemed to sort over things in his mind. He reached back and unplaited his braid, let his hair fall over his shoulders and then had _stalked_ him. He crowded him up against the bookcase and pulled down on his shoulders to kiss him again and Roy’s heart picked up double time. He had rested his hands back against the shelves instead of on the boy in front of him, intrigued by this more aggressive Ed.

This seemed to aggravate the boy, who kissed him harder and pushed insistently against Roy’s legs with his automail knee until Roy had opened them, so Ed could lean into him, thrusting with his tongue into Roy’s mouth and the front of his thigh into Roy’s crotch.

He was intoxicated like no alcohol could ever make him. Ed seemed to respond, dragging, pulling, mouth demanding. Roy heard buttons pop and strike the floor when Ed opened his shirt and he felt the bite of metal fingers on his hip when Ed gripped him there, pulling him forward. Then the delicious bump and grind had begun. Ed loved to dry hump. Roy wasn’t sure why, but Ed was like a perpetual motion machine in that department, rubbing himself against Roy at any given opportunity he thought he could get away with, and now was no exception. Roy felt the boy harden against his thigh and heard Ed moan into his mouth. He released the bookcase finally and wrapped his arms around Ed, which just made Ed grind harder, faster.

The bedroom was miles away and the trip was grueling. Ed snarled and shoved him into the wall in the hall and his mouth clamped over a nipple, tongue lashing. Then he was sucking, his flesh hand found Roy’s offering between his legs and rubbed him hard through the fabric. Roy choked out Ed’s name, head tilting back and striking the wall with a dull thud. He was trapped and helpless for a few moments until the blonde released him from his mouth and hand, grabbing his arm and pulling him down the hall again.

Roy had never been naked first, but the moment they hit the bedroom, Ed attacked his remaining clothing. Roy rushed to obey, fearing the boy would rip and rend. He ended up standing naked before a fully clothed Ed and feeling… vulnerable. Ed shrugged off his jacket and pulled off his tank top. He shook his head after, and made his blonde mane fly out, tumbling down his back. Roy reached to help him, reaching for his belt, but Ed slapped his hands away and pointed at the bed. Instead of feeling amused, Roy felt anxious as he edged around the boy and found himself crawling onto the bed. He watched Ed undress in jerky, rushed movements, eyes lingering on the boy’s turgid cock when he freed it. Then watched as Ed strode toward him and Roy felt himself scrabble back against the pillows, soon Ed was on the bed, between his legs and pushing them apart.

He was terrified and he didn’t know why. Ed dragged his hands up Roy’s thighs, leaned over and mouthed the head of an erection that Roy was surprised to find he had. It was sheer aggression, and there was no time for romance. Roy let out a half startled shout when Ed caught the head in his mouth and gave it a firm suck, Ed merely grinned wickedly and slid his mouth down Roy’s length, wrapping flesh digits around the base and applying pressure with his tongue, pushing Roy into the roof of his mouth. The automail hand pressed on Roy’s left knee, forcing his legs wider and Ed grunted and pressed Roy’s cock further into his throat than he ever had before. Roy’s breathing was in quick panicked pants through his nose, he was positive his nails were digging through the mattress and his wide eyes were fixed on a blonde head between his legs. He felt helpless, his throat was tight and his chest was tighter, his stomach rolled.

Ed worked him mercilessly with his tongue and the faint scraping of teeth, his fingers began to move up and his mouth moved down, slamming into the boy’s own lips with each bob of his head. The ache was becoming unbearable and Roy arched involuntarily but Ed handled it with ease, sensing Roy’s response and moving with his lift of the hips so not to become gagged. When the light collided with sound in Roy’s brain and he offered his throat to the ceiling, shaking and drenched in sweat of the actions, just as he reached the pinnacle, Ed released him, but held the base and squeezed tight.

He wailed and thrashed and jerked his chin down and met a pair of evil golden eyes, staring at him from the valley between his legs. The boy smiled slowly, nosing his cock and letting it rest against his cheek.

“Talk to me,” the thing between his legs husked, “I want to hear you say something.”

“Please!” the Colonel gasped, stomach muscles jumping, legs trembling.

“Oh, you can do better than that,” his tormentor said.

“I need it, please!” the Colonel begged.

“You’re really boring me here,” the master of torture said and cool metal fingers idly fingered tight, hot balls between Roy’s legs.

“What do you want me to say!” the Colonel shrieked.

“Say something you think I’d like to hear,” came the voice, low and devilish, amused and yet not, “something to please me.”

“You’re getting really good at this,” the Colonel whimpered, “I think you should do it more often!”

This earned him a snort, but no suction.

“I love your hair!” the Colonel tried.

“Why thank you,” came the impish chuckle.

“Dammit, Ed…” Roy started.

“NO,” came the raw threat, then a tongue up the length of Roy’s erection, a tightening around the base of his cock and a tone that made Roy’s voice stick in his throat.

“You know what I want to hear,” Gold eyes met his in challenge, hard like amber and liquid like scotch.

“I love you,” Roy said raggedly defeated, “I love you.”

Ed fell to ravenous sucking.

  
***

Roy had a hand over his face, trying to control his breathing.

The boy had even swallowed.

He’d sat between Roy’s legs, shaking hard at the end as Roy struggled for breath and feared Ed might get sick all over him, but Ed had conquered, as he always did. He leaned over and licked the long crease of where Roy’s thigh met his hip and he began to crawl up his body, dropping kisses as he went. Roy had covered his face, afraid that tears were welling there. His own chest still heaved, the release had been devastating, ripping into being and forcing a scream from his throat. Now Ed was settling over him, kissing up his neck, over his chin and along his jaw. A tongue lapped at his earlobe and lips closed over it as Ed settled, his need to suckle something obviously not abated just because Roy had come. Roy hazarded running his hand up the boy’s back and he realized Ed must have come with him, because the boy’s cock was soft now, pressed into his side. When Roy stroked his back, he wiggled in adorable Ed-sated fashion and sucked on his earlobe faster.

Roy didn’t know whether he wanted to cheer or cry.

He was a possession, utterly and completely owned.

***

The office was cheerful chaos.

“You were supposed to file this already,” Havoc said waving a paper.

“It’s not my job to file those papers,” Fuery defended, waving his own paper, “it’s my job to file these papers!” he cried.

“I don’t file papers!” Breda added to not feel left out.

Falman said nothing, because Falman had the day off.

Sharp clicks of boot heels cut off all paper waving activities.

“What seems to be the problem,” the First Lieutenant asked.

Havoc and Fuery pointed at each other, and Breda used both hands to point at both of them.

“This is late! Fuery didn’t file it,” Havoc cried.

“I don’t file those papers,” Fuery cried out again, “I file these papers!” but he didn’t wave them in demonstration because the First Lieutenant would make the little mouth motion that meant she was displeased.

“I don’t file things,” Breda supplied helpfully, “but I watch them file things, sometimes.”

The First Lieutenant slowly turned her eyes on the Colonel and the Colonel’s own eyes got wide.

“I… uh… have you file things for me?” he said, hoping he wasn’t in trouble, but knew somehow he was.

He swallowed and the First Lieutenant slowly turned toward him. At the big table, Havoc and Fuery had grabbed each other, and Breda was saluting him and sinking below the table.

“YOU BASTARD!” The sound came flying through the door and blew some papers off his desk.

  
“Major Elric,” the Colonel half yelped, glanced at the First Lieutenant and shrugged. He’d have to remember to get Ed some chocolate and comics, and maybe some ice cream and whatever else he wanted, because he had just saved his life.

Ed came charging in, got to his desk, did a half jump and slammed a folder onto it as he came down. Al clanked in behind him, leather hands balled into fists and pressed to the jagged joint line on his helmet that served as his ‘mouth’.

“You denied my expense reports last month,” Ed screeched and flailed, “on top of wanting me to risk my neck for every damn goose chase you send me on, you want me to do it as a penniless pauper too,” Ed wind milled around in front of the desk, “you treat me like your own gawddamn personal delivery boy! You set me up, you trip me, and then you laugh when I’m on the way down! Now you want me to foot the bill for your ego trips as well and take food out of my little brother’s mouth…” Ed was scarlet.

“Al doesn’t ea…” the Colonel started.

“How am I, a STATE CERTIFIED ALCHEMIST, supposed to work under these conditions! There are laws! Laws to protect me from people like you! I’ll find them, hell I’ll write the bill, I’ll introduce it into parliament, I’ll lobby the gawddamn thing and push it through the representatives, because I’m that damn persuasive, and then, then you unholy BASTARD, you’ll be SORRY!” and Ed stopped to pant.

“I don’t think the taxpayers need to support your junk food habits,” the Colonel said calmly, “and you aren’t very descriptive with some of your expenditures. ‘That thing I broke that made that guy mad’ is not how one requests the state to bail your ass out.”

Ed gnashed his teeth, then drummed his hands on the desk making everything jump entertainingly.

“I broke it in a course of a mission, I was running for my LIFE,” Ed hissed out and meet dark eyes in challenge.

“What was it then?” the Colonel asked.

“A thing,” Ed said with a wild gesture, “Something, this guy got all bent out of shape over it,” Ed said.

The Colonel seemed to mull that over, he clicked and unclicked a fancy silver pen he hand in one hand.

“What did the thing look like?” he asked.

Ed stopped, put a hand on his hip and waved the other around in front of him.

“I don’t know, it was all a blur,” he said, “it was big and brrrr… brown.”

“Big and brown,” the Colonel said.

“And it sort of… mooed,” Ed said.

“It mooed?” the Colonel tilted his head.

“It was kind of like a cow,” Ed said.

“You broke a cow,” the Colonel stated.

“It was really lousy cover,” Ed concluded.

“Poor cow,” Al said behind him.

The Colonel propped his chin in his hand and clicked the pen some more.

“I don’t think the state need aught pay for your steak dinners,” the Colonel concluded.

Ed did an entertaining dance of rage and flailed about some more, pointing and snarling. He grabbed his folder and slapped it on the desk a few more times, then turned and saw the threesome at the big table staring at him.

“A cow,” Havoc said.

“Major, how could you?” Fuery sighed.

“I like steak,” Breda said.

Ed made a threatening step in their direction and they all cringed.

“Major, while I appreciate your frustration with this current situation, the Colonel is only stating state policy,” the First Lieutenant told him.

Ed didn’t glare at her. Frankly, she scared him.

“Perhaps you’d like to write up a formal complaint? We have forms you can fill out,” she continued.

“No thank you,” Ed said, summoning up all the dignity he could. He marched almost to the door before he broke and tore out of it like a demon on wheels.

“Ah,” the Colonel said, “sorry about that Alphonse.”

“No it’s ok,” Al said, “but I think I better go catch him before he chews up some scenery,” and he dutifully trotted away and out the door to chase down his brother.

The Colonel and the threesome at the table looked at each other.

“COW!” they all roared together and started to laugh.

The First Lieutenant heaved a little sigh and decided that she should leave them to their own devices for a bit and let them calm down before trying to make something out of nothing once again.

When the day drew to a close and everyone rushed to get out the door, Second Lieutenant Havoc hung back just a little and sidled closer to the Colonel. He checked once, then twice, to make sure they were a suitable distant from the others and he leaned close, covering the side of his mouth with his hand.

“That must be fun in bed,” he joked quietly.

The Colonel looked at him surprised, then gratified.

“You have no idea,” he said and grinned.

Havoc winked at him and left the office.

***

When the Colonel got home that night, there was a note jammed into the door, he pulled it out and opened it up.

 _Rain check,_ it read, _won’t be over tonight. No, it’s not about the COW and thank you so much for making me tell that embarrassing story in front of the assembled masses, they will torture me with it, but I have ammo (you don’t know what, so you’ll have to sweat it out), I’ll try to be over tomorrow night early to make it up to you._

 _Ed_

Roy turned a little circle on his stoop, he physically turned a circle in confusion.

Ed wasn’t coming over tonight? But it was Wednesday! He was allowed to come over every night of the week!

At a loss, the Colonel fumbled the key and got himself inside, still studying the note. There seemed to be no hidden meaning, no subtext he could find. Ed was not coming over.

The Colonel made as if to show the note to someone standing there. “He’s not coming over,” the Colonel said out loud, “what does he mean? He always comes over, what am I suppose to do?” Roy lifted his arms and let them flap down to his sides. He actually stood at loss in his own foyer for a few moments.

“I know,” he said again to his invisible companion, “I’ll go out! Yes, I’ll go out. I used to go out all the time, there’s a café on the south end of the park with live music and good food, and I’ll have dinner there and something to drink and listen to the band, that’s a splendid idea!”

The Colonel went to freshen up; he didn’t want to look good, he wanted to look _damn fine_. He hadn’t been out in a while; he needed to make people remember it was a privilege for him to be seen among them. He decided to grace the public with his uniform; it always got him the most attention, the best tables and the prettiest waitresses. So after an appropriate primping, he left his apartment and strolled down the street. He waved off a playful salute to some children who saluted him back, playing in the park. He was aware of a gawky teenage girl following him for a bit and he saluted her too before crossing the street near the south of the park. He read menu boards and nodded at passersby who admired his uniform and contemplated if Ed would appreciate trout almondine as much as he did, he could always eat here and drink at the café with the live music.

But wait, Ed wasn’t with him, so it hardly mattered. But maybe he should wait for Ed to be with him so Ed could try trout almondine, because the Colonel was sure he’d love it. But that was silly; he could always bring Ed back later and have trout almondine again, while Ed had it for the first time... but that wouldn’t be as pleasurable for some reason. Roy’s eyes widened and he put a hand to his chin. The epitome of bachelorhood was having a couple’s crisis. Ed had broken him. It had finally happened; he cared about stupid shit like sharing the fist experience of trout almondine with his lover. Roy wavered on indecision that made his vision swim, until a smiling, dark-haired waitress winked at him and nodded at an empty side walk table. Trout almondine it was.

***

“We always end up at the park,” Al said and laughed, tinny and cheery, striding along beside Millicent as Ed lagged behind.

They’d made a circuit of the block on the other side of the park, not as brightly lit and occupied, but Milly, as Al called her, had wanted to see it. In fact, anything Milly suggested, Al charged off to do, every now and again looking behind him to make sure Ed was following.

“He’s dragging his feet again,” she said, looking back towards Ed, “I thought he wanted to come,” she asked his brother.

“He said he did,” Al stated, “but you know he’s a state alchemist and he has a lot on his mind,” he said in Ed’s defense.

“You’re probably right,” the girl said, then with a shy smile she slipped her arm over Al’s large metal one, “where should we go next?” she asked.

Al gave a tiny rattle of pleasure. She was so nice, so kind and so pretty. She had big hazel eyes and some freckles dusted faintly over her nose, she laughed so easily and smiled even easier. They both liked the same authors, she knew who the Duke was and they had engaged in a deep discussion of his latest ventures. Ed had sighed and hemmed and hawed and poked along behind them the entire time. Al found himself wishing Ed had just gone to the Colonel’s, but then again, Al had asked him to come along.

“There’s a man up the block who makes jewelry with alchemy,” Al said, “some of his designs are really fascinating.”

“Oooo,” she said appreciatively, “let’s go there!”

Al nodded and lead the way, Milly hanging onto his arm. If he could feel it, he would have felt warm and fluttery, but he couldn’t, so he could just imagine he did.

They passed several café’s at the end of the park. He was bored, he was so bored. All Al and that girl talked about was books Ed hadn’t read and things Ed didn’t care about. He missed the Colonel, and it was hot out, and he had to wear his jacket and gloves _(well he didn’t have to, but he had to. He knew what he meant)_ and he’d seen all this same junk a million times before.

He glanced over at the cafés as they passed them, not really taking in any details, eyes skimming the mill of people and lights. A flash of blue caught his eye, familiar in color and shade, and he looked a little more closely. A woman, a waitress by the tray she had held casually to her side, was blocking most of the view, but the crossed legs and black boots and butt skirt of the uniform stood out, seated on the chair.

“I’ll get him,” Milly said and released Al’s arm, turning back and heading for Al’s brother who seemed to be staring into one of the cafés. She came right up to him but he didn’t seem to notice, so she grabbed him by the arm, noticing the same hardness she felt when she put her hand on Al. He started and turned, looking at her with his big cat-yellow eyes.

“Come on, Ed,” she said, “you’re such a slow poke.”

The waitress was cute, but she wasn’t blonde, her eyes weren’t golden and she wasn’t a petulant teenage boy glaring at him from across a desk. He flirted because it was expected, but then cut it off abruptly asking for his check. She seemed disappointed, nodding and moving away, clearing his view of the sidewalk. There was Ed. A teenage girl was wrapped around his arm and he was stammering as she tugged. The boy’s head swung back around, eyes widened as they met his lovers, but he let himself be pulled away, looking back once quickly, before hurrying ahead.

Al stood with his hands on his hips as Milly delivered his wayward brother to his side.

“You know you didn’t have to come along,” Al scolded.

Ed gaped and pulled himself free of Milly who let him go just as quickly.

He started to give his own scalding reply, but Milly had put her hand on Al’s arm again and Al was looking at her. The Colonel was being charming to a waitress in a café behind them, and he shoved his hands in his pockets and snorted.

“Sorry,” he growled, “just got a lot on my mind.”

“Well try to cheer up,” Al said, “you’re being a downer.”

“Yeah,” Milly supplied, “Al and I are out to have fun.”

Ed kept his mouth shut and plodded at their side, wishing he was sitting in a café with the Colonel.

 _The bastard went out without me, and he was flirting! See if I go over there anytime soon!_

But what was the Colonel suppose to do? Sit at home and pine while Ed was out with his brother?

 _Hell yes._

Ed sighed. _Fuck no._

It still stung him and the bastard would hear about it, because Ed would have to go over there and tell him.

 _But I’m sleeping on the couch._

***

The Colonel thought of nothing, merely lifted his glass to his lips and tossed back the rest of his drink. He stood, left money on the table, wound around the other patrons making their way into the café and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He hesitated a few moments, trying to decide what to do next but he knew it even before he turned in the direction for home.

She was really cute and Ed must really like her to let her hang on him like that.

He got home and didn’t linger to do anything, he went to bed alone and thought it was good practice.

***

Ed began to realize, as Milly and Al sat side by side on a bench, Milly with an ice cream, Al with his good manners, that something was happening.

At first it was fluttery and wonderful, but then it was abruptly sad and painful.

Al couldn’t _like_ a girl.

He couldn’t.

It wasn’t because Al wasn’t a nice person, he was the BEST person and he deserved to be liked by everyone who met him, there was no one better in the whole of this world than Alphonse Elric, and Edward Elric would scream that from the rooftops of any place they ever went to, without hesitation, if only to make the people there know what a shining example of humanity they had walking among them.

He was a shining example, literally.

He was a _suit of armor._

And he, his loving brother, had put him there.

He couldn’t like Milly, because she might _find out._

She might tell someone.

Then Edward Elric would die and take half of the goddamn Amestris army with him before they took his brother away from him.

He turned away from them quickly and struggled to control his breathing. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t _equivalent_. It wasn’t right for him to have what his brother couldn’t. He looked up and down the street, not knowing what it was he was looking for, and then he heard Al call his name and it didn’t matter. He turned around, put on the grin that always hid his tears and walked over to the others and sat down on the bench.

***

He sat on his bed hugging a pillow, watching his brother thumb through a few books on the table, trying to decide what he was going to read next.

“Hey Al,” he said quietly.

“Hmmm,” his younger brother answered.

“We have to talk,” Ed said, not wanting to talk. He’d rather run from this and hide and never have this talk. His stomach rolled and he swallowed hard.

“About what?” Al said.

“That girl Milly,” Ed said dully, staring at the floor.

“Yeah, she’s really nice,” Al said, “I had a good time this evening.” He didn’t look at his brother, he arranged the books on the table.

“You like her, huh?” Ed said quietly.

Al nodded. “Sure, I thought you did too.”

“I did,” Ed said, “she is nice, she was really nice to you.”

“Tell me what you really want to say brother,” Al said, still not looking at him.

Ed struggled with his voice and his tears.

“You… you know you can’t _like_ her Al, because… because of, what we are,” he stuttered.

Al said nothing.

“I would give anything,” Ed whispered, “anything to switch places with you. You don’t deserve this. Just because you loved mom, we shouldn’t have had to pay what we did, what YOU did, it should have been me and we both know it. I want you to have all these things, and I want you to like that girl and her to like you back,” Ed wiped savagely at his face, “but all I’m good for is making apologies. I will do anything to put you back the way you were, I will do anything to make this right. It’s not fair for me to have what you don’t have. We’re a team, we’re in this together, it’s time I started remembering just what it is we’re looking for. I’m sorry, I know it’s not enough, but I’m going to make it better, just please believe in me a little bit longer.” He went quiet and swallowed hard, listening to his heart hammer against his ribs and knowing that even if he were to rip it out and offer it up, it still wouldn’t be enough.

Al was quiet for a while, and still didn’t turn to look at Ed.

Ed curled tighter around the pillow, watching the silent, still back glint dully in the single bulb light hung over the table.

Then his brother spoke.

“Oh I knew that,” Al said, “before you told me. I don’t want you to think I would be careless and let anyone find out. I was just being friendly, and I liked her, but I don’t like her as much as you think I do.”

Sometimes Al was an awful liar.

“As for the other, what happened happened,” Al said, “sometimes it gets tiring repeating to you that I was there with you and guilty of the exact same thing.”

Ed opened his mouth to protest and Al whirled in his chair.

“NO,” he said, “YOU listen. You think I’m the only one who suffered, but I’m not. You sit over there cast in shadow except where the light falls on your arm and leg, and in that way we are the same, we both gave something up. What happened to you is not better or worse than what happened to me, we both came out losers. I don’t know why you always think I’m the one who’s worse off! I have my mind, I may not have my body, but I’ll get that back, I have faith in you. You’re the one who bleeds whenever someone hits you and you’re the one who hurts when the weather gets cold. No, I can’t share these pains because I no longer feel them, but if this is a curse, it is not a wholly bad one. If we did switch places, you would still be sorry, thinking I was the worse off no matter what I said. You just need to stop Ed, and listen when I tell you that I don’t blame you for this body that I’m in. The only thing I blame you for is making yourself miserable. You seem to think that guilt is something precious to cling to, but it’s not like that, brother. You have a life too; there is no point in me being here if you want to live mine as well.”

Ed buried his face in his pillow.

“I’m sorry I made you cry,” Al said.

Ed shrugged.

“We’re just brothers,” Al said, “and that’s all I could ever want us to be.”

***

Thursday came and then Friday followed, because that is order. But the Colonel had his own personal chaos for each night he slept alone. Ed was conspicuous by his absence and he was only lucky that nothing suiting his talents had come across Roy’s desk that would have had him send the Second Lieutenant searching. At first he was angry, he deserved better than this, after all he’d done for the boy and after all they had said to each other... But if he was in this for that reason, then it would cheapen it and make it nothing. He knew that despite everything, when Ed had the courage to finally face him and tell him what he didn’t want to hear, offering his beautiful apologies, that the Colonel would still bend to the point of breaking, no matter how much this boy made shreds of his heart.

It was Saturday already and the Colonel wondered how long it would take before he could manage to be entertained by a pair of smiling eyes that weren’t the color of fine scotch and a voice that wasn’t on the verge of breaking the hold adolescence still had on it. He hadn’t planned on anything, maybe cleaning out his closet, and was a bit surprised when the phone rang. He stood and looked at it, hoping Ed was not going to do this to him by phone, but he picked it up slowly. “Hello?”

“Colonel Mustang, sir?” a young voice asked, not the voice he had expected, but one close enough to it.

“Alphonse?” the Colonel said back, wondering what would make Ed’s brother call him out of the blue.

“This is very awkward and I’m in the common area and can’t talk very freely,” Al said quietly, “so I have to ask you not to ask me too many questions.”

“Alright,” Roy said.

“Could you come and get brother? He’s really starting to worry me,” Al said, “I won’t be there when you get here, but I left the dorm room door unlocked. I told him I had some errands.”

“I don’t understand,” the Colonel said.

“I know you don’t,” Al said, “but he’s not staying away because of you, he thinks he’s doing it for me. He’s so stubborn and I can talk until I’m blue in the face plate, but sometimes, when he’s like this, it does no good. You know how guilty he can be… Hello Private Roser,” Al ended pointedly.

“I’ll be over as soon as I can, but we have to talk Al,” Roy said.

“I know, I know,” Al said, “I want you to know I’m really glad this happened, I don’t mean what’s going on now, I mean having someone to discuss him with, because he’s really such a handful and sometimes I’m at a loss.”

Roy chuckled. “I’m glad to know I can be there for you too,” he said.

***

The hand that touched his head was warm, not scratchy like Al’s leather and Ed blinked open his eyes. He hadn’t noticed the Colonel’s weight when he sat on the side of the bed, but the touch had roused him quickly enough, it was so achingly missed.

“What are you doing?” the Colonel asked.

For a minute Ed thought it might be a dream. He had dreams about the Colonel, sometimes ones that made no sense, sometimes ones that made him mad and sometimes ones that made him… other things. But they usually didn’t feel so real and their hands weren’t so warm, and he couldn’t smell sandalwood and soap when he had them.

Ed sat half way up and pushed down the blanket, he started to reach for Roy’s face, but then he stopped and let his hand drop.

“What are you doing here?” Ed asked bewildered.

“Your brother called me,” he said he was worried.

Ed closed his eyes and sighed.

What could have possibly happened? Surely this wasn’t over rejection by a girl he knew for a few days.

“Should I start out by apologizing?” Ed asked, “because I think I should, I should have called you, I’m so stupid.”

“Just tell me what happened,” the Colonel said patiently.

“Al really liked that girl, and I told him that he couldn’t,” Ed said and then he leaned forward slowly and pressed his head to Roy’s chest.

Roy sat stunned for a long moment, then he raised his hand and cupped the back of the blonde head.

It wasn’t that Ed liked her, it was that _Al_ had liked her, and like the over protective elder brother was, _and because of the secret they had to hide_ , Ed had stayed with Al, pushing everything aside. It hurt a bit to think that Ed could put him off like that, but he understood because that is the way Ed worked. To be the focus of that much devotion, that much _love_ must sometimes be a tiring thing, even for someone like Alphonse, who’s armor was not big enough to hold his heart.

Roy found himself wishing for some of Al’s burden when two arms, one warm and one cool, reached for him. He pulled Ed against him and laid his cheek on top of his head.

“Sometimes you really are quite silly,” the Colonel said against blonde strands, “all you had to do was call me and tell me what was happening. I would appreciate it if you’d let me in a little, you know I just want to help you.”

“I know,” Ed said miserably against his chest.

“I know you are used to only having your brother, and there is no one more grateful than me that you have him, but you have me now too,” he tilted Ed’s face up, “and I want to help and be there for you, but I can’t if you won’t let me,” Roy stroked his thumb over one cheek, “we’re in this together now. Not just you and not just me, but Al too, I want to help him as well. I know how special he is to you and that makes him special to me, but Ed, you are… more than special to me,” the Roy chuckled a bit, “I can be your ‘Ed’.”

Ed blinked.

“That would make me Al,” Ed said.

Roy laughed.

“Oh my god yes, because we all know if there were two Ed’s in the world it would explode!” the Colonel said merrily, dark eyes flashing.

“You bastard,” Ed grumbled, and tried to push away.

“If I’m Ed now, does this mean I can have a blatant disregard for any protocol and an aversion to authority so strong I could cut through steel with it,” the Colonel cackled wickedly, pushing Ed down on the bed.

“You’re a bastard,” Ed hissed and struggled, kicking in the sheets.

“Yeah I know,” Roy said, “but since I’m Ed and you’re Al, I can’t kiss you, because that would be gross,” and he released the gaping blonde and stood up.

Ed bolted upright in the bed.

“I don’t want to be Al,” Ed cried, “this is a stupid game!”

“Too late,” Roy said, straightening his uniform.

Ed struggled out of the bed and leapt over to the Colonel glaring up at him.

“You can’t be me, for one thing you’re too ta…” He caught himself, but not before he saw the evil gleam in the Colonel’s eye.

“Who are you calling so gigantic they can’t be a pipsqueak alchemist,” the Colonel chortled evilly.

Ed was so flabbergasted he forgot to flail and the Colonel caught hold of him, pulled him close and kissed him. When Ed could breath again he pushed back and snorted.

“That was really pathetic,” the boy said, “If you are going to try your hand in impersonation comedy, you have really got to get your delivery down,” he said loftily.  



	15. Chapter 15

[ _Drop the gun!_ ] the man screams in broken Ishbhalan, [ _Surrender peacefully!_ ] he tries again, [ _Surrender and no harm!_ ]. He doesn’t know any other words to fling out, ( _the army had no time to teach them diplomacy, only orders_ ), to try to make the terror go away, to try and make small shaking hands abandon the weapon they clutched tightly. What they think is their only choice, their only defense.

The Colonel jerked violently in his sleep, catching his lover inadvertently with a heel to his shin.

[ _Surrender peacefully_ ], he begs again to the shaking, dark-skinned child with the wild red eyes who clutches a carbine to his chest. He can see his own hand outstretched with forefinger and thumb pressed together, the ghastly white material of his gloves reflecting the light of a nearby fire as they shook.

From somewhere within him, the boy finds his courage. _(No! the Colonel screams wildly, always the spectator to this scene, trapped and helpless as if behind a glass wall)_ The boy slams himself back against the wall he is cowering against for leverage and his small hands yank the carbine rifle upward.

[ _Surrender…_ ], behind his glass wall, the Colonel watches in helpless horror. He snaps his fingers and activates his array. It’s only a matter of seconds, the blacked and charred body arches toward him and he stumbles back wildly, tripping and going down on his ass. There is a sound behind him as he watches the scene play in front of him. He whirls around, tense and ready, and sees a dark-skinned child with wild, red eyes cowering against the walls of his ruined home, a carbine rifle clutched in his shaking hands.

The Colonel opens his mouth. Maybe this time, maybe this time he will listen!

[ _Drop the gun!_ ] the man screams in broken Ishbhalan, [ _Surrender peacefully!_ ] he tries again, [ _Surrender and no harm!_ ]

The Colonel watches in horror, always a spectator to this scene, trapped and helpless as if behind a glass wall. It’s all one never-ending circle.

***

Something struck him across the face and he came up swinging, twisting himself to the side and falling off the side of the bed. He rolled with the impact, on his feet before he finished a breath and clapped his hands hard in front of him. Alchemic energy surged with blue and white fire as his arm melted and reformed into something sharp and brilliant. He bared his teeth like a jackal and crouched to face his opponent who tried to take him unawares.

The Colonel reacted too, but in a much more disorganized way. He flailed and arched up, twisting and slamming into the bedside table, knocking it over and following it down off the side of the bed. Ed felt his jaw drop as his sleep-addled brain tried to assess the situation. He looked wildly around the bedroom, but nothing seemed out of place and he could hear the Colonel panting like he’d run a marathon, muttering things that made no sense. Ed slowly reconstructed his arm again and took a few cautious steps around the foot of the bed to peer beside it.

Black eyes widened at the sight of him and the Colonel screamed again, something Ed couldn’t understand. He wasn’t sure what to say and raised his hand toward the Colonel, but the Colonel thrust his own hand out and _snapped_ , hard and loud, again and again, his breath hitching in terror. Ed stood frozen, not sure of what he was seeing, but then something whispered in his own mind, something that was familiar and sickening, something that waits until he is at his most vulnerable in his sleep to come creeping in like a guilty dog. The Colonel is having a nightmare.

Ed opened his mouth, checking himself at the last moment before shouting _Colonel!_ and instead replacing it with “Roy!”

They were suspended for a few moments, neither moving, as the sound of a name echoed briefly around the room. The Colonel swallowed and jerked his head back and forth. He looked at Ed again and then at his own outstretched hand, forefinger and thumb clenched against each other so hard they were white at the knuckles. He made a half laughing sound that became desperate and looked at Ed again, his eyes moving from confusion, to realization, to fear, to sorrow. He jerked his hand back and opened it, stared at his palm for a moment more, then laughed another thin laugh that was more like a wound opening in his throat, and simply fell over with a horrible thud on the wooden floor.

Ed was startled into action. He took two running steps and fells to his knees, but Roy had not passed out, his eyes were open and he was just lying there, staring off at nothing, making no effort to sit up. Ed reached out and touched his shoulder with his flesh hand, but the Colonel flinched, then subsided, but he did not meet Ed’s eyes and he said nothing.

“Roy,” Ed said bewildered, “get up.” He gave the Colonel’s shoulder a push.

“Leave me alone Ed,” the Colonel’s voice was raw and faint.

“You can’t lay here on the floor,” Ed said and pushed again.

The Colonel made no response, tangled in the bed covers with the bedside table lying against his back.

Ed was at a loss. He could make no sense of why the Colonel wished to lay on the floor next to the bed. He almost wrung his hands, but caught himself before he did it. He needed to think, to work out what was going on. He stood up and stepped over the bastard, setting the bedside table upright. He turned and stepped back over the Colonel-shaped lump on the floor to retrieve the bottle that usually sat there on the table, from where it skittered and rolled to rest on the bedroom door frame. He replaced it, picked the lamp up and switched it on and off. It seemed fine, so he sat it back in its place as well, but the alarm clock’s face was cracked, so he sat it on the floor and clapped his hands to mend it. He understood the workings of this at least, and wished he understood the workings of the mind of his lover who was still lying silent and unmoving on the floor. He got the table back to the way he remembered it looking, order from the chaos. He then sank to his knees again and began untangling the Colonel from the sheet and comforter. Roy didn’t help or hinder as Ed moved his legs about like they were dead weights. Ed straightened the bed clothes out, but left them lying over the man and looked back at his face. His expression hadn’t changed at all.

What should he do? He reached up and caught a lock of his own long blonde hair that was trailing over his shoulder and twisted it, then noticed he is doing it and dropped it, wrinkling his nose in disgust with himself.

 _Sometimes you will have to be more of the adult than he is._

He’s sulking about something, about something he had dreamt about. When Ed sulked, the Colonel teased him and made him mad, and after Ed was over being mad… he could never quite work back up to the sulk he had going, so he let it go. That was bizarre logic, trading one bad emotion for another, but Ed found he would prefer any response over this thing on the floor that seemed apathetic to everything, even it’s own comfort.

He chewed on his lip, wondering what to say, then leaned over the bastard’s head and planted his hands on either side of it. The Colonel didn’t acknowledge him, it was almost like he was back in that hospital bed, pink and quiet.

“You should practice what you preach,” Ed said, “you’re just a fucking hypocrite.”

No response.

“You think you’re so smart, that you have to teach me all these things you think I need to know,” he tried again, “but then you do stupid shit like lying around on the floor feeling sorry for yourself.”

Still the Colonel said nothing.

“It was just a fucking dream,” Ed said, “I have them too you know, you don’t see me lying around on the floor like a baby.”

 _That’s a little unfair, I prefer to lie around on the bed like a baby._

The Colonel’s eyebrow twitched and the corner of his mouth pulled down.

“Here’s some of your own advice,” Ed said, then took a deep breath and let his adolescent voice climb to a mocking falsetto, “you should let me in you know,” Ed simpered, being just as insulting as he could manage, “I can’t do nothing if you don’t tell me what is wrong,” he finished. “What a load of crock,” Ed sniffed.

  
“You ungrateful brat,” the Colonel whispered.

Ed narrowed his eyes, Roy’s hadn’t pried his cheek off the floorboards, but his eye swiveled up to glare at the face hanging over him.

Ed stuck his tongue out.

The Colonel raised his arm and used the ball of his hand to level himself into a semi-sitting position on his hip. His cheek was pink on one side and he looked like he had a bruise forming on his temple, the groove from the hardwood floor had left an impression running horizontally across his cheek. His jaw was set with his lips pulled tight.

“I’m just saying it’s a two way street,” Ed rushed out, “if you want me to do that stuff then you got to do it for me too, it’s…” Ed fumbled, then latched onto the mantra of his life, “equivalent trade.”

“Is that all you think about,” the Colonel spat, “I think we’ve come to the conclusion that not everything in life is fair, how do you apply equivalent trade to that?!”

Ed floundered, sitting back on his heels, surprised at the Colonel’s anger.

“It’s how things work,” he stammered, “you give and you get…”

“What am I getting?!” Roy demanded, “I work hard to make sure you’re taken care of, Ed! I try and see you have the first shot at the best leads, I cover your tracks, I put up with your insubordination and disrespect at the office in front of my other subordinates, I make excuses for your brother, I put my goddamn neck on the line in the name of Elric every fucking day, and what do I get? You can give a blow job now, I’ll give you that, you can eat my food ok, you can wreck my house, my fucking _phonograph…_ ,“ Roy stopped a moment, took several deep breaths, “you can perpetuate and believe wild rumors before you ask me the truth, and I KNOW you did that, and then when I think we’re finally understanding each other, you can mock me to my FACE!” Roy rubbed a hand over his eyes, “I have been patient, I have been supportive, I have been concerned. I haven’t asked for much in return, just some of your time and some of your… your… feelings, I won’t say ‘love’, I know you don’t like that,” he spat, “and this is what I get for it! I don’t know who’s the bigger fool, here… no maybe I do know. This is my own goddamn fault, for taking up with a kid!” Roy shook his head, “You’re a fucking kid, and you haven’t changed a bit!”

Then the Colonel looked at the kid, sitting on his knees, naked on the hardwood floor of his bedroom. He never should have looked at him, at the eyes that had gone hollow and the lips that were thin now and bloodless with a slump to his shoulders. He never should have looked and inadvertently committed that sight to his memory, but now it was too late to take back anything he’d said. It was a cruel fucking twist of fate to have him be the one to add this to the Edward Elric list of painful firsts. The truth, even if he believed half of what he said, is that he never should have said any of it, because he’s supposed to be the adult. Even as he made a sound of regret and reached for the boy, he knew that a simple touch would never be enough. Edward’s trust is a fragile thing, and he gave it to Roy in the belief that the Colonel would never hurt him. Yet, here the Colonel had laid his soul bare on the floor between them and practically ground it under his heel. As the boy jerked back from the offered touch and climbed to his feet, Roy felt his own soul settle on the floor between them and prayed that Edward would rend it, but he just rushed silently for his clothes and ran out the bedroom door.

Roy Mustang sat on the floor of his bedroom with his sheet and comforter still spread out straight and lovingly over his legs, listening to the love of his life’s painful hitches of breath in the hallway where he was dragging on his clothes, and he could not get up for the life of him to chase the boy to the doorway. Instead, he lets the front door’s slam signal that it’s final.

Edward had had his heart broken by life and circumstance and fate, but it is Roy Mustang who had given him his first heartbreak from love.

The Colonel leaned heavily against the side of the bed and wondered if the boy was crying, wondered why he was such a coward, and if he was truly the adult.

***

Edward stood before him, the loudest thing in the office was his silence. The Colonel gave his permission for the boy to run. Edward had come with well-prepared arguments and leads and said nothing when his leave was granted before he even stated them all. He never met the Colonel’s eyes, or those of the others, he just turned and moved by Alphonse and used his younger brother as a shield from the eyes that watched him walk from the office.

It was very hard to concentrate on anything after that, and the Colonel caught one glance in his direction from a certain Second Lieutenant, but he offered nothing in return. He left the office briskly, but he did not go home right away, he spent the night in a café and even then argued with himself when it was time to go. He stood on his walk and glared at his front door, hating the bastard who lives there.

He thought wryly to occurrences not to long ago when he prepared himself for imagined rejection and the nights he spent alone, what irony it seemed to him, that he should be a fortune teller, and in defeat he trudged inside and shut the door behind him.

***

Things have a way of snowballing.

So many things began to happen so fast, it was a wonder he could breathe, but in between one crisis and the next, he thought about the boy, and it would be a lie to say he didn’t think about the him even as he dealt with each crisis. Ed had made his way to Central and as usual chaos had followed him. He got reports belatedly and felt his heart hammer in his chest, calling his old friend and demanding concrete answers. Hughes was withholding information, to what purpose, Roy did not know.

“He couldn’t move his arm!” Roy cried into the receiver, and Hughes made his usual reassuring reply. From his distance, he could not see the Colonel’s ashen countenance and mistook anguish for outrage, but the First Lieutenant watched silently, thinking herself alone in her suspicions. Even though it was ungracious, and maybe a bit something else, she couldn’t help but think that Hughes had done the right thing. This grim Colonel that had replaced the one of not so long ago was a very efficient worker and seemed driven toward his goal. Each day, as things escalated, she saw his inner focus and though it may be painful on a personal level, it was what the Colonel needed. She would always be devoted, despite the man’s obvious indiscretions, because those small parts of him did not make up the whole. When he slammed the phone down and demanded she get them passage to Central, she was not surprised in the least.

***

To say something had been ripped from him was an understatement. He stood before a marker instead of a photograph of a little girl with hair in pig tails and smile so reminiscent of her father’s. Her cries at the service were added to the Colonel’s memories of things he sometimes visited to remind him of what he’s doing, but it’s a two edged sword. They will come to haunt him as surely as burning corpses and a pair of hollow golden eyes. He hoped to catch them there, but they had already moved on, unaware of what was left behind them.

The First Lieutenant’s voice was a solid reminder, her words not a healing balm, but a confirmation of his convictions, and he turned his face to hide his reaction, making a quip about the weather. He did not reach up to remove it because he owed his old friend at least that. They left the gravesite with his resolution screwed tight, there were things he must simply put behind him, and his heart reluctantly agreed to help him. He promised it that once this was over, they would have a long talk, but he couldn’t afford the distractions when all he needed was answers. Once again, the First Lieutenant provided them in the form of a towering Major.

***

  
Deception, deceit and intrigue became his bedfellows. They are fickle lovers who rob him of his sleep and still, he can’t quite banish the longing for a something else that was both warm and cool at once, his heaven and his hell. Then came the staggering blow and an entire city vanished along with many men who were sacrificed to fate’s discretion. The association with a mad man condemned them, and the Colonel accepted orders to put right the mistakes. He wondered as he talked, practically begging for them, if it was just an excuse to see the boy again. He cursed his heart, he thought they’d made a deal, but he takes his traitorous feelings in pursuit of something he’d given up.

The boy lashed out as expected when they trapped him near his hometown, but it was just so good to see him, the Colonel didn’t think about Ed’s anger, but because the stakes were high, and he couldn’t afford those feelings he made demands he already knew the answers to.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” he heard his own voice shout and it was all he could do to keep focused on the face of the man in front of him, because somehow in the chaos, the boy had been left behind and the person he faced now was different in every way.

 _I have never stopped…_

Ed returned his shout with one of his own, the words registered and he acknowledged them.

 _Not for a single moment…_

Now the others are speaking, information is being exchanged, plans are forming, answers are being given.

 _Even though I have tried…_

The Colonel is forced to offer up painful information of things that were not given as freely as he might have liked, and Edward touches him in anger, grabbing at his collar. Alphonse rushed forward to stave off his brother’s blow…

 _I have loved you…_

Edward screamed his brother’s name as a blinding flash surrounded them and the sound of splashing water brought terror like it shouldn’t. His thoughts halt in his tracks, but a miracle is given to them, and then it was Edward who was hiding information that should be given freely.

 _But I don’t expect…_

They made a trek in silence that was from the brothers’ childhood and met up with unexpected information on the road. He watched Edward’s anger directed at a man who Roy had long sought after and thought to never meet.

Later in the evening, he took the opportunity to speak with the man that had molded his son’s fate, he found he couldn’t dislike him, despite Edward’s feelings and he wondered what it was that made him wander away. Edward was cold and distant, only looking and speaking to the Colonel when he had to. Roy couldn’t blame him and pushed for nothing more. He had already contributed to the look of feral defiance Edward was offering those around him, and excused himself with apologies to find a place to remove his aggravating presence. It was the least he could do for him.

***

He did not sleep, even though he knew he should, the exhaustion could make him slip. He found his way outside and a bit removed from the house, reaching up to tug his collar open and running a hand through his hair.

 _He is beautiful. Not even your own memories of him in your own bed do him justice._

The flesh and metal of him is a powerful presence. Roy leaned his head back and looked up at the stars above him, a blanket that is not as visible in the city.

 _He’s gotten a bit taller, even though I’m not close enough to measure with my chin._

The floodgate opened even as he tried to bar it. Laughing eyes and breathless grins, gold and red and black blurs across the private screening room of his mind. The startled yelp of the first love bite before that torturous promise of ‘no biting’ was extracted... So much restraint on the Colonel’s part, he should receive a reward.

Climbing Alphonse like a tree to reach a book on the top shelf of the office, scuffling over a candy bar Breda decided he wanted even though he laid it before Edward on the table, the startled cry of pleasure when the Colonel touched him in just the right way, the look of wide-eyed wonder after his first climax that hadn’t been delivered by his own left hand.

The way he swayed to a record when he thought he wasn’t being watched, and the way he could obviously relax his gullet when the food was to his liking. The look of intensity so bright, you could read by it when a book held his fascination. The soft sobs of sorrow buried against his chest for his little brother, the feel of golden silk dragging between his fingers as soft snores issued from where soft sobs had been, once he’d been comforted.

Roy closed his eyes against the stars.

 _I was blessed to have you even for the little while I did._

 _I want to thank you for the places in my mind I like to visit, mostly that you’ve put there._

 _Maybe someday I can return the favor._

  
No one was more startled than himself when a silent figure joined him, but said not a word. Golden eyes searched his face for a moment, then the figure turned and walked away, but not towards the house. After a moment, the Colonel followed, hoping he interpreted the look right.

Edward walked ahead of him, carrying something over his arm like a blanket. He led the Colonel over a rise and across a back field. Soon another small farm house came into view with a large barn set back from it, a weather testament to the small farming community. Edward paused at the fence and looked toward the small house, but it was silent and dark. He ducked between the fence rungs and waited for the Colonel to follow his lead. It was not as easy for the taller man and as he grunted with the effort to squeeze through, he thought he saw a fleeting half smile on the moonlit face.

They approached the barn and Edward tried the handles. The doors swung open easily with a bit of a creak, there isn’t much call to secure things in this place and Roy found it oddly touching and peaceful. Edward slipped into the barn and Roy followed, pausing to pull the door closed behind him. The smell of animals and vegetation assaulted him and he wrinkled his nose a moment. Edward proceeded forward, heading towards the back, Roy moved to follow and almost cried out when something soft and curious bumped his elbow, but the cart pony had better manners than to be offended and the Colonel gave a wider berth as he moved further into the barn.

Edward was waiting for him, his foot on the bottom rung of a ladder. When Roy came within a few feet, he started to climb. Roy closed his hands over the rough wooden side railings and followed suit, the smell of hay becoming stronger the further up he went. Edward gained the top well before him _(getting old, the Colonel fretted)_ and was busily spreading out the blanket he had draped over his arm. He chose his corner carefully, like making a critical chess move, sat down, crossed his legs and looked up at the Colonel.

Roy lowered himself slowly on the opposite corner; his legs don’t cross as easily as the young man used to making do when no chairs are available. They faced each other in silence for long seconds.

“I should be furious with you for not telling me the army was developing the red stone,” Edward said, reasonably and evenly, “when you knew all along it might have been the key I was killing myself trying to find.”

“I was not at liberty to discuss it so freely,” the Colonel replied in the same measured tones, “although I would have liked to and I know you won’t think it much of an excuse.”

There was more silence from both parties, then it was the Colonel’s turn to speak.

“You’ve been very busy. I would like to know more about Lab 5, is there any chance you would tell me?” he kept his expression schooled and his eyes on the face before him, “and this business in Lior, I think I deserve some answers.”

“Lab 5 is complicated. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” Edward said, “many things are happening right now and I’m not even sure of all the answers. As for Lior, there isn’t much I can tell you. Al was more involved there and I was just the clean up.”

“I think you’re lying,” The Colonel, to his credit, didn’t flinch when the golden eyes turned hard, “but I figure you have your reasons,” he continued, “about Alphonse at the river…”

“Please don’t ask me that,” Edward said and for the first time lowered his eyes, “please just let me keep that for a while. I would ask you to trust me, but I don’t know how you’ll take that.”

“That’s funny,” the Colonel said, “because I could ask you the same thing with the same reservations.”

Then silence reared its head again and Edward shifted on the blanket. The Colonel wondered who would speak first about the selfish thing on his mind; he knew there would be no way he could just leave it without at least some gesture made to make them friends.

“I missed you,” Edward said quietly.

The Colonel’s heart missed a beat, and his vocal chords deserted him for a moment.

“I thought about you a lot,” Edward said shifting again, uncomfortably, but determined.

The Colonel wet his lips and pulled breath with which to speak.

“I thought a lot about the things you said,” Edward continued, “and I’ve had a lot of time away from you to let them sink in.”

“Edward,” the Colonel said.

“Please let me say this, I’ve practiced it long and hard in the hopes that I’d have the opportunity to do so,” Edward said.

The Colonel closed his mouth.

“Some of the things you said were very painful,” Edward said softly, “but mostly I deserved them. I was selfish and ignorant, blind and arrogant…”

“Edward,” the Colonel said, “I understand…”

“But I didn’t. That was just it, you _did_ understand. I think back on it now and I see so much that I didn’t see then, and that hurts so much more than your words,” the young man said, “that I was so blind to you and your feelings. I thought I was being a good boyfriend,” and he half laughed and gave a sad smile, “but in reality I was being a burden, and one you didn’t deserve.”

“That’s not true!” the Colonel interjected, “you were never a burden to me!”

The Colonel thought he saw gratitude in those golden eyes, and then the young man leaned over on his hands and knees and crossed the expanse of blanket between them.

The Colonel found the air in the hayloft thick now and it was difficult to breath.

“There are some things I want to give you,” Edward said, “while I still can. I hope that you will let me, because no one deserves them more than you.”

“What do you mean while you still can?” the Colonel asked, “What do you think is going to happen?” His heart constricted in his chest. Edward was so close, so touchably in distance of his hands, it was hard to keep them still.

Edward shook his head.

“I can’t tell you, because I don’t know,” he said and he leaned up, his eyes straying from Roy’s eyes to Roy’s lips, “but what I can tell you is that I want you. I want your touch, I need it. I’m willing to beg for it,” and then he kissed the Colonel soft and deep, his tongue gently pressing to Roy’s, then trailing over the roof of his mouth before withdrawing. When he pulled back, he did so just a little, so their lips were still touching, “I hope you still want mine.”

***

There is no word in any spoken language to describe the feeling of a heart that thought it knew love, but realized it had only known the merest beginnings.

Roy pushed his lips against the ones still resting lightly on his in offering, and then moved to push Edward onto his back, fingers tangling in the braid as he did so, pulling at the tie, letting the weight of all that blonde hair fall over his hands. After he laid Edward down, he pushed himself up on his arms and took in the sight, because perfection like this must never be forgotten and every nuance must be committed to memory. These would be the ones he hoarded with a jealousy bordering on insanity, and hoped he could play them through his mind when time in this existence was coming to a close.

Edward reached up to him, just as he had always done before, the yielding in his eyes made Roy gasp out loud. He kissed those fingers, both flesh and metallic, as Edward’s hands stroked his face and then moved downward to his neck. The sound of crickets was a lush accompaniment to the rustling symphony of fabric, each piece singing it’s solo melody before being swept aside, and as he bared his lover and his lover did the same to him, Roy’s mouth sought out the flesh it had once before remembered.

Each breathy sound that fell from Edward’s lips, Roy lashed over his senses. Each twist of his body, Roy mapped in his mind, even the crunch of the hay beneath the blanket played its role in this living tapestry that was Edward’s body, and Roy worshipped it with a zealous fervor that burned him deeper than his namesake element ever could.

He would not be stilled the first time he brought Edward to completion, even though Edward begged him as he arched up with his hips. He savored Edward’s every contour, even to mapping his cock with his tongue, and he held those arched hips captive until he’d had his fill.

Edward flung his arm out and his fingers scrabbled at the clothing piled beside the blanket, and for one soul-wrenching moment, Roy thought that it was over. If this all he could have, then he’d take it and grovel his thanks to heaven, because even just this much was more than he expected.

But Edward dragged over his pants and jammed his hands into its pockets. After a moment, he brought out what looked like a jam jar. He shoved the pants away again and held it up to Roy as it was a trophy worthy of that battle.

When Roy didn’t take it right away, Edward grunted. Roy gave him a puzzled look and leaned down to kiss him.

“Take it,” Edward husked, pressing it against his shoulder.

Edward wanted him to have a jam jar. If that is what he wanted, a jam jar Roy would have. So he plucked it from Edward’s grasp and held it a moment, then set it aside on the blanket and leaned down to kiss him.

“Roy, it’s…” but then his mouth got lost in Roy’s and he squirmed, but acquiesced quickly. After a few moments, Roy pulled back up, jam jar forgotten.

Edward panted, flushed to his roots and reached up to tug at Roy’s shoulders. He arched his hips up as Roy obligingly lowered himself to the pull, and the bump and grind began.

Roy almost laughed out loud, the sheer delight of it making him giddy, he gave Edward a wicked grin and ground down against him.

Edward was working himself into a lather, breath catching with each press of their groins together and Roy’s cock began to complain loudly, demanding some sort of satisfaction, ANY SORT of satisfaction. Roy found his mind straying to a decorative bottle on a bedside and he cursed its very existence for being there and not here when he needed it. He massaged Ed’s hip in agitation, wanting badly do what the bump and grind often heralded for Ed, which was a pleasurable fingering.

Edward latched onto the side of his neck and began to suck hard like a starved leech, his grinds becoming more frantic. It was getting hard to not be caught up in his sudden pitched fever and throw caution to the wind. Even so, Roy found his hand sliding under Edward’s butt and kneading restlessly on a cheek. Edward did his scootch, the scootch that he did when he wanted to leverage himself up on Roy’s lap and give Roy room to work. Roy kissed him again, needy and frustrated, wanting to please him with a desire bordering on mania, but even he wasn’t so far gone to realize that a dry run would be painful.

Edward pulled his mouth free and glared up at him.

“What’s the hold up,” the blonde demanded, and Roy’s head swam with the irony.

“Edward,” Roy panted, “I know what you want, but we don’t have any…”

“What did you think was in that jar?” Edward growled, “jelly for an after shag snack? It’s cooking oil from Granny Pinako’s kitchen, where did you put it?!”

Two sets of hands slapped around the blanket’s edge. They found it at the same time and in urgency, they fought over it.

“What the hell are you doing?” Roy yelped.

“I don’t want you to spill it,” Edward growled, “you’re all jittery.”

“I can hear your automail rattling,” Roy growled back, “give it to me!”

They glared at each other, both with a hand locked around the hapless jam jar, and then Edward threw his head back and he laughed. He laughed like he used to with his whole body and then Roy was laughing too. They laughed and they kissed and a compromised was reached. The jam jar sat on Ed’s naked belly with his hand wrapped around it. Roy unscrewed the cap and dipped his fingers in, shoving as many in as he could. Ed screwed the cap back on and laid it carefully aside, far enough to be out of danger but not so far it wasn’t in easy reach.

Roy sat up on his knees and Ed wiggled, lifted and got himself propped up on them as Roy stroked the inside of his thigh with his unoiled hand. Roy then slipped his other hand between Ed’s legs, under his balls and back, circling the tight ring once and then twice, drawing in a shuddering breath from Ed.

Edward’s body hadn’t forgotten Roy’s touch and he opened with a relaxed ease that spoke of willingness and want and longing. Roy didn’t wait long to introduce a second finger, looking down as he did so, other hand still kneading gently on the inside of Edward’s thigh. Edward shuddered, it starts in his stomach and traveled up to his lips.

“Is it alright?” Roy asked softy.

“Please don’t stop,” his young lover gasped.

Roy worked him slowly, remembering his places, hooking his fingers in just that way that would make Edward tremble. Edward rewarded him with the most beautiful grimaces and tantalizing moans, the inner thigh under Roy’s hand trembling and jumping in time to each of Roy’s slow finger thrusts.

And then Edward said “More.”

Roy though he meant ‘faster’, so he obeyed with a gentle smile, but Edward bit his lip and arched his neck.

“Another finger Roy,” he begged softly.

Roy swallowed and trembled, his cock reminding him again that as exciting as this all was, it was feeling a bit like a third wheel, but he couldn’t deny Edward anything, and so slowly, gently, he began to work a third finger into his lover. Edward grimaced just a bit at first, but he stayed beautifully relaxed and was soon panting heavily and tossing his head.

It was a sight better than a mortal man like Roy Mustang deserved.

Edward tightened rhythmically on Roy’s fingers and weaved his gasps and moans into a song meant only for Roy’s ears. Roy could have stayed in this perfect moment forever, watching the young man he loved enjoy his attentions and look so beautiful while doing it.

“Make love to me,” Edward said softly and Roy thought he might have imagined it.

“I am making love to you,” he said in return, to test his theory.

Edward sucked in his lower lip and shook his head.

“No,” Edward said, and then panted for a moment, “what we are doing is our mutual masturbation club, of which I am a long standing member and you are very definitely the president,” Edward gave a soft laugh.

“At least I’m the president of something,” Roy said in gentle mirth.

“But,” Edward said and then had to moan and pant a bit more before continuing, “I’m bored of this boy’s club. I’m ready for something new.”

“Ready,” Roy whispered.

“This is not your bed,” Edward half sobbed, “where I should have said these words,” and he arched a bit and made the hay crunch as he clenched and unclenched his fingers, “but I want to make love with you, I want you inside me. I want everything that is Roy Mustang, I want _you_ , and I don’t think I would ever want anyone else.”

***

Roy slowly withdrew his fingers and Edward gave a lovely bereft sound, it was very flattering to be so appreciated. The jam jar was again negotiated and just as quickly returned to its resting place of honor, but the oil was pooling in the palm of Edward’s hands instead of his own, Edward having sat up to receive what he called ‘an honor’.

Roy Mustang felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time: heat in his cheeks.

“You have a beautiful blush,” Edward crooned to him.

Roy let his eyes dart to the side.

“Thank you,” he said, feeling very silly.

Only Edward Elric could make him feel this way when he was about to have the sexual experience of what he figured would be his lifetime.

Edward was trying not to snicker.

“This is not how I imagined… no wait, I take that back,” Roy said, for some reason still not able to look directly at his lover, “somehow this is ironically appropriate.”

Edward dissolved into giggles for a few moments.

There was much lip smacking and schooling of expressions, and still after two tries, Ed still broke down into giggles when they looked at each other.

Roy’s cock had about enough and warned Roy if it didn’t see action, _and soon_ it was leaping to its death out of the hayloft, and it was taking Roy with it.

Edward seemed to telepathically sense this, because his expression sobered a bit and he reached forward to wrap his hands, both soft and hard, around Roy’s erection.

The night sang to life, Roy’s blood rushed in an abandoned free for all from his brain and directly into his groin, the sound he made caused Edward to look up at him in alarm.

“Don’t you dare cum yet,” Edward hissed, “I’m not even doing any good stuff!”

Roy wondered vaguely what could be better than just Edward’s hands on his dick, he wondered if he begged at the top of his lungs Edward would show him just what this ‘good stuff’ was.

“I think you need to cool down a bit,” his lover said, “or this is going to be a very short ride for the Mustang.”

Roy wondered vaguely where Edward had picked up this incredibly mature sexual vocabulary. It must be those bastards in Central again! The same ones that had tried to make him a hair puller during oral sex! Roy vowed grimly that each and every one of them would roast in a pit of his very own making and it would be so horrendous, so awful, that they would beg for hell as a mercy. Every time Edward went to that place, he came back with the most atrocious habits!

He decided that Edward didn’t know what he was talking about. After all, he was the teacher here.

“No,” Edward said, squirming when Roy leaned forward a bit, “lie down with me, just for a bit. Roy, if you do it right now it’s going to be over in a second,” Edward bit his lip, “And you’ll just chalk that up to another way I’ve ruined your reputation,” the blonde wheedled.

He remembered a woman who smelled like cinnamon who had once bestowed upon his ears the most crushing thing that had ever been said to him, and here, Edward, his shining thing, his cherished treasure, his object of undying affection, had just topped it and he did it in such a way that Roy couldn’t even be upset about it.

“I don’t want to lie down,” Roy whined.

“Ok, ok,” Edward placated, sounding all breathless and beautiful, “just remember, take it slow, it’s my first time,” and he bit his lip.

Roy stared at him hard for a long moment and then slowly leaned forward, started and waited. He waited for that excuse he just knew was coming to hold him off again, and then Roy would do the only honorable thing he could think off, he would cry.

But instead of an excuse, Edward gave a low, throaty moan and rubbed his heels on Roy’s back. Roy reached with one trembling hand between his own legs, gave his oil-slicked cock a pull, groaned deeply and lined himself up. Edward took several deep breaths and stretched his arms out to either side of him. Roy looked up at him for a moment, Edward looked very peaceful, very relaxed, very accepting.

He would love this boy who was now this man until the very last breath left his body.

He pushed forward slowly and sank into heaven.

***

There was only a bit of resistance after the head had cleared the ring. Edward had made a half whimper and his face and drawn tight, so Roy stopped and ached and waited. But, it only lasted a few hellish moments and Edward swallowed and smiled at him, nodding his head. Roy moved again, very slowly, hands kneading gently on the sides of two perfect thighs that framed his groin.

It was a hot, tight heaven. Edward groaned and tilted his head back, his heels dug into Roy’s lower back. Roy was shaking and sweat was trickling down the back of his neck and along side of his nose, but he would never think of removing his hands from the smooth skin where they rested.

Heaven drew him a little deeper.

He watched Edward’s chest move up and down in an almost hypnotic fashion, admiring his lover’s chest and toned abdomen, his flat stomach and the golden curls that were pillowing a reawakening erection.

Then he was wholly inside of him and Edward _tightened_. Roy drew in a frantic lungful of air and gritted his teeth, and then Edward relaxed again and Roy waited, letting him adjust to this invasion, struggling desperately to hold himself in check.

Edward was looking at him, his eyes were still the color of fine scotch.

“Roy,” he said soft and husky, “my Colonel,” he added on a playful note.

 _It’s useless, you can’t make me love you any more than I do already._ Roy thought hazily, _No, that’s a total lie._

“We’re making love,” Edward said again, in those same soft, husky tones. The sound of his voice caressed not Roy’s body but his very soul. “I use to think about this,” Edward continued, “I use to dream about it.”

Roy threw his head back savagely and panted for control, he should tell Edward to stop it, to cease this divine torture falling from his lips, but he could no more do that than stop breathing, or pull himself from his body.

“It’s just perfect,” Edward whispered, and turned his head to the side, “just the way I always thought it would be.”

Roy’s hips moved of their own accord, a thrust that for all it’s lack of control was still gentle, as if Roy’s own body knew the delicacy of the moment.

“I am your creature,” the voice between them was not Edward’s and Edward turned his head back to sear Roy’s face with his golden eyes, “and I always have been. I always will be,” Roy licked his lips, “I just want to be, no matter how I fill it, some part of your life. I will always love you.”

Edward threw his head back and arched up to Roy’s body. He could no more resist it than tell his heart not to beat and the rhythm that has moved lovers through the ages began to bring their bodies together.

***

Roy could hear his heart beating louder and louder. Edward’s cries over took it and the night air was thick against his skin and throat. He worried briefly that he as digging his fingers into pale flesh too hard, but as he looked down, he became entranced at the sight in his lap, of his body rocking, his cock moving in and out of Edward.

Edward thrashed and called out to him. He was trying to reach for him like he always had before, and Roy would please him, he would move into those clutching fingers, but he couldn’t from his position. Edward begged and sobbed and Roy tried to croon comfort to him, but it was getting hard to think, and his vision was blurring at the edges.

Somehow his eyes trailed from that flushed face, once again down Edward’s body and rested on his cock, hard and red and bouncing against his own stomach. Roy dragged a hand away from one hip and laid his palm over it, causing Edward’s cries to rise even higher. Edward dropped his arms to his sides, ground the heels of his hands into the blanket and hay beneath them and he arched _up to meet_ Roy’s thrusts.

All of it, heaven, hell, joy, ecstasy, terror, longing, love, faith and trust collided behind Roy’s tight, closed eyelids and he threw his head back so far he thought his neck might break and he screamed his completion, his _love_ to the rafters of the barn. Come what may, he didn’t care, for he had never known a more perfect moment. He struggled for air in his burning lungs, threw his chin down to his chest and tried to choke off a sob, but it escaped him. He opened his eyes slowly and saw his hand still lying over Edward’s cock, his palm felt wet and he trailed his eyes slowly up the young man’s body. Edward was drenched in sweat, but there were distinctive tracks down his cheeks. Roy made a half choked sound, _(my god NO, please if there is any mercy in you, anything for me at ALL, tell me I didn’t hurt him)_ but Edward smiled at him and reached for him again.

“I love you,” Edward sobbed brokenly, “I’ve always loved you, I wanted to tell you, please believe me!” he begged.

Then, at that moment, when everything stilled inside him and the crickets once again singing, only then – Heaven came.

 _Heaven came._

***

It was so hard to leave him there at the barn doorway.

“We better not go back together,” he said.

Roy was always the voice of reason.

He slipped quietly through the pre-dawn household and up the stairs to the small room he shared with his brother. Alphonse looked over at him as he slipped in the door and shut it quietly.

“Did you talk to him?” Al said softly.

Edward nodded and went over to sit on the floor beside his sibling.

“What did he say?” Al asked again in hushed tones to guard the sleeping.

“What I expected him to,” Ed said just as softly.

“Was that all?” Al prompted gently, “You were gone for quiet a while.”

“That wasn’t all,” Edward said slowly, “we did other things.”

“I know how much you missed him,” Al said, “I know how much you love him,” he stroked his brother’s heart with his soft, simple tones.

“Yes,” Ed said shakily, “and I told him,” his heart felt happy and terrified all at once and his stomach fluttered in a funny way. He was so grateful to have someone he could tell, he felt the sting of tears.

“I’m really glad,” Alphonse said after a moment, “because he’s a good man and he deserves it.”

“He does,” Ed said, “he deserves many things. I hope he makes his goal, he would be a good Fuhrer.”

“He may deserve many good things,” Alphonse said. He started to pat Ed’s knee, but jerked his hand back, remembering that touching brother was not a good thing, “but he deserves you most of all.”

Ed sat back against the wall and looked up at his little brother.

“That’s all he’s really wanted,” Al said in his all knowing way, “I can tell just by looking at him.”

“When we get your body back,” Ed said, “I think I might have to hug you for like an entire day.”

“Well you can hug me most definitely,” Alphonse responded, “but if we do it for an entire day, we’ll get all sweaty and I’ll probably have to go to the bathroom. I sometimes have trouble remembering what that’s like.”

It was all so absurdly wonderful and all so incredibly freeing, that Edward banged himself into the wall, laughing loud enough to earn an irritated thumping on the wall from Winry’s room next door.

***

The next morning brought nothing but new worries. There were soldiers at the station, someone had to send them back. Roy trotted down the front steps of the porch, intent on following the First Lieutenant to the car, when he heard footsteps rushing after him.

“Colonel, wait,” a beloved voice called.

He nodded to Hawkeye and signaled just a moment, turning back to the young alchemist walking toward him.

“I want you to stay out of sight,” he intoned firmly, his black eyes caught gold eyes briefly and Edward gave a nod.

“I might run if I have to,” Edward warned.

“I’m trying to prevent that,” the Colonel said.

Edward got as close as he dared.

“I love you,” he whispered.

A light flashed in the Colonel’s dark eyes.

“I’ll protect you,” Roy promised.

They turned their separate ways and walked out of each other’s lives for the moment.

***

Again there was damnable separation, and every step he took brought him closer to the cliff’s edge.

The Fuhrer was a monster that must be stopped.

He hadn’t seen Edward for quite some time now, he searched every report repeatedly and listened to every bit of intelligence gathered for some trace of his lover, even as he absorbed what he actually needed from it.

The showdown caught him unawares, but the First Lieutenant was beside him. She was comfort, no matter how formal and he was glad they were in it together. He sat in the back seat of a car, wearing clothes made for visiting dignitaries, complete with a hat to make him look respectable. He had smiled without mirth at the image in the mirror and imagined what Edward might say about the hat.

The Colonel rode in silence, going over and over in his mind what had to be done and what the best way was to accomplish it, and suddenly he was there, a flash of gold across the car hood, Hawkeye putting on the brakes.

Roy couldn’t believe it. Edward climbed in the car and they sat on opposite sides of the back seat, both staring straight ahead. What could be said really, the plans were reaching fruition and when he finally asked for Edward’s help, there was no small amount of pain in his eyes when he had to refuse.

Roy wanted to go with _him_ , to see this final terrible battle that Edward was trying to hide from him, but his plans were always bigger than only the two of them, and Edward understood that, because they were in the same position, so they slowed the car down to let him get out.

Roy walked with him a bit, and stood looking at him in the waning sunlight. So beautiful and so golden, only made more so by dusk’s approach. There are no words for the moment you tell the person you love ‘Goodbye’ when you know it might be the last time. He reached his hand out and Edward reached too, but instead of taking it to shake as if it would make these horrible thoughts final, he lightly slapped the back of it and smiled as best he could, because Edward never learned how to give up on a hopeless situation, and in this he was the teacher. Roy could only stand there and watch Edward run. He waited until he couldn’t see anymore and then just a bit longer, before turning to chase the monsters in his path.

This world was full of angels and demons, not all that could be seen, but Roy knew he would see both before the night was through.


	16. Chapter 16

The woman’s fingernails were biting into his arm and her rapid pants of breath echoed the rapid beats of his own heart. He was glad for the pain she was causing, because it really helped him stay focused. His mind tried to sort out what lay before them as he peered over what appeared to be a balcony and onto a grave below.

It was a vast grave, dark and silent as all graves should be. Its skeletal remains were unearthed before him because he had slipped beneath the living city above that served as its burial soil. It was almost incomprehensible that such a place existed. Despite his father’s careful notes, Russell Tringham had always learned better by doing.

The woman urged him on and they hurried along a path she knew now. She faltered only a time or two as they rushed through the veins that wove the map of this gigantic corpse, the populace that must have been its life blood dried up ages ago. A glow came into view around the next corner, eerie in all the stillness, as if some flicker of life was trying vainly to rekindle its remains and make the vast emptiness breath again.

Then they were inside it, their footsteps loud and gangly in what was a perfect silence. A theatre opens around them and they walk onto its stage. The woman, Rose, releases him and rushes forward looking left and right, stopping as if to get her bearings and then moving again, running forward and turning. She tilts her face upwards and studies the terraces above them, turns in a circle and then another one, before running a few more yards to repeat it.

He knows she is looking for something, but she is dressed for the dance and so is unknowingly performing with every stop and spin of her ball gown. He then notices markings on the floor and traces his eyes along them, lifting to follow them as they stretch across the room. It’s an array the likes of which he’s never seen. What was it intended for? The alchemic blood within him shies away instinctively, not wanting to touch its markings.

“Edward,” the woman cries out and spins again; Russell can almost imagine he hears a ghostly audience clapping. His look now scans the room around them anxiously, looking up as she is, thinking them alone on the stage floor.

“Are you sure he was here?” Russell says, almost startled at the hollow echo of his own voice. “I mean, that he wouldn’t have left?”

“He was,” she says in shaking tones, “He was, he wouldn’t have left. He said he was going to destroy this place, but it’s still here…” her dance had stopped and now she clutched her elbow and closed her eyes.

 _What have you done, Edward Elric?_

Russell is uncomfortable now with all the silence and the dim glow of their surroundings, he thinks it might be best to go and summon help. Ed was a State Alchemist after all, and the dogs ran in packs, they would charge after a sign of one of their own.

“Let’s go back,” he tells her, turning toward the door, his eyes straying once more to the further reaches of the room, cloaked in shadow. He stops and thinks he sees something, debating if it is tangible or his fertile imagination getting the jitters, but since they’ve come all this way and it was with the intention of finding something, he decides to check it out. He starts walking toward the hanging darkness, comforting his inner fears by recalling the face of Fletcher looking so unsettled when he had been given into his arms as a squalling infant. It had made the journey a little easier, getting to laugh a little at his baby brother.

As he nears the darkness, he almost tells himself it’s nothing, but then as if to play a game of one-upmanship with his own mind, his eyes pick out a more distinctive shape. It looks like a body and his feet move faster. As he lets the darkness slide over him and looks down on the figure, he thinks at first it might be Edward, but even he is not this small _(another brief flash to himself, flying fists unable to land a blow, and cheeks burning with indignation)_. He kneels slowly, almost afraid to touch it at first, but he forces his fingers to rest on a shoulder. It is warm and solid which brings great relief, because even though he has seen death in his lifetime, he’s never had to touch it.

Curled on his side, a young boy lay sleeping in a very strange place to be doing so. He won’t wake when prodded and Russell, concerned, feels his face. There doesn’t seem to be any fever.

“Rose!” he calls out and hears her footfalls quickening over to him, “Who is this? You never said there was a little boy down here.”

She doesn’t bend down and it’s hard to read her face in the shadows.

“I don’t remember seeing him before, “ she says, lowering her voice to a fearful whisper, “is he dead?”

“No,” Russell turns the child onto his back, sliding a hand under his shoulders and behind his knees, and stands, lifting him. He isn’t much bigger than Fletcher and probably about the same age, “we have to get him out of here, he won’t wake up, he might be in shock.”

She nods and turns to lead the way into what little light they could gain.

Russell glances down at the slack face as he steps from the gloom, his brow furrows and he gives a little start of recognition.

While not as golden as one might suppose, considering his relations, the boy has the definite stamp of Elric written on his features.

***

Ed’s automail hand seemed to have migrated to his side of the bed and was resting over his face, it was heavy and it was over his eye. He started to reach up and brush it aside, but his shoulder didn’t cooperate properly and his hand stayed where it was, resting on the bedside.

 _Ed, move your hand,_ he wasn’t sure his lips were moving, but the darkness and weight never shifted.

 _What are you doing anyway, is it time to get up?_ He certainly hoped it wasn’t. For one thing, his body didn’t seem interested in anything his mind was trying to tell it and where Ed’s hand rested, there had begun a dull ache.

He waited patiently for an answer and became more irritated when none seemed forthcoming, so he forced himself more toward waking, and gave a tiny snort of irritation.

When he finally forced his eyes open, the ceiling looked different. It was painted white, a common ceiling color, but it wasn’t the right shade and the shadows didn’t fall in the same places. The image was distorted and he blinked, giving a small gasp as his left eye began to burn and itch. Once again he tried to raise his hand only to have pain lace from the very tips of his fingers, right into his shoulder.

“Don’t try to move,” a soft voice told him. There was gentle pressure on his wrist, “I’m going to have the doctor summoned.”

The voice, both feminine and unfamiliar, sounded on his left side, but he had this damnable blind spot and he couldn’t see her. What was she doing here? Who was she? Had he been drinking? He felt sore all over and wondered how much scotch it had taken to waylay him this time. Then he thought, with a little start, what was this woman doing in his bedroom? He must have really been drinking, but why and where and when? More importantly, he had to get her out of here before Ed came over and caught him. He made a small distressed sound and she leaned over him, coming into view.

“It’s alright, just be calm, the doctor is on his way,” she said.

Roy noted that even inebriated he still had good tastes. She was young, pretty and smiled at him gently. Hell, she was even wearing a nurse’s uniform, that must have been fun. He was almost sorry he couldn’t remember it.

  
***

Later, he remembered the why’s and when’s and where’s, and he wished instead he didn’t. His face throbbed, but not in the same tempo as his shoulder, so he didn’t even have the luxury of a half moment’s rest between the painful sensations. A doctor and two nurses milled about him, comparing notes and talking over him as if he were just an illusion there on the bed. It aggravated him that he didn’t even have the strength to bitch them out properly.

He tried several times to ask questions, even though he knew these people didn’t hold any of the answers he _really_ wanted to hear. He worried at the First Lieutenant’s absence, most notably because of the _plan_. He prayed nothing had gone awry in an irreparable way.

What they did tell him was of little reassurance. He knew he was going to be fine without their half-handed guarantees and they seemed to turn deaf ears on any demands he made to speak with any of his subordinates. It was all so incredibly frustrating he could grind his teeth to powder. As much as he hungered for information on the state of the _nation_ , in actuality, something else was at the forefront of every hitched and wincing breath he took.

 _Edward, where is EDWARD?_

His heart wasn’t interested in deals, as far as it was concerned, that was over. It had found its soul mate in a hayloft and it wasn’t turning back.

“A phone,” Roy said to the young nurse who came in bearing water and some medication, “I need a phone in here. I need to speak to my people.”

“I’ll see what I can do, but you need to take this,” she said, setting the tray on the bedside table, “the doctor’s orders,” she smiled kindly and slipped a hand gently behind his neck to help his lean his head up.

He resisted her, gritting his teeth.

“Every time I start asking questions, you people drug me into oblivion,” he growled, “I want a PHONE and I want some GODDAMN ANSWERS! I’m not taking anything until I get them!” The outburst cost him and his vision swam. He shut his eyes _(no matter what they told him, the other one was **there** )_, and panted against the tap dance of needles from his face to neck to shoulder, right down to his damn toes.

“Please don’t be so upset,” the young nurse said, “sir, you are terribly hurt and we’re only trying to help you,” she almost made Roy regret his anger, but there were some things, like social niceties, one just had to give up at critical times. He considered this time more than critical.

“Get me the phone, or help me out of this bed,” he managed to pant, “because one way or another, no one is hiding anything from me anymore.”

***

“I hear you are causing trouble, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Forgive the insubordination, sir.”

His eyes _(yes, BOTH)_ flew open and he turned his head, even though his shoulder warned him not to.

The First Lieutenant was regarding him evenly, standing next to his bed. He took in her robe, belted over a set of pajamas, her hair hanging over her shoulder unfettered and her arm in a sling. _(A sling! She got hurt!)_ But he was pathetically glad to see her and didn’t try to hide it.

“Hawkeye, I’m going to lose my mind, please tell me you are really here and not some insane illusion and my god, are you ok?” he asked, all in one breathless rush.

Her expression gentled then and it looked as if she might want to touch his hand there on the bedside, but she didn’t. This combination of things made his stomach roll, what was going on? His mind, which had been so embroiled in the plan to begin with, kicked him hard right in the cerebellum and his eyes _(EYES)_ darted around the room. It might not do to talk freely here.

So he mouthed to her instead.

 _Fuhrer dead._

A statement not a question, she mouthed back.

 _Searching._

So they were searching for the Fuhrer. He had no fear of them finding him.

 _Questioned?_

He knew they had probably drilled her relentlessly.

 _Next._ she returned.

Of course, his mind instantly skipped to where it had stored his well rehearsed explanations. He raised his eyes to hers _(his eyes, both his eyes)_ and locked them on her sharp ones.

 _Edward?_

She did nothing for a long moment, long enough for his heart to begin a soft keening and move steadily toward his throat.

 _Searching,_ she finally returned, but on the subject she could not be persuaded to mouth him more.

***

 _Let them come, LET THEM COME!_

He could hear them arguing in the hall. A couple of voices he recognized, one of them Hakuro; one seemed to be Madison, another General; and Barton of course, his doctor.

He was sitting up today. Earlier, one of the young nurses had helped him with an eye patch, a stiff, black, half oval shape that laid over most of his cheek as well as his eye. A goddamn eye patch and still they hadn’t let him have a mirror. What the hell did it matter? It’s not like he had anyone to show off to, not anyone that mattered, not anyone they could _find_.

The door swung open. Barton was pushed ahead by a tide of angry voices that all seemed to mutter to a silence when they caught sight of the Colonel sitting up in his bed, half of his face swathed in black.

“You realize we have a lot of questions,” Hakuro said, without greeting. “and you will have a lot of answers,” his voice was a blatant threat that he did not try to hide.

Roy threw himself out into the open as well, because what did it matter? There would be no one sitting anxiously in a court room, no one whispering words of encouragement into the ear on his blind side _(it was fucking gone…)_ , no one to cheer or curse any verdict. What the hell did it matter anymore? He wondered if pulling this damn eye patch off to answer their questions would make himself any more of a target. It just fucking didn’t matter.

“I have nothing to hide,” said the Colonel, “I’ll be happy to answer your questions.”

Hell, he even managed to answer them civilly.

***

The First Lieutenant _(though discharged from the hospital, was still not in uniform and that was just odd)_ slammed his apathy to the floor and held a gun to its temple until it whimpered a pitiful surrender, and she’d done it with just one name.

Alphonse Elric.

Then it DID matter that he make it though this damn inquisition, it DID matter that he try to retain some position and it DID matter that he hid his mangled face. It mattered, it all mattered. He wanted to see him, to touch his hair and hear his voice and see his eyes, because he should at least get to do that.

 _I will do this for him, for Alphonse, and I will do this for him… for Edward._

They had not found anything at all, other than strange arrays, a buried city and other things equally mysterious, but that didn’t matter because they hadn’t found a body either.

Not finding a body, that DID matter too.

***

When your world is ending, you make tough choices. His first choice, naturally, was to protect everyone around him. He’d made promises to himself that this fall would be made alone. It was important that he not drag anyone into his pit with him. If he could just keep that promise, then whatever else came, he could handle it, because even if he wasn’t there to watch out for Alphonse, the people he saved would be, so that came first.

When your world is ending, you become lasting friends with resignation. To struggle would make it all the more painful and while not a coward, he didn’t see why he should actively seek the hurt. Only foolish men thought pain made them manly and bastard though he was, he had never been called a fool. He saw no reason to seek the title now.

When your world is ending, you make sacrifices. He would sacrifice himself now and let it all be over. He knew all about sacrifices because he had held them in his arms, loved them beyond measure and watched them run away from him in the dimming sunlight. It was something he could live with, maybe even be content with, because he was a good friend of resignation when he thought it through. So yes, things would be alright for him and for those he loved and for those he lost. Equivalent trade was a pretty theory if you could just pretend enough.

But what if the people you want to protect see it differently?

Even though they weren’t allowed in the rooms during the interrogation panels, even though he wasn’t allowed the safety of his uniform, even though they had to sit around on hard, wooden benches for hours, they were there.

They saluted him when he passed them, making his slow progress down the hall, relying on a cane. They always made sure to stand on the right side of the hallway, so he didn’t have to turn his head to see them when he raised it. Each day they were there, he didn’t study the floor as hard as he had the day previously and each day they were there, he fought a little harder. Each day they were there, things became a little clearer.

Roy Mustang was many things to many people and not all of them good, but to a group of men and one woman, with whom he shared his sweat, hopes and dreams in the day to day existence of the mechanics of an office, he was worthy of such devotion.

Also, Edward Elric loved him and damn it, that counted for something.

So the Colonel began attending the interrogations and put Roy Mustang in his place.

***

 _You always were a lucky bastard._

Technicalities saved him: there were no witnesses, it was his word alone. He was a Colonel of some merit in the Amestris army and he was a State Alchemist. He was given these positions of _trust_ by the state that he served, the state that wanted answers and even though he knew there were tensions and suspicions, things were a bit different now. Besides the military’s interests, there was now the Parliament to contend with. The Parliament was new and not seeking enemies to threaten its tentative foothold in state government and was willing to make deals.

For his silence and for his service, he was made a free man.

He was a Colonel still.

***

The train ride was grueling. He had to deal with the irritation of being helped from the car and she made it no better, standing back silently as the conductor took his arm and snapping at him with her eyes. Damn the woman and thank heaven for her, although he wasn’t sure which he thought of more at the moment.

She arranged for a car, her silence was her rebuke, but he talked to the back of her head anyway because he could, because he wanted to. Because he was terrified and because he was sad. She glanced at him in the rearview mirror and they made up again.

He forbade her from driving right up to the porch steps, because driving on people’s lawns was rude. He was hardly an invalid damn it, he had his cane. He could feel her eyes boring right into the small of his back where she knew it would hurt the worst. He managed his way to the porch steps and gripped the rail grimly, looking at the steps warily. There were only two, but he hated them. He set his jaw and scaled this fucking two step wooden mountain, panting a moment on the porch.

The door opened on its own and a small, elderly woman peered up at him from her round glasses. He knew she wasn’t exactly delighted to see him, but he knew she was also not surprised, her permission sought before he even made the journey. But, she was not unfriendly despite her reservations and she stepped back, making a small gesture to invite him in. He limped past her, his dignity limping with him and stood in the generous front room of the Rockbell Automail estate. She closed the front door and wiped her hands on the apron she had around her waist.

“Do you need to sit down Mr. Mustang?” she said, with no rancor in her voice.

“If you wouldn’t mind, Mrs. Rockbell. I’m sorry to impose,” he returned.

“It’s no imposition,” she said, “you were invited to come. I think you know he will not remember you, but you deserve some closure. He’s out back playing, I’ll go to call him in.”

“I think I’ll forgo the chair then,” Roy said, “and come with you, if you wouldn’t mind a bit of a slow pace. I know my body doesn’t look it, but I’m rather eager… and I’m grateful to you. You’re kindness is greater than I deserve.”

She looked at him and smiled a little, making a patting motion with her hand.

“You’re far too young and handsome to be flirting with me,” she said, giving a laugh, “but come this way and we’ll call him. Hopefully he’s in earshot.”

It was not lost on him that the lovely young woman who was Mrs. Rockbell’s granddaughter was nowhere to be seen. He followed her to a back door and looked out onto the back yard. There was no gate to separate it from the fields, for the Rockbell’s kept no livestock. It was a long, rolling sea of grass, dots of wildflower colors and large old trees lazily dotting about until they mingled into a tapestry of foliage in the hillside. It was a beautiful place to grow up.

There were damn steps here too, he glared at them and snorted. The old woman raised her hand to him.

“Wait right here,” and she walked down the two with ease, “I haven’t told him you were coming, so he’s not expecting company.” She gave Roy’s dignity a pat and he found he rather wanted to flirt with her.

She cupped her hands to her mouth and took a deep breath.

“AL!” she bellowed and Roy was impressed with her lung capacity.

For a few long moments there was nothing.

“AL!” she called again, and again he was impressed because this time it was _louder_.

Then a dog topped the small hillock just behind the house, a black dog that he remembered from before. It came half way down and stopped, wagging its tail. Mrs. Rockbell put her hands on her hips.

“What have you done with him Den,” she called with a laugh.

The sunshine burst over the hill, zig zagging its way down. The dog waited until it had just passed and then chased after it. It came running with its shirt tail untucked and its laughter breathless, beaming a well-worn path into the old woman’s arms. Roy marveled that the she could hold it like that and not be blinded by its brilliance, that she could fondly pat its head and then turn it toward him. It scorched him as it took him in, its bronzed eyes widening at the sight. The sunshine had a voice that was clear and high and excited, and didn’t sound like metallic tings at all.

“A PIRATE!” Alphonse Elric yelled excitedly, “A pirate came to visit me?!”

***

They sat on the stoop while Mrs. Rockbell went inside to get them a drink.

“I suppose a Colonel is not as exciting as a pirate,” Roy said, resting his hands on top of his cane as it sat on the bottom step, leaning between his knees.

“No, it’s ok,” Al said, “It’s still exciting. I mean, what would a pirate be doing in Risembool? We are very far away from the ocean.”

“True,” Roy said, “but it’s still a nice place.”

Al’s eyebrow was itchy, so he reached up to scratch it and Roy stared in fascination, studying the profile. The resemblance was becoming painful, but he couldn’t let that show.

“I don’t think your Granny told you,” Roy said, using the term the boy had for Mrs. Rockbell, “but I was a friend of your brother’s.”

 _I loved him more than I can tell you, more than I wish I could tell you._

Al lit up all over. Ed was one of his favorite subjects and he would talk about him eagerly if given half a chance.

His first question to any adult of his acquaintance that he hadn’t seen in awhile and especially to this one he hadn’t even met, was always the same.

“Do you know where he is?” Al said, but braced himself for a negative answer, doing it so physically that Roy knew it was well-practiced.

 _I would give anything…_

“I wish I did,” Roy said, looking at his hands atop the handle of his cane, “because I would go and get him for you.”

 _I would do anything…_

Al slumped and sighed, but smiled again right after.

“Thank you,” he said, “that is very kind of you to offer. You won’t forget it if you do see him, will you?”

 _I would serve any god…_

“I make you a very solemn promise,” Roy said, “that if I see your brother, the very first thing I will do is bring him to you.”

 _I would pay any price…_

Al looked right into his remaining eye. “I believe you.”

 _If I could switch places with you right now._

“I am very honored to have your faith Alphonse, it means a lot to me,” Roy Mustang said, because he would go to his grave willingly to keep this promise to the brother of Edward Elric.

“Well,” Al said and scratched the side of his nose, again fascinating Roy and thrilling him because _Al has flesh to scratch_ , “I just think that I can trust you, it feels right. I’ve watched you while we are talking, so I can tell you wouldn’t make a promise you didn’t intend to keep.”

It was such a very Alphonse thing to say, he almost saw seven feet of armor sitting beside him, but he was so glad he didn’t, so very glad.

Then Mrs. Rockbell brought them iced tea and they sat in companionable silence to drink it.

***

“I want to entrust you with something,” Roy said, looking down at the boy who had politely escorted him back to his waiting car.

Al’s eyebrow rose and Roy stood transfixed for a moment. That Alphonse had facial expressions was still something to be amazed at.

“What is it?” Al asked, all boyish seriousness.

Roy reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small book. It was the type that was a personnel journal and had tied strings on each cover to hold it closed.

“Your brother was a very important man who worked for the state,” Roy said, “and he was trusted with many secrets,” he intoned.

Al’s eyes got huge and he leaned forward a little, hanging on Roy’s words so hard they were holding him up.

“This is a journal he once entrusted to me,” Roy said.

 _I found it pushed under the bed where it must have fallen out of his pocket…_

“But I think it would be better if you have it,” Roy continued.

 _I put it in my dresser drawer, I really intended to give it back…_

“Because as his brother, you are the best person to keep it safe,” Roy informed him.

 _and I will give this to you, even though it’s killing me, because you deserve such a tangible piece of the person who loved you more than his own life..._

“Do you promise to take care of it?” Roy asked the shining bronze eyes.

 _he loved you more than he loved me, and that’s the way it should be..._

“Yes!” Al said all in breathless wonder, eyes fixed on the book Roy held in his hand.

 _and I’m glad you don’t know what happened and what he sacrificed for you._

Roy passed the journal into Al’s eager, small hands.

“Thank you so much Mr. Mustang,” Alphonse said, “I’ll tell him you gave it me to keep for him when he comes home.”

Roy smiled to keep from sobbing.

“You do that,” he said and reached out, as he’d always wanted to, and touched the boy on his dark blonde head, “he’ll be happy that you have it.”

He climbed into the car and didn’t look back as they drove away.

It would have been his undoing.

***

Lazy bones.

 _No, god. No, Ed. Please, not tonight._

You better get up.

 _Please, I have things to do tomorrow, meetings, they are important._

I think if it were up to you, you’d never leave your bed.

 _You never gave me mercy when I asked for it._

Move over, you’re hogging the covers again.

 _I just need to sleep, I’m begging, I’m so tired._

If the automail is so fucking cold, go get a towel to wrap it up in.

 _Please stop, please. Just for tonight, any other night is fine._

I could just leave, you know.

Roy’s eyes flew open and he panted for a moment. He was again curled up tight on that side of the bed, the one he always migrated to, searching for the body warmth his subconscious insisted should be there.

“Don’t leave me,” Roy whispered, breathlessly, “haunt me until I’m dead.”

***

A year passed and then another. Roy weathered them in the service of his country and because he had always been lucky, _(but not in the ways that truly mattered)_ his position not only stabilized, it improved.

When Alphonse Elric appeared before him once more, dressed in a manner that made Ed’s ghost speak to him in daylight, he was a Major General. The boy came to seek answers, having spent time with the woman who had once before been his teacher. He was twelve years old, a year older than he had been the last time he’d made the journey and he stood in Roy’s office with his hands clasped before him, gloved in white. A ponytail swung from the crown of his head and he tried not to look nervous at the many eyes on him, mostly located from a large table set off to one side.

  
“I can sponsor you,” Roy heard his voice say, “if you want to take the exam, Alphonse.”

Alphonse had written letters and as this tragic history repeated itself, this time the letters had reached the right hands. The Major General had expected his arrival, but not expected him to rip into his heart. Alphonse’s brother did that plenty enough for him as it was and he thought it a bit unfair of the boy to emulate him at _everything_.

But, he did as he promised and stood as by as Alphonse passed with flying colors, congratulated all around on yet _another_ progeny found. He was very proud of the boy, who in their right minds wouldn’t be? But, it wasn’t all happiness as it was supposed, because in each step Alphonse took toward a quest that would consume him, Edward’s ghost glared at him from the depths of his dreams.

 _You are so selfish,_ Edward said, _to let him do this._

 _How can I deny him,_ Roy pleaded, _it was just the same with you!_

 _That is your excuse,_ Ed said, _to use my little brother?_

 _I’m not using him, I’m giving him what he wants,_ Roy tried to reason.

 _You keep telling yourself that, but I know all about you. You forget I’m always in here and I can hear your prayers,_ Edward said quietly.

Roy could not respond to that, because he was caught out. He prayed that Alphonse would find him and Edward’s anger would not make him stop.

***

People get lonely.

The Major General was no exception. When things began to happen, very slowly, he did not even recognize the signs at first.

They talked more, they walked closer together and they met for dinner. After all, they’d known each other for years and they were good friends. They shared a fateful night and blood and loss, and they’d shared dreams that were ambitions.

So the first time he kissed her, after accompanying her home from dinner, he though he was living out a death wish. Really, what was he thinking? The woman never went unarmed.

The fact that she kissed him back almost killed him, anyway.

***

He almost broke it off before it had even begun.

The bed was warm again, the company was warmer and he found that he still appreciated the feminine form in all the right ways.

But, Edward stopped talking even when implored. Roy was almost frightened by it and then questioned his sanity for missing it.

So they tried it and Roy let himself become comfortable. Like his relationship before, it was handled very discreetly for she was his subordinate and it was still forbidden. Roy thought it grim irony that he should have to hide every affair he ever had of any lasting merit.

The affections did not impact her office performance, he found out wryly enough. If anything, she became more of a taskmaster and slave driver, but in the night time hours, she would yield a little to him and let him take the lead in the dealing of intimacy.

A year passed them by, with letters from a boy they both doted on and a job they were both devoted to.

***

Roy should know his good things never lasted. She came home with him as usual that night, though at dinner she had seemed a bit different, as if something prayed on her mind. He would take care of it, he always did. With his lips and his body, he would make her forget whatever it was that creased her lovely brow and made distant her brown eyes.

“We need to talk,” she had said as he hung his coat on the mirrored foyer rack.

“Something at the office bothering you?” he asked.

She shook her head no and walked past him into this living room, sitting down on the sofa.

“Do you want some coffee?” he asked, starting to feel a bit nervous.

“No, please sit down Roy, I have to tell you something,” she said.

So he made his way over, intending to sit beside her, but she stopped him with a look, so he moved to his leather chair.

She had her hands fisted and resting on her knees, but her gaze was steady as she looked at his face.

“I have to tell you I’ve decide this is over,” she said, with the same proficiency she did when she told him his daily schedule, “and that I’m sorry it’s turned out to be this way.”

He didn’t know what to say at first, and floundered ungracefully with his mouth open. He did manage to get something out, but it was only one word.

“Why?” he asked bewildered.

“I’m not even sure you are aware of it,” she said, “and that’s the tragic part,” She took a deep breath, warning off his protest with another look, “I am not saying you are using me, or attempting to make me a replacement, because I firmly believe you wouldn’t do that.”

Roy started to feel cold.

“But, there are things that are very telling in the way you treat me sometimes,” she said, “and believe me when I tell you that I know it’s all unintentional. There are things that I am guilty of as well in my dealings with you and I wish I had sorted out my feelings before I let it go this far, but the fact of the matter is this: Roy, I think I loved you for your ambitions. Now that you have none other than Alphonse, I find that what I saw in you back when you were a Colonel is no longer there. So I must conclude that I love the ambitions above the man and I’m sorry for that, because it’s not what you deserved from me.”

Roy sagged back a little in his chair.

“So you think it’s not something that might be worked out?” he asked, not sure why he was asking. Maybe it was some remnant of his ego he though had died long ago.

“No, not when you lie with your face buried in my hair, denying to yourself your wish that it was a deeper shade and belonged to another person,” she said, “I accept that now, because I do know you were trying with all your heart for it not to be so. You are a good person, Roy.”

She knew. How long had she known?

She stood then and he stood.

“I’ll see you in the morning, sir,” she said.

“Major,” he returned.

She walked out of his bedroom, but not out of his life. For that, at least, he was grateful.

After she had gone and he’d had his self pity scotch, he made his way to bed and lay looking at the empty place beside him.

 _I’m sorry,_ Edward said softly, _I tried so hard to stay away. I don’t want you to be lonely._

 _It’s alright, my love,_ Roy said, not in the least bit surprised to hear him again so suddenly, _I’ll always have you. Really, who could ask for more?_

***

It was a sobering realization to him that he would always be alone after that, in the physical sense.

He knew it would be unfair to anyone else he ever tried to get close to, so he accepted it with grace and aplomb and went about his business. He was very grateful to the Major for leveling with him and their working relationship remained the same as ever without a beat skipped, but they no longer had dinner together, and while he missed it, it was only appropriate.

Sometimes in the night, if it was warm enough and he left the window open, he could hear crickets. They would always push his thoughts toward barns which naturally led to thinking about haylofts, a particular hayloft of course, as if he could ever forget it.

He was made anew that night, he was the one shaking and reborn. As he’d looked down at Edward after hearing something he’d heard from him before, but never in the actual words, he’d felt a sense of astonishment and a little fear. Now that the words were spoken aloud, there were no more excuses. As he gently withdrew and sank into the Edward’s waiting arms, he found a touch of hesitation. Here is everything he thought he’d wished for, everything he’d dreamed, offered freely from the lips of the person he longed to hear it from most, and now that he’d gained it, what was he to strive for next?

Edward’s arms folded around him, breath panting in his ear. He lay against him, feeling his body tremble, listening to his swallows and struggles to regain his breath. When he had desired a particular woman and she had fancied herself above him, it had become a most delicious game. Now of course, it never involved a confession as Edward had just made, but it was still the chase that held him fascinated and led him on. It made him think about her, plot to overthrow her and gave him patience to indulge her; it had always been like that. Had he here, on some grander scale, just played this game with a boy’s heart?

Is that all he was in the end? A true predator in every since of the word, that once the prey was taken down, once he’d taken want he wanted, once he heard what he wanted to hear, it was over? Terror gripped him; it seized him in his very core.

Edward turned his face to look at him, eyes half lidded and wet his lips. Roy met his eyes, to see himself in them, to see what Edward saw.

“I told you I’d always tell you when it was great,” the young man said, voice rough from over use, but still riddled with mirth, “and that was great.” He grinned.

 _I am truly reborn._

Roy returned the grin for a moment, and then it was his turn.

“I love you,” he said to the shining gold eyes and all doubts vanished before it.

“This is one of those times when people say it, huh?” Edward said.

“Yes,” Roy sighed, “my only regret is that I can’t feed you.”

Edward snorted a laugh.

***

The floodgates opened as they had before, but the pain came like never before. He thought he’d grieved, yes he thought he had in those hard days when the world pressed down on him and he walked bent with a cane, but he hadn’t truly, he hadn’t wanted to believe.

He was _gone_. He was gone just like that. He had just stood there and watched him go. What could he do? He couldn’t follow, he had his fucking _duty!_ It wasn’t even a duty he’d been commanded to do, it was one that he, himself, had wanted to do! He just let him go, let him run off into oblivion, and for what? For Alphonse of course, for his little brother, his little brother who consumed his life. Oh to be Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric’s great cause. What would it have been like to be that? What did it feel like to know that on your word, he would do _anything_ , just anything! To have that power to keep Ed by his side, why Roy would have fucking killed people, he would have!

But Alphonse Elric was a bigger man, he never took advantage. More the fool he, he let this happen to Edward, he let it happen and who was happier for it? Why Alphonse of course, because he didn’t remember, he didn’t have to live with the memory of throaty moans or sobbing confessions of love. No, he had his perfect memories of just what he wanted to remember and that was it. He could hold a cherished memory of Ed while he was still whole and not bother with the rest of it, it must be fucking _nice!_

Roy Mustang got to his knees on his bed and screamed. Goddamn you Edward Elric, you had shouted your hatred to his face when you were twelve years old and at fifteen, you plotted this fucking revenge. You were a wonderful actor to be sure and you certainly made a stellar performance with your naïveté and your hopeful looks. You drew him right in and you messed with him, you fucking messed with his heart and his soul, and he committed sin for the want of you, but that’s what you had planned. Not only were you going to take from him his ability to ever want anyone else again, you were also going to damn his eternal soul. Congratulations, you did it! You succeeded! You brought the great Roy Mustang down and did to him what no one else had done before.

You made him fall in love!

How fucking dare you, how dare you.

To create him anew and then abandon your creation in the name of love…

But that is what you were all about really, in the end.

You were all about love.

Roy folded himself over his knees, and put his face in his hands.

Forgive me, forgive me. I can be allowed a little anger, yes? I’m so lonely and I’m so tired, but I try. I try, you know that, right?

I don’t mean any of it, I really don’t.

 _I know,_ Edward says to him then, _and I’m so sorry, I wish I had never…_

NO! Don’t say that.

Keep your beautiful apologies; I never wanted them in the first place.

All I wanted was you.

I had you, even for just a little while, and yes it hurts now…

But it was worth it.

It was all worth it.

***

  
At night he had dreams of armor.

His sixteenth birthday had been spent trudging through the rain from a train station toward a tiny town called Pekinpaw.

He was utterly exhausted and saturated by the time he made it, and was being passed door to door. He found that there wasn’t actually an inn, but somebody (although nobody seemed to remember just who) had a room to let.

He had to stand for a moment in front of the little house because it was tilting to the right, so he tilted as well to make sure he was seeing it correctly. The peak of a large barn showed over its battered roof.

He hadn’t intended to stop here, but he accidentally slept though the last stop and had been shaken awake by the conductor at this one. His sore backside informed him grumpily that it would like to sleep in a bed thankyouverymuch, and he gave into it, only to regret it later when he was told the town was four miles away from the station. He wished he had someone to carry him.

He climbed two steps to the porch and froze halfway to the door when it creaked ominously underfoot. He stood there a moment, wondering what to do. He likened it to the time he was standing in the tall grasses near the road side and heard a rattler snake. No matter which direction he had turned, the rattler’s rattle seem to sound on all sides. So after an hour of indecision and the growing insistence of an ever expanding bladder, he’d just made a break and run for it, thankfully not treading on the snake, which would have been worse in the long run for them both.

His bladder had been kind enough to let him make it to a tree that was just down the road before it told him resolutely it was going to ruin his pants.

Here he was again, in the very same situation! How was it he always managed to do this to himself when he had to go to the bathroom? He tried stretching toward the door to see if somehow he could knock on it, but he was just too far away. He tried stretching back toward the steps to see if he could get a foot on them, but again he was just too far away. He was disappointed in himself because he had told himself resolutely that this inability to make snap decisions had to go. There were many times in his past travels where the skill of speedy decision making would have come quite in handy, letting him avoid all manners of unfortunate situations. Like when he missed the train, worrying over the least unhealthy of the stuffed buns the station sold that was going to be his dinner. Or when he just missed meeting with a bibliophile he’d been tracking down for months to inquire on his theories of parallel dimension, because he was caught up in an inner discussion on whether he should or shouldn’t remove his gloves before offering his hand to shake. Little things like that really irked him at times. He knew good and perfectly well he had read it somewhere, this politeness concerning hand wear, but he just couldn’t remember where. Since it was a sub category bit of knowledge, he’d stuck it in a sub category file in the miscellaneous part of his brain where trivia that might be useful _sometime_ in the future was stored. But, the filing system was a bit sloppy and disorganized there, so data retrieval could be questionable. He really should come up with a better system, he supposed. There were so many failings in the current one, but he read so much that he had to put it somewhere and he’d been so busy, he hadn’t really any time to contemplate it.

At one time, he used to jot these things physically down, filing up several small journals with his endless musings on the long train rides from stop to stop, whether on a mission or on his own mission, it didn’t matter. But soon he’d have a dozen or more of the little things and ended up dragging his suitcase instead of carrying it, so he abandoned the idea. He was a resourceful man; he could remember the really important things, but he hated it when the little things suddenly needed to be the important things and was always left flat-footed, digging desperately through a filing cabinet in his own mind.

The only journal he carried with him now rested in the inner pocket of his black jacket next to his heart, where it needed to be. It was a constant comfort and reminder his Pirate had given him so long ago and one that had helped propel him on his journey to begin with. Speaking of his Pirate, he owed the General a newsy letter. He intended to write one the very next day and see it off in the post at the train station. Yes, that was the plan.

His bladder suddenly informed him that he was a scatter-brained twit, and to punish him for idle musings, it was going to ruin his pants unless he found an acceptable tree and very soon, because it was becoming a bit tired of always being put off. So Alphonse Elric took a deep breath, steeled himself, made two very rapid steps to the front door, got his toes on the doorframe and knocked as politely as he could, yet still wishing to convey a sense of sheer urgency _(and terror of falling through the porch)_.

He waited and no one answered. He waited a little more, pressing his thighs together, telling himself to think of very dry things. He knocked again, a little louder this time and shifted his feet, but not too much, and bent over a little. Maybe he should go and find a tree. Then again if he left and the person answered the door while he was gone, they would think it a prank might not answer the door when he came back. But wouldn’t that be better than ruining his pants? Well maybe, but then he’d have to sleep outside and it was raining. _(Dry things!)_ He was already wet and cold, and he hated both those sensations and could just do with out them, _(but thoughts like that were always followed by a No! He was grateful for every sensation, and that always puzzled him, almost like there was another Al inside him that would occasionally offer up these nonsensical tidbits at odd intervals, and it had been happening a lot as of late)_ , but as the saying goes _into every life, a little rain must fall_. Oh no, don’t think about the rain, oh please hurry and open the door. Should he wait or should he go, he worried his bottom lip in indecision.

He was doing it again! As he wondered if he should be angry at himself about it or not, and went to cross reference ‘Anger directed at himself’ with ‘How he should resolve it’, the door opened. A little old man, at least that is what Al assumed, stood in the doorway. He seemed to be held together by his age spots and gave Al a toothless grin.

“Hello young man,” he said, “what can I help you with?”

Al wanted to blurt out _can I use your bathroom oh please get out of my way!_ , but that was downright rude, and he wouldn’t do it.

“Room for let?” he gasped out, jamming his knees together.

The old man said nothing for a long, long moment, and Al began to worry that he had died standing up right there in front of him in his doorway. If he was dead, would it be polite to use his bathroom anyway?

“Oh yes,” the old man suddenly spoke, “I do, would you like it?” he asked pleasantly.

“Yes,” Al said, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, “would you mind terribly if I used your bathroom?” Al begged shamelessly, throwing caution to the wind and hoping he wasn’t making too serious of a generation gap by lack of proper manners to the elderly or some such. OHPLEASE let him say yes!

“Of course,” the old man said, “it’s around back, just come on in when you’re finished; I’ll leave the latch unlocked.”

He shut the door in Al’s face.

***

In retrospect, it was a good thing it was raining so he could hide the evidence.

The little old man had showed him to his room after a protracted twenty minute shuffle down a three foot hallway. It was simple and plain with just a bed, table, chair and a small chest of drawers, but to the tired and damp boy, it seemed like heaven. He thanked the elderly gentleman, declining the offer of tea and looking forward to turning in for the night. He undressed, making sure to keep his pants far to the side of everything else, and wondered if there was a mud sink about that he could use to wash them in come morning. From his suitcase, he retrieved an undershirt and a dry pair of boxers and pulled them on. He then dug through his jacket pocket for his brother’s journal and pushed the oil lamp to the far end of the table where its light could pool on the head of the bed.

He flopped down on it and fussed with a slightly musty pillow, but got comfortable quickly enough. He pulled the journal’s string tie loose and flipped it open about half way in, letting his eyes run over the words and drawings his brother had left behind years ago. He knew this journal by heart, cover to cover, and it might be a bit silly, but he always reread a bit of it each night before he went to sleep. It was filled with arrays, theories and musings. Food he’d had at lunch that day, or something someone had said. He wrote about the weather or the smell of a train car, a rock that got into his boot, or any little thing that caught his fancy. The other thing that intrigued Alphonse about the journal was his own private game of speculation on what might have been on the pages that were missing. He could run is finger between certain pages and feel the jagged edges of what used to be an entry in his brother’s journal.

It made him a bit angry at first, to think that pages had been deliberately removed from it, and he wondered if it was the Major General who had done so, but then he figured that maybe there were reasons. After all, his brother was an important person and worked for the state, like he did himself now, but he probably held a much higher position and state secrets are state secrets that you don’t even have the luxury of sharing with your sibling, at least not when he was just 10 years old. But now he was sixteen and he determined, in his letter to the Pirate tomorrow, he was going to ask after these journal pages that should rightfully be his. He yawned, a sure signal that he should put a cap on it for the night and tied the journal back up, laying it on the table. He turned the oil lamp down until the flame went out, got under the covers and quickly feel to sleep.

***

 _Edward stood staring at a towering mountain of crates, none of them labeled. Someone must hate me, is what he said. Alphonse was looking down at him from a height and though that maybe he was standing on a crate. It’s cosmic payback, he decides, telling Ed so. Ed, in his sarcastic way, asks him to quit trying to be a comfort. When he moves, he hears clanking like he’s wearing armor, but it’s not heavy and his movements aren’t hindered. When he speaks out loud, like he did to Ed, his voice always sounds like he’s speaking into a bucket. Alphonse heaves a sigh and follows his brother into the barn._

When he opened his eyes, he met a pair of slightly running brown ones.

“How are you today young man? Would you like some breakfast?” the little old man asked.

“Yes” he replied without even thinking, then realized he’d done it, a snap decision in spur-of-the-moment fashion and got a bit excited. He sat up on the bed as the little old man turned to go.

By the time the little man was out in the hall, Al was mostly dressed. He took his dirty pants outside, wearing his sleep undershirt and his spare pants, and indeed found a mud sink with half a cake of soap. He scrubbed the pants as best he could, rinsing and wringing them out, then left them over a line tied between to sapling trees at the corner of the house and hurried back inside. With profuse apologies to the little man, he squeezed by him in the hallway, finished dressing, dug in his suitcase for his pad of paper and precious pencil nub, squeezed by the little man again with more apologies and found the kitchen.

He cooked up breakfast, set the table, poured the coffee and sat down when the little old man finally made it over.

“Will you look at that,” he said in wonder, “I must have cooked it before I woke you,” he slowly sat down into the chair opposite Al.

“You must have,” Al said with a smile, the little old man was so pleasant and well meaning that Al couldn’t help but like him enough to let him think whatever he wanted, “and I really appreciate you taking care of me like this,” he said.

“My pleasure, young man,” the little old man said, “it’s so nice of you to visit again after these few years. When did you give up your armor and where is your brother?”

Alphonse stared at him across the table, and lowered the toast he’d started to raise to his mouth.

“I’m sorry sir,” Alphonse said slowly, “but did you say suit of armor?”

“Why yes,” the little old man said, bursting the yolk on his fried eggs and dipping a toast edge in, “you came here after a book, I believe. Your brother and yourself searched all the crates out in the barn.”

Alphonse began taking notes.

“Will you tell me about it?” he asked the little old man, “as much as you can remember?”

The little old man nodded. “I’m a bit slow on some things nowadays,” he said, “but my long term memory is as sharp as a tack!” He grinned, toothless and happy.

The letter that reached the General in Central a few days later was more frantic than newsy.

***  
It was a snap decision. Even as the little old man prattles on, the name _Mr. Burt!_ sears through his mind and he knows this man, but how can he? He’s on his feet and out the door, running to the back of the house where barn in his dreams stands. He goes to it and struggles a bit with the doors, when last time it was so easy. He gets them open and staggers back, seeing crates and crates and crates and crates, none of them marked. It’s some cosmic payback, he is sure, but he doesn’t find it comforting.

Alphonse Elric, not given to emotional outburst in the slightest, opens his mouth up and screams.

***

Alphonse was starting to remember, but by the letter he’d received, Roy could sense the boy’s confusion and maybe a bit of fear. He hoped Alphonse would head back to Central immediately, because he would like to have the boy close now. He worried for him.

In the four years since Alphonse had begun his quest, many things had happened, not the least of which was his promotion to full General a bit earlier in the year. This gave him the power to be hopelessly indulgent of the boy, who he has grown to love just as hopelessly, and looked forward to his long, rambling letters. Alphonse was a romantic at heart, but brilliant and sharp for all his musings. He had fascinating theories on his brother’s disappearance, all of which Roy let’s the tax payers fund. Alphonse’s scribbled musings of half-formed ideas was such manna, that assessment boards wept with pleasure, so there were no worries in having to justify the boy’s budget, who was not even rank conscious in the least and could not give his proper rank at any given time. He just stuck to Major when referring to himself, because that is what his brother was.

But the boy didn’t return right away and there was no way to find him because Roy had never made him use proper channels, which he regretted now, but what could he do about it other than wait and hope and wonder? If he got desperate, he could send Havoc after him as he used to send him after his brother, but for the moment, he decided to wait and listen.

  
***

“Mr. Mustang,” a young woman says through the phone lines. It’s very late and he’s very tired. He tries to not yawn impolitely in her ear.

“Yes?” he mutters, scratching his belly. Very, very few people have his home telephone number, so he knows this voice, but he’s too sleep lethargic to properly care and doesn’t want to guess. “Who is this?” he asked so he’ll know who to bless out at the office tomorrow.

“Winry Rockbell,” she says. He’s instantly awake.

“To what do I owe this honor?” he asks quietly, not sure what to think.

“A dead man called me,” she says, her voice shaking, “and I would think it was some horrible cruel prank, but he sounded so… it sounded like _him_ , it really did. He asked me all about Al, but I didn’t tell him much because I was scared and he said he understood. He says he’s in Central and he says he needs to find you, only he can’t. He wants you to meet him right away, but I don’t know if I want to tell you where. Maybe it’s a trick? I just don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have called you…“ she stops a moment and sniffles.

“Do you…“ he can’t believe he can actually speak, “do you believe it’s him?”

She is silent for a long moment. “Yes.”

“Tell me where he is,” the General asks, and she passes along the name of the hotel lobby the call came from. Roy doesn’t even remember hanging up.

His heart hammers. For a moment he stands, unable to even thing of what to do next. He turns a complete circle of confusion, an odd habit that is reserved for only the most sensory overload of situations. As he stands and has a meltdown, his instincts take over.

 _Get dressed._

He can do that and does, but sloppily and clumsily. He’s so hurried and jerky with his movements.

 _Go to him._

He runs out the bedroom door.

  
***

As a General, he was expected to have a General’s abode near other Generals for some reason, and he’d long given up fighting such things, so it’s almost a forty five minute ride just to get to the city. He is glad that he always took it upon himself to drive, even when he could have had a driver. Because of this habit, he has a vehicle at his residence.

He is not very familiar with the area of town the address leads him to, all he knows is he is looking for a hotel, The June. He moves from street to street, looking at the older buildings huddled together as if jealously guarding a secret from any random passerby on the streets. When he finally locates the street named in the address, he abandons the car at the curb and goes on foot. It’s easier to read the building numbers and signs that way.

When he slams into The June, he is met only by the startled desk clerk who squawks like he is being murdered when Roy grabs him by the shirt front and screams in his face.

Yes there was a man here, yes he used the phone, yes he was a blonde, yes he was short, no he didn’t know where he had gone, but maybe Roy should go look for the poor guy, because he looked like the ground had opened wide and spat him out.

  
  


* * *


	17. Chapter 17

“Doesn’t make sense…” Alphonse Elric mumbled, checking over his own carefully written notes, “none of this makes sense… oh wait… past life regression? I’ve read about that… or have I?” he made more furious notes on the paper, then rested his chin on the table and looked at Mr. Burt who was sitting across from him, smiling.

“Mr. Burt, can I ask you a few more questions?” Alphonse asked, not bothering to raise his chin. He considered it like a work out for his face, speaking and making his chin do push ups as it were, “because I’m still not sure why it is you know me, or how it is I was here before in a suit of armor, or why I knew about the barn full of crates. Do you have a little yellow cat?” Al cocked his eyebrow.

Mr. Burt kept his same squinty-eyed smile. After a moment, Al realized he’d fallen back asleep, so he sat up slowly and pulled over his notes. He’d gone through his pad of paper, some paper Mr. Burt had from an old stationary set that was yellowed and stained but still useable, the backs of some old receipts Mr. Burt had that he said he no longer needed, the backs of some envelopes he had in his suitcase, a length of paper intended for service in Mr. Burt’s outhouse and out of desperation, the inner covers of Ed’s journal.

Even the most inconsequential thing seemed important now, the most trivial of circumstances, the slightest peep of the little voice his mind _(that sounded disturbingly like himself)_ had ever made, waking or dreaming, seemed monumental. He glanced at his notes, tapped his worn pencil nub on the paper and tried to remember more. This was all very fascinating information; could it possibly be connected to his brother’s disappearance?

Here he was presented with the theory that perhaps, he himself, Alphonse Elric, had lived a double life. Sure it seemed far fetched, what with a doddering old man who couldn’t remember if he’d cooked breakfast or not saying he recognized Alphonse from over six years ago when he had supposedly been clad in armor _(7 FOOT armor)_ … It would have been so easily dismissed if not for the _dream,_ and when he thought about the dream, he realized that while some details where hard and tangible, like the barn and the crates, others where questionable and did not concur with his own recollections.

The first and foremost of these of course, was his brother, Edward.

Alphonse remembered a boy about his own age with wide, large eyes, a round face and blonde hair that hugged his cheeks. Someone who ran beside him, plotted with him, dreamed with him and fought with him on occasion. The Edward of his dreams was taller, older, his face wasn’t as round, his hair was long and braided, and his eyes, while still large, were entirely different.

While his younger self, or the Edward of Al’s own recollections, had eyes that were full of hope, happiness and even with tears, they still held optimism. The eyes of the Dream Edward, however, told a different story.

Now, Alphonse prided himself on the ability to read people. He was really very good at it and his abilities had been called upon by the General in the past. He would sit beside him in some cabinet meeting or other and whisper his impressions of each person as they took the podium to make their speeches. The General relied on these observations when his turn came to speak if there was one faction or another he needed to placate or threaten without seeming to. Alphonse rather liked it when the General called him things like ‘invaluable’ and ‘brilliant’ and was glad this little knack was just the thing to ingratiate him to his superiors.

But could his talents be applied to his own subconscious? That was the true question. It could be a form of narcissism to suppose one could analyze oneself and find true hidden value. He tapped the scrap of box he was now using, having fished it from the trash, carefully ripped it apart and flattened it. He wrote ‘Alchemists Analyze Thyself’ on the top of it and then put his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his palm.

Back to the matter of the Dream Edward and his telling eyes. Al scribbled down a few initial impressions: Dream Edward’s eyes held hope, but it was a guarded thing, not something he let out too often in the fear it could be dashed. Yes, they held some measure of happiness, at least when they were turned on Alphonse and were accompanied by the helpful support of his smile, but it was optimism in measure, much like hope. It was stingily sequestered and doled out in spoonfuls, not immediately apparent. There were other elements the Edward of his recollections didn’t have.

There was determination, the bully of all the other things that might be showing there and there was devotion so vast that one might easily get lost in it. There was sadness tangled all around its lover guilt, neither of which were shy things, they did not hide their coupling from the world. His eyes danced with intelligence, not that they hadn’t before, but they spoke of knowledge much older than the youthful face surrounding them. Then there was a so small guarded treasure lurking, just at the edges. Some iota of something Alphonse couldn’t quite figure out and it was not a _bad_ thing, far from it, it was more like a longing. A longing and a certainty of something he was guarding in his heart, which he wanted to be his alone. He was certainly allowed that, in every way. Alphonse wondered just what had put that there, for it seemed so at odds with its ocular neighbors.

He looked at his long list of points and ticked them off one at a time by pointing at them with his pencil and nodding to make sure he had them properly categorized. Even if Dream Edward turned to be mere speculation, Alphonse wanted to remember him. He was certain that he would love his elder brother no matter what. He might like to meet this Edward too, even if only in his dreams once in a while.

***

The General stood in the middle of the street and struggled to calm his breathing. He slowly moved his eyes from one dark building to another and let his ears move with them, staring hard into every shadow and tilting his head to every slight sound. The street itself was non-descript. Besides the hotel, it contained dull blocked office buildings and a restaurant, all long since closed up for the night. The end where he had left the car opened onto the main street, the other end seemed to trail off on a small side road that looped behind the hotel, probably only for deliveries.

But the General was a military man, and though the he was a man in love with a ghost, he saw no reason to be one himself. If this was just some cruel joke or lure, he had come waltzing in willingly. He stepped off the street and onto the sidewalk where there was some light from one pitiful street lamp a little ways away. He reached into his pocket and silently cursed himself. Stupid! Stupid to do this, to come without his gloves! This is what being a sentimental fool got him! He looked back toward the car, if it was Edward and he had wanted to see him, why was he hiding from him now? The best thing was to withdraw and check this out again tomorrow in the daylight.

He warily sidestepped down the sidewalk before turning to stride for the vehicle.

“Colonel,” a voice said hoarsely, off to the left on his blind side. He turned abruptly, jaw set, and fingers still digging in his pocket as if they could magically produce a glove. There was a figure leaning against the wall between the hotel and the business next door and the General took a few steps back, the voice was unfamiliar.

“You’ve been given bad information,” Roy said, “its General now. Who are you and what do you want?”

 _I will not give you the satisfaction of acknowledging you lured me here using my dead lover’s name._

“Bad information? You ass,” the voice said again, raw and scratchy, “your goddamn ego sure hasn’t suffered. Haven’t spoken to me for years and the first thing you make sure you do is correct me on your damn rank.”

The voice was unfamiliar, but it had familiar touches. Or was that just what he wanted to hear? The dead don’t come back to life, at least not as anything you’d _want_ to come back to life. He swallowed down memories then, a mansion, blood, the crack of a child’s neck, a thing with a deadly eye. The figure shoved itself off the wall and moved in a jerky, rolling motion. It stepped forward on its right leg, but threw his left leg forward and put it down hard, leaning forward into it to keep it from folding back. After about five of these jerky repetitions, it staggered out into the light.

Tangled light hair hung over his shoulders, he wore disheveled clothing and he seemed to be clutching a useless arm to his side, but he raised his face and in the wane light, golden eyes flashed.

“Well get the fuck over here,” Edward Elric growled, “because I think I’m going to fucking pass out.”

***

Time stood still.

All around him sound fled, light dimmed and even the ground beneath his feet gave way, because nothing had prepared him. Edward swayed to some unseen tempo and still, Roy could not move, stuck literally to the spot as every sense screamed joy and disbelief.

The dead do not come back to life.

He had grieved, he had accepted for brief periods of time, he had his precious voice that spoke to him in his mind, but he didn’t have the reality of this man silhouetted in sparse lamplight. He didn’t know what to do, he would have done of one of his circles, but his body kept pointing in the direction of Edward _(Edward! EDWARD!)_ and refused to turn away.

Edward seem to make a disgruntled sound that turned into half a gasp, then he did that laborious move again, throwing out his left leg _(automail malfunction)_ and making that slow, rolling gate. Then he seemed to shudder all over and simply fell.

Roy blinked as he hit the pavement. His body felt the tremor of the impact all the way through the concrete and he _moved_ , too late to prevent the fall, but crossing the few feet between them seemingly instantaneously. He went down on his knees and hovered, not touching, but staring at the profile obscured by heavy golden hair. With his hands raised, he reached down within a mere touch of the body there and he held them in limbo, trembling.

 _When I touch you, you’d better be real._

He laid his hands on Edward’s side and back, and they were warm and solid. The General heard a keening sound, but it did not sound like it was coming from Edward. In fact, he felt his own throat work. He rolled him slowly onto his back and ran a hand behind his neck, lifting his head from the pavement. His one black eye traced a face that was the same and yet different all at once. He looked pale, but it was hard to tell in the bad light. He was panting slightly through parted lips and his eyes looked dark and bruised, as well as his cheekbones, making them prominent on his face.

Edward’s eyes fluttered open suddenly and he looked unfocused for a moment, seeming to hitch a frightened breath, but then focusing on and scowling at the face hanging above his own.

“You bastard, you let me fall,” he said accusingly.

“I’m sorry,” Roy yelped, “but will you forgive my utter ASTONISHMENT that you are alive?” his stress making his voice high.

Edward snorted and winced.

“Some boyfriend you are,” he groused raggedly and coughed, “disappear for six years and you went all soft in the head,” Edward’s eyes settled on the dark side of Roy’s face, “and you are definitely telling me about that.”

Roy’s mouth kept opening and closing and one of Edward’s eyebrows quirked up.

“And you’re doing a damn fine fish out of water impersonation,” he said, “I knew you’d be surprised to see me, but I didn’t think it would make you stupid,” Edward’s mouth quirked at the sides.

“You shut the fuck up,” Roy suddenly said, “how dare you show back up, take ten years off my life and start insulting me,” Roy pulled Edward up against his chest, ran a hand under his legs to the back of his knees and heaved to his feet. “And you’ve put on weight.”

“Now who’s being insulting… AH!” Edward tried to bite back the gasp of pain and clamped his jaw shut.

“We have to get you to a hospital,” Roy said, voice dropping to concern immediately.

“No,” Edward gasped out, “can’t, your place.”

Roy started for the car, grunting.

“What do you mean no? You’re hurt,” he said.

“I’m AWOL, or have you forgotten _General_? I don’t want to advertise myself right now, anyway. It’s not as bad as it looks, I’m being a baby,” He flopped his head against Roy’s shoulder, “and I want to go home.”

“AWOL,” Roy said with half a snort, “no my love, you are buried with a very nice marker, I’ll take you to visit it. You better not be lying to me about worse than it looks,” he wanted to take Edward home and never let him out of his sight again.

“Have I ever lied to you before?” Edward said weakly as Roy set him on his feet and leaned him against the car to get the passenger door open.

“Yes,” Roy said, “to get what you wanted, to get around me, to avoid work,” he said opening the door wide and turning to pull Edward over.

“I mean besides all that, that was just business,” the blonde said dizzily, then winced and gasped as Roy got him into the car.

“Yes,” Roy said again, “when you talked to me in my head,” he ignored Edward’s raised eyebrow and quirked lips, “you were a lot nicer.”

“How is that a lie,” Edward asked before Roy shut him in.

“I think lulling me into a false sense of security by being nice to me in my head was setting me up for the ambush of reality you’ve just pulled on me. Deception is a lie, Edward,” and he shut the car door.

***

“I need to go back to Central,” Alphonse announced, “and have a discussion with my Pirate, he’s holding out on me.” Even though Mr. Burt was asleep upright in his chair, Alphonse found it comforting to have someone to announce his plans to.

“A pirate, you say?” Mr. Burt wasn’t as asleep as Alphonse had assumed, “You have a very interesting life, young man. Do you think he’ll be able to tell you about the troubles you are wearing so openly on your face?”

Alphonse blinked in surprise and put his hand to his face, actually expecting to feel something there. But then he caught himself _(metaphorically, not literally. Your manners are the ruin of your good sense, at least that’s what Winry says. Not that she is any sort of shinning example of politeness…)_ and lowered his hand sheepishly, then he stood.

“I think so. I think he knows a lot more than he lets on and he knew my brother as well,” Alphonse heaved a little sigh, “but every time I broach the subject with him, his soul hangs its head, “ Al looked at Mr. Burt, “That’s probably not an analogy that makes any sense.”

Mr. Burt still smiled. “It just means he’s sad and that you must think very much of him indeed to see it, because he tries not to show it on the outside.”

“Exactly,” Al said, “he thinks he’s so strong. He is, really, but I wonder why my brother is the person who has made him wrap himself up in self-imposed misery, it’s very puzzling.”

Alphonse gathered up his notes, stacking them neatly and chronologically.

“At any rate, this armor business is making me all out of sorts and that’s not a feeling I like,” Al told him, “it plagues me and when things plague me, I have to cure them. _(Like finding my brother, that is my most deadly plague of all)_ ”

“I once had another life too,” Mr. Burt said, “and when I think about it sometimes, it’s like a dream.”

Alphonse didn’t want to appear rude, but he did want to be in a hurry.

“I’m going for my things,” he said, “please keep talking, I can hear you down the hall,” and he trotted to the room that had been his for the last couple of days.

“Once, I built bridges,” the old man said, “I relied on my talents and my intelligence to tell me how to make them. I spanned a great many mysteries in my time. Dry valleys, tumbling rivers, nothing could get in my way, but then one day my bridges fell down,” he stopped, seeming to catch his breath and prod his memory, “and many people questioned if I should have made bridges at all. It was painful to have so much of my life inside these creations and to hear that no one truly understood,” he trailed off then, but Alphonse’s footsteps sounded behind him.

“No, please go on. I merely stopped so I could hear you better, the floor creaks very loudly there and I didn’t want to miss a single word,” Al sat down in the chair opposite him again.

“You understand people, I think maybe too well,” Mr. Burt said, “your Pirate sees this, and there are things that maybe he doesn’t want to have to share with you. Maybe it hurts him that you understand, maybe he wants you to be a little selfish,” Mr. Burt smiled.

Alphonse tugged his lower lip and mulled this over.

“To share something is to halve the burden,” the old man said, “it will still be heavy, but you can bear up under it better when you are in like company.”

Alphonse felt his heart skip. He’d left the General to carry the loss of Edward all alone. Alphonse felt the loss too, keenly and painfully, but it was a soft-tinged thing, a gentle memory as well as an insistent push, but what was it that the General carried exactly? He was one of those infuriating adults who had the privilege, Alphonse found at times, he would give his very own right arm for, he knew Edward of the _after_.

There was this great _after_ Alphonse hungered for. They tried to hide it from him, but how could they? The Edward of his memories was all of eleven years old and he couldn’t possibly be all that Alphonse had come to learn he was without this mysterious _after_. This plagued him too, it burned the edges of all common sense _(see Winry, I **do** have some)_ with it’s very illogical existence. There was no Happily or Ever, but there was an _After_ , and Alphonse was living it without Edward. When he found Edward and brought him home, he would force the two rogue words into submission.

But just the thought of the General being lonely was enough to make Al’s breath hitch once, and here he though he was so understanding. He was, but it was too much.

 _I always said you were polite enough, but oh no, you always push the envelope!_ the voice in his head said, the one that was getting quite bold as of late.

“Nothing wrong with being polite,” he muttered aloud.

 _No there isn’t, except the way you do it. It’s like a shoe maker making you shoes for all six feet. That’s four too many, and it makes you run in circles and pee your pants. I hardly see how this is good._ the voice put it’s hands on hips.

Alphonse felt the color in his cheeks.

“Shut up,” he muttered again and then covered his mouth with his fingers, widening his eyes at Mr. Burt. “I’m so sorry,” he rushed out, “that wasn’t intended for you at all, but for myself, you see. I’m having very unorganized thoughts today.”

Mr. Burt just continued smiling.

“I think perhaps you are giving yourself some good advice. You should follow it,” the old man said.

Perhaps he was right.

***

  
Mr. Burt accompanied him to the porch steps, holding onto his elbow.

“Be careful here,” the old man said in his cheery way, “these steps are a doozy,” and he put one little old shaky foot down, squeezing Alphonse’s elbow who smiled and grinned inside.

Mr. Burt was just a wonderful person.

When they had gained the yard, they both looked back for a moment at the house.

“I want to do something for you,” Alphonse said to Mr. Burt, “other than pay you for my room, if you’ll permit me,” he smiled.

“What would you like to do for me young man?” Mr. Burt said, “Just your company has been blessing enough.”

Alphonse shrugged off his black jacket and pushed up his shirt sleeves. He reached into this pocket and pulled out a pair of white gloves, the palms of which were embroidered with arrays _(thank you Granny)_ and slipped them on.

Decompose, understand, reconstruct. Yes, he knew this. He gave himself a shake, making his pony tail swing, and walked back toward the house. He slapped his hands together in front of him and knelt, slamming them onto the ground.

The house shuddered and groaned, rolled and flowed. It forgot itself and then remembered itself and then was given permission to embellish itself, which it did with lovely scroll work gracing the railings of its newly seated porch. Alphonse rose to his feet slowly, wiped the back of a hand over his cheek and turned to look at Mr. Burt.

“A talent beyond your talents, you are a young man of many, many layers,” Mr. Burt says, “and I think this is equivalent exchange enough for the time you spent with me, although somehow I feel I owe you more. Your company was a balm.”

In that instant, Alphonse knew he had yet another newsy letter to write once a month like all the others, but he really didn’t mind.

Mr. Burt was looking at his new house and he leaned slightly, just a little to the left. Alphonse’s eyebrows rose and he turned to look at his creation.

The Theorem Alchemist leaned just a bit to the left as well.

***

“Where are we going?” his voice was still hoarse and scratchy, but it was real and alive and it ran over every nerve Roy Mustang had. He risked another glance over at his passenger, but it was dangerous, they’d already almost hit one lamp post.

“Home,” Roy said, “that’s what you asked of me.”

“But we’re leaving the city,” Edward said, using the door window as a pillow for his head.

“I live in the suburbs,” Roy replied, “Hawkeye thought a General in an apartment was a court marshalling offense.”

“So whipped,” Edward muttered. “Tell me about Al,” he said softly.

“What’s to tell?” Roy replied, “He waltzed into my office and gave me heart palpitations, he had the exam board eat out of the palm of his hand, every female officer within miles fall madly in love with him, he breezed through any assessment offered without even trying and he looks so much like you I want to claw my remaining eye out. He out smarts, out charms and out shines even the most polished brass, and can tell you, without any uncertainty, not only what is on their minds but what they had for dinner last week. He has completely besotted me to being a fan of letter writing and he’s never around long enough for any true satisfaction of his presence. He has this inner fire to find his missing sibling and it’s always written very plainly on his features. He loves his brother so much that for the last four years, he has been on a ceaseless journey and has developed theories that no sane man could read without falling into gibbering incomprehensibility, and not from lack of coherence, but from the sheer force of his logic. He is, without a doubt, bloody fucking brilliant and he owns his superiors, including me, with panache enough to woo marble into weeping. Since you had to go and remove yourself from my presence, I can only now humbly thank you for leaving him behind, because truly Edward, he couldn’t be more perfect, and that my love, that is why you’re a goddamn miracle.”

Edward was silent for several long moments and when he spoke, he tried to hide the tell tale catch of emotion in his breathing.

“I always knew I loved you for a reason,” he finally said.

***

“Quit being so fucking noble, I can walk,” Edward growled when Roy helped him out of the car and made the motion to pick him up.

“Quit being so fucking stubborn, just let me carry you,” Roy growled back and moved to pick him up again.

Edward fought him, so Roy stood back and folded his arms. Edward squared both is jaw and his shoulders, then took one rolling step forward while Roy studied his fingernails and sniffed. Edward grit his teeth and didn’t give him the satisfaction of glaring at him, instead he took a deep breath and another step. Roy reached out casually, pressed his fingers to Edward’s shoulder and pushed him right over into the grass of the manicured lawn.

“YOU BASTARD,” Edward howled and rolled onto his stomach to get his flesh knee under him, but Roy put a casual boot on his upturned butt and pushed him over again. Edward snarled and panted and tried again, and again.

“I can keep this up all night,” Roy said flatly.

“FINE, if you’re so eager to goddamn paw me right off the bat, then carry me,” Edward screamed from his front lawn, “I see what I was to you all along,” he yelled again, then dropped his voice, “you really are just a slimly pervert, it’s what I expected,” he panted.

Roy regarded Edward looking up at him from the damp grass and put his hands on his hips.

“And just what is it that you are to me?” he asked, Edward couldn’t see him arch his eyebrow in the dark, but he did it anyway.

“Bed toy,” Edward sneered and wiggled all around, reaching up with his good arm.

“Try ulcer,” Roy said and caught his hand before Edward could jerk it away.

***

Roy got him in the door, then turned and kicked it shut. He grunted and bounced Edward once to redistribute the weight on his arms and Edward gasped out loud.

“I’m sorry,” Roy said, “I’m sorry, Ed.”

“Stop apologizing,” Ed grit through his teeth, “I’m fine,” he blatantly lied, “you’re the one who wanted to carry me, so suck it up.”

Roy walked to down the long central hallway and Edward twisted his head back and forth, giving a low whistle when they passed the large arched entrance to the living room.

“You’ve really done well for yourself,” he said on his journey, “this is a really nice house.”

“It wasn’t my idea,” Roy said, “Hawkeye picked it out,” he grunted.

They passed a few more doorways and Ed jiggled in his arms a bit.

“You got a den!” he said excitedly as Roy turned to take him into the bedroom.

***

He sat him very carefully on the edge of the bed and was sorry to have to put him down. Ed looked up at him and gave him a half smile then. Roy shook his head and shrugged off his coat, tossing it onto a wing-backed chair that occupied one corner of the wall near the head of his bed. He knelt and worked a muddy, scuffed, short, brown boot off Edward’s right foot and then turned to the other one. When he gripped the heel, the whole leg lifted unhelpfully, so he lowered it and tried again. Edward tried to help, reaching across his body and pushing down on the knee, but Roy finally took hold of the artificial limb about the ankle and worked the boot off. The foot was rounded and indented like a foot should be, but it was molded and there was no effort to mimic a true foot in it. Roy felt saddened by it and was a bit startled that he missed the automail. It had been such a part of Edward.

He stood up then, leaned over and dug under the shirttails of a filthy, white, button-down shirt that was untucked and hanging beneath an equally tattered vest. He found a belt buckle and was able to unhook it unseen because it wasn’t the doubled-looped, lovemaking-hampering puzzle like the other one Ed used to wear, and that somehow saddened him too. He pulled it free, let it drop and then undid the button at the top of Ed’s pants. He decided to leave them for a moment and instead worked on the buttons of the vest. When he got to the top button, Ed bowed his head down suddenly and planted a kiss on the fleshy part of Roy’s thumb, and Roy began to tremble.

Delivered to his arms was this bruised and battered angel, with its dirty, dull and tangled yellow hair, and its bruises and smears of red that could only be blood. It stank and its clothes were ripped and tattered, but it was the most precious thing he’d ever had the allowance to set his eye on. The reality was beginning to catch up to him, up until now he’d been living out this wild fantasy, complete with Edward’s barbs and jibes, but now the dreams were fading away and he was left with this creature before him. He licked his lips, pushed the vest over the angel’s shoulders and began to unbutton the shirt, his breathing was coming in hitches now and his shaking fingers were having trouble with the buttons. The angel raised its flesh hand and laid its fingers on the outside of his wrist, rubbing up and down in a gesture that spoke of its wishing to comfort Roy’s distress, but Roy knew it was hopeless. He got the shirt open, and looked at the leather strap that was stretched across the angel’s upper chest. It had a buckle like a belt as well, and it had sweat stains along its edges.

“Help me take the arm off,” Ed said softly, “it stopped working anyway.”

Roy swallowed hard and fumbled with the smaller buckle, getting it after two or three times.

“Are you ok?” Ed said.

Of all the stupid questions… He wasn’t the one covered in purple and blue and red, he wasn’t the one that could barely walk or had a dead weight for a right arm. He grit his teeth.

“I’m fine,” he blatantly lied.

The skin beneath the strap was pale, smooth and almost shiny. He touched his fingertips to it briefly before pushing the shirt off Ed’s shoulders and going to draw it down his arms, but it seemed to snag on something and Edward gasped again. Roy pulled back and looked at him for a long moment, then put a knee beside Ed on the bed and leaned behind him, lifting the heavy blonde mane. Dried blood lay under it in long stripes that cemented the shirt to Edward’s back. Roy laid the hair back over it gently and pushed off the bed to look at Edward.

Edward bit his lip.

“Liar!” Roy said and pointed, “You told me it looked worse than it was! You duped me out of taking you to the hospital!” he turned as if to get his coat.

“No Roy, please don’t make me,” Ed wailed desperately, “I don’t want to go, I want to be here with you and I want to see Al and I don’t want to go to the hospital because they won’t let you stay with me the whole time! I just wanted to get back here to Al and to you and I clawed and scraped and pleaded and please don’t do this to me now,” and Edward Elric’s voice rose to hysteria. Roy had NEVER heard that before. It shot straight though his chest and pinned him to the wall behind him, and he could only stand and stare at him, “Please Roy, PLEASE! I’m SCARED,” Ed slammed his jaw shut and tried to hold it all in and his whole body shook with it. Roy was released and moved to him, careful of the wounds that lay across his back, he pulled Edward to his chest and made the soft crooning noises that he used to make to a sobbing teenager.

“I won’t,” Roy said, “I won’t make you go. But, you’ll have to put up with me and my clumsy attempts to play nurse maid,” he kept his voice as normal as he could and gently rubbed Edward’s sides slowly, up and down, up and down and Edward stopped shaking after a few moments, his breathing returned to normalcy.

“Well, I’ve survived worse,” he said muffled in the General’s chest.

***

Alphonse gave up reading and slouched, watching the scenery outside his passenger car window. He would be in Central tomorrow and he looked forward to it. It had been a while since he’d been back and the mess hall would have noodles and meat sauce because tomorrow was Thursday.

He worried his bottom lip a bit. He’d really rather just go and stay with the General, that way he could get the man alone enough to start asking him questions. Discreetly of course, because direct questions made the General dance his sidestep and made him flippant and disgustingly charming. He could dance the dance of evasion very well and Alphonse found that while he wasn’t attracted to men, if he were, the General was quite the looker. He wasn’t above admitting when there were attractive qualities to anyone, because there wasn’t any reason not to. The General could radiate charm, ooze confidence and it was naturally the reason why he was a General.

But, he always felt like he was imposing, even though the very posh guest room that the General insisted was his was so alluring and attractive, almost as the company of the man himself. It was stocked with paper, lots and lots of paper, and a cup jammed to the stressing point with finely-sharpened pencils and heavy antique wooden bookshelves, weighted down under many a gold letter-etched spine, all for Alphonse’s perusal. It was a very well laid, if obvious, trap and Alphonse let himself be caught in it from time to time, if only to please his Pirate.

But eventually the sad and longing looks the Pirate tried so hard to hide would drive Alphonse back to his dorm room.

It was more than tempting this time, though, and he decided, as much as he liked noodles with meat sauce, that he would forgo headquarters and get a cab directly at the station.

***

  
Wet cloths lay directly over the two long wounds across Edward Elric’s back, they were warm as they worked the magic of loosening the shirt from his skin and despite it all, they still felt like heaven.

He was home.

He could hear the General moving around behind him, the rustle of fabric as he gathered up the remainder of the clothes he had been wearing, the clink and clunk sound as he picked up and moved the broken mechanical arm and the equally broken mechanical leg.

Edward was naked except for the shirt that loved him so much it wished to remain melded to him, or had somehow gained vampiric tendencies and was slowly leeching him dry, but even it didn’t matter, because his remaining arm had been freed from it, so it was kind of like a self-attached dingy white cape. Edward was naked of his mechanical limbs as well. They were heavy and useless anyway, so it wasn’t any real burden to him to relinquish them into the General’s hands.

Edward Elric was naked, vulnerable and incomplete, face down on the bed of the most notorious lecher in the military, and for the first time in six long years, he felt safe, protected and loved. It was a good feeling and he fell asleep.

***

It was easier to deal with cleaning him up while he was asleep. With just enough gentleness and a while lot of warm water, Roy was able to peel the shirt off Ed’s back without incident. The two long slashes they revealed were nothing less than gruesome and Roy wondered how much wheedling, pleading and demanding he’d have to offer up to hear the story. But then he found it really didn’t matter, because all that really mattered was snoring softly, nose buried in the sheets.

He began to try and clean the wounds since it shouldn’t be put off. He felt regret when one golden eye opened blearily, the one he could see on the side of Ed’s face that wasn’t buried in the sheets, and rotated until it caught sight of him.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” Roy said, shuffling bottles of scraped knee and infection medicine in his hands, neither of them seemed appropriate, but they were all he had to offer.

“’sokay,” came the muffled response, then a resigned sigh, “how does it look?” he asked.

“Like something tried to eat you,” Roy replied and arched an eyebrow at Edward’s sardonic laugh. But Ed remained stubbornly silent after that and merely watched him whenever he strayed into view.

Roy found that on inspection, the wounds weren’t quite as bad as he first assumed. They were a bit deep, but not dangerously so in his opinion, so he decided on the scraped knee medicine and uncapped the bottle.

***

Roy Mustang was deaf now, as well as blind in one eye and he was certain his eardrums would _never_ recover. He was also, despite his age, an amazing athlete, but oh no, not really, because this young man who only had one arm and one leg, who is now lying gibbering in a pile on the floor next to him, _climbed a fucking wall_. Yes he did, Roy watched him do it before diving to intercept his fall, but he should have known better, because Ed had landed on his head and therefore was unhurt.

Roy got up stiffly, put his hands around Edward’s waist and heaved him upright.

“I fucking hate you,” the young man says in the tones of the boy he was, “I fucking hate you with every last breath in my body,” he snarls, tracks down his cheeks and tears in the corners of his eyes.

“How was I to know it would sting like that?” Roy tried to defend himself, “Alphonse never carried on like you do,” Roy got to his feet and lifted Ed.

“You put that on my little brother?” Ed howled as he was dumped face down onto the bed again, “Now not only do I hate you, I have to fucking kill you!” the blonde howled.

“I don’t think you can catch me,” Roy smirked, “did you see that dive?”

“Of course I did, you moron,” Ed said panting but settling, “you landed on my damn head!”

***

The awkwardness of the position did nothing to discourage the purring. After Roy had gotten the rest of Ed clean, Ed had complained and scratched his head very pointedly until the General came up with a solution to wash his hair.

Edward was still face down, but his back was neatly bandaged and he had his head and shoulders hanging off the side of the bed. On the floor below him were a few large bowls, a couple of pitchers and the odd towel or two. Buried in his hair were the General’s long fingers, scrubbing delightfully and thoroughly and hitting every itchy spot just right. When they got to the nape of his neck, Edward kicked his foot in pleasure and gave the General all sorts of throaty encouragements. He fucking loved having his head rubbed, he loved it!

Roy was chuckling and indulging him horribly, because Ed was pretty sure his hair was clean by now, but every time the man started to remove his fingers, Edward would make this small pitiful whine, and there the fingers would go, charging right back in. The General had already let him get away with it three times already. Wasn’t the General good to him and didn’t the General love him?

The only thing that could make this moment perfect would be Alphonse, but it would be perfect enough soon, because the General promised to get right on it in the morning, from his den via telephone. He could dispatch a whole troop to hunt his wayward younger brother down if need be, and said he would be thrilled to do it, so this whole General thing was pretty helpful indeed, even if Edward sort of missed being able to call him Colonel.

This time, when the General slowly withdrew his fingers, Edward let him, and then hurled threats from the depths of a towel wrapped around his head scrubbing at his hair. The General sat him up and moved behind him. “Now it’s time you indulged me,” and he started to brush his hair.

***

Edward’s hair had certainly grown even if the rest of him hadn’t done much of it. What had been a decent braid in the past, was now a long, trailing ripple to just about the center of Edward’s back. It was still wet and Roy paused to gently pick out knots and tangles with his fingers, but it was glorious none the less and fell to the brush naturally, easily tamed, unlike its hot-blooded owner. He eventually got it worked into a smooth fall and set the brush aside. He ran his fingers through it a few more times and Ed made a soft sigh like he was content, turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder. Roy leaned forward then, pressing his lips to the back of that same bare shoulder and just left them there with his eyes closed.

“Missed me?” Edward asked, and without meaning to, opened those damn flood gates Roy had in his mind. He really should get rid of them, or see about having them welded shut. Now that Edward was here, safe, mostly whole and not too badly hurt, the gates figured it couldn’t hurt to have one last torrential flood through the General’s mind.

He was _back_. He walked back in the same way he had run out, with ease and grace and some hint of a heavy future or past, and he acted like he’d never left. He acted like he hadn’t created this gaping hole in Roy’s chest, he acted like he hadn’t haunted his every waking and sleeping moment for six goddamn lonely years and Roy just wanted to _shake_ him. How could he do it, how could he always deliver these deadly blows and how could Roy take it? How could he always get right back up and ask, no goddamn _beg_ for more? How much was one mortal supposed to be able to withstand? He really wished he knew, because he was pretty sure he was near the breaking point. His chest began to tighten painfully and he made a hard hiccup. Edward made a questioning sound and he grit his teeth, but fuck! What was the use? What the fuck was the use? He was humbled in all things Edward Elric and he knew he had no fucking pride anymore; it was just stupid to pretend he did. If Edward laughed at him, well then so what. It wouldn’t matter and he just didn’t care and _oh god he’s back, he came back to me and I can’t… I can’t ever pay whoever I need to pay back, not in a dozen lifetimes, and you ask me if I FUCKING MISSED YOU?_

  
***

“What… what do you think?” Roy didn’t even try to keep the tremble out of his voice.

“Well I would hope that you did,” Ed’s voice floated back to him, “but knowing you and your dashing good looks and devastating charm, and your inability to say no, well, I don’t think you would have been strapped for company,” Ed was trying to make his voice light, but now it was a bit uncertain.

“I see,” Roy said quietly, and tried desperately to clamp down on the things going on in his thoughts, in his chest.

“You’re not telling me you’ve been alone all this time,” Ed said again, uncertainty growing.

“No,” Roy said, “not all this time, and yourself?”

“I might have dabbled here or there, nothing serious,” Ed’s voice had dropped to a mumble.

Roy ran his finger slowly down Ed’s back, starting at the bandage and ending near the small of it, Ed shivered.

“Well…” Ed said after a moment, “anyone I know?”

“Hawkeye,” Roy said without hesitation, running his finger back up and the spreading his hand into the hair, still very careful of the bandage.

“You complete liar,” Ed said, “you’re still alive.”

“I’m glad you find this so amusing,” Roy said, his gut twisting. Was that really his voice? It sounded distant and sounded cold, not at all how he wanted, not how he wanted to speak to Ed. Not to Edward, not to the only thing that had kept him alive these last, lonely, devastating, soul-crushing six years. Not to that voice that whispered to him in the dark and made him both doubt his sanity and embrace it.

“I’m saying all the wrong things,” Edward muttered.

“How can you,” and Roy had to stop and catch his breath a moment, “how can you ask me if I missed you,” and then the emotion was back, a ragged hiss, a gut wrenching snarl.

“Roy,” Edward began.

“I wanted to _die_ , did you know that? I wanted to crawl in a fucking hole and hide my head and scream for them to shovel dirt over me. How can I have missed you? I mean, it’s not like I drew my every breath lying there in that hospital bed thinking of you, is it? No, it’s not like I made every fucking day sitting in that court a living hell by wishing for you to be there, is it? How can I have missed you Edward, you never left me! You haunted me endlessly, you tortured my dreams, your image played over my every waking moment like you were fucking burned into my retinas! How can I have missed you? Your brother called to me, wrote to me and looked at me with eyes, but for a shade of color, that were just like yours. How can I have missed you when I would wake in the night screaming your name and listening to it echo off the walls, alone in the goddamn bed with my fucking body insisting, fucking insisting you had just been right there and that it was warm on your side! HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED YOU!?” he screamed.

Edward was trying to turn around, but his current condition made even the most simple of movements difficult. Roy only watched him and let him struggle, not moving to help. He was making noises too, almost like an imitation of the noise he always made, those rumbly throat murmurs that Edward would press himself to against his chest, heaving sighs of relief.

“I didn’t miss you at all,” Roy continued, “I fucking died and was a goddamn corpse until this very night. I could feel nothing!” he howled.

“No,” Roy said and shook his head violently, “that’s not right, let me rephrase that. I could feel nothing unless you allowed me to! You took from me every ability to feel anything for anyone else, you robbed me of my very breath, I looked for you in every fucking man, woman and child I met for six goddamn you, six fucking years, but BY THE GOD YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN, I didn’t fucking MISS YOU!” His throat ripped and the sound he made was raw like an animal. His eye clouded and he couldn’t see, he clawed at it and the goddamn patch, but then there was another hand clutching his shoulder, sliding to his neck and hooking behind it, trying to pull him forward, and a voice, also raw and not the same, but still that voice it used to be, begging.

“Please don’t cry, I didn’t mean it. Please Roy, I’m so stupid. Please don’t cry like that, I’m sorry, I’ll do anything,” Ed was saying, eyes wide and frightened.

“I would do anything, too,” Now that it had started, it wouldn’t leave him, “I would have said anything! Served any god! Paid any PRICE,” his voice cracked and his chest heaved, “just to have you, JUST TO HAVE YOU…” He couldn’t breath and there were those sounds from his own throat again.

Ed was pulling on him desperately, starting to make a keening sound which flayed him. He grabbed him and crushed him and held him and knew him… but he no longer _missed_ him.

  
***

“So silly,” the voice was soft and the lips that moved against his forehead were softer.

“I know,” he said, sniffing. He dragged the sheet up again and wiped his nose and eyes, his voice was still shaky, but improving.

“I didn’t mean for it to be that bad,” Edward said quietly, “I meant it like a joke.”

“You have a fucking lousy sense of humor,” Roy grumbled against Ed’s chest and sighed, “I need to change the sheets, I’ve gotten these… damp.”

“Keep them away from me, that’s not just tears,” Edward warned and Roy boggled. Was he still such a prude about bodily fluids?

“I’m really sorry,” Ed said again, peppering kisses along where Roy’s forehead met his hairline, “it was very thoughtless thing to say.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Roy sighed, tilting his head back a bit to give Ed better access, “just count yourself among the lucky few that have ever gotten to see me turn into a girl.”

“I want to make it up to you,” Ed’s lips moved down a bit and adored a fine black eyebrow.

“No need really,” Roy said closing his eye and offering up his eyelid too, “I’m a big boy, I can handle it.”

“When I feel better,” Edward murmured against that closed eyelid, “I want to make love like we did that night in the barn and I want to do it a lot,” he husked to his General.

Well.

If Edward really wanted to make it up to him that _badly_ , than who was Roy Mustang to stop him?

***

Alphonse went over his notes again in his head on the taxi ride from the station to the General’s house. He wanted to have a well-prepared mental checklist of points to bring up that would lead to other points that would finally center on a question. If he was crafty, he would be able to pin the General with it and not give him a loop hole for evasion, he’d get some answers from the exasperatingly clever man.

He gathered his things together when they pulled up to the end of the General’s driveway, paid the driver, gave him a tip and some sound advice about what to do with his aging father’s pension that would protect it from his greedy sisters, walked up the driveway to the General’s front door and rang the bell. The General was going to be pleased to see him, he always was. That always made Alphonse happy and a little giddy _(but not because of anything that might be construed as something other than a father and son type of affection that he and General shared, because that is all it was. He even had it written down, so he knew it was true.)_ , and he found that for all the times he had to deal with his sad, dark eye, he rather liked his Pirate’s attentions.

However, he was startled by the complete surprise and incredible joy that sight of him brought to the Pirate’s face this evening and squawked when he was yanked inside and literally dragged down to the living room.

“You never disappoint me Alphonse,” the Pirate said, grinning and sitting him on the couch, “I’ll have to call Lieutenant Colonel Havoc and tell him the hunt is off,” he ruffled Al’s hair.

“Oh, were you looking for me, sir?” Al said, setting his shoulder case down since the General had left the suitcase abandoned in the foyer hall. “I should have called in and let you know I was on my way back.”

The General grabbed the coffee table and pulled it over to sit on it so he could be facing Al, and smiled a real smile, it was in his eye. Either something incredible must have happened or the General was getting really good with his cover ups, which Alphonse doubted.

“Do you remember the promise I made to you when you were ten years old?” the General fled and the Pirate grinned at him merrily.

“Well, it depends on which promise you mean,” Alphonse said, “you made me a few before I turned eleven. You promised me a bike for my birthday and you certainly delivered on that.”

“No, I mean the really important one,” the Pirate said, “when we sat on your Granny’s stoop the first time I met you.”

Where was he going with this? Of course Alphonse remembered, he never truly forgot anything.

“You promised me my brother,” Al said, “You promised me that you if you saw him, you would bring him to me,” Al smiled, thinking he’d done it again, he’d found a photo he forgot he had or a letter that had been written or some such small thing that had brought him joy in the past when he shared them with Alphonse.

The Pirate slapped Al on the knees, he stood up, and tossled the boy’s hair. “Don’t move.”

“This is me, not moving,” Al said to his retreating back. It was certainly fun when the General was in a good mood.

Then he heard voices coming down the hallway and a squawk that sounded almost the same as the one he had made when he was being dragged into the house, but only one set of foot steps. The General walked under the archway with a grin that threatened to encompass his whole face and a startled blonde that had stared at Alphonse from dozens of photographs, struggling in his arms. The blonde man went both dead still and sheet white when he looked at Alphonse and everything in the world stopped turning, everything in the world except for that Pirate’s voice, laughing.

“See,” he said, each note excited and happy, “I always make good on my promises! One brother, delivered!”

Alphonse Elric’s world toppled from its stand and rolled away.

***

It was…

 _BROTHER!_

 _Edward!_

But it couldn’t be, because…

 _Where is his arm? Where is his leg?_

He walked before Alphonse on a wall, arms spread for balance and speaking of stew.

 _They are automail, you know that! He just has them uncoupled!_

They glinted in the sun and made his brother shine.

 _His hair is so long and he looks so different, his face isn’t as round and he’s not even like the dream anymore…_

Ed’s long red coat flapped in the wind behind him, his braid swinging out a cadence that Alphonse could walk to.

 _It’s been six years, he’s gotten older, you’ve gotten older!_

Alphonse struggled with the voice both his and not. The man in a pajama top and swathed up in a blanket in the Pirate’s arms, reached his hand out to him and Alphonse found it hard to breathe as he fought desperately for some balance. The Pirate’s face began to darken and the man who was his brother but was not, but was so different, curled his fingers and began to pull his outstretched arm back, turning and pressing his face to the General’s neck. Al only made out part of what he said: ‘doesn’t remember’. The General opened his mouth, his dark eye flashing. Alphonse rushed to beat him to speech, but was so confused and unnerved, he took a half step back instead of forward, and the General barked at him hard like a command.

“Alphonse!” he snapped.

Alphonse’s befuddled mind flailed for the correct response, slamming his body to attention and saluting, because it was the only thing he could think of to do. His eyes dropped from the General’s angry expression to the blonde haired man, his brother, shaking in the General’s arms. The General turned his face, expression going beyond gentle, and pressed his cheek to the blonde head, crooning and offering comfort, comfort for the hurt that Alphonse was inflicting. He didn’t want to hurt him, he was just confused and he held his salute at attention.

Again the General acted before he did, striding over to the couch, bending and setting the man on it, gently trying to extract his fingers from his sleeve. He glanced at Alphonse, disappointment written all over him and swimming in his black eye before turning back to croon at the blonde man. “It will be ok, he is just shocked. Of course he remembers you.” Alphonse wished for a hole to crawl into. Really, how can he go any lower than to hurt his own brother and disappoint the General?

***

It’s not fair, it’s just not fair. Why can’t it ever be fair? Why is it like this? Maybe I should just go back and then it will all be over. Maybe I should have given them what they wanted. He _doesn’t remember me!_

Roy turned his cheek against his head and made that blessed noise he always made, the noise that Edward sometimes clung to in the night those six years past. _He doesn’t remember me!_ That noise wasn’t helping this hurt, this incredible pain that threatened to just kill him on the spot. He couldn’t look, he couldn’t breathe, when will it be enough? When will it finally be enough? If God hated him so much, why didn’t he just let him die, there had been plenty of opportunities in the past! Because dying was escape, that’s why. Dying was release and God hated him too much for that, the bastard. Roy shouted at his brother. He would open his mouth to object, but he was afraid that all that would come out of it was all the hopelessness, terror and pain that rolled around inside of him. He didn’t want to give Alphonse any more grief than what he’d already given him. He wanted to beg Roy to take him back to the bedroom to hide him in the dark like the monster he was and must be, but Roy moved and sat him on the couch. He didn’t want to endure those eyes in the face of this boy who is his little brother. He’s so beautiful and so different than the little boy Ed remembered, he just wanted him to have a happy life, not this crippled freak having to be carried from room to room. He made a half sob and clung to Roy’s shirt, terrified and too much of a coward to be truly alone. It was so selfish to want to drag Roy down into his pit with him, but he couldn’t look. He just couldn’t look.

 _He doesn’t remember me!_

  
***

Edward doesn’t need this. He’d been hurt and damaged enough already, especially at the hands of his own brother, but that wasn’t fair. Roy regretted barking at Alphonse, because now on top of the confusion, he looked miserable and he hadn’t dropped the damn attention stance or his hand. Roy grunted his frustration and detangled from Ed who was making every indication that he wanted to climb back into his arms. He reached out, snagged Alphonse by his jacket and yanked. The boy stumbled, over balanced and fell onto the couch. He struggled to right himself, sitting up on his hip and panting like he’d been running. Roy thought that maybe he had in that amazing cerebellum of his, because he knew how this kid’s mind worked.

He knew that lately Al had been having dreams.

Edward, of course, is vastly different than any concrete memory Alphonse had of him, so Roy can’t blame Alphonse for his reaction. Despite his incredible intelligence and insightfulness, Alphonse is still _just a kid_ and they can react unpredictably.

But he can handle this, he can. He only wished it had been all screams and tears of joy like he wanted it to be, no matter how girly that would have been. He himself was having trouble avoiding that as of late, but he should have known better. Someone upstairs had decreed that no matter what, the Elrics would never have an easy time of anything.

“He looks different, I know,” Roy said kindly to Alphonse, who looked like he was about to start crying, “but you still see your brother, right?”

That did get the response that he wanted and Edward needed.

“Yes, he does, of course! I was just… I was so shocked and I didn’t expect it! It was really low of you, General, to just spring it on me like that, you should have warned me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” and Al crawled across the couch and straddled Ed’s leg. Ed jerked his head up and looked at him.

“Of course he’s my brother,” Alphonse said tearing up, “even though I’m mad at you General, you did deliver, you always deliver what you promise,” Alphonse threw his arms around his elder brother’s neck, buried his face there and started crying.

Edward slowly raised his hand and laid it on Al’s back. His fingers tangled briefly in the ponytail there and started to rub, closing his eyes and he tilting his cheek against his brother’s. Roy sat back on his knees and took in the sight.

The very first time in all these years, Edward Elric was _truly, finally, happy._


	18. Chapter 18

But happiness was not enough, as sad as that sounded. Once the initial embrace ended and Alphonse moved back to sit at his brother’s feet, there came an uncomfortable silence.

The brothers no longer knew each other and to Roy, that was the real tragedy, the real heartbreak of this whole situation. After all they’d been through, all they’d sacrificed to be _together_ , that it should be like this, it wasn’t equivalent of anything. Couldn’t they catch, for once in their very short lives, a fucking break? It was enough that Roy began to question the existence of higher beings, except for the ones who wanted to play cruel games with children’s lives and hearts. For all they had sacrificed for love, love had sure done them a shitty turn. It was a wonder they still practiced the custom at all, but these things could be remedied, he hoped. All they needed was some quiet time with each other, maybe something they both liked doing to put them at ease, then of course the obvious answer hit him. He stood abruptly, bent down and scooped Ed back into his arms. Ed startled and actually put his hand on Roy’s chest and pushed against him, leaning towards Alphonse, but Roy was neither hurt nor deterred.

“Come along Alphonse, your brother is injured and will be more comfortable in bed,” Roy said matter of fact and turned with the struggling, silent Ed in his arms. Al leapt up immediately and trotted after, but halfway down the hall, Roy stopped and turned back toward him _(and Edward, still bizarrely quiet, reached for him again)_ “Go hang your coat on the rack.”

Alphonse physically jumped a little, but then his mind latched onto the task and comfort of the mundane, and he peeled his long red coat off, trotting obediently back down the hall to hang it up. Edward made this odd little keening sound and Roy bounced him rather hard. The golden eyes snapped to his black one and Roy grinned his Pirate grin to Ed’s answering scowl, turned again down the hall and listened as Alphonse hurried along behind.

Ed was leaning out to look back at his brother as Roy made the turn into the bedroom and as a result, was soundly struck in the back of his head on the door frame with a resounding _thwack_ , causing whatever strange spell that had been woven between them by the mere sight of each other, to suddenly and loudly, in Edward Elric fashion, be broken.

“GODDAMNIT,” Ed howled and grabbed the back of his head.

“General, you should be more careful,” Alphonse said behind him anxiously, “although it was only his head… Oh, what a rude thing to say, I’m sorry!”

Edward was glaring at Roy (since he couldn’t see around him to glare at Al) as he was deposited on the bed amidst a nest of pillows, blankets, books and pictures. Roy looked at the scowl, was so happy to be on the receiving end of the scowl and had missed the scowl. He had been so good about letting Ed sleep all night and all that day before Al arrived, he felt that now, finally, he should get to kiss the scowl and leaned in to do so. But, a hand hit his shoulder hard and golden eyes were saucers with frantic lips that mouthed ‘Al’ over and over again. Then he remembered that Al couldn’t remember and pulled back slowly, wanting to just baptize Al in fire right then and there and get it over with. The frantic look in Ed’s eyes stopped him, and his rationale slapped him.

Al stood back a bit, hands clasped before him. Roy looked at him being all polite and patient and that just wouldn’t do, so he took a stride over to him and grabbed him around the waist, causing Al’s eyes now to become saucers as he squeaked indignantly, lifted into the air. Both brothers cried out in shock as Roy tossed Al on top of his startled brother and two pairs of saucer eyes looked at him from the bed, where Ed laid sprawled with Al similarly sprawled in his lap.

“I need to feed you both,” Roy said, “which is very magnanimous of me, seeing how just one of you can devastate a pantry. The two of you together would be a culinary devouring force to deal with indeed, so keep each other amused while I amount what will be a massive frontal strike on my kitchen,” he turned toward the door, but then turned back, “requests or to my own discretion?”

“It’s Thursday,” Al suddenly said.

“Indeed it is, no need to say anything more,” the General went out the door.

Alphonse sat up gingerly and risked a glance at his sibling. Ed was still watching his every move like a snake watched a rat, but when he noticed Al looking at him, he smiled and seemed to fumble around for something to say.

“Um,” Ed said, “Why is Thursday so special?” he asked.

“Oh,” Al scooted to the side of the bed and sat with his legs over the edge, “that’s the day mess serves noodles and meat sauce, it’s my favorite. I’m sorry, I should have let you have a say, I can run and tell the General if you want something different,” Al offered.

“No,” Ed said, smile spreading a little, “it’s my favorite too, and he’s very good at making it.”

For brothers to be strangers felt like another sin to Ed. Where was all this damnable awkwardness coming from? This was Alphonse for goodness sake, just Al, just his little brother who he’d known all his life.

He was so _beautiful_ , even more so than Ed had ever imagined. He was paler and taller than Ed _(not that it was a good thing necessarily, but it’s not like he could blame Al for it)_ , his hair was long now, which was new and fascinating and different, his eyes seemed the same as Ed remembered and his voice was still soft and high in pitch, unbroken as Ed’s had been when he was torn from all he knew.

But Al turned away from him now, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands in his lap. He looked uncomfortable and Edward was never the one with the words for these situations. With things like this, he always had _Al_ to rely on to make it alright, but now Al wasn’t there anymore. No, he was right there, but he wasn’t _there_.

“The General might need some help,” Alphonse said suddenly, sliding off the bed and glancing at Ed. That quick dart of eyes pleaded for Ed to release him and what could Ed do, what could he do really? Here was everything he’d ever wanted, everything he ever needed, how could he deny it anything?

“Sure,” Ed said, amazed that he could sound so normal, “he, uh, he probably does,” he finished on a mumble.

He glanced down at his hand on the bedcovers and listened to Al walk out the door.

 _So much for my happy ending._

***

Alphonse didn’t immediately go into the kitchen; he hovered in the hallway just to one side of the door so the General wouldn’t see him.

 _You are being so selfish, what’s wrong with you?_

 _I just need some time to get my head around it, that’s all. He keeps looking at me like I’m some sort of lost treasure and it’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t look like the pictures or dreams, he’s only half there._

Alphonse felt heat in his cheeks. That was so ungracious, it’s not like Edward could help it.

 _I’m not used to being petty or childish, these are new things to me. You know how I am with new things._

Alphonse wasn’t sure who he was talking to, but it didn’t stop him from talking.

 _You’re not paying attention to him, you’re not looking for the things you normally look for. Are you afraid to know your own brother?_

 _What are you talking about, of course I’m not afraid!_

But maybe he was.

 _Maybe you are afraid that he’s not what you think he was, maybe you don’t want your lofty mental image knocked from its pedestal._

 _No! That’s not true, I haven’t idealized him that much, I haven’t! I read all the reports I could on him, I listened to all the stories! I have studied him unwaveringly since I was ten years old, I know what to expect!_

 _You can’t even lie properly to yourself._

His eyes were stinging as he swallowed hard and gritted his teeth.

 _It’s hard to find these ugly places in yourself, isn’t it?_

 _He’s… broken. He’s not what I expected._

Ragged admission, admitted defeat.

 _Would it have been better if he never came back? That he let you continue your noble cause until the end of your days? What was he to you anyway? What was that journey, really? Did you use the memory, the General’s obvious love for him, for your own gains? Were you truly looking for Edward Elric or yourself? You heard the rumors, you knew that somehow what you are now isn’t what you were before, and that ate at you didn’t it? Let me use your word, it ‘plagued’ you._

 _Stop. Please stop._

 _What were you looking for, exactly? Was it your brother?_

 _Stop this right now._

 _Or was it yourself?_

Al squeezed his eyes shut very tightly and took several deep breaths, willing that voice _(that damnable voice… why was it here now, what did It mean? It wasn’t like this before, only now that he’d seen Edward…)_ to be silent. It took a moment or two of hard concentration. He worked on his breathing, evened it out, in and out slowly. That was better, much better. When he slowly opened his eyes, he saw the shadow on the floor. It was being cast to his right from a light source emanating from somewhere other than the hall. He lifted his head slowly and looked at the General who was standing in the kitchen doorway.

***

Or is it? Do I have to take this? No. Will I take this? No. He can’t do this to me. You know when it’s enough?

 _When I say it is, that’s when. Edward – it’s enough._

Take back your life.

***

Roy raised his head at the bellow that threatened to weaken the foundation holding up his very militarily-appropriate house. He felt his jaw slacken just when he was wondering where he was going to find it in him to somehow make this more than what it was becoming, which was another goddamn Elric brother pity party, but it seemed that Edward had other ideas.

“ALPHONSE ELRIC, YOU GET IN HERE,” came the thunder down the hall, “YOU AND I HAVE THINGS TO DISCUSS AND SINCE I CAN’T CHASE AFTER YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU _ARE_ GOING TO LISTEN TO YOUR BIG BROTHER AND YOU _ARE_ GOING TO GET IN THIS BEDROOM! HEY BASTARD, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR THIS TOO, IF HE RUNS, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO JUMP ON HIS ASS AND DRAG HIM BACK IN HERE BY HIS PONYTAIL- AND THAT’S ANOTHER THING!! WHY THE FUCK IS HE DRESSED LIKE ME?!”

Roy jerked a bit because suddenly Alphonse’s arms were around his waist. He looked down at the boy and Alphonse looked back up at him, tightening his hold.

“Please don’t make me go back in there with a mad man,” Alphonse begged and whined when Roy tried to loosen the strangle hold around his waist.

“Oh no,” Roy said, “this is your accident of birth, not mine.”

 _Bravo Edward, bravo. You have finally figured it out, you ARE worthy of something._

“I’M WAITING,” the voice came again, searching out the nooks and crannies, permeating every crack in the foundation. Roy was sure he heard the house groan, “IF I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS BED AND SCOOT DOWN THE HALL ON MY ASS, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WILL CATCH YOU! GODDAMN ROY, HOW FAST CAN HE BE?! I DON’T HEAR ANY RUNNING!”

It was just music, finer than any phonograph Roy Mustang had ever owned. He laughed and struggled with Al, who hadn’t let go of his waist, and began dragging him down the hall. Al resisted with whines and heels, but it wasn’t going to do him any good.

It was about time that Alphonse Elric met his elder brother, Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist, the unstoppable force and the Alchemist of the Common Man. The whole reason Roy Mustang’s life was a great place to be, for it wasn’t dull, it was never dull. Just when he thought the road ahead was straight and clear, there would be the flash of gold and a sharp left turn and he’d make it. He’d be off again on this never-ending, thrice-damned, tumultuous journey that had a name, and its name was Edward Elric.

He never wanted to outlive it; he never wanted to be without it again. So when he pried Alphonse loose, gave him a thumbs up sign and physically shoved him into the bedroom, he wasn’t throwing him to the lions, oh no, he wasn’t. He was doing him a goddamn favor, he was introducing Alphonse Elric to the most important thing in his whole life, the thing that would be there for him when he was happy or sad, would make threats on his behalf, eat all of his food, sleep on his sofa, make a mess of his library, drive his future wife batshit and spoil his children.

He was introducing Alphonse Elric to fate and a brother.

God help him.

 _Welcome home, my love. Welcome home._

***

Ed leaned forward on the bed when Alphonse came sliding into the room, propelled by a hand on his back. When the arm started to withdraw, Alphonse whipped around only to have it return, but this time on his face. Al staggered back and the General leaned into the doorjamb, grabbing the doorknob. Two pairs of eyes settled on him, one pair screamed ‘Don’t leave me!’ and the other pair howled ‘Get the fuck out!’, but he was more afraid of the second pair than the first pair, and he wanted sex with the second pair eventually, so it was best he obeyed.

“Dinner in an hour,” he said cheerily. “You boys have a nice chat!” He pulled the bedroom door shut kind of hard to make it sound final and held onto the knob a moment to make sure Alphonse didn’t leap to it and try to yank it back open, but Alphonse was busy being pinned to the spot where he stood by some fiery, scotch-colored eyes and he hadn’t made a peep. He let go cautiously and backed down the hallway. About halfway down, he figured that Alphonse couldn’t shake himself free and it was alright to return to the kitchen.

***

“What are you trying to pull here,” the maniac on the bed said, leaning forward hard and jaw set harder.

“Nothing,” Al squeaked and boggled at the sound of his own voice. His eyes skittered nervously over the man on the bed and to the window. The man on the bed followed his gaze and gave a mirthless laugh.

“Go ahead and try it,” he said, “I know I don’t look like much right now, but I can guarantee you won’t make it.”

“I wasn’t thinking anything,” Alphonse yelped. Again, where was this voice coming from? Surely not from him, but there wasn’t anyone else in the room and it certainly wasn’t Edward’s voice. He had to calm down, this was most unbecoming. He was a State Alchemist after all, and his brother, Edward, was not. At least not anymore, he’d been buried with honors, and once you’re buried, even if you do come back to life, the military isn’t interested in the paperwork it would take to dig you up, so Edward was just a civilian. Alphonse was a representative of the _state_ and he should act like one. He lifted his chin and brushed down his shirt and put his hands at his sides to face this head on, because that is what he should do, as a State Alchemist.

Ed looked him up and down and his mouth drew down at the corners. Alphonse glanced down at himself, but he seemed all in order.

“So what is this,” Edward said, “some sort of… tribute?” He flashed the most amazing cocky grin, like he was smug and proud. Alphonse felt heat in his cheeks and defended himself.

 _Yes._

“No,” he said, “it was just practical.”

“Practical?” Ed said.

“Yes, there was this spare set in the suit case and they fit,” Al said.

“They fit?” Ed raised an eyebrow.

“Well they used to, and then I had them altered,” Al said.

“I see,” Ed said, smirk returning.

“I had gotten used to them by then,” Al countered.

“Used to them, I see,” Ed’s smirk grew wider.

“It wasn’t for anything else,” Al said, feeling his eyebrows draw further down the wider the smirk became, “I wasn’t trying to be you.”

 _It was a way to be closer to you, though._

“What about the hair,” Ed reached back and flipped his own, “you always told me it was hot and impractical and you were too busy to pick knots out of it,” he seemed to be enjoying this.

Alphonse had no defense, really.

“I was too busy to have it cut,” Al said loftily.

“I’m sure Granny or Winry could have done it while you had your nose squished against the pages of a book,” Ed said, looking so damn smug, “you wanted to be like your big brother” and Ed tilted his nose in the air, “and I don’t blame you.”

Alphonse let his jaw drop. How incredibly arrogant and rude!

 _Exactly as you’ve read!_

“Pamela liked it,” Alphonse blurted and then blanched.

The nose came down and the eyebrows went up.

“Who is Pamela,” Edward asked.

“A Second Lieutenant in the accounting pool, why?” Al tried to adopt nonchalance and failed.

“I don’t think I know her,” Edward said.

“Well you wouldn’t,” Alphonse said, “you haven’t been around.” Oh! That wasn’t very nice. He was sorry, but as he opened is mouth to apologize, Edward spoke again.

“You can’t date, you’re only 16,” Edward said.

What? What did he just say?

“That’s too young to be dating,” Edward said, “and besides, I don’t know her. I don’t want you to date girls I don’t know.”

The voice that had been in Alphonse Elric’s thoughts that confused him and jarred him, suddenly decided to be his champion.

“I don’t recall having to have your permission,” Alphonse said smoothly, “from what I’ve read about you, you aren’t a very sterling example. There were several mentions of your inability to negotiate with the opposite sex.”

Edward sat back a little.

“What do you mean?” he asked, eyes getting wide.

“When I began to research you,” Alphonse continued, his turn to stick his nose in the air, “any scrap of information I could find on you I considered incredibly valuable knowledge. After all, the more I knew about you, the better I would be able to find you. Any tiny insignificant scrap of knowledge can break the camel of investigation’s back…”

“Camel of…” Ed started.

“Don’t interrupt,” Al said raising a hand and Ed went silent, “so, I searched out financial records and journals and evaluation reports… and I can honestly see why you started a Major and ended as one,” Al snorted and Ed scowled, “but I digress. There was this group of women in the records department of East City and they all had a little betting pool. It seemed to be an offshoot of a betting pool that I believe started in Central in the information department, the officer in charge at the time was a Lieutenant Colonel named Maes Hughes, I know you knew him,” Al said airily.

Edward sobered a moment. “Yeah, I did.”

Alphonse studied that look, a sadness was there, but muted. Edward must have liked the man a great deal. His brother was compassionate, so he made a note of it.

“But anyway,” Al plowed ahead, “they kept notes and records. They were trying to better their chances, bet the odds, and they did it all in the back of a ledger that would have been overlooked by anyone but me, because I was looking at everything. So they started this little flowchart…”

“A flow chart of what?” Ed snorted.

“Your hits and misses,” Al said, “when it came to women.”

Edward flailed his lone arm.

“I never tried to date women,” Ed snorted, “this is absurd.”

“For a while, the odds on favorite was a woman named Schiezka,” Alphonse said, “I’ve met her before, she’s very nice.”

“Schiezka,” Edward sputtered, “why the hell would I want to date Schiezka?”

 _I had the hots for a certain Colonel at the time._

“Well the popular opinion was only a walking library could stand to date you, on a side bet they threw in your virginity,” Al said and gave his own, half cocky smile.

“THOSE BASTARDS,” and off Edward went, “BAD ENOUGH THEY MOCK MY HEI… STATURE, AS AN ALCHEMIST MIND YOU, BUT THEY HAD BETS ABOUT WHO I WAS GONNA LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO?!” he howled.

 _I wonder if the Colonel knew this? I’ll fucking pull his dick off if he did!_

“There were wild conjectures and rumors,” Alphonse said, fanning the flames, this was rather fun, “you wouldn’t believe some to the things I read,” he grinned merrily.

Edward was turning purple and Alphonse was appalled at himself, yet he wasn’t. It was a little disturbing and yet kind of nice at once.

“Major Sarah Cotillion,” Alphonse said.

“That _bitch_ made me prefer the company of rabid chimeras _in heat_ and THAT was on a GOOD day,” Edward shrilled, waving his arm wildly.

“Second Lieutenant Cheryl Masterson,” Alphonse supplied.

“I’d have rather given head to a TOAD,” Edward informed.

“First Lieutenant Hawkeye, but before you even go into that,” and now Alphonse looked _Edward_ up and down, “I know with certainty that would never happen.”

Edward did the most amazing contortions for being down two limbs and Alphonse was very impressed.

“Lastly, and my very favorite so it can’t be least, the really good one,” Alphonse grinned wicked and clever, and Edward panted, eyeing him, “it was said you lost it to _Colonel Roy Mustang_ ,” Alphonse was all prepared for a very funny bit of wild flailing and guttural noises that would put the most indolent pig to shame, but instead, Edward’s eyebrows scaled his forehead and took refuge in his thick blonde bangs, his jaw hit the bed and made a break for it, and his eyes almost rolled back in his head for a moment. He made this really odd wheezing sound and his whole body seized up.

Alphonse Elric, master of observation, man of knowledge and trivia, interpreted these signs and came to the following conclusions:

Number one: There were airborne swine in this world.

Number Two: There was a tree out there, somewhere, waiting to be discovered and when he found it, he would be very rich indeed.

And

Number Three: People with pitchforks were ice skating.

His brother, and his Pirate.

The voice in his head that had been so helpful took a nose dive off the end of his common sense and drowned in the sea of his disbelief that had frozen over with his sense of utter incredulity. Alphonse Elric short circuited and just stood there watching his elder brother turn blue.

“That’s fuckin’,” Ed wheezed out and then panted, “ridiculous,” he finished and gagged and coughed.

Alphonse found the fuse box of his mind, toggled the switches and everything gave that starting up whine as it creaked back into production.

His brother didn’t want him to know it.

***

The rap on the door, while timely and well placed, almost made them both leave their skin and head for higher ground. The door swung open and the General stuck his head in and looked between them. First at Alphonse with a quirked eyebrow, then at Edward with a little grimace.

“Hungry?” he asked the room in general.

“YES,” they both half shouted, to escape this thing, whatever it had become.

The General looked back and forth between them several times, like he was trying to decide what had just gone on. Edward was panting, Alphonse was shifting from foot to foot and neither of them could look at him directly.

“Okay,” the General said, “I suppose we can eat in here. Alphonse, why don’t you clear off that window table over there and move it by the bed,” he asked, “and stuff some more pillows behind your brother’s back, but be careful, that is where he’s injured.”

The commands _(from this man, anyway)_ had their usual comforting effect on Al when he was in a stressful situation and he nodded, heading over to the window table to remove the knick knacks and change its position.

“Are you okay?” the General asked Ed.

Edward, to his credit, waved him off with his hand and a rather normal-sounding “I’m fine.”

So the General nodded and went back down the hall.

Alphonse moved the table close to the left side of the bed, then walked around to the right side, fluffed up some pillows and looked at Ed.

Ed leaned forward helpfully and Al wiggled a pillow behind his lower back.

“Is that comfortable?” he asked his older brother.

“Yes, thanks,” Edward said, smiling a very warm smile despite all that had went on not ten minutes ago and Alphonse felt a little jolt that the smile was comforting, too. He toed off his shoes, pushed up his sleeves and even though it might be a little rude without asking, he climbed up onto the bed and sat beside his big brother, legs folded with knees out.

“I want to sincerely apologize,” Al said, “for earlier. I don’t know what came over me,” and he studied the hands that he had folded neatly into the circle of his lap, made by his folded legs.

Edward’s hand was suddenly warm on his back and it was rubbing in a very soothing way.

“Don’t worry about it,” his big brother said, “I wasn’t much help either. There was so much going on in my mind when I saw you that I couldn’t even speak. It was a shock for you too I’m sure, a big one. I don’t look the same, I don’t sound the same, my voice broke haha, but yours will too,” he reassured, “and we just weren’t prepared for it. I know the General was just excited, but he should have prepared us a little. We can’t blame him for being happy for us though and it’s okay now, isn’t it?” and Edward leaned forward a little and his hand moved up Al’s back to the back of his head and pushed. Al turned to look at him, “After all, we’re brothers.”

Yes, that was it exactly. He knew Ed would understand and Alphonse slowly leaned against the living legend he’d searched for all these years. He was warm, solid and he smelled like soap. His hand had traveled again to draw lazy circles at Alphonse’s temple and that was just nice, he hadn’t knocked Edward from his pedestal, he just hadn’t built it high enough.

“I really missed you,” Alphonse Elric said to Edward Elric, “and I’m so glad you’re home.”

The General, who had started to come into the door, backed out of it slowly and retreated once more to the kitchen. Nothing was going to go bad if it sat a little longer on the stove.

“Me too,” his big brother said, trying to keep the shake out of his voice, “because nothing was going to keep me from you, nothing at all.” Despite his best efforts not to, Edward sniffled.

In the kitchen, the General allowed himself a pat on the back.

 _Welcome home for real my love, welcome home._

***

Sleeping alone in the guest bedroom made very comfortable for Alphonse Elric was not very fun, Roy decided, not when Edward was all too real and in his bed not more than a room or two away. But he could deny him nothing and the same for Alphonse, so he let the brothers sleep together that night. Edward and Alphonse both were a little old for it, but if Roy thought about it, it had been eleven years since they’d done it, not just six, so it was allowed. He dared anyone to tell him differently.

He pulled himself up, yawned, scratched, scratched some more, shuffled down the hall to the bathroom and sat around in there for a while. Then he realized he’d left his eye patch on the bedside table, so he slinked back down the hall to the guest bedroom and retrieved it. He went back to the bathroom and put it on, making sure it was straight, then contemplated what it would feel like to sleep with it on.

He hadn’t thought much about it, because once again, as all things come full circle, he and Ed were playing The Great Waiting Game. Yes, the game designed to drive him to new heights of unwilling restraint. Ed was uncomfortable with introducing his love life to Alphonse so blatantly, and that hurt just a little, but it was understandable as well. He shuffled back down the hall and paused at his bedroom door and listened. He could hear voices, so he knocked.

“Come in,” Alphonse called cheerfully, so he opened the door and came into the room.

Ed and Al were both lying on their stomachs, Ed with his lone foot in the air and Al bunched up beside him, swimming in a pair of Roy’s borrowed pajamas. They both grinned at him and his heart did a little skip because it was such a pretty sight. Mrs. Elric had made pretty babies.

“General,” Ed said and winked.

“Pirate,” Al said and grinned.

“Pirate?” Ed said, one eyebrow quirking.

“I’m a pirate, didn’t you know?” Roy said, walking across the room to his closet, “I sail the seas in a galleon called the Raucous Flame and I lay siege to ports and loot booty and all that sort of thing,” Roy tossed over his shoulder.

“It’s terribly exciting,” Al said in a loud, but conspiratorial way, “his position as a General in the army is just a front, you see.”

“Well damn,” Ed said, “here you had this great double life and I didn’t even know about it.”

“I drink rum and wench like there is no tomorrow when no one is looking,” Roy said, shrugging out of his pajama top and tossing it in the hamper at the bottom of the closet.

“He likes to wench the most,” Al said looking over at Ed, but then he stopped a moment and watched his brother watch the Pirate. The way his brother’s eyes traced the Pirate’s bare back and lower made Al shift a little uncomfortably, so he elbowed Ed ‘on accident’.

“He was well known for his wenching ways, that’s not a secret,” Ed said flatly.

“Ah, too true,” Roy said, “too true. Everyone knows I’m neigh well irresistible and the eye patch is just damn sexy.”

Al saw something else in his brother’s eyes, a sudden concern Al knew he wouldn’t voice while his younger brother lay beside him, so he jumped up to his knees and clapped his hands, causing the General to turn around and Ed to crane his neck to look at him.

“I’m going to go back to the dorm and get some things, and then when I come back we can call Winry and Granny,” he said.

“Yeah,” Ed said, eyes brightening briefly. “oh yeah…” the shine in his eyes was replaced by concern for his own self.

“Oh, it won’t be so bad,” Al said, “they will be so happy to know you’re home and Winry can’t hardly blame you for losing the automail.”

“That’s what you think,” Ed said gloomily, “she loved it more than she ever loved the bits of me attached to it,” Ed dropped his chin back to the bed.

“A necessary evil,” Alphonse said, “unless you like the General carrying you around everywhere you go for the rest of your life.”

The General got a funny look that said he just might like that, but Ed said “Can’t have that.”

Al climbed off the bed. Ed was still looking happy, but a little sad that his brother left him there as Al trotted out and down to the guest room where his suitcase was stored last night.

“He’s incredible. He’s everything you said he is and more,” Ed said, eyes still on the door where his younger brother had disappeared.

Roy pulled a scooped neck, long sleeved black sweater over his head, finger-combed his hair and stepped out of his sleep pants. Ed heard the movement and was watching him again. Roy noticed, grinned, winked his one eye and pulled out a pair of blousy pants that were almost like pajama pants and stepped into them.

“Why do you always wink at me when I watch you dress,” Ed said, swinging his foot up and down idly.

“Because I like watching you watch me dress, and I wink at you to let you know,” Roy said, stuffing his feet into a pair of house loafers.

“Seems silly,” Ed sighed, then rolled into his back and pushed his bangs up out of his eyes, “but whatever you want, you have a lot of funny habits.”

Roy snorted.

“Look who’s talking, I’m going to go call Alphonse a cab,” Roy walked by the bed, tapped Ed on the end of his nose and Ed craned his head back to watch him leave the room.

“Especially that circle thing you do when you’re confused,” he said after the vanished figure, “I’ve always wanted to see you do it in your military butt skirt, because that would be too funny,” Ed grinned at himself and his joke, and stuck his foot up in the air.

***

Ed became a one-armed octopus when Al hugged him goodbye.

“I’ll only been be gone a couple of hours,” Al grunted and squirmed.

“I know, but I’ll still miss you. What’s wrong, ashamed to hug your big brother goodbye?” Ed complained.

“No, I like breathing, “ Al wheezed.

Roy took pity, went over and yanked on Al until Ed let go.

“Ok,” Roy said, smoothing Al’s collar, “be careful. Call me before you leave the dorms to let me know when you’re heading back,” Roy smoothed Al’s bangs, “and if you see Colonel Hawkeye, tell her that I will call her to explain everything,” Roy gave Al’s ponytail a little tug, “and make sure you bring the dirty clothes you have stashed in your room back with you, I’ll have the cleaning lady wash them.”

Al was looking up at Roy the entire time and nodding and smiling.

Ed marveled. Roy had turned Ed into his lover, but Alphonse had turned Roy into his father. Wait, did that make Ed Al’s mother?

They all turned their heads at the sound of a car horn, both near and faint.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Roy said and clapped his hand on Al’s back, but as they started to leave the room, a kicked puppy whimpered behind them. Roy stopped, turned around and sighed.

***

Roy stood holding Ed in his arms at the front door.

“Come right back,” Ed said anxiously to Al.

“I will,” Al reassured him.

“Al, look out!” Roy said suddenly. Alphonse skipped back out of Edward’s reach and opened the door.

“I’ll call,” Al reassured them both, went out and pulled the door shut behind them.

Roy sighed, smiled and looked at Edward who was working his mouth. His lower lip was trembling as he turned big, liquid, golden eyes on Roy and he whimpered. “He grew up so fast!”

Roy rolled his eyes and turned to carry Ed back to the bedroom.

***

Roy lowered Ed down into the pillows but let the blonde shift around to get himself comfortable and just stood back admiring him while he did it. Age had brought beauty to Edward Elric beyond that of his youth. His jaw was a bit squarer, his face more filled out, his neck was thicker and his shoulders, which had always been well defined, now carried adult musculature. His hair was thick, heavy and a bit rough, but it was still brilliant and perhaps a touch lighter. His lone arm was well-defined, his hand a bit broader, his chest (when it had been bare) was a symphony of male planes that trailed into an abdomen prominent with its six fans of muscle to either side. He had narrow, square hips and corded thighs that weren’t heavy, a well defined calf and of course, Edward was healthy in the way of males, that seem to have gotten bigger too.

All in all, Edward Elric was a dazzling display of male grace and virility, and Roy now had a hard on. Al was gone and Edward’s back didn’t seem to be bothering him all that much, so he started at the foot of the bed. He pulled himself up on it on his hands and knees and he began a slow crawl. Edward looked up at him, eyes taking him in a moment before realizing and _really_ taking him in. Edward smiled at him and shifted around some more, putting on a casual look. He was delicious with ripples of gold hanging over his shoulder, a pajama top that was too big for him hanging at a heavy ‘v’ under his neck showing his chest and a pair of boxers that were also too big for him and Roy knew, with dizzy anticipation, that they made him very, very accessible.

“General,” Edward purred, with his silken, deeper voice. It ran right over Roy, right to his cock, who found its voice again after all these years and began to sing praises to this man, this new lover the General had found. Roy let out a low moan at just this voice and licked his lips.

“No,” Edward said softly, “not here. Here you are the Colonel,” and his eyes went half mast.

Roy sang to _life_. There was no other word for it, he wanted to drop to the bed and just writhe, it was that strong a sensation. He gained Edward’s body and lowered his lips over that one foot, kissed the top of hit and dragged his tongue, and Edward shivered, bitting his bottom lip. Roy’s tongue then caressed his ankle, the back of his heel and up the side of his quivering calf. He could hear Edward’s breathing, becoming deeper and more erratic. There was new country to discover on this arduous journey and Roy was a leisurely traveler, he let his tongue taste the back of a knee, the side of the same knee, his lips deciding to take up a leg of the campaign, which was only appropriate considering the terrain. It was an assault on the sense of his lover, a well strategized conquering, for he was, after all, a General. He would run roughshod over the man before him, take him captive, make him surrender, make him curse the name Mustang even as he screamed it in pleasure. He would be dictator and tyrant and king, but most of all, he would be lover, because that was the cruelest and greatest master of all.

He kissed up a shuddering thigh to the edge of the boxers. Edward made a lovely low sound and reached across to thread fingers into his hair. Roy arched his head up and back to the touch, turning his black eye to Edward’s light ones, opening his mouth and moaning. The effect on Ed was dramatic, his chest heaved and his throat worked hard and he began to pant.

This was love. This desire and ardor, this ability to arouse with the merest gestures, something he’d always craved and something he had finally won with his blood and his sweat and his tears. He moved and crawled up between Ed’s parted thighs as Ed watched, his eyes crawling from Roy’s eye to his lips and back again. Roy went up on his knees; one hand went back to the top of the headboard and gripped it, the other slid slowly up Ed’s throat. He marveled in the movement under his palm as he brought his hand up slowly, turned and hooked his thumb over Edward’s chin and then forced his head back. He lowered his face very slowly and Edward opened his mouth, shaking everywhere. Roy got to within a breath of those lips and he offered his tongue, so very slowly, and Ed made a sound that was plaintive and longing as he offered his. Roy slid his against it, then crowded it before his, back into Edward’s mouth and took it. He claimed it, and Edward _yielded_ with grace and eagerness, but none the less hungry for it.

Roy praised and punished, did battle and was victorious. Ed’s fingers dug into his sweater and dragged at the fabric as he arched his body up, his head touching the headboard as he was devoured. When Roy withdrew slightly, Edward made a sound that was craving and grievous. He swallowed and found breath for voice.

“Missed this, fucking missed this,” he growled, “you fucking kissed me in my dreams and I fucking woke up looking for you. It was fucking hell,” he panted and pulled harder on Roy’s sweater, “I fucking missed you, god I fucking love you,” he said.

Roy couldn’t let such high praise go unrewarded. He took the ardent mouth again, he was a merciful ruler, and Edward’s whole body responded beneath him. Roy released his chin even as he held his mouth in abduction, dropping his fingers to the buttons and simply pulling. The cloth gave beneath him and he pulled back again as Edward panted in defeat. Roy moved to take another victory, this time his neck and Edward made a lavish sound, tilting his head to the side in complete supplication. Roy pushed the pajama top off his shoulder and dragged his fingers down that chest. It was hard and contoured, it did not give beneath his fingers and Edward made a rumble like a big cat as Roy’s fingers moved again to his nipple. He pressed and pinched it, it put up no resistance and gave him what he wanted immediately, drawing tight to a point.

Roy sat back then, took in the sight of Edward, flushed but not in the way of his youth, already starting to glisten slightly with his lips red and a mark on his neck redder. He was an indolent angel and a vexing devil, sprawled back against the headboard, haloed in gold of a heavy mane and thighs spread wide. His eyes made lazy passage of Roy’s body, then inured in Roy’s crotch as he licked his lips and Roy tossed aside his earlier offering of angelic to this man. There was nothing angelic about him.

***

Roy gripped the bottom of his sweater and pulled upwards, crossing his arms as he did so and a smooth, white chest appeared in relief to the black sweater as it dragged upward.

“You’re fucking beautiful, Mustang,” Edward growled and Roy blinked his single eye at him, surprised then obviously pleased.

 _I want this man when I get my automail back…_

It was dizzying to think of it. Roy’s soft pants had ridden low when he stretched his body up to remove the sweater and Edward appreciated the navel and that small expanse of exposed lower stomach, like other men would appreciate fine wine.

The man was a fucking work of art and he didn’t even have to work at it. He was the laziest bastard this side of the East, and yet, he was a sculpture.

He was pale and smooth, the only hair besides his head and that damnable eyebrow was the faint trail that started on his lower stomach and spread out, thick and dark above his sex. Edward pointed with his toes.

“Take them off,” he commanded, indicating the Colonel’s pants. Roy licked his lips, seemed to consider a moment, then obeyed, sitting up on his knees and sliding them down along with his briefs. _(he had to pull them up and out a little to do it, because the man was hard as a rock)_ He sat back on his ass, working them down and off his feet, then stretched his arm out, eyes catching on Ed’s and snagging there, then let them fall from his fingers to the floor beside the bed.

The bastard could work a moment. Ed squirmed in appreciation, his own cock now pushing insistently against the front of his borrowed boxers. It seemed funny that the Colonel had a pair to spare, considering he only wore briefs. Ed would have to drill him about this, but later.

“Stretch for me,” he whispered to that intense black stare. The Colonel raised that eyebrow a moment, and then he did the most insidious thing. He scooted a bit toward Edward and lay back against the bed. He dropped his feet to either side of Ed’s leg, and well, non-leg, with knees bent and feet flat on the bed. He raised his arms over his head and stretched, he pulled every muscle from his stomach to his shoulders taunt and he arched up into it and Edward could feel his brain melting and pooling in the wells of his ear drums, leaking drip by drip out of his ears.

He was just fucking out of reach. Ed could touch is leg so he did, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He then realized that finally, after all these years, the bastard was getting revenge for that fucking time he’d left him…

“BASTARD,” Ed howled and pulled on Roy’s leg. The ‘Colonel’ just laughed and stretched again, causing Edward to moan and whine as he wrapped his hand behind the bastard’s leg and pulled, but it did no good.

“Ah,” the Colonel said, “I love it when you use your pet name for me.”

“You sonuvabitch!” Ed raged.

“No, not that one,” Roy purred.

Edward was still Edward no matter how grown he might be. He slammed himself into the headboard in frustration and then his eyes got wide and he sobbed out.

***

Roy sat up.

“Damn it, Ed!” and he crawled up between his thighs again and Edward leaned into his chest and sniveled. Roy grumbled, patted his head and sighed. How did they always manage to do things like THIS?!

Edward complained bitterly as Roy checked his back and went to get fresh bandages.

“Just leave it, I don’t care,” Edward whined, as he was tended.

“Spastic. You will never outgrow being spastic,” Roy growled.

But Roy got him bandaged up again and seemed satisfied with it. He left the bedroom again and Edward railed against it, yelling his name incisively and shrieking his head off when Roy walked by the bedroom door without coming into it. He snarled at him when he finally did come back in, but Roy held up a bottle and wiggled it back and forth. Ed fought the urge to flop over and if he had a tail, he would have wagged it.

The Colonel _(who was a General when he wasn’t in the bed)_ sat the bottle of cooking oil on the bedside and loosened the cap. He would have liked to give Edward a sidelong look as he did it, but as luck would have it, he was blind on that side.

Ed was all hand when he crawled back in, but was easily defeated. It was also easy to avoid the gnashing teeth Ed tried to use to grab him with when his hand was held down and Roy chuckled at his frustrated, high-pitched sounds.

“I hate you, let me go, touch me, do something!” Ed demanded, “You’d think after six years you’d want to get rid of those blue balls!”

Roy lifted his single eyebrow and arranged himself on his knees once more. He released Ed’s hand but when Ed raised it he tsk’d at him.

“No grabbing yet,” he threatened to hold it down again and Edward snatched it back. He had disposed of Edward’s pajama top while bandaging him and now he leaned forward and slipped his fingers under the boxers’ waist band. Edward slammed his hand and leaned onto it, using his leg and stub to lift his ass from the mattress. Roy pulled them off and tossed them over his shoulder. Together, they looked down at Edward’s erection.

Roy gave a low whistle, winking that solitary eye. Edward flushed and growled at himself for doing it.

“Very nice, I’m very impressed. At least the rest of your body decided to ignore your height issues,” Roy said.

Edward was torn instantly in two. Part of him wanted to scream obscenities that would peel the bastard’s flesh from his bones, but then the other part of him screamed loudly that he was just given a huge fucking compliment and he should want to kiss the bastard until he strangled him to death for lack of breath. Either option would not make for good sex though, and he tried vainly to hold himself in check.

“That was... I’m not… you bastard!” he managed, and it was eloquent.

Roy’s own erection seemed to be leaning toward it, so Edward scootched down and decided they should meet. Roy seemed very amused by the butt sliding and wiggling.

“HELP ME,” Edward shrieked.

The bastard chuckled indulgently, but then he moved forward, putting his hands on either side of Ed’s hips and arching. The most amazing thing happened.

Roy stopped smirking, Ed stopped bitching and they both began to move. Ed lifted his head to look between their bodies. Roy’s cock slid to the left of his and along it. It was longer, _(Taller. Figures, fucker.)_ it touched Ed on the belly and it was erotic as all hell. Ed’s breath congealed in his throat and had to force it out. Ed own cock, broader and heavier, dragged through coarse, dark hair and it was fucking good, that prickly, scratchy heat. Ed heaved his chest and flopped back, grabbing Roy’s elbow with his hand and pulling using the leverage to arch himself up hard. Roy made a sound between raw and barbarian, and he _thrust_ , slamming them together. Their cocks were crushed between them and Ed answered with a cry just as savage, the bump and grind had _never_ been like this, like this struggle of nature it was now, because each thrust, each push, no matter how brutal, wasn’t _enough_.

It had to be more, Ed wanted more. In desperation, he hooked his only leg over the back of Roy’s and tugged madly on his arm trying to pull him down, to merge with him, to crawl into his skin. Roy’s arms began to shake and bend at the elbow each time their hips crashed together. His head was bent and the sweat from his forehead dripped onto Ed’s chest, it might as well have been acid. Ed’s vision clouded and he began a chant.

“Colonel, yes, Colonel, please, FUCKING YES, Roy damn it, PLEASE!” his voice was chaotic and unearthly to him, it seemed unreal to release it from his throat. Roy threw himself back as Ed wailed unholy denial, but Roy’s lips found his mouth and Ed choked into the rough kiss. His lips then found his frantically working throat, dragged down his chest and the FUCKER _tongued_ his navel. He never could goddamn leave it alone… Roy shoved off with his hands to get lower, bringing them up high and slapping them down again. He intended to grab Ed by the knees and spread his legs to kingdom come, but Roy was blind on one side and had no depth perception, and Ed was missing a knee on the same side. So as a result, Roy’s hands hit the sheets and skittered in opposite directions, making him pitch face first onto the mattress between Ed’s thighs.

Ed could only boggle at him, mouth hanging open. Roy didn’t move for a moment, then he drew his hands up, put them on either side of his face flat on the bed and pushed himself up slowly. He sat like that on hands and knees while Ed panted wildly and stared, unable to even laugh at him. No, Ed was wrong, he could laugh at him and he did, but it came out all garbled and choked, and he coughed and flailed with his good arm.

Roy sat up on his knees slowly and pointed at him, just pointed at him, scowling. Then, watching what he was doing, he turned his head, put his hand on Ed’s knee and shoved it, making Ed squawk and flail even more, but then Roy lowered himself between Ed’s thighs, showed him his tongue and that shut him up real quick, save for a little whine and a little up and down dance of his eyebrows in an age old ritual of enticement.

Roy licked him and they were off again. Ed reached back and grabbed the head board with his one hand, threw his leg over Roy’s back and was going to arch, but Roy quickly grabbed his hips. Ed threatened his life, but it was no good. Roy put his mouth on the end of Ed’s cock and held the head between his lips, just licking the slit and Ed screamed more death threats, but Roy chuckled evilly and continued. Ed swore that even though he couldn't bear his children, if Roy ever found anyone WILLING to bear his children, he'd kill him, but before he did that, he would make sure he _couldn't_ father the little fuckers!

Roy, acting like the threats had no effect at all, began to draw Ed into his mouth and throat. Ed was reduced to baby talk gibberish for awhile and Roy worked him slowly, letting him climb, then backing off. Ed would make feeble menaces to Roy’s person and then fall to broken, stuttered begging. It was all just _perfect_ , what with Ed’s shuddering body, the smell of his sweat and sex, his voice raw now and his fingers tangled in short black hair, massaging more than pulling, then he began a gentle tremor. He was submitting and Roy moved on him more urgently now and Ed, worn down in pleasure, was allowed to arch, shudder, sob and come.

***

There was tenderness afterwards; gentle kisses that Ed didn’t shy from because Roy had pleasured him with his mouth, soft touches and strokes, the press of bodies for contact and comfort for a few moments, and then Roy whispered softly in his ear. Ed nodded and allowed Roy to roll him, lift him and put a pillow beneath him.

Sated bliss made Edward soft in all the right ways. He trembled with beautiful grace underneath Roy’s hands as Roy stroked his back, careful of his wounds. His moans were husky and soft, his poor voice was ragged from his own completion and he opened with a willingness that was beyond acceptance. Roy felt dizzy again, because it shouldn’t be so perfect, but it was. Oiled fingers moved in Ed slowly and he showed his appreciation with gentle thrusts to the pillow under his hips. Finally, Roy moved over him, hands to either side of Ed’s head and Ed leaned and kissed one arm before Roy moved it to line himself up and press in very slowly, and very gently. He wanted to be tender, even though his own needs said otherwise. Ed was still tight, still hot and still deep, and Roy leaned forward until he was buried and knew heaven anew.

The pace was unhurried and Roy wanted to press closer, but the bandage peeking from between strands of golden hair held him off. He tilted his head back and let the melody of Edward’s moans make love to his ears as he moved in a rhythm to illicit more. Nothing moved him past this pace, past this path leading skyward, this gentle rocking motion that both soothed him and scorched him, leaving his heart aching and filled.

Even as his need heightened, even as his pace inevitably quickened, the joining was so much more beyond it now, that it was almost _(but not quiet)_ secondary. He came with a hoarse cry inside his lover and risked a quick press to the bandage to kiss sweat-shining shoulders. Edward’s sobbed ‘I love you’ followed him down into the pillows as he withdrew.

***

A phone was ringing.

Edward grunted against his chest and his fingers dug into Roy’s back. It seemed important for some muzzy reason, when any other time he would have ignored it. It kept up its merry chime from the recesses of the house and Roy was just about to completely ignore it when he remembered a promise he had extracted. Even though his own body protested mightily and Edward sobbed pitifully, he found himself dashing naked down to his den and snatching up the receiver.

“Hello?” he was still hoarse and now he sounded breathless.

“General,” said the young voice on the other end, uncertain.

“Alphonse,” Roy sighed, “on your way back?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ll be there soon, anything else I should bring?” the boy questioned.

Soon meant within an hour and Roy tried to rein in his disappointment. He wanted to stay in bed with a warm and clinging Edward, they always seemed fated to have to rush these things.

“No, I…” but then Roy’s brain tapped him on the shoulder and whispered in his ear, “Wait yes, if you wouldn’t mind picking up some dinner?” he asked.

“Oh certainly,” Alphonse replied.

“I’m thinking we should treat your brother nicely,” Roy said, “so why don’t you get us all a big meal at the Tavern on the Green,” he said.

“That’s clear across town,” Alphonse hesitated, “and the wait there is atrocious.”

“I know,” Roy said sympathetically, “but it’s for your brother,” Roy felt just a twinge of guilt, but only a twinge.

“Well,” Alphonse wibbled, then, “Ok, for Edward,” he said.

“See you in a couple of hours,” Roy smiled, “and when you get here knock loudly, I’m going to take a nap.”

“A couple of hours,” Alphonse sighed, “and here I thought I’d given you enough alone time, you must want to cuddle.”

“Yes we do,” the General started, but then he faltered and his eye got wide.

“Ok see you then,” Alphonse Elric said and hung up the phone.


	19. Chapter 19

Edward was unhappy with the circumstance, but not unhappy with the result. Roy was just fucking _hot_ in his uniform, he always had been. He coyly admired his lover from across the room, sighing heavily and plaintively, pretending to stare down at the comforter, but glancing up at the General to see when he was looking.

Roy looked over at him, offered him an apologetic smile and lift of his eyebrow.

“Including yesterday, but not the weekend, I’ve been out of the office for four days,” Roy said, “and while you deserve for me to take the next ten years off, we have to eat. Plus, I have to see if the office is still standing, my curiosity is piqued.”

Ed felt an unexpected rush of warmth. He was truly home now and Roy was talking about the office; not an office Edward had ever seen of course, but his mind strayed back to a small office and an apartment on the park.

“Surely it won’t fall apart that easily,” Ed said with a smile.

Roy snorted and fiddled with his butt skirt.

“First, I have to make the rounds and see if Breda has insulted anybody, then I have to see if Fuery has found someone new to take advantage of him, and then I have to make sure Falman hasn’t seized up in a corner because someone forgot to follow protocol, although he is getting better at it. He actually let a misfiling go the other day, he didn’t sniffle around the office all day taking it personally,” the General said.

Edward laughed, each face passing over his thoughts as Roy spoke them. He had missed them too, and wanted to see them again when things were settled.

“What about Havoc,” Ed asked, “you left him out.”

“I don’t have to worry about Havoc anymore,” and Roy sounded very proud, “he’s a Lieutenant Colonel now, I let him do most of the lead work.”

“Hawkeye?” Ed said.

“Edward, think about who you’re asking me about. Do you think _Colonel_ Hawkeye still has to baby-sit me? No, she is on her way up. She is the epitome of Military Perfection, she’s as efficient and deadly a Colonel as the big brass could ever hope to have, and she will be transferred out of my office soon, I’m sure, but not before she terrorizes her replacement into keeping me in my place. Her proficiency in all things is quite beautiful and terrible, and she still looks like a statue that speaks occasionally. She’s totally unreadable, I think even to Al sometimes and that is a feat.” Roy shook his head, “She is the most incredible and frustrating woman I’ve ever dealt with,” Roy continued.

“Even in bed?” Ed teased.

“Now in bed it was different, and I’m not a kiss and tell,” Roy smirked.

“Aw, come on, you can tell me just a little,” Ed laughed.

“No,” Roy said, “that is between Hawkeye and myself and will remain there. When she handed me my walking papers, I though she was…reading…me the….” Roy trailed off and stiffened.

Oh, he’d just handed Edward his head on a platter.

“SHE DUMPED _YOU_ , THE GREAT ROY MUSTANG?! LOVER OF WOMEN?!” the blonde on the bed howled in laughter, “Hell Roy, I would have given my _left_ arm to see that!” Ed chortled in evil glee.

“It can be arranged,” his lover growled, tugging at the front of his collar.

“That’s rich, that is just rich,” Ed leaned back, sighing in self satisfied smugness.

“The Rockbells will be here tomorrow,” Roy reminded him suddenly, causing Edward to blanch and scowl.

“HA,” the General said and strolled to the door, pausing to reach back and run his hands under his butt skirt, lift it and lean forward a little to present Edward with his ass.

“I’d kick it and kiss it better if you’d bring it over here,” Edward challenged and threw a pillow.

“No thanks, I saw the way you almost throttled Alphonse, I think I’ll pass. Maybe if you beg me, I’ll come back and kiss you goodbye before I leave,” the General said breezily, “but only if you beg me nicely.”

“I’ll give you a blowjob,” Ed returned.

The General turned around and went over to the bed, leaned in, grabbed Ed’s hand, pinned it to he headboard and proceeded to swab his throat out with his tongue. When he pulled back, Ed was glazed and blinking rapidly. He sighed heavily and didn’t attempt to grab Roy when his hand was freed.

“I’ll be back to kiss you goodbye before I go,” Roy informed him with a tap on his nose, then turned and jauntily went out the door.

***

A phone call had been made. Roy had carried him into his den, which excited Edward for a strange reason, and settled him comfortably in the big leather chair that sat before his desk. Edward immediately began snooping through drawers and Roy had to pry a compass out of his hand and move some other things out of reach while Edward complained in grunts and half growls. Alphonse came behind dutifully and smiled at them, picked up the phone and began dialing a number. Edward gave up his pillaging and sat there grinning like a damn fool, looking all around.

“There’s a couch in here,” he had pointed out to Roy, as if Roy hadn’t moved the couch in here himself, “it’s the one from your apartment,” Edward continued in glee, “it looks good over there by the window. You have art on the walls, how the fuck did that happen? Must have been Hawkeye, and that’s a throw rug? This General gig must pay well. Are those blinds wooden over on the window?”

Roy looked at him, puzzled and bemused, and looked around the room himself. He’d always considered it comfortable, but nothing dramatic.

“So now you’re the Interior Decorating Alchemist?” he’d asked with a smirk; but Edward’s answering attack was cut short by Alphonse proffering the phone receiver to his brother.

“It’s Winry,” Alphonse said with a smile and Edward hesitated. Alphonse shook he receiver back and forth, “she’s very excited and wants to talk to you,” Al said as Edward arched an eyebrow and eyed the receiver like it was a snake. Al stroked the receiver once as if to show Ed it wouldn’t bite him, “You should say hello, brother, it’s been a long time,” Alphonse coaxed gently and then insistently shoved the receiver in Ed’s face, sliding it over to his ear.

Ed made no move to actually take it, but he wet his lips and sort of gingerly put his ear against it, tentatively saying “Hello?”

After a moment, Ed’s expression gentled and he smiled a little. ”Don’t cry, it’s okay. I’m fine, really. I’m sorry I scared you that night.”

Then he was quiet a bit more. “You were wonderful,” Ed glanced at Roy, “the General found me straight away, I missed you too.” He reached up and touched the receiver with one finger and Alphonse seemed eager to give it to him, but he turned his gaze on Alphonse and dropped his hand. Alphonse sighed patiently.

Al then smiled at Roy and gave a little shrug of his shoulders, and Roy smiled back, happy that the family was complete again. The Rockbells and Elrics weren’t really related, but the boys were close to their hearts as if they were kin.

Edward’s expression changed a bit as he furrowed his eyebrows and bit his bottom lip. He gave Al a nervous glance and mouthed: ‘Automail’. Alphonse gave him a little helpless shrug and Edward glanced over at Roy, who raised his eyebrow back.

“About that, see, there were these circumstances…” Ed began, then grimaced, “It’s not like it was something I wanted to give up! NO, it wasn’t willingly!” Ed scowled, “I did NOT sell them! Why would I fucking sell them?! I need them to walk and grab things, you know! And punch people, yes. I’m not goddamn wreckless!”

Now Ed was all agitated and scooting around in the chair. Al had to keep repositioning the phone while Edward grimaced and winced and squinted his eye nearest the receiver. He gave Alphonse an irritated look and Al’s mouth pulled down on one side. He gestured with his free hand, palm up, as if to say ‘what could he do?’

“If you would just…” Ed’s voice was growing in volume, “NO, look…” his face was starting to turn red and Roy felt a little alarmed, but Alphonse just kept glancing over at Roy and smiling reassuringly, and no matter how far Edward leaned away from the receiver, he kept it right against his brother’s ear. Edward was developing an eye tick.

“HA! It came apart right at the elbow! Shoddy! Built to last! Don’t you come at me with that bullshit!” Edward howled. He glanced at Roy and turned his face away as if that meant Roy wouldn’t be able to hear him anymore “I don’t want to talk about it. NO! You can if you think you’re man enough…” Then his eyes got huge, “ OH SHIT, I DIDN’T MEAN IT, DON’T TAKE IT LIKE THAT!” he wailed, turning huge eyes on his younger brother who was leaning back from the receiver now as far as he could and yet still keep it pressed to Edward’s ear. Edward decided to go with self-preservation tactics. “LET ME SPEAK TO GRANNY!” he begged and kicked his foot.

Roy bit the inside of his cheek and turned away, wouldn’t do for Ed to see him grinning at this point. Edward was batting at Alphonse now who kept parrying with his free hand neatly.

Edward panted hard for a moment, then swallowed again and the rolled his eyes toward the receiver, shaking his head.

“She’s yelling,” he told Al and scratched the side of his nose. Then a smile came to rest on his face again, as his voice calmed and he leaned into the receiver a little. Al sighed and tried to grab his hand to make him take it, but Edward shoved his hand under his thigh.

“Hi Granny,” he said, looking at Al again with a half wicked grin. Al flattened his mouth and gave Roy a baleful look. Roy wondered what he’d done this time, because as far as he knew, he was standing way over here minding his own eavesdropping business.

“I’m still taller than you,” Edward said with a half laugh, “I missed you too,” he repeated for her as his eyes dropped to his lap, “I’m sorry to have worried you,” he said in very gentle tones. He listened for a few moments without speaking at all, shifting and glancing at Al. Then he looked away, working his finger in idle circles on the chair arm and looking a little uncomfortable. “Thank you,” he said to the receiver with a lot of emotion he tried to hide by sucking on the inside of his cheek. He tilted his head into the phone once more. “He’s here, you want to speak to him? I want to see you as soon as I can, too,” Ed looked at Al. “She wants to talk to you, Al,” and he turned his head and leaned away from the phone.

Alphonse took the receiver back and put it up to his ear, beginning a conversation to do with travel arrangements and the location of the General’s house. Roy looked back over at Ed who offered him a smile and leaned back in the chair. He looked truly content and relaxed. There was something different about the way he wore his emotions now, something genuine, but there were some things missing that if Roy took the time to ponder it, he thought he knew what those things were.

But Edward was home, plain and simple and he had everything he set out to achieve at the tender age of twelve. _(Well maybe he hadn’t set out to achieve Roy, but he had him none the less)_ Edward finally looked at peace with himself and the world, and for that, Roy Mustang would have walked through fire, and often did.

“So we’ll see you in three days,” Alphonse’s cheerful voice broke the General’s musings, “I’m looking forward to it, and I know brother is too, he’ll love to see you and Winry.”

Edward fixed Roy with a hard stare and leaned forward a little as if to convey urgency.

“Fucking hide me!” he pleaded and made a grabby motion toward Roy with his hand.

Alphonse laughed and said goodbye, batting at his brother. He hung up and gave himself a little shake, making his ponytail swing as he grinned at the General and his sibling.

“It’s so good to hear Granny’s voice,” Al said, “she sounded really relieved.”

“Well yeah, it was good to speak to Granny,” Ed said, “I’m glad we called her.”

“Winry sounded so happy, she was really worried. I love it hear Winry’s voice when she’s happy,” Al continued.

“Yeah,” Ed sneered, “her voice makes me want to take a sharpened pencil and shove it into my ear through to my brain, because let me tell you, it would probably hurt a lot less.”

The General grinned and put his hands on his hips.

“She’s a lovely young lady, Edward,” he said with mischief in his eye.

“If you like homicidal, wrench-wielding maniacs I guess,” Edward grumbled.

***

Roy strode into the kitchen, tugging on his cuffs and reaching up to make sure his patch was straight. It was nice out and the sunlight streamed though the large arched windows over the loveseat along the back kitchen wall. Alphonse looked up from the stove and grinned, sporting his usual short sleeves and ponytail. Roy grinned back.

“His majesty is languishing about in the master bedroom, Alphonse,” the General said, “I’m sure he is awaiting your pleasure and his breakfast.” He gave a mock bow and gestured toward the hall.

Al shook his head and chuckled, shuffling the pan on the eye of the stove.

“Well he’s just going to be lazing around all day and you’re going into the office, so you get breakfast first.” Al lifted and tilted the frying pan over a plate on the counter, sliding two sunny-side up eggs onto it beside toast and bacon.

“You made breakfast for me?” this made the General positively giddy; no one ever cooked for him. Well, Edward had tried in the past, and was reasonably good if Roy wanted noodles or something fried to an unrecognizable mass (it was fried, so it tasted good anyway), but this was a real treat. Alphonse was a good cook and would sometimes indulge his Pirate on the weekends he stayed over, but getting breakfast on something as mundane as a weekday was a luxury he could easily grow to live with. He wouldn’t complain at all! Roy sat down at his table, already set for his use with silver ware, butter dish, and salt and pepper shakers. It had been a while since he’d used it, really no need with his bachelor existence. He’d been in the habit of eating in the living room with the coffee table as a resting point for the deli wrappers that covered his dinners most nights.

Alphonse served him up with a flourish, a smile and a cup of coffee with cream, just as he liked. The boy always remembered; it was always so gratifying that he did, it was bliss. Roy leaned over the plate, almost as if to guard it. He almost looped his arm around it, but then he remembered Ed was in the bedroom and no matter how long his reach might have seemed in the past when there was something on Roy’s plate he wanted, it couldn’t reach _that_ far. The smell was so divine, he almost thought it a shame to eat such a lovely meal. Maybe he should preserve it somehow to show to Edward later, because if he was going to be the bread winner, Edward was going to have to learn to cook just like this, or better if possible. Then his mind skipped to an even better idea: with Edward as very tempting bait, maybe he could finally convince Alphonse to move in here, the house was plenty large enough for all three of them. Besides his bedroom, the den, living room, kitchen and Al’s room, the rest of the house sat empty. There had been no good reason to fill it; well, one of the vacant rooms would be filled today. When he heard of the Rockbell ladies’ impending visit, he’d ordered another bed set which was supposed to be delivered and set up by this evening. He glanced over at Alphonse who was now working on a mountain of food for his elder brother.

“Some delivery men will bring in bed furniture today,” Roy said, “Just direct them to one of the empty rooms to set it up.”

“There are four empty rooms, which one do you want it in?” Al asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Just whichever you’d like your family to sleep in,” Roy said, “it matters not to me,” then he picked up a piece of toast, hesitated and gestured with it, “Alphonse, about last night, on the phone…” he started.

“I knew this would come up, I was waiting for it,” Al said not looking at the General, instead peeling an orange to section up for his brother, “but it wasn’t you that gave it away, it was Ed, earlier,” Al continued.

“Well of course,” the General said quietly, “he’s not very good at hiding anything, even the things he wants to, but he expressed some concerns to me about…”

“I know,” Al interrupted, arranging the orange wedges on the plate in a symmetrical fashion, “he made it clear to me he wasn’t ready to share it with me as well and I’m confused as to why. Life is just life and you live it the way you see fit, you just try to be happy,” Al said.

“You are remarkably understanding,” the General said, “and you’ve always been so observant it sometimes makes my skin crawl,” he said with a half smile, “I will tell him you know, if you’d like me too,” he finished.

“I think maybe you better,” Al said, butting toast wedges up against the orange pinwheel, “I can already tell we have a few major battles ahead, what with him telling me I couldn’t date right off the bat when I’d only known him for all of a few hours. He’s very highly opinionated in regards to me, I can already tell. He has some strange idea in his head that I’m this person he has to take care of, but look at him, and not just because he’s missing his limbs- he’s hiding things from both of us and he won’t just give anything up willingly. It’s aggravating,” Al broke some eggs into a bowl for scrambling. For some reason, he didn’t know why, he just _knew_ Ed liked them that way instead of fried. He just _knew_. These things he knew, but didn’t _know_ , had been coming more and more frequently since Ed came back.

“He’s always been like that,” the General said, making a merry mess of his egg yolks with a toast point, “And why am I not surprised you have him already figured out?” he chuckled, “You’re just a wonder, Alphonse.”

“He’s easier and harder. I have these pre-set expectations and he’s slowly meeting them one by one. I have my observations now and theories being tested, but the results aren’t unfavorable. I have this place in my head, this place that remembers things I never knew to begin with,” Alphonse added some butter to the heating frying pan, “That place coincides with all the slamming-door looks that you and everyone at the office give me when I venture into the great unknown territory of the _before_. One day I will become a master of torture and get some concrete answers. I’ll torture Feury first, because he’ll be the easiest to break.” All whipped the eggs in the bowl with a fork and added some pepper.

The General almost choked on his coffee and set his cup down. He wiped his mouth with the napkin, not sure what to broach on the subject.

“It’s alright Pirate, enjoy your breakfast. I’ve gone this long with being a mushroom; I can go a bit longer. Brother is home now, so let’s just concentrate on that for a while, but here is another thing: You hear me? You hear me call him ‘Brother’? Like that’s his name? Well that’s another item from the things I never lived, yet know are solid facts. I’ve always called him Edward in every thought I had of him. When I had to address him directly, in ever theory I jotted down that contained a method of finding him, in every conversation spoken aloud on the subject of him, he was always ‘Edward’. But now the name Edward, or Ed if I think about it, is reserved for when I need to get a point across. He’s just ‘Brother’ now.” Al shrugged, “Funny how that worked out the moment I saw him.”

The General just smiled and made a lot of appreciative sounds eating his toast.

“HUNGRY,” came hurtling down the hall, around the doorframe and ruffled Alphonse’s hair.

“’Impatient Jerk’ is leaping to mind, too,” Alphonse said.

The General had once again tried to drink his coffee and nearly drown in it.

***

The General opened the door to his office, leaned in and had a look around. Havoc looked up from his seat behind the General’s very own desk where he had sat to organize the daily paperwork and lifted an eyebrow at him. Breda half turned in his chair and cast him a questioning look that wanted details on the woman who had kept him out of the office for four days _(and wouldn’t he just tilt right out of that chair if the General told that this particular woman would gut him for calling him a woman)_ , while Feury lit up like a street lamp in the approaching dusk and stood half way out of his chair with his hands on the table. Roy was always amused _(and flattered)_ by Feury’s devotion and admiration. Though he seemed a bit old for it now, Roy hoped he never outgrew it. Falman did the most amazing bit of quivering with just his nostrils and his mouth flattened slightly. It was a remarkable amount of facial expression that Roy had worked on this long and hard for years, and he felt gratified. Colonel Hawkeye was rare in attendance this early in the morning anymore. She had her own budding staff to deal with and Roy knew, sooner or later, she’d break down and tell him about an impending transfer. It felt funny and it hurt, but it also felt wonderful and happy. However, he wouldn’t deny that it felt _relieving_ , because as much as he admired the woman, he could use a goddamn break. All in all, life was now grand again and he wished he could share just how grand it was with the rest of them, but Edward had tugged on his collar and asked of him a favor.

 _I want to tell them all that you are back, it will make them so happy,_ the General said.

 _I know, I want to see them all, but for right now,_ Edward tugged on the General’s collar a little, his fingers still lingering there from where he grabbed it during the first goodbye kiss, _I just want to be with you and Alphonse. I want to get myself back together, literally. If you told them, they would want to come and see me, and I’m grateful, I really am, but this is good right now. This is what I want right now. Can you wait a little, would you mind?_

He’d asked so damn nicely that Roy figured Alphonse had coached him. How could he say no to that? He acquiesced and took another kiss or two _(or three)_ as payment for his silence and now here he was, the second happiest moment in his entire life and he couldn’t share it.

 _Second happiest?_ a blonde in his head questioned, mouth drawing down.

 _The first happiest is when someone said three little words to me in a hayloft,_ the General said to the threatening frown.

Kisses four, five, six and seven had followed that.

***

“Are you just going to hang in the doorway, sir, or are you waiting on applause for showing up for work?” Havoc said and rolled his toothpick to the opposite side of his mouth.

The Lieutenant Colonel had developed a very Hawkeye-like attitude to Roy’s work ethics and it was very… annoying, but not undeserved, he supposed. It’s not like practicing Hawkeye’s methods of General wrangling was a bad thing, in fact, Havoc stood to benefit from it in the long run, so Roy had played the better man and let him get away with it. Well not let him per se, Havoc had become wickedly sharp once he realized he was destined for greatness and had whet his wit and his tongue against the then Major General in anticipation, so Roy figured he should really just be used to it by now.

Roy made a flourish with his right hand in acknowledgement of Havoc’s wit. He then straightened and walked in a few paces, spread his arms wide, clapped his hands together, templed them and held them to his chin. He squinted with his one good eye at the ceiling a moment, then dropped his arms and looped them behind his back, lacing his fingers.

“Tell me,” he said, now that they had all riveted to him and his display of posturing for dominance which males often did, especially him, “what happens when your life’s ambitions have been reached?” he said casually, “What happens when the single most obtainable goal in your imagination has been not only met, but exceeded, and you’re left raw and bleeding in it’s wake, _never_ thinking it would happen, because you were sure you’d made that one goal just that side of unattainable?” he took a few more paces toward his desk, which was bigger than any desk had a right to be. It had a marble top because he was a General, and a resting place for a sliver pen, lovingly enshrined in a specially made glass case, because it had finally, truly, died. “What then,” he asked his assembled forces, “tell me, what is left?”

“I need to thank the great hallelujah,” Breda said, “because man, I didn’t think you’d EVER start dating again. This must be one incredible piece of ass to have your peacock tail swaggering all over the office like the old days. Oh you have to spill, you so have to spill,” he chortled, then as an afterthought, “sir.”

“The next unattainable goal,” Feury said, pretending Breda didn’t exist, “You always said that the sky’s the limit. I remember the speech you gave to our class in boot camp after burning down half the rec hall, it was magnificent, I’ve never forgotten it,” Feury saluted, “and good to have you back, sir!”

“You didn’t file any vacation request forms, sir,” Falman said in a trying to be friendly and welcoming back way, but failing miserably, “and you’ve thrown me off schedule because I’ve had to leave the file folder in the slot on top of the cabinets.”

Roy unclasped his hands and bounced a little on the balls of his feet, and then pointed to his stalwart men, one by one.

“Almost, but not quite, Breda. As I told someone else recently, I don’t kiss and tell,” his finger swung to Feury, “You’re a damn fine addition to my team and I will never willingly you let go,” he informed the boy, now man, who was a Second Lieutenant and watched him practically wiggle in glee. His digit then tracked its way to Falman, who stiffened visibly at the onslaught, “I’m sorry that I’ve messed with your routine and I appreciate the attempt at a welcome back. I’ll have Havoc fill them all out for me post haste,” he said. Then, speaking of Havoc, (and having Havoc close to speak to) the General put one hand on his hip and turned back to regard him, still sitting in the General’s own chair behind the General’s own desk.

“Now that we’ve heard from the voyeur, the fan club and…” he stopped for a moment, “Falman,” Havoc concluded, “let me say that while I’m glad you finally decided to grace us with your presence, you have made me a very busy man and I will now take my paperwork-induced wrath out on you. I think you should let us know when the urge to be a complete slacker hits you so we can be prepared in advance. I take it that no amount of huffing and sighing is going to make you spill your guts, but I know for a fact you will tell the Colonel, because you still like your life. I’m exceedingly jealous that she rates an explanation and I don’t, but I’ll let it go for now with the anticipatory evil glee that these backlogs of reports are going to make your eye fall out of your skull and roll around on your marble topped desk, sir.”

“My god, man,” the General said, clearly impressed, “the Colonel HAS gotten her hooks into you. She is a force more deadly than I ever imagined.”

Havoc, with his elbows on the desk, spread his hands in a helpless gesture and rolled his toothpick again.

“It’s hard not to pay attention when she keeps lovingly stroking the pistol at her side,” Havoc said.

“Feel my pain,” the General said, “Now get your ass out of my chair and away from my desk. I’m still the top dog here and you have yet to be able to out posture me,” the General raised his eyebrow, tilted his head and smirked.

Havoc grinned, stood and backed from the chair, bowing toward it and making a sweep of his arm.

“It’s only a matter of time,” he promised, “but for now, I shall let you have the bigger balls and smellier butt, sir.” He bowed his head in mock surrender.

“Ha, ha, ha,” the General said and took his position of honor, immediately slouching in his chair, “bring it on gentlemen, I’m not afraid… I’m not afraid.”

Havoc leaned over and nudged the first stack of paperwork toward him. The General whined.

***

Boredom was evil, especially if it wore the face of Edward Elric. At first it had been pleasant, he was fed a very large breakfast and fawned on by his little brother and that made him happy. Then the General coming to say goodbye for the day had dampened it a little and Alphonse announced that he had to do something terribly important on the other side of the house. As a matter of fact, he had to go _outside_ the house and clear around to the other side, and might not be back for a good fifteen minutes. Edward thought it a little odd that Al would just announce it like that, but then he was happy again because he could kiss the General goodbye a lot, and grope him.

After the General had managed to wiggle himself free, Alphonse came back and set up house on the bed, bringing Ed a lot of books. That was interesting for a bit, but Ed didn’t need to read books anymore, not like he used to, so he pushed them aside and wiggled his toes, but his foot didn’t hold his attention very long either. He was feeling playful and giddy because those emotions had been cooped up too long, and now that they had broken their pen and were running free, there was no stopping them. He began tugging on the end of Al’s ponytail. Al would swat at him and shake his head and snort, because he was writing furiously in a little journal. Edward waited at intervals before going for the long sweep of dark gold hair hanging down his little brother’s back again, doing it enough times that Alphonse scooted out of his reach, so then the teasing had to become verbal.

“What are you doing?” Edward asked.

“Writing in my journal,” Alphonse said in tones that knew he knew Edward knew exactly what he was doing.

“What are you writing about?” Edward prompted.

“Things that have been happening, some observations, some notes for a report I have due,” Alphonse said.

“Are you writing about me?” Edward said, flopping over on the pillows, stretching and trying to catch the edge of Alphonse’s shirt but not quite making it.

“Yes, you’re in here,” Alphonse said in that ‘You’re borderline annoying me right now’ tone.

“What are you saying?” Edward pressed and hitched himself down a little, still trying to catch hold of Alphonse’s shirt.

“It’s my journal, it’s private,” Al informed him, scooting a little further away.

“You can tell me,” Edward said, “I won’t tell anyone. I can keep a secret,” he reached and poked Alphonse in the back with his toes.

“No you can’t,” Alphonse said, “I can tell just by looking at you how lousy you are at keeping secrets,” he never looked in Ed’s direction, but reached behind him and tried to poke the offending foot with his pencil.

“Aw come on, it’s something bad isn’t it, that’s why you won’t tell me, “ Edward teased, “you’re writing bad things about you big brother, you should be ashamed.”

“I’m not going to tell you, you’ll just have to stew. They may be bad or they may be good, I’ll guess you’ll never know,” Alphonse teased right back.

“You picked up a mean streak,” Edward said, “you used to tell me everything. Who taught you to be stingy, I’d like to kick their ass,” he said with a mock huff.

“You’d just like to kick ass,” Alphonse said, “for the fun of it, you have that type of personality. No one taught me how to tease you, I picked that up on my own.”

“I liked you better before,” Edward groused, “when you thought I was the greatest thing on the planet. I guess all good things come to an end, I just wish I’d been around more to see it.”

“Colonel Hawkeye is the greatest thing on the planet,” Alphonse said and then seemed to blush and hunch over his journal, “I mean, the Pirate is, but you’re back now, I’m sure you will take over soon.”

Edward raised an eyebrow. Well, well, well… what was this? That sounded just like a certain other teenage Alchemist having random thoughts about a dastardly dark-haired Colonel. Edward knew a crush, he’d harbored one for a year or two before a fateful night in the bastard’s kitchen, but here was Alphonse, following in his footsteps. He was amused and a little alarmed. Riza Hawkeye wasn’t the type to gently push aside a young boy’s heated glances and mumbled confessions; he didn’t want Alphonse to get hurt, but that wouldn’t keep him from teasing him about it.

“You like Hawkeye,” Edward said sing song, “have you told her?”

“NO,” Alphonse said, cheeks ablaze, “don’t be silly, I don’t like her like _that_ ,” he rushed on, “I just admire her is all. She’s smart and self assured and she’s a Colonel and people respect her, so I wish to emulate her is all. I mean not like be her or anything,” Al said.

“Because you’re too busy trying to be me,” Ed interjected gleefully, “and it’s so cute!” he added.

“Shut up!” Alphonse snorted then grimaced, “See? You make say very rude things, you’re such a bad influence, Winry was right!”

“Winry wouldn’t know right if it bit her on the ass, and believe me, that’s all the action she would get. No man in their right mind would come near that without a death wish and a will all made out in advance,” Edward huffed, stretching out and looking at the ceiling.

“That is so mean,” Alphonse said, “she was worried for you, she cried over you at that stupid funeral. I don’t know why you’re so mean to her,” Al groused.

“She came to my funeral,” Ed said, “she probably waited until you were all gone to screech about having to bury such fine automail. Hell, if I was actually in there, she’d have probably dug me back up with her bare hands and snatched it off my body to take home and enshrine the goddamn stuff,” Ed snorted.

Alphonse turned around and popped Edward loudly on his stub. Edward yelped and they both stared at each other, then Alphonse threw his hands in the air.

“NOW see what you made me do! I am never prone to physical confrontation! I swear, around you I lose all decorum!” he accused.

“You could be plenty physical when you needed to,” Edward yelled back, rubbing the smarting spot on his thigh, “You would chortle gleefully while you kicked my ass and dangled me out windows, telling me the whole time it was for my own good!”

Alphonse quieted then and lowered his arms, fixing Ed with such an intense stare that Edward scooted back against the headboard.

“You’re going to tell me things,” Alphonse Elric said, soft and low, “things no one else will tell me, because you’re here now and I want to know. There will be no hiding things to protect my feelings anymore,” Alphonse Elric grinned a grin and Edward Elric swallowed hard. He’d never seen such a look on anyone’s face, it was a look meant to nullify and petrify simultaneously, it was meant to stun its victim into submission, like how a poisonous spider bites its prey and pumps it with venom before moving in for the kill. It was a look that Edward Elric would see in his dreams for years to come, and nothing, not even the memory of the faces of sneering Sins would top it. He pressed himself hard against the headboard and heard a frightened whine. He concluded that it had escaped from his belly and that he could feel his recently dropped balls trying to climb back up into his body.

Alphonse leaned toward him then, one hand on the bed. The grin was still there, but now it was getting closer and Edward scrabbled with his one hand and one leg but could not force his matter through the headboard. He wondered if he could claw and alchemic array with his fingernails on the headboard in time, but it was looking more and more unlikely the closer Alphonse leaned.

“It won’t be so bad, brother,” Alphonse said, voice belying the putrefying evil curve that was this grin from hell, “it will be just like old times.”

Edward Elric did the only thing he could think of to do, he had a spasm, windmilled and screamed.

“I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,” he shrieked, “AND THE GENERAL ISN’T HERE WHY ISN’T HE HERE NEVERMIND YOU’LL HAVE TO TAKE ME!”

Alphonse blinked and the grin went away. He looked bemused and sat back a little.

“Well there is no need to shout,” Al said, sliding off the bed and holding out his arms, “Come on, let’s go.”

***

Of course fate decreed that the furniture show up as Ed was on the can. Al went to let them in and then changed his mind three times about which room the furniture was to go into, so Ed was left to sit and ponder in an appropriate place to do so.

Alphonse was smart, much smarter than Ed himself he gave in grudgingly, but obviously the General had been able to withhold information. His brother had what no other being had ever had before, he had gotten to start over. So was it really safe and wise for the Alphonse of now to remember the Alphonse of before? Alphonse had two lives, running parallel to each other from the age of ten on, and just from the differences Ed had already run into, he knew that Al’s experiences _outside_ of Ed’s influences were vastly different. As much as that hurt, here was an Alphonse who had grown up on his own. Not that he wasn’t magnificent of course, but he was _different_. He didn’t ask Ed’s opinion, he didn’t take Ed’s teasing with only good humor to show for it, he didn’t run to Ed with questions immediately _(in fact, only when he figured out Ed was helpless, trapped and the only one who could answer his questions, had he broached that)_ , he didn’t look to Ed first. He looked… to Roy.

He’d looked to Roy, saluted Roy in the living room when they saw each other in the flesh again at long last. He’d run to Roy when Ed’s presence had confused him when they’d first tried to talk and he turned to Roy in every decision they had made since Ed had gotten back. It was his ‘Pirate’ he deferred to in a way achingly familiar when the word ‘Brother’ used to leave his lips first, but that shouldn’t bother Ed. After all, he wasn’t here and he should be grateful that Al has someone as wonderful as Roy to look out for him in Ed’s absence, right? He rubbed his knee in agitation. That’s not really what he was trying to figure out was it? No, he was trying to figure out how dangerous it might be if Al _did_ regain his memories. He would have to talk to… Roy about it. It seemed they were both running to him now.

He was chewing his lip when the bathroom door opened. He jumped and almost yelled “Occupied!” but then remembered it was just Alphonse and that he was done ages ago. As Al grunted and helped him hop from the bathroom, Edward found he didn’t want to return to the four walls of inner turmoil-inducing dilemma that the bedroom could be, since he had little to do than sit there among Roy cologne-scented pillows. So, “Take me to the den.” he said. Al had looked at him, but then nodded and they got about halfway down the hall before Ed over balanced himself and smashed them into the wall. Some negotiating and rearranging followed, and off they went again for a few feet, only to hit the wall once more. Alphonse was a bit taller than Ed, but Ed was broader and heavier, and his arm was on the wrong side of his body to be of any help, like say hooking over his little brother’s shoulders. Alphonse propped him on the wall, stood back and rubbed his chin, then he took his elder brother’s shoulders and pressed down. Ed protested to begin with, but wasn’t in a good position to maintain it and was soon sitting on his ass on the hardwood floor. Al then turned him around, got one hand under the arm that had an armpit, the other lightly gripped the automail port and Alphonse dragged his brother backwards down the hall, sliding him on his ass.

They proceeded down the long hall in this manner and Ed complained the entire time, but they made it to the den and with some hoisting and straining on Al’s part, they even got Ed up into the big leather chair that sat before the desk. That is when they discovered it had wheels and they both grumbled over it, but at least if they needed it, they would have the knowledge now. Edward looked around the room and then at his brother and sighed.

“Bored of the bedroom?” Al asked with a smile, “let’s find something for you to do and I’ll go make you some lunch,” he offered.

Edward nodded and sort of pushed himself around in the chair. He spied a familiar wooden box, sitting on the credenza under the big window.

“Hey I know,” Ed said, “let’s play the phonograph.”

Al turned to look at the phonograph in its place of honor. He was a little uneasy about it, it was one of the few things the General showed a true possessiveness over, especially one certain disc in the collection that must have been pressed from the rarest materials on earth, from the way the General handled it and had, without trying to seem obsessive, asked Alphonse not to touch.

“I don’t know,” Al said hesitantly, “the General is very fond of it and he doesn’t really like for me to touch it. Let’s do something else,” he looked at Ed hopefully.

“No, it will be fine,” Ed reassured, “I’ve used it before. If you’re nervous, bring it over here to the desk and I’ll work it.”

“I can work it,” Al huffed. Ed wasn’t the only prodigy in the family, “it’s just… okay, fine,” Al walked over to where the phonograph sat and opened the lid. It was very plain. Its crank had a porcelain handle, but the flowers that were painted on it were worn off in a couple of distinct spots. Alphonse remembered the first time he’d turned the crank and how he’d tried to match his palm and the thick of his thumb with the spots the General had worn on it. The box the discs themselves were in was one of Alphonse’s own alchemic creations and was just tall enough so only enough of the discs stuck over the top to get a good grip. It was solid and wooden and it had some fanciful flames running along its edges that weren’t very good, but the General had been very pleased when he’d received the box for his birthday. Alphonse of then, thirteen years old, had watched the General take all the discs out of the old holder and place them one by one in the new one. Then Alphonse cranked the handle and they played the special disc that made the General look soft and sad after a while. Alphonse had liked the song at the start, but by the end he wished they’d never listened to it because of the way it made his Pirate look.

Al felt in a way he had more of a right to work it than Ed, he fingered the top of the discs.

“Play that song the bastard likes,” Ed said behind him, “you know the one, he used to listen to it all the time. The one that woman sings, about blue skies.”

Well naturally, Ed would hone in on just the song Alphonse had just remembered disliking. It was _that_ disc. Better to just lie than argue with him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he plucked a disc out at random, carefully avoiding _that_ disc in the back, “he listens to this quite a bit,” Al unsleeved it, put it carefully on the turntable and began to crank the handle.

Ed wrinkled his nose as the swing jazz filled up the room, cocked his head, listened and shrugged. Al figured this was a sign of approval. So, Edward had heard the phonograph before. He knew what it was to the General and he had cranked the crank as well. Would there ever be anything in Alphonse’s life that Ed hadn’t done _first_? Al rubbed the back of his neck and scolded himself. Really, it’s not like they were in a competition, they were brothers and Edward was the eldest and had done things first. It used to be that Alphonse preened when he was compared to his legendary elder brother, but now that his brother was all too flesh and blood and there, in the General’s house, so familiar with the General’s things, so familiar with the _General_ in a way that wasn’t… right…

“I’ll get lunch,” Al said briskly and strode out of the room before Ed had a chance to object.

***

The Colonel stopped by just before the General was leaving to go home. She came in and chased Havoc out with her eyes, then approached the big desk and snapped a salute. The General stood, snapped a salute back and they looked at each other for long moments. He finally broke the silence.

“You spoke to Al,” the General asked.

“I did, sir,” the Colonel said, “I am relieved that Edward has been retrieved safely,” she said.

“It’s a miracle,” the General said, “and no one retrieved him, he did it all on his own,” then he leaned forward a little, “he’s asked me to keep it under wraps for the moment. I know he doesn’t mean it as any slight to anyone, especially not to someone who cared for his little brother in his absence.”

“I would never impute his intentions, sir. After all, as he has taught us all, Edward Elric knows what is good for Edward Elric. Returning from the dead is no small feat,” she was still beautiful and hard, but not as hard as she had been, and her eyes showed her gratitude for Roy’s bit of explanation.

“I’m sure Edward wouldn’t mind if _you_ knew,” the General furthered, “I know that Alphonse’s trust is well placed. After all, you’ve held my own life in your very capable hands more than once,” He allowed himself a smile, “You’ll be leaving me for the East soon,” he continued and held up a hand to silence her when she moved her mouth to speak, “and my congratulations are in order to you, no one deserves it more, but I will miss you very much around here. It won’t be the same.”

“Sir,” she said, then looked up at him, “and sir, I’m happy for you. That Edward has come back… to you,” she said it carefully, schooled the emotion just right so it was not much of a breech of her self maintained protocol.

“Colonel, I would kiss you,” the General said, “but then you’d write me up and Falman would have more work, so I’ll refrain.”

She snapped her razor salute again.

“Good evening, General,” she said and turned to go.

“And to you Colonel,” Roy said as she walked away.

***

He danced in the front door, humming. The music had waved through the mail slot as he approached the house. She had laughed huskily and told him in that silky voice that he was just the thing she needed to chase the blues away. Oh how he believed her and what a nice way to come home and OH MY GOD, my phonograph! Then, even as she tried to soothe him, he was dashing down the hall while a movie of a very drunk, very beautiful, fifteen year old was playing through his head, having been abandoned by his brother and wearing his uniform like a five-year-old girl wears her mother’s dress. He’d been so alluring and so flushed, but all of Roy’s discs were all over the floor and the living room had been nothing short of Armageddon.

He stopped in the doorway of the den, panting, afraid to look really, but knowing he had no choice. Ed and Alphonse blinked up at him from where they sat on the floor, both on cushions they had pulled off the couch, a chessboard between them. The den was a bit messy, books were opened and it looked like Alphonse had suffered one of his infamous theory-writing seizures, because little stacks of paper were also on the floor, but arranged so neatly as to be the tidiest mess the General had ever seen. Dirty dishes that held the remainder of lunch sat abandoned on the coffee table and Ed had a cigar clenched in his teeth. Roy raised his eyebrow, but then remembered he had a box from a few years ago stashed in one of the desk drawers. Why Ed was clenching it in his teeth, Roy did not know. The phonograph looked fine, though. No discs where scattered about, it all looked so… homey and natural.

Alphonse sat up on his knees suddenly, reached down and moved a chess piece. “Checkmate”, he said casually, climbing to his feet. He crossed over to Roy in the doorway, smiled and pushed past him. Roy turned and watched him walk down the hall toward his room, then looked back at Ed, but Ed was scowling at the chessboard as he bounced the cigar up and down in the corner of his mouth like a yoyo, so Roy stepped into the den and retrieved the dirty dishes.

“How does he always fuckin’ do that,” Ed mumbled, but not directly at the General, so Roy shrugged and carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen, putting them in the sink. Then remembered he still had his coat on and shrugged it off, heading for the foyer, meeting up with Alphonse in the hallway. Alphonse had his shoulder case and smiled pleasantly enough, still not saying anything. Neither one of them had extended a greeting home, which was a bit odd, and Al went and knelt in the den, gathering up his papers.

“Well good evening, you two,” the General called down the hall from where he was hanging his coat, “I’m home in case you missed my entrance the first time,” he furthered.

“Evening!” Ed called out and knocked over his King on the chessboard.

“Evening!” Alphonse called out, snapping his shoulder case up and climbing to his feet again.

Roy went back to the den and clapped his hands together, looking at the brothers. They looked at him, then at each other for a few moments, then away again.

"Well, are we having dinner?" the General asked, feeling as if he'd walked in on something other than what it appeared and felt the need to speak out loud to worm his way in. Ed shrugged and plucked the cigar from his mouth, tossing it at the coffee table. Al half smiled.

“I have a report due,” Al said, “now that you’re back, I think I’m going to head for the dorms,” he looked over at Ed when his elder sibling made a protesting noise, “I can’t get anything done here because the attention whore won’t let me, so I leave him this evening to you, General. I know that Winry and Granny will be here tomorrow and I’ll come over once I’ve handed in my report. Could you possibly go in late and stay with him until one or the other of us arrive?”

Edward snorted behind him, and shifted around on his couch pillow to face them better.

“Some way to refer to your older brother, I told you I would help you write your report if you recall, but that didn’t satisfy you. You’re the one who suggested you beat me at chess several times,” Ed sniffed, “and did,” he grumbled.

So it wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. Alphonse was different, Edward was different, they were going to have to get used to each other again and that was just the way it was going to be. Time apart was a great way to get to know you’re feelings, Roy knew he’d become an expert on this in the last six years, so he clapped Alphonse on the shoulder and nodded.

“I’m pretty much a big cheese now and can go into the office when I want, so that will be fine Alphonse, just call…” he started.

“And let you know when I’m coming,” Alphonse finished for him with a smile, “Of course General, just like always.”

Roy squeezed his shoulder and Alphonse turned to Ed, offering a smile that said he was sorry to go (but not too much) and raised his hand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, brother,” he said and Edward began a series of scoots using his heel and the sofa cushion. Roy and Al just stood and watched him while he got up pretty good speed. He managed to get over to where they were and grab Al around the leg with his arm, and Al realized he’d gotten himself into a trap. For the next few minutes, Roy stood back grinning while Alphonse dragged Edward from the den, into the hall and down to the front door, grunting the entire time he did.

He finally won his freedom by whining and trying to slam Ed’s arm in the front door. When he was gone, Ed sighed heavily, looked at Roy with many pitiful expressions and Roy sighed as well. “You need a bath,” He said.

“You think I smell.” Ed replied.

***

It was the true measure of the man.

Where Edward had fit so neatly under his chin before, Edward’s hair now tickled his nose, he had to drape his legs farther over the side of the tub and it was a more of a weight against his chest, but he didn’t mind. No, he would never complain at all.

It was a nod to his maturity that was only natural with the passage of time.

Roy was a man of authority. He was used to being in command, but now his hands were being directed. The flush was still there, but it had different meaning on the young man’s cheeks and the moans where heavier, the need more pronounced. Sexual maturity looked good on Edward Elric and the way he gripped Roy’s wrist tightly and directed the action while he got a leisurely bathtub hand job was almost as erotic as the act itself.

In the lazy afterwards, Edward tilted his head back on Roy’s shoulder, on his left side, and eyed the patch.

“Tell me what happened,” Edward said. Roy knew he would eventually have had to give an explanation and now was as good a time as any. He told Edward of a mansion and a child and a monster, of a wine cellar and blood and fire. He told him of the rage and the horror and the helplessness, and why he had that long scar on his shoulder. He haltingly told him of a small, lifeless body he clutched as he stumbled through the fire, that tiny child who in the end had been his savior at the price of his own short life.

Then, when freedom of the nightmare was gained, like every good nightmare should, it came again in the form of a twisted mad man and a gunshot. He really didn’t remember much after that, until the hospital and the pain and the loss and the grief. He didn’t spare many details on those things; he’d already lived them enough. Edward was quiet as he had been through the whole stumbling explanation, gently rubbing his fingers around the arm resting around his abdomen and trailing them down to the hand lying on his stomach. He turned his forehead against Roy’s jaw and sighed.

“I wish that I had been there for you, to protect you like I promised,” he said softly.

“You were off doing what needed to be done, the same as I was. You didn’t go back on your promise, Edward, you never have and you never will,” Roy murmured, his own fingers moving slowly back and forth over Edward’s belly, “You went off and found us Alphonse,” he continued, “and we’re all richer for that.”

Edward lifted his hand then, reaching up and back, fingertips pressed to the eye patch. Roy immediately turned his head and reached up to brush Edward’s hand away.

“It’s funny to wear it in the tub, take it off,” Edward said.

“No,” Roy returned and tightened his jaw.

“Why not, take it off,” Edward continued, “you’re not going to be able to sleep in it.”

It then occurred to Roy that since Edward’s return, he hadn’t slept with him. The first couple of days, Edward had been exhausted and Roy had slept in Alphonse’s room to let the young man rest undisturbed. Then Alphonse himself had been there every night since until tonight, sleeping at his brother’s side, and Roy hadn’t begrudged them the comfort of each other’s presence. But tonight, for the first time since his return, Roy would be sleeping at his lover’s side. He didn’t turn his face back to Edward’s hand and he made no reply to Edward’s statement, he’d just have to try it and see how it worked out, if he could sleep with it.

“Why won’t you show me,” Edward asked suddenly, “why, do you think I’d turn away?”

Roy mulled that over, but he knew the answers. It was his personal demon. It wasn’t something you just gave the world, all this darkness and inner turmoil, it wasn’t something that should be shown the _light_. Behind his eye patch lurked a monster, one that spouted philosophy and ran a country and murdered his best friend and snapped the neck of his own child. He still lurked there and if Roy let Edward see him, then he might lose sight of Edward too, and that he would never allow to happen; never again. Behind his monster was a man, desperate and frightened, who knew he’d taken on too much and the only thing that saved him was the sacrifice of angels. Behind the man were memories, of pain and hospitals, hopelessness and longing, and the sense of utter desolation at what his life had become, because at the time, all of it meant nothing, for the want of one blonde haired boy who’d run off into the sunset, and that was selfishness he’d never show the world.

The General wasn’t allowed to be selfish and his eye patch reminded him of that, so if the time ever came again, all he’d have to do is let himself feel it against his cheek, and in that moment he could let go of everything.

As he sat in the tub, with the water cooling and everything leaning against his chest, he had no words to tell him and so he let his silence settle between them and prayed that Edward let it go. But, he reminded himself as he thought of who he was thinking about, that wouldn’t be enough, for Edward was the personification of determination who had conquered personal demons and to a man like him, Roy’s might mean nothing, so he tried to reason out some way to satisfy him and keep his eye patch at the same time.

“I don’t have to give you everything, Edward,” he said and marveled at his selfishness. It was truly a flaw that he shouldn’t be allowed.

The same nod to Edward’s maturity saved him once again.

“I understand,” Edward said, lowering his hand, “maybe one day you’ll let me see and let me share what you’re hiding.”

It was always the angels to his rescue, the General thought wryly. Why, he’d never understand.  



	20. Chapter 20

Edward bows. Alphonse bows.

Until the General kicks one of them into the other, the dance doesn't begin.

The music starts and they are nervous and tentative, each trying to learn the others’ moves without stepping on toes. They both turn to look at the General over their shoulder as they move about the dance floor.

The General just clasps his hands behind his back and looks the other way; in this he is the wallflower.

The only thing that he can do is make sure the phonograph stays cranked until they learn to dance.

***

Pinako Rockbell would make a damn fine Fuhrer.

With her granddaughter at her right hand, she would have made an impressive bid for global domination.

Roy would have supported her and volunteered for duty, hell he even would have written her an anthem, and he couldn’t write.

She had swept into the house like a small hurricane and moved all before her. Alphonse had arrived only a bit before the Rockbell women and he hadn’t been motionless since. There were boxes to carry in _(the beleaguered cab driver had given the General quite the evil eye)_ , and not just carried in, carted as if they were either pure gold or contained the most unstable and volatile explosives available. Alphonse’s appearance was immediately addressed as well, he was too thin, he wasn’t eating, his hair was too long, it needed clipping and what was he doing carrying in boxes when Mr. Mustang was perfectly capable of doing it? Alphonse was to escort them, post haste, to his brother, the brother he should be hovering over at this very moment. Then Roy was pointed to the boxes and left there to ponder them alone as the troop of the Rockbell-Elric brigade marched down the hall to their hapless victim, trapped immobile in the master bedroom.

The first shouts Roy heard were tinged with joy. He could tell young Ms. Rockbell’s voice, high in excitement and tears, Ed’s startled yelp of surprise and some indulgent chuckling from the elder Mrs. Rockbell. But then there were questioning tones, words Roy couldn’t quite make out as he staggered under the weight of one box to the room Alphonse had picked out to be the Rockbell’s temporary home. He was sure it was this room; it must be the room next to it, no wait… where had Alphonse hidden the furniture?

Then there was another yelp from Ed, but this one wasn’t surprise at all. Young Ms. Rockbell’s voice was high and shrill, with some loud thumping sounds that sounded like the headboard striking the wall _(he was going to have the move the bed out a bit. Even though in his memories, Roy associated headboard thumping with good things, it might keep others in the house awake)_ , Roy headed down to investigate and stuck his head in curiously. Young Ms. Rockbell had Edward by the bangs and was screaming in his face while maintaining the handhold. She said things about recklessness, carelessness and automail in such a rapid fire manner, that those were the only three words Roy could pick out. Then, to illustrate a point or just to emphasis her argument, she would thump Ed’s head against the headboard.

Ed, on his part, was trying to defend himself by flailing with his only available limbs. Roy might have dashed to his rescue, but the young lady was just too frightening, so he hovered in the doorway and contemplated fleeing on his own. Then Ed saw him and flailed in his direction, trying to shift some of the blame on Roy himself, and perhaps save his own life.

“I told him,” Ed got out before another smash into the head board, “to save the ones he took off of me,” thump, “but I don’t know what,” thump thump, “he did with them!”

Neither Alphonse nor the elder Mrs. Rockbell looked the least bit concerned with the proceedings, so the General tried to keep himself schooled as well, but he still jumped a bit when the young Ms. Rockbell turned to look at him.

 _That might have been for other reasons as well…_

“They are in the hall closet,” the General said hurriedly and took a half step back, just in case, “I can get them if you would like to see them,” he hurried ahead, “Ed told me to throw them away, actually,” he added to get back at his lover for trying to get him thumped as well, _(he was aware that misery loved company, but he had enough of his own without Ed’s visiting)_ “but I saved them.” The General nodded and smiled, because women liked him when he smiled, they tended to want to be nice to him then, and later on they wanted to touch him, which had never been bad in the past.

Ms. Rockbell subsided a bit and released Edward. He immediately flailed in the direction of the elder Mrs. Rockbell who went over for a hug. The insanity left for a moment as the elder woman patted his back and Edward pressed his face into her shoulder. She said soft things to him and everyone shifted a bit, looking the other way, but once she released him, the welcome home fled as if he’d never been gone and it was business as usual.

“I can’t believe you, Ed,” Winry Rockbell said, “but at least your money is as good as anybody else’s. You’re damn lucky I’ve been developing prototypes.”

“I think you’ll like the new designs, kid,” Pinako Rockbell said, “we’ve made some modifications and Winry picked up a trick or two in Rush Valley studying with the mechanics there.”

“Oh I don’t need anything fancy, just make them like last time,” Ed said with a wave of his only hand, “they worked well enough for just being the plain type.”

Roy noted that Ed’s good friends ‘tactlessness’ and ‘oblivion’ had shown up to be at his side in his time of need. He then noticed that young Ms. Rockbell seemed to be groping all about her waist for something. She was a very attractive girl and had a lovely waist, but then out of the corner of his eye he saw Alphonse take a step back and that made Roy a bit alarmed.

“Wrench,” Alphonse muttered, “she doesn’t realize she’s not wearing her tool belt,” and Alphonse did look a little concerned for his brother.

Ed noticed the motion too and his eyes got very large. “What did I say?!” he yelled, but it didn’t help him, nor did his attempt to climb the headboard. Ms. Rockbell tensed up and seemed to gather herself, Edward just flopped into the pillows, whimpering and closing his eyes. Young Ms. Rockbell landed on him and grabbed him by his bangs again, but this time, mercifully, she was beating him into pillows. Roy thought that had been a clever move on Ed’s part, all the same.

“PLAIN?!” she screeched, “there was nothing plain about those absolute marvels of engineering perfection!” she howled, “I’ll plain your head right up your stupid ass, you idiot! You want plain, I can get some sticks and string and we’ll fix you right up, but that will be after I shove the sticks up your ass and put little wheels on them so you can just roll around! I’ll plain you into the next century, you bean-sized ingrate and when I’m done with that, if I decide your lips are worthy to speak the name ROCKBELL, I’ll take the string and loop it through your nostrils and tie it to the back of a bull! He can lead you around and occasionally leave you presents that will remind you just WHAT came out of your filthy mouth when you said the word PLAIN!”

Roy was quite impressed. In fact, he was impressed enough that he backed out of the room, down the hall and was busy carting boxes once again.

Lover or not, Ed was on his own.

***

When Roy was brave enough to venture back, things had gotten quite a bit calmer. Pinako Rockbell decided to check Ed over to see if he was physically fit enough to tolerate automail reattachment at this time. When he was stubborn about the bandage on his back, she simply grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed his face between his thighs onto the mattress and had a look herself.

Roy was impressed both by Ed’s limberness and that Winry Rockbell had obviously learned at the feet of a true master.

It was determined that the cuts on his back were closed enough to proceed and the matter of port cleaning and other such pre-attachment maintenance would commence the next morning. The elder Mrs. Rockbell then cheerfully volunteered to cook dinner with Alphonse’s assistance and the pair of them left the room, chatting about the inadequacy of the General’s pantry. Young Ms. Rockbell lingered only a moment or two more with a few glances in the General’s direction, before she said she should help too and left the two of them, Roy and Ed, alone in the bedroom since the first time the previous evening.

“Hey,” Ed said, drawing Roy’s attention back from where he’d watched the young woman walk out the door, “I would hope you weren’t checking out her ass. I know you, put that guilt shit away, that’s over.”

Roy sighed. His past with the young lady wasn’t common knowledge, but it was among the people gathered there. It was one of those black spots on his soul that would never come clean, no matter whose words tried to erase them. He looked at Ed then, who smiled at him and made a ‘come here’ motion with his hand. Roy went over to the bedside and Edward grabbed his shirt, tugging on it and pulling him down for a very quick kiss, then shoving him away.

“Thanks for not going into the office today, for sticking around. But I also noticed you take off, you fucking coward, when she jumped me on the bed,” and Ed snorted, “some boyfriend you are.”

Roy grinned and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching up and rubbing Ed’s thigh. Ed darted a glance toward the door, then relaxed and let him.

“You ok with this, I mean all of this so soon?” Roy asked, stroking the pad of his thumb back and forth.

“Yeah, I’m sick of this bed when you’re not in it,” Ed returned with a half smile, “I want to be able to follow you around the house instead of laying here waiting for you to come and jump me.”

“That is one of the sweetest things that has ever come out of your mouth, and to think it only took a near death experience at the hands of a lovely young woman for you to realize just how much you should appreciate me,” Roy grinned.

Ed snorted and shook his head, leaned back on the headboard and sighed.

“No, it will be good to be whole again, the sooner the better,” he said.

Roy nodded and kept up his gentle stroking. He admitted to himself, with a bit of guilt, that he had enjoyed his time. It wasn’t often Ed needed him as he had in the past few days. He wondered at this little perversion he’d taken a liking to, having Ed helpless and dependent, carrying him from room to room. He didn’t know quite what to chalk it up to. He hoped it wasn’t precedent of anything, because he was quite sure once Ed had his limbs back, he’d never stand for such pampering. Although, he didn’t quite seem to mind it, but Edward had always been adaptable and he’d probably just accepted the current situation to be what it was without much thought. Then again, he was remarkably resilient and had been very set in his ways, his determination often offending sensibilities and bruising egos _(and heads)_ along the way. Roy tapped his chin.

“You dirty pervert,” Ed’s voice leapt from behind the corner of his musings and mugged the hell out of them, “go ahead and tell me you aren’t thinking you like me like this, all at your beck and call, having to carry me around everywhere. Go ahead tell me you aren’t thinking it. You always put your hand all over my ass before you pick me up. Go on, tell me.”

What was to tell? Roy just shrugged.

***

The office took up all of his morning, but he found a way to squirm out early in the afternoon, pleased at his own cleverness, but knowing really it was due to Havoc’s distraction at a minor mishap elsewhere on base. Oh well, Havoc would forgive him probably, and if not, he still outranked him.

When he’d been shaken awake from his bed on the couch by Alphonse for breakfast that morning, he was informed that Ed had already been awakened _(but not fed, no matter how bitterly he complained)_ and the Rockbells were already at work. Alphonse had helpfully brought out the General’s uniform and other sundries, which were awaiting him in the den where he could dress, because Pinako Rockbell had said they’d rather not be disturbed. Roy thought he’d heard a couple of muffled shouts while he was dressing, but when he came out for a quick breakfast, it had been quiet. He regretted not being able to say goodbye to Ed that morning, but he thought it best not to intrude, so he left with just a goodbye to Alphonse who looked a little sad to see him go. It felt good, but not quite as good as Ed halfway lunging across the bed to try and physically stall his departure.

When he pushed open his front door that afternoon, something terrible and raw pushed back and he stood frozen in the threshold. It had been a primal noise, something that had rent the air and left it black in its wake. It didn’t even sound _human_. His feet knew better than he did and they began to move, but Alphonse appeared from the den, looking wan and mussed, his shirttail untucked and his hair askew. He gaped at the General, grabbed his arm and tugged hard, managing to divert the General’s feet.

“Why are you home so early,” Al said, fingers digging tightly into the General’s sleeve, trying vainly to get into his field of vision as the General had half turned to stare out the door, “we thought for sure you’d be out until evening!”

“What… what was that?” Roy asked, but he knew, he really knew.

“Ed wouldn’t wait,” Al said raggedly, “when Winry said the port was ready, he wanted the automail, so they worked it up and now they are attaching it,” Al sighed, “I know you’ve heard that it’s painful,” Al sighed, “you have the damnedest timing. I promise it will be ok, just wait, Granny will come get us when we can see him.”

The General resisted at the first few tugs from Alphonse, but eventually he let the boy drag him to the sofa where he sat and braced himself should the horrible sound come again.

***

He stood leaning in the doorway, just looking. The elder Mrs. Rockbell gathered things up and made bundles of dirty towels while the younger Ms. Rockbell was carefully cleaning tools and placing them in travel trays with hinged lids. Alphonse stood just behind him and to his side, leaning against him; he was comforted by the boy’s presence. Even though he knew Alphonse didn’t remember the first time he must have witnessed it, just knowing he had before, and knowing that everything had been okay then, was enough. The ladies didn’t seem to be upset or perturbed, merely going about their business as they always did, immune now to even the cries of one as loved as the figure on the bed between them, it was just the nature of their profession.

But on the bed lay the FullMetal Alchemist, quite as he rarely was, looking pale even from the distance Roy was standing. He wasn’t really the FullMetal Alchemist anymore, the state having freed him when they buried him, but it was Edward, shining in the overhead light of the bedroom, with two arms, two legs and whole again. Roy turned to Alphonse and looped his arm around the boy’s shoulders, giving him a smile.

“So passes our time of manageability,” he said, turning to move the boy down the hallway and leave the women to tend his lover, “because now we can’t run from him anymore.”

***

“There is going to be a time of adjustment,” the younger Ms. Rockbell said later when the General returned to check up again, “he hasn’t had the automail in six years and despite what he might think, it’s not like riding a bike. There are some things his nerves will have to learn again.”

“I can hear you,” came a weak murmur from the bed. She turned and the General peered eagerly to see the flash of gold in the pale face. He wasn’t disappointed, because Edward opened his eyes, “and you’re just a fuckin’ mother hen, what’s gotten into you?” Roy wondered why Edward wished to risk death at the hands of this woman, time and again.

Winry turned back to the General as if Edward hadn’t spoken. The General once again gave her his full attention, because that is how one treated ladies and he wasn’t about to buck the system. Also because he owed it to her, he owed her his attention at any time she wished to speak to him for the rest of his natural days.

“So Granny and I think he should come back to Risembool with us,” she continued, “until he’s capable of managing it. It’s not quite what he’s used to and I’d rather not have to travel out here again when he’s broken it or you or Al with it.”

Roy’s eyes briefly darted over her shoulder to meet Edward’s, but Edward’s turned away, offering no argument to the separation. The General sucked on the side of his cheek, looked again at Ms. Rockbell, and gave a short nod, “Whatever you think is best,” the General said.

***

He was called into service as transportation one more time. He carried a fully dressed Edward from the bedroom to a waiting van a couple of days later. He’d spent another two fitful nights on the couch and his back was helpfully informing him that Edward was a hell of a lot heavier now than he had been. They hadn’t had a moment alone since the reattachment, because Winry slept in the room with him and would periodically check him for fever or other signs of rejection. The elder Mrs. Rockbell was also underfoot the entire time, with her uncanny ability to know what had to be done before it needed being done _(such as sending Alphonse to buy Edward clothes, which had never crossed Roy’s mind. In fact, Roy has realized he’d just as soon Edward live in that pajama top and those boxers because he was so easy to get naked in mere seconds that way)_ and there had simply been no time for them to be alone.

Alphonse was helping load boxes into the back of the van they’d requested. Mrs. Rockbell was supervising while Ms. Rockbell had climbed in to prepare a place to secure Edward with pillows and blankets borrowed for the trip. So Roy stood in the driveway with his lover in his arms and wondered how much longer it would be for his life to begin again since it had begun again not more than a scant two weeks ago.

“I want to kiss you goodbye,” the man in his arms said suddenly, “but… you know why I can’t,” he ended miserably, “I’ll call you while I’m there, it won’t take long, I promise.”

The General smiled a bit and bowed his head.

“I’d forgotten to mention that Alphonse knows,” Roy said softly, “not that it makes much difference now, but he does, he told me so. Has he said anything to you, I think he was scared of your reaction.”

“You are a real bastard for telling me this right now,” Edward growled lowly, “when you know I can’t properly beat out of you just how it is he found out. When I get back, your ass is mine,” he finished on a snarl.

“I have no doubt,” Roy said, giving Edward a bounce, “but he really figured it out on his own, whether you believe that or not is up to you,” Roy smiled a little sadly, “I just wished all your family were so perceptive, then I could have my kiss goodbye. I’m really going to miss you; I thought I was through with that.”

Then Edward was kissing him, and Roy kissed back and it got very quiet around them but he didn’t mind at all. When Edward released him, he carried him to the van where Ms. Rockbell stared at them a moment and fumbled around before directing the General on how to arrange Edward. He helped tuck blankets and fluff pillows and kissed metal fingers one last time before he withdrew, and then he stood back as Alphonse helped Granny into the front seat. Before he shut the door for her, she leaned out a little and regarded the General for a moment.

“Well, the train ride home isn’t going to be dull at all,” she said, “I guess I should thank you for that.” Then she allowed Alphonse to close the door. Ms. Rockbell shut the side door and the van backed down the driveway. The General looked at Alphonse and Alphonse shrugged.

“It’s not like they’ll kill him,” Al said, “much.”

“I didn’t ask for that,” Roy said, “I didn’t want to get him in trouble with your family.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, General,” Alphonse said kindly, “would you rather he be ashamed of you? I personally don’t think he could do any better,” Al grinned, “you’re like the most eligible bachelor around. Brother should be proud I think, and you should win that damn pool after all these years.”

The General laughed and gave Al’s shoulder a friendly push.

“I should. If I do, I’ll buy you some more paper. Besides, if they do kill him, he would have died for love and how noble a death can one get?” Roy turned up the walk, feeling a bit lost but not alone. He didn’t mean it in a sense of being physically by himself or even companionship-wise, because he still had his office crew and he had Alphonse, who was just as important to him as his wayward brother.

With a kiss, unashamed, Edward had once again delivered him.

Life was a good place to be.

***

The General had been sincerely trying to work when all hell broke loose in the office. For the past three weeks, he’d been a very diligent man, he wanted the distraction. So when he glanced up, annoyed and ready to give these interlopers a piece of his mind, he wasn’t prepared for the man standing in the doorway with a cocky grin and blonde ponytail that had made his subordinates lose their minds.

He leapt to his feet, and stood watching the hand shaking and back pounding. Edward endured it all, getting a bit excited himself. People started appearing from all over, those who remembered him and those who were curious, and the office was becoming a crush of people and noise. Edward looked toward him apologetically, but the General was grinning like a fool himself, because this was just another confirmation that Edward had finally come home.

  
It really made itself more than apparent that he’d been missed by not only the General when Colonel Hawkeye hugged the blonde man and let everyone see her do it.

***

“Your brother is a wonderful person,” Roy said against Edward’s temple as the young man panted and kneaded on the General’s naked hips.

“Really weird time to be bringing him up,” Edward gasped and shifted just a bit, but didn’t let the General lift his weight off of him.

“He told me he would be so busy at headquarters this week that he didn’t think he could make it out even once,” the General dragged his lips from temple to jaw to throat and Edward moaned.

“My little brother is the best fuckin’ brother in the world,” the blonde husked and arched upwards.

***

 _Do you see that I’ve learned a lot?_

 _Well don’t think I’m trying not to learn_

Life moved on as it always did. In the three months since his return, many things had changed for Edward Elric.

The first and foremost of course, was the reunion with his brother Alphonse, on whom his whole journey was based. He regretted not one moment of it and would live it again, if only to see his younger brother’s smiles every day. He was glad the General had finally convinced Al to move into the room that had been his since the moment the house had been purchased. Right now, Al was in the den, speaking on the phone and it was a grand and wonderful thing that so many people often took for granted, just to hear their loved one in another room, speaking on the phone. Edward would never let anything, even these small trivial things, pass him by ever again.

The next best thing to Alphonse sat reading in the living room, sprawled in an oversized chair with his phonograph beside him, listening and reading. It must be a time honored Mustang routine that Edward never got to fully appreciate before.

 _Since this is the perfect spot to learn…_

 _Oooo, teach me tonight!_

The General really had good tastes in music, even though Edward would never admit it. It was her voice, as well as the General’s comfortable sprawl, that drew him into the living room and over to the chair. He stood looking at the front page of the paper for a few moments as it was covering the General’s face.

 _Let’s start with the ABC of it…_

 _Right down to the XYZ of it…_

He turned around then, backed up, planted his butt between the sprawled legs, turned sideways and threw a leg up over the arm of the chair. He pushed his way under the paper and ground his back between the General’s arm and side, until the General grunted, rearranged, finagled his paper and they both settled with a sigh.

 _Help me solve the mystery of it…_

 _Teach me tonight!_

Edward closed his hand over the side of the paper closest to him and the General obligingly dropped that hand to Edward’s sweater-covered tummy where he began to draw lazy circles. It was amazing to Edward how in sync they could be, how they could turn the pages of the paper so easily in this fashion.

 _One thing isn’t clear my love…_

Life was as it should be, and to Edward, better than he hoped it would be. They had lost everything and left everything behind, and in their search for what had been theirs to begin with, they found everything again. He turned the page with the General again.

 _Should the teacher stand so near my love?_

Edward heard the click of heels in the hallway which stopped in the arch of the living room doorway. He could almost hear Alphonse put his hands on his hips.

“You two are tangled up like drowning sailors again,” he heard his younger brother say, “at this rate we’ll all starve. I guess I’ll make some dinner, you only wanted me to move in here to take care of the both of you.”

“That’s not true,” the General said above Edward’s head.

“You’re really here to referee,” Edward added.

“The both of you are impossible,” Alphonse complained.

Edward and the General turned a page of the paper.

“Fine,” Alphonse said. Edward heard his heel clicks leave and head toward the kitchen.

After his younger brother had gone, Edward turned his cheek against the General’s shoulder and sighed.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said, “we never got to finish our lessons, are all our recent activities just practice?”

“Well Edward, you are a prodigy,” the General said, “I would say, especially after last night in particular, that you have graduated.”

“Oh really,” Edward said, pursing his lips and jiggling his foot over the arm of the chair, “that’s good to know.”

Together they turned another page.

“Any particular reason,” the General murmured, dropping his lips to the top of a blonde head.

“No… yes, maybe,” Edward said, giving the hand on his belly a little push to the right, “I was thinking now that I’ve graduated, I might take up a teaching degree,” he tilted his face up, where a black eye actually left its printed lover and moved to his face.

“You remember when we were standing on the walk outside, waiting to get into the van?” Edward said.

“Very vividly,” the General smiled, “it was your final test. You passed it with flying colors.”

Ed grinned and snuggled harder against the General’s side for a moment, then he continued. “But do you remember me telling you that your ass was mine when I got back?” he prodded.

“I do, but you’ve had that talk with Alphonse and I’m a vindicated man,” the General said, his eye tracking back to the paper.

“You didn’t think I meant that _figuratively_ , I hope,” Edward’s voice had dropped to being husky and menacing at the same time. He shoved his free hand between the back of the leather chair and the General’s rump and gave a squeeze.

The black eye shot back to his face and the eyebrow jumped in surprise at Ed’s quickness.

“You see,” Edward said, “while I was away, I learned a few things I’d like to teach you,” he purred.

The General fumbled the next turn of the page.

 _Graduation’s almost here my love…_

 _Come on and teach me tonight._

 

 _-fini-  
_


End file.
